A Literary Limerick – Gods of Asphalt

Posted on 28 December, 2011 by | 57 Comments

Today’s Music: Willie Nelson – On The Road Again

Those of you that have been around some of the blogs on my blogroll have already heard of H.E. Ellis first book, Gods of Asphalt, Book 1 (or availablehere)

There have been several reviews around the net, all of them good (as they should be). There have been many accolades from other bloggers to H.E. (as there should be).

However, in all my Googling, I have not found a single limerick tribute.
That’s just wrong folks. Or rather, the limerick I am about to present is just wrong.

Those of you who have read the book can see how this fits. Those of you who haven’t should go read the book, then come back and read the limerick (cause I want the site hits). (And the book is pretty damn good.)
Just so you know, H.E. knew nothing about the posting of the limerick. If she had
– It would have been much better
– I would be in traction from massive damage from her running me over in her Jeep. Even though I’m on the 16th floor here.

And so, with no further apologies (since I really can’t make enough of them for this travesty), the Gods of Asphalt limerick:

Playing ball was Sawyers dream in this world
Confronted his dad in a big ugly whirl.
At Gus’ place he learned
How the road twisted and turned.
Drove off with dad to serenade the girl

Really, I don;t know how you people read these limericks. I think I hit a new low. In the head. With a brick.
Sigh.

Anyway, go check out the book. It will do wonders towwards cleaning out the bad taste in your brain from this.
You’re welcome.

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57 responses to “A Literary Limerick – Gods of Asphalt”

  1. sandylikeabeach | 28 December, 2011 at 09:17 | Reply

    If it gets more readers to take a look
    At Ms. Ellis’ fantastic book
    Your limerick
    Will do the trick
    By giving them the link that they need to click

    Like

  2. Dan McCullough | 28 December, 2011 at 09:35 | Reply

    I’ve put it on my list. Is it anything like “American Gods” by Neil Gaiman? Because that book was awesome!

    The Chicago Public Library system apparently has not yet been enlightened by this book. Is it brand new?

    Like

    • El Guapo | 28 December, 2011 at 09:43 | Reply

      Funny that you should have Neil Gaiman and Chicago Public Library in your comment. I remember a kerfluffle with them (this summer maybe) when one of his books was chosen as a featured summer reading book, and some lawmakers objected.
      There isn’t anything supernatural/fantastical about Gods of Asphalt. It’s a novel about a teenager growing as a person, set in Nebraska. To be honest, I found the first few chapters really annoying, until I realized that was because the character could have been me or any of my friends at that age and it was written so well that it really did remind me of me at my worst.
      Overall, I loved the story, and there were touches in the book on par with any famous author.
      If you go with the e-book for .99, you are getting way more than your money’s worth. I’m probably going to grab a hardcopy or two as gifts.

      And I love Neil Gaiman. I recently re-read Neverwhere for the 3rd time. Also, his Doctor Who episode from the last series was one of the best episodes they’ve done.

      Like

  3. The Hook | 28 December, 2011 at 09:40 | Reply

    You have been truly blessed by the Gods of Creativity, my friend! Well done!

    Like

    • El Guapo | 28 December, 2011 at 09:44 | Reply

      Thank you! But if you keep encouraging this sort of thing, you will have only yourself to blame for the next installment.
      Though I may set up a side store for brain bleach for those who need it after reading…

      Like

  4. H.E. ELLIS | 28 December, 2011 at 09:47 | Reply

    Even though I’m a writer, I can’t seem to craft a comment worthy of how totally frigging awesome this limerick is. Seriously dude, you made me dip into my “Jeb” word bank. Awesomesauce.

    Like

  5. Weenie Girl | 28 December, 2011 at 11:31 | Reply

    How Cool!

    Like

  6. Brian Christensen | 28 December, 2011 at 11:46 | Reply

    Guapo, you just keep on Limericking and let us decide what’s a travesty.

    Like

  7. Edward Hotspur | 28 December, 2011 at 14:47 | Reply

    Can’t improve on that.

    There once was a woman named Hellis
    Who got along well with the fellis
    Then she wrote a book
    We all took a look
    Now the Gods of Writing are jellis.

    Nope. That suck-diddly-ucked.

    Like

  8. magsx2 | 28 December, 2011 at 14:52 | Reply

    Hi,
    Not bad at all, and now it seems I will have to read of the book, it does sound interesting, and of course link back here to reread the limerick. 😀

    Like

  9. El Guapo | 28 December, 2011 at 15:02 | Reply

    Thanks, magsx2. Now that you’ve read the limerick, it’s quite possible that the only way to save your brain is to read the book too…

    Like

  10. Amor24 | 28 December, 2011 at 16:16 | Reply

    Should I even LIKE or COMMENT given that I haven’t read the book 😦

    Like

    • El Guapo | 28 December, 2011 at 16:28 | Reply

      You can always read it and come back. It was good, actually finished reading the e book on my monitor at work because I needed to know how it ended.
      And the fact that you can Like or Comment after that limerick gives me hope for your mental constitution!

      Like

  11. edrevets | 28 December, 2011 at 21:16 | Reply

    Nothing wrong with a good limerick. In some societies, it was considered the highest form of art. Those societies have now failed, but I don’t think that’s a reason to disregard it completely. America needs a good limerick right now. Thank you, soldier.

