A Literary Limerick – Gods of Asphalt

Today’s Music: Willie Nelson – On The Road Again

Those of you that have been around some of the blogs on my blogroll have already heard of H.E. Ellis first book, Gods of Asphalt, Book 1 (or availablehere)

There have been several reviews around the net, all of them good (as they should be). There have been many accolades from other bloggers to H.E. (as there should be).

However, in all my Googling, I have not found a single limerick tribute.
That’s just wrong folks. Or rather, the limerick I am about to present is just wrong.

Those of you who have read the book can see how this fits. Those of you who haven’t should go read the book, then come back and read the limerick (cause I want the site hits). (And the book is pretty damn good.)
Just so you know, H.E. knew nothing about the posting of the limerick. If she had
- It would have been much better
- I would be in traction from massive damage from her running me over in her Jeep. Even though I’m on the 16th floor here.

And so, with no further apologies (since I really can’t make enough of them for this travesty), the Gods of Asphalt limerick:

Playing ball was Sawyers dream in this world
Confronted his dad in a big ugly whirl.
At Gus’ place he learned
How the road twisted and turned.

Drove off with dad to serenade the girl

Really, I don;t know how you people read these limericks. I think I hit a new low. In the head. With a brick.

Anyway, go check out the book. It will do wonders towwards cleaning out the bad taste in your brain from this.
You’re welcome.

57 responses to “A Literary Limerick – Gods of Asphalt

  1. If it gets more readers to take a look
    At Ms. Ellis’ fantastic book
    Your limerick
    Will do the trick
    By giving them the link that they need to click

  2. I’ve put it on my list. Is it anything like “American Gods” by Neil Gaiman? Because that book was awesome!

    The Chicago Public Library system apparently has not yet been enlightened by this book. Is it brand new?

    • Funny that you should have Neil Gaiman and Chicago Public Library in your comment. I remember a kerfluffle with them (this summer maybe) when one of his books was chosen as a featured summer reading book, and some lawmakers objected.
      There isn’t anything supernatural/fantastical about Gods of Asphalt. It’s a novel about a teenager growing as a person, set in Nebraska. To be honest, I found the first few chapters really annoying, until I realized that was because the character could have been me or any of my friends at that age and it was written so well that it really did remind me of me at my worst.
      Overall, I loved the story, and there were touches in the book on par with any famous author.
      If you go with the e-book for .99, you are getting way more than your money’s worth. I’m probably going to grab a hardcopy or two as gifts.

      And I love Neil Gaiman. I recently re-read Neverwhere for the 3rd time. Also, his Doctor Who episode from the last series was one of the best episodes they’ve done.

  3. You have been truly blessed by the Gods of Creativity, my friend! Well done!

    • Thank you! But if you keep encouraging this sort of thing, you will have only yourself to blame for the next installment.
      Though I may set up a side store for brain bleach for those who need it after reading…

  4. Even though I’m a writer, I can’t seem to craft a comment worthy of how totally frigging awesome this limerick is. Seriously dude, you made me dip into my “Jeb” word bank. Awesomesauce.

  5. How Cool!

  6. Guapo, you just keep on Limericking and let us decide what’s a travesty.

  7. Can’t improve on that.

    There once was a woman named Hellis
    Who got along well with the fellis
    Then she wrote a book
    We all took a look
    Now the Gods of Writing are jellis.

    Nope. That suck-diddly-ucked.

    • GAH!!! My eyes!!!
      I’m also betting you just rolled that out as opposed to spending your whole morning commute trying to find the right word that would fit end rhyme.

    • Suck? No. Awesomesauce? Yes!!!!! I think you need to trademark that word. I swear, you’d be rich on royalties right now.

      • Careful – Wil Wheaton uses that word too, and I hear he fights dirty. Saw the guy on a talk show the other day, and he just whipped out a 12 sided die. BAM.
        Host never knew what hit him…

  8. Hi,
    Not bad at all, and now it seems I will have to read of the book, it does sound interesting, and of course link back here to reread the limerick. :D

  9. Thanks, magsx2. Now that you’ve read the limerick, it’s quite possible that the only way to save your brain is to read the book too…

  10. Should I even LIKE or COMMENT given that I haven’t read the book :(

    • You can always read it and come back. It was good, actually finished reading the e book on my monitor at work because I needed to know how it ended.
      And the fact that you can Like or Comment after that limerick gives me hope for your mental constitution!

  11. Nothing wrong with a good limerick. In some societies, it was considered the highest form of art. Those societies have now failed, but I don’t think that’s a reason to disregard it completely. America needs a good limerick right now. Thank you, soldier.

  12. Hey … .I have a book of all limericks, which actually has 13 versions of a girl from Nantucket.

  13. I LIKED because I am sure if I read the book it would make perfect sense – also because I like that you limericked – a favorite of my grandfather cept he mostly liked the dirty ones…like the man from nantucket? I won’t deface your blog with it. Thought about it :-P jk – yea….ummm you ROCK the limerickness of awesomeness.
    Is there anything you won’t do? ;-)

    • Thanks Lizzie. the only things I wouldn’t do are the ones where the jail time isn’t worth the story.
      Though I guess at this point it should be the ones where my wife’s (the most wonderful girl in the universe) disapproval is greater than the the story.
      Fortunately(?), she likes puns, so i can do limericks.

  14. As an ex-poet, I have to say I’ve never written a limerick. But I can certainly appreciate reading one. And if this book inspires such a thing, I might just take a peek.

    • You should take a shot at it!
      EB’s beauty didn’t go to her head.
      She was friendly and warm instead
      But when she hung out with dad
      things turned slightly bad

      And mom had to replace yet another poor shed

      Thank you, I’ll be appearing all week! Try the veal!
      And the book is way better than the babblings here!

  15. El Guapo, you have just stumbled upon the cleverest book marketing ploy since Gutenburg started fooling around with ink!! Of course, I simply must check out the book out now. I am completely under your limerick spell! :)

    • Bwahaha – my evil plan is proceeding exactly as I have foreseen!
      I’ve got a few others under the Limerick tag, but I think this one is the best.
      It’s also the only one where I actually put any effort in.
      (Just mentioning that in case it didn’t show – really, it’s still pretty horrrendous!)

      Thanks Linda!

  16. there’s the first mistake – the cover already looks like the cover after the movie of the book has come out!

    • Looking at it, the cover is actually a great visual description of the book.

      Wonder how they would adapt a limerick for a movie….maybe as a short before the film?

      • Ooohhh! Maybe Pixar could make something based on your limerick! Your limerick here, not your OTHER limerick. Yeah, that would be bad.

        • Wait a minute – Disney had Touchstone pictures for adult films (I mean grown-up, not “adult”)(it’s still Disney for crying out loud!) Maybe we could option the above and “other” limericks as a package deal!
          And they can get Harvey Keitel to do one of the voices!

  17. WordsFallFromMyEyes

    Alas, haven’t read the book – but loved the limerick :)

  18. 1. I will now read this book. 2. I now have a song stuck in my head…. “God of Asphalt” to the tune of “Rock the Casbah.” Grumble.

  19. Well your limerick tribute left me just having to check out the book and some reviews of it! It does look interesting, I have to admit.

  20. Pingback: Hawaiian SPaM « H.E. ELLIS

  21. Pingback: A Literary Limerick – Reapers With Issues | Guapola

Ahem *best Ricky Ricardo voice* Babble-OOOoooo!!!

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