Friday Foolishness – Get The Goods Edition

Today’s Music: Phantogram – When I’m Small

Summary of the week that was:
Cons – Cube Life. Crappy Holiday Music. Still looking for work.
Pros – Living with TMWGITU. The more relaxed spirit of the holiday season. And blogs!
Here’s some of what I read this week.
Natalie introduced us to her very cool sister. Hasty Words wrote some more great poetry, and and TwinDaddy asked a question we all have some kind of answer for.

Thanks to them, and to all of you, for making it a pleasure to be online!

It's the book that makes the ensemble.

It’s the book that makes the ensemble.

But that’s not all there was last week. There was a poll! We wondered how y’all thought El Guapo stayed so handsome.
And some of your answers were impossible, immoral, or downright illegal. And I loved every single one of them!
Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments strut down the runway in italics.)

Shopping for Cigars with Bill… Androgoth
(Better than shopping for dresses with him. (They end up stained…))
Taking Lessons from Andro… Androgoth
(I have been! Pay no attention to those binoculars across the street.)
Abstaining from Sex… Laugh Everyone that was a Joke… Androgoth
(Oh yes. A joke. Ha. Haha. Sob…)
Drinking Jet Fuel… The Killer Shot… Androgoth
(It’s not the drinking. It’s the keeping it down.)
Kissing Fifty Virgins on the Ass and Whistling Dixie… Androgoth
(It’s not the kissing so much as the getting slapped after. Does wonders for my skin!)
Bee stings and birds pooping on your face like Snow White & the Huntsman? Quirky
(It sounds so tawdry when you put it like that…)
Magnificent Hair of course! lindav
(I buy it by the yard from Petco!)
daily mud mask with secretions from David Bowie’s naughty bits. Rutabaga ~ (TMR)
(Isn’t all of David Bowie a naughty bit?)
Shit Glitter ! ~Miss R
(Only my butcher knows for sure what I eat to make my poop so sparkly!)
Posting pictures of some other guy. Elyse 54.5
(Yes! Yes, those are pictures of men I’m posting! *hides collection of Olympic Russian female weightlifter pictures*)
blogging! bungeejumping! being awesome! NBI
(The trick is doing them all at the same time…)
Oil of Olay John Phillips
(Wait – you mean it’s not just a food topping?!?)
Always stand next to someone who is uglier than you (family excluded) Michelle
(Trust me, family has learned not to stand next to me. Sadly, strangers learn it pretty fast too…)
Fastidious regime of unicorn polo and marshmallow laser treatments
(No, there was a regime change to overthrow the Weapons of Mass AWESOME!!!)
An apple from his Eve, and a call into Dr John the next morning+
(Given Dr John’s reputation, why exactly would I want to call him?)
Eating babies. (GiggsMcGill Jill)
(Actually, I like to steep them in gravy just to impart their sweet flavor!)
Beanz on toazt and on everything elze, too.
(Well, it’s true I’ve been accused of having beanz in my earz…)
It’s a toupee!!! Please say it’s a toupee. L&L
(It’s a toupee. Wow, it’s easy to make you happy.)
WHO??? OMG, you mean that devilishly handsome fella with not enuf space to say boo to even on the day after his (he’s HOW old) and to wonder who buddhakat is? Oh, I guess I don’t remember the guy – I used to visit his blog all the time then I got so busy, and now I’m baaaaaack!!!!! ;) buddhakatvotes for EG!!!
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!! (If only for figuring out how to get past the comment length limit.)
He’s Dracula’s younger brother – benzeknees
(Fangs for noticing!)
The Baker’s Dozen ‘o Donuts in his Yellow Lederhosen -Miss R
(Those ain’t donuts, bab- oh wait, yes they are…)
He’s really from another planet – not mine. John E.
(That’s it, I’m telling the mothership to leave you behind.)
MEGA doses of Vitamin’s zannyrobut don’t tell anybody,lol
(Liquid vitamin cute. Sold under the street name “beer”.)
a happy and fulfulling life with his lady
(Now how can answer that snarkily? Oh right, because I’m me.)
intense marshmallow lazer therapy – Alex A: )
(The marshmallow makes my hair all sticky shiny.)
Drinking Hotspur juice! eeeww…(words&otherthings)
(No, but I’m now vomiting my bug juice.)
He probably gets Chinese baby pills from the black market. – Emily @ The Waiting
(Made in Korea! (no one will get that but you.))
photoshop Stay Abnormal
(Tried to capture my image. Broke the laptop camera.)
Nada, it’s in the sexy Rico Suave genes under his jeans. (Kina, humaninrecovery)
(There is nothing under my jeans. Hehehe.)
Good food and great beer! KBar3
(But the mediocre stuff is so much cheaper!)
Vampire blood–says Carrie Rubin
(Yikes! I’m glad vampires are the trend right now and not zombies!)
Photoshop – StuphBlog
(No, I just use the pictures that come with the frames.)
being in love with TMWGITU. Loving spirits are more beautiful – sandylikeabeach
(No no, I’m all about the outer beauty.)
Beer diet and extreme sports, or good genes or is it good jeans? (Kanerva)
(The jeans don’t fit from the beer diet. Wouldn’t. I mean wouldn’t fit. Crap. )
TLC from TMWGITU (Frank)
(…and bdsm. Hehehe)
By remaining young at heart and positively positive. KJ
(And more than just a little relaxedly relaxed!)
quarts of vasoline (addie)
(Gallons. Have you seen how long my hair is?)