    Like

    • El Guapo | 28 December, 2011 at 21:25 | Reply

      Well said, edrevets. You have eloquently summed up the thesis of Jared Diamond’s Guns, Germs and Limericks – The Fates of Societies.
      Perhaps you’ll make some sort of rhyming couplet construction about it?

      Like

      • El Guapo | 28 December, 2011 at 21:40 | Reply

        Wow, didn’t mean to put the buy link there.
        But it was a fascinating (if a bit dry) book.

        Like

        • edrevets | 28 December, 2011 at 21:47 | Reply

          well I can see you’re either a huge fan of the book or an underground marketer.

          I did try to read it once, but something happened after the first chapter and I never finished it. It’s still around here somewhere…..

          Like

          • El Guapo | 28 December, 2011 at 21:49 | Reply

            I’m still amazed that I get into stuff like that. Started his other one – Collapse, just couldn’t get into it. Should try again…
            Got any good Civil War history?

            Like

            • edrevets | 28 December, 2011 at 21:51 | Reply

              I only know of Gods and Generals… I read it a while ago and I think it made me tear up. War can be sad sometimes.

              Like

              • El Guapo | 28 December, 2011 at 22:03 | Reply

                Check out The Last Full Measure by the father, Jeff Shaara. His son wrote Gods and Generals, and the third (don’t recall the title). It was a fascinating, moving and wrenching story, almost completely dead on in its historical accuracy.
                It’s the best of the three and the first Civil War stuff I read. It pushed me down a fascinating path.
                Aannddd now I’ve hijacked my own blog entry.
                Sigh…

                And read Gods of Asphalt!
                (there, back on track)

                Like

  12. aFrankAngle | 28 December, 2011 at 21:36 | Reply

    Hey … .I have a book of all limericks, which actually has 13 versions of a girl from Nantucket.

    Like

  13. lizziecracked | 28 December, 2011 at 21:38 | Reply

    I LIKED because I am sure if I read the book it would make perfect sense – also because I like that you limericked – a favorite of my grandfather cept he mostly liked the dirty ones…like the man from nantucket? I won’t deface your blog with it. Thought about it 😛 jk – yea….ummm you ROCK the limerickness of awesomeness.
    Is there anything you won’t do?
    😉

    Like

    • El Guapo | 28 December, 2011 at 21:44 | Reply

      Thanks Lizzie. the only things I wouldn’t do are the ones where the jail time isn’t worth the story.
      Though I guess at this point it should be the ones where my wife’s (the most wonderful girl in the universe) disapproval is greater than the the story.
      Fortunately(?), she likes puns, so i can do limericks.

      Like

  14. jell jell @ I'll Sleep When They're Grown | 28 December, 2011 at 23:07 | Reply

    As an ex-poet, I have to say I’ve never written a limerick. But I can certainly appreciate reading one. And if this book inspires such a thing, I might just take a peek.

    Like

    • El Guapo | 29 December, 2011 at 08:48 | Reply

      You should take a shot at it!
      EB’s beauty didn’t go to her head.
      She was friendly and warm instead
      But when she hung out with dad
      things turned slightly bad
      And mom had to replace yet another poor shed

      Thank you, I’ll be appearing all week! Try the veal!
      And the book is way better than the babblings here!

      Like

  15. Linda Vernon | 29 December, 2011 at 00:02 | Reply

    El Guapo, you have just stumbled upon the cleverest book marketing ploy since Gutenburg started fooling around with ink!! Of course, I simply must check out the book out now. I am completely under your limerick spell! 🙂

    Like

    • El Guapo | 29 December, 2011 at 08:49 | Reply

      Bwahaha – my evil plan is proceeding exactly as I have foreseen!
      I’ve got a few others under the Limerick tag, but I think this one is the best.
      It’s also the only one where I actually put any effort in.
      (Just mentioning that in case it didn’t show – really, it’s still pretty horrrendous!)

      Thanks Linda!

      Like

  16. Whitney Soup | 29 December, 2011 at 14:46 | Reply

    there’s the first mistake – the cover already looks like the cover after the movie of the book has come out!

    Like

    • El Guapo | 29 December, 2011 at 15:08 | Reply

      Looking at it, the cover is actually a great visual description of the book.

      Wonder how they would adapt a limerick for a movie….maybe as a short before the film?

      Like

      • H.E. ELLIS | 29 December, 2011 at 15:15 | Reply

        Ooohhh! Maybe Pixar could make something based on your limerick! Your limerick here, not your OTHER limerick. Yeah, that would be bad.

        Like

        • El Guapo | 29 December, 2011 at 15:34 | Reply

          Wait a minute – Disney had Touchstone pictures for adult films (I mean grown-up, not “adult”)(it’s still Disney for crying out loud!) Maybe we could option the above and “other” limericks as a package deal!
          And they can get Harvey Keitel to do one of the voices!

          Like

  18. WordsFallFromMyEyes | 29 December, 2011 at 21:16 | Reply

    Alas, haven’t read the book – but loved the limerick 🙂

    Like

  19. callmequirky | 30 December, 2011 at 12:28 | Reply

    1. I will now read this book. 2. I now have a song stuck in my head…. “God of Asphalt” to the tune of “Rock the Casbah.” Grumble.

    Like

  20. therecoveringbrit | 1 January, 2012 at 12:42 | Reply

    Well your limerick tribute left me just having to check out the book and some reviews of it! It does look interesting, I have to admit.

    Like

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