A Literary Limerick (and Haiku!) – Star Wars: A New Hope

Posted on August 28, 2012 | 65 Comments

Today’s Music: Meco – Star Wars Theme/Cantina
Note on today’s music: If you’ve never heard this disco version, you should click the link.

Continuing in the tradition of disrespect for the classics, El Guapo is proud to present his latest invitation to be sued by the copyright holders of great works.
Today, we turn our literary Tourette’s on the Star Wars saga.
(There was a novelization of the movie I owned as boy. So there.)

This one is actually based on a request. Love & Lunchmeat asked if Star Wars could be done. Possibly in Haiku.
As we are ecstatic that anyone pays any attention to these at all, we are happy to oblige.

A note on Haiku: it is a venerated Japanese art form. The traditional structure is 17 “on“. On are not the same as syllables. I have no idea what they are, so I don’t feel bad about the meter here at all.

One other note on this series: This will be episodes 4, 5 and 6. Not 1, 2 or 3.
Star Wars. Not Star Wars: The Quest To Cash In.

A battle of good versus evil.

A son inherits more than a lightsaber.

Dude, don’t kiss you sister.

Star Wars
A New Hope
He grew up fast, in confusion and blur.
“For luck” she said as he kissed her.
In the trench he shot true
No more Death Star for you!
But dude, you just kissed your sister!!!

And just to cleanse your palate, here’s Bill Murray’s lyrics from an old old Saturday Night Live skit.

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This entry was posted in Babblings, Limerick, Literature, Star Wars, Uncategorized and tagged Incest, Love and Lunchmeat, Meco, Star Wars, Star Wars Disco. Bookmark the permalink.

65 Responses to A Literary Limerick (and Haiku!) – Star Wars: A New Hope

Carrie Rubin | August 28, 2012 at 12:45 | Reply

Maybe if the movies would have incorporated your poetry, I would have liked them better. I’m apparently the only American who was blasé about these movies. Is that treason?
- El Guapo | August 28, 2012 at 13:37 | Reply
  
  Not treason, Carrie. Just…unusual.
  But we wouldn’t have you any other way!
- Love & Lunchmeat | August 28, 2012 at 20:22 | Reply
  
  Nope, it’s treason. If you’re going to say things like that you should probably post a new picture with the hat actually in front of your face.
  
  I’m only suggesting it because I care.
  - Carrie Rubin | August 28, 2012 at 21:05 | Reply
    
    I will take your advice under advisement. I have two sons and a husband who would agree with you. My disinterest in those movies astounds them.
GingerSnaap | August 28, 2012 at 12:52 | Reply

Your Star Wars Haiku/ Is awesome,but you forgot / “Luke,I’m your Father”.

Yeah, I won’t be quitting my day job to write in Haiku anytime soon.
- El Guapo | August 28, 2012 at 13:38 | Reply
  
  I don’t know. I think with a little polishing, it could be as good as your poetry, Ginger.
  Didn’t forget that. But it’s the second movie.
  Still have to right that one…
  - GingerSnaap | August 28, 2012 at 14:01 | Reply
    
    Oh, right! I knew that, I just wanted to see if YOU knew that,Guap.
    Yeah. Glad to see you are paying attention! Somebody needs to.
bipolarmuse | August 28, 2012 at 12:53 | Reply

I love the Haiku! Dont kiss your sister! LOL, love it.
Great post… had me smiling. ♥
- El Guapo | August 28, 2012 at 13:38 | Reply
  
  Thanks Muse! A smile is all I was going for.
  (Well, perhaps a groan too!)
braintomahawk | August 28, 2012 at 13:18 | Reply

Dude, spoiler alert!
braintomahawk | August 28, 2012 at 13:20 | Reply

Inspiring me, you are.
Hair By Cinnabon
Abbot and Costello Droids
Damn right Han Shot First
- El Guapo | August 28, 2012 at 13:40 | Reply
  
  Thanks Braintomohawk. You may have just gotten me to do one of the next two in Yoda’s voice!
  - braintomahawk | August 28, 2012 at 15:23 | Reply
    
    Do! Or do not! There is no may!
    - El Guapo | August 28, 2012 at 15:45 | Reply
      
      Forceful are you, in the encouragement of limericks.
Madame Weebles | August 28, 2012 at 13:22 | Reply

Profound, Guap. You really managed to capture the essence of Star Wars here. it’s like I’m watching the movie all over again. Also, I love that Bill Murray sketch. I like singing the theme every so often, it’s fun.
- El Guapo | August 28, 2012 at 13:41 | Reply
  
  Thanks Madame Weebles.
  I play that theme on road trips whenever I cross the first bridge out of NYC. My girl just queues it up for me.
Alex Autin | August 28, 2012 at 13:27 | Reply

I love both the limerick and haiku, well done! I also love Star Wars, but please, PLEASE, Guapo, don’t ask me to watch Bill Murry.
- El Guapo | August 28, 2012 at 13:41 | Reply
  
  Thank you, Alex.
  I’m surprised – neither Caddy Shack nor Groundhog Day do anything for you?
  - Alex Autin | August 28, 2012 at 13:47 | Reply
    
    I …just ….can’t. He’s like nails on a chalkboard for me. Seriously.
    - El Guapo | August 28, 2012 at 15:47 | Reply
      
      Wow. Well ok then.
      No Bill Murray. Got it.
susielindau | August 28, 2012 at 14:17 | Reply

So funny! Love the video!
- El Guapo | August 28, 2012 at 14:43 | Reply
  
  Thanks Susie.
  I remember Murray doing the skit on SNL – a cheesy lounge act. That song’s been in my head for 30 years now.
Linda Vernon | August 28, 2012 at 14:22 | Reply

LOL! So funny Guap. Why is it I never noticed that before! These are hilarious! And the look on Luke’s face really cracks me up!
- El Guapo | August 28, 2012 at 14:43 | Reply
  
  Thanks Linda. Luke didn’t even know then.
  But I bet he suspected!
A gripping life | August 28, 2012 at 14:59 | Reply

With these two outstanding efforts, you’ve helped me to wash away all memories of Harry Potter, which is no easy feat. Bravo! Excellent Guapo!! (my favorite line… Dude, don’t kiss your sister.)
- El Guapo | August 28, 2012 at 15:40 | Reply
  
  Thanks, Lisa! I’m glad the haiku is there to take the bite away from the limericks.
  Only two more pairs to go for the set!
Elyse | August 28, 2012 at 16:22 | Reply

Perfect.

You know you should publish a collection of these. About 30 years ago, there was a clever little book called “Shrinklets” that condensed all of the great works of literature. you could make your fortune (or at least lunch monet) doing a haiku version of pop fiction!
- El Guapo | August 29, 2012 at 08:40 | Reply
  
  That’s a great idea! Thanks Elyse.
  Shouldn’t even be any copyright issues for something like that.
  Hmm…..
free penny press | August 28, 2012 at 18:00 | Reply

Why this phrase “literary Tourette’s ” cracked me up I don’t know.. remind me not to read your posts while 2 work because I just spit coffee all over my desk while laughing..:-)
- El Guapo | August 29, 2012 at 08:40 | Reply
  
  I believe my work here is done, FPP.
Cayman Thorn | August 28, 2012 at 20:16 | Reply

Love the Haiku, especially that last line. Yep, made for a rather interesting family re-union at the Skywalkers.
- Androgoth | August 29, 2012 at 05:58 | Reply
  
  You should have seen what happened
  after th Light Sabres came out… Ooooh Icky
  
  Androgoth
Love & Lunchmeat | August 28, 2012 at 20:35 | Reply

So thrilled am I for
Star Wars haiku but you must
watch your syllables!

And… courtesy of Mr. Lunchmeat:

You say “I love you”
Awaiting cold carbonite
I say that I know.

Don’t be too proud, your
technological terror
no match for the Force.

He’s quite good, I know.
That’s why I married him, for
the Star Wars haiku.
- El Guapo | August 29, 2012 at 08:46 | Reply
  
  Egad! he and I should collaborate, L&L!
Smaktakula | August 28, 2012 at 22:50 | Reply

Loved the haiku and the limerick. I usually enjoy your haiku & limericks, but especially here, because unlike Harry Potter, I’ve seen and loved the Star Wars movies (although I’m with you regarding the dream-crushing Parts I, II & III). You are wise to remind us that sister-kissing is poor form north of the Mason-Dixon.

I have heard the Cantina disco song, but it was a long time ago, but in a galaxy right, right here.
- El Guapo | August 29, 2012 at 08:46 | Reply
  
  Careful, Smak – you’re going to give away both our ages!
  - Smaktakula | August 29, 2012 at 11:16 | Reply
    
    Well, I was born in the fall of 1931, and I know you’re a little bit older…
    - El Guapo | August 29, 2012 at 12:15 | Reply
      
      ’31?
      Sheesh, you’re a child!
hypersensationalism | August 28, 2012 at 23:08 | Reply

I’ve never actually seen Starwars…should chuck it on my bucket list
- El Guapo | August 29, 2012 at 08:47 | Reply
  
  Egad! Australia truly is an uncivilized arena!
butimbeautiful | August 29, 2012 at 03:56 | Reply

I’ve never understood the appeal of Star Wars. And Princess Leila – just no! Although I did once see it done by one guy (the whole trilogy) in a single hour long performance in a theatre.
- El Guapo | August 29, 2012 at 08:48 | Reply
  
  I heard of that, beautiful. Someone was doing it in NY, but I didn’t have a chance to catch it.
Androgoth | August 29, 2012 at 05:56 | Reply

Usually I can’t stand that freakin’ Haiku
but your interpretation is definitely spot on

Yes El Guapo that means
that I like your version lol
Have a ghoulishly dark and
wicked one today my friend…

Androgoth
- El Guapo | August 29, 2012 at 08:49 | Reply
  
  Thank you, Androgoth.
  Now I just have to think of two more to finish off the set…
  
  Afternoon there now, so I hope you are well prepared for your evening!
  Unless you prefer the surprise!
lizziecracked | August 29, 2012 at 06:54 | Reply

Dude..
I was ho…..I mean….well what am
With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility

On that think, you should.
- El Guapo | August 29, 2012 at 08:50 | Reply
  
  Truly, mastered Yoda speak, you have, LizzieC.
whiteladyinthehood | August 29, 2012 at 08:38 | Reply

LMAO! Dude, don’t kiss your sister – too, too funny!
- El Guapo | August 29, 2012 at 08:51 | Reply
  
  Thanks whitelady.
  Think I backed myself in a corner with that – going ot have to find something equally inane for the last two!
  - whiteladyinthehood | August 29, 2012 at 08:57 | Reply
    
    I have NO doubt the next two will be awesome…
No Blog Intended | August 29, 2012 at 14:31 | Reply

I love your limericks!
And this post reminds me of the time we had to write a haiku in Latin. They can be so challenging, right?
Once more: I adore your humour, Guapo. I just adore it. I’m going to hang a poster of your humour at my walls. Seriously.
- El Guapo | August 29, 2012 at 16:48 | Reply
  
  Thanks so much, NBI!
  I only know (think?) two things about haiku:
  - an “On” doesn’t translate to syllable
  - the lines shouldn’t be a directly continuous sentence, but should infer a relationship.
  
  I don’t know if that’s true, but it does make a fun challenge. I would love to speak another language well enough to Haiku in it!
whatimeant2say | August 29, 2012 at 22:24 | Reply

I LOVE your limericks!
Stacy Lyn | August 30, 2012 at 04:22 | Reply

Thanks, Guap. I was having limerick withdrawals. <3
- El Guapo | August 30, 2012 at 14:09 | Reply
  
  Your welcome, Stacy. But it’s a sad sad thing when the cure is as bad as these!
thoughtsappear | August 30, 2012 at 08:43 | Reply

I’m glad you went with Episodes 4, 5, and 6. The others don’t really count in my book.
- El Guapo | August 30, 2012 at 14:08 | Reply
  
  Very true, Thoughtsy. And 4, 5, 6 before Lucas’ revisions too!
starlaschat | August 30, 2012 at 14:19 | Reply

I thought all my comments were babbled into oblivion?
- El Guapo | August 30, 2012 at 14:22 | Reply
  
  Ha! You’re a special breed of babbler, Starla.
  And I mean that in the best possible way!
  - starlaschat | August 30, 2012 at 14:24 | Reply
    
    Ahhh Thank You! I will take that as a compliment! :+)
    - El Guapo | August 30, 2012 at 14:27 | Reply
      
      As it was meant.
According To Mags (@AccordingToMags) | August 30, 2012 at 19:12 | Reply

“Dude, don’t kiss your sister.” PERFECT CLOSING LINE!!
I very much enjoy these!
ristinw | August 31, 2012 at 02:16 | Reply

Very cool headphone hairstyle
zannyro | September 5, 2012 at 00:28 | Reply

It’s what? Been almost a week since you posted this and I just had to come back to look at it again…I just love it..”But Dude, you kissed your sister!”
Love it,love it,love it!
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