Congratulations to buddhakat for this weeks winning answer! And from the offered choices, the most popular was BRRAAAAIIIINNNSSS!!!!! A fantastic post birthday present!

Which means, I guess, that it’s time for this week’s poll. I’m not so sure, because my head is spinning from all the gift shopping crowds stumbling through midtown. So this time, the question is all about the holiday shopping.
Answer when you have a moment, but don’t take too long, because this one ends at 2359EST, on 20 Dec.

And until we meet again, enjoy these.
In the spirit of the season, the first is one of TMWGITU’s favorites

And lastly, for those of you with enough time on your hands (I already know your senses of humor are bent enough), this is for you:

Have a great week, can’t wait til we run into each other again!

95 responses to “Friday Foolishness – Get The Goods Edition

  1. I forgot to leave my name on my poll!! DAMN ME!!! I may be the Queen of Internet Shopping, but, I suck lemons on polls!!

  2. Snow miser is awesome…

  3. I always feel like a celebrity when I see you mention me here!!!!! Thank you!!!!

  4. Thanks for the foolishness Guapo! Oil of Olay! I knew it!
    You won my contest!

  5. DAMMIT! I was soo excited about winning last week that I forgot to vote in the new poll! Sigh.

  6. I’m always amazed at the sheer amount of work you put into this blog of yours, buddy! Great work!

  7. You made my day, thank you!

  8. First time Snow Miser for me … did he say iced his balls? …. Dang, another runner up for me. Hopefully no cube for you at least for two days.

  9. Shit Glitter is just weird…….

  10. I singlehandedly provide my FedEx and UPS men job security out here in my Podunk little town. Damn you (or thank you?) Amazon Prime.

    Scouring the internets for a cooking monkey for you–no luck yet. I may actually have to go to the mall. Or the circus. Or Mexico. Have a great week Guap!

    • I sometimes wonder if we pay for internet convenience by having empty storefronts in our towns, RoS. But I use them constantly too.

      Canada might have cheap monkeys for export, since you can dress them up up there! (Does carry them?) :)

      • Yeah, I checked; they only have the frou frou monkeys that come with their own shearling coats.

        You reminded me though to check my local hardware store. Hey, you never know!

  11. I am so going to make a scooby painting! That guy rocks. i totally needed that video for my wtf Friday.

  12. It’s the book that makes the ensemble? I think it’s really the shoes.

    BTW, thanks for the shout out!

  13. I LOVE Snow Miser Heat Miser! Heat Miser though looks like my ex when we first got married – the hair I mean…now he is bald but anyways where is my answer?? What did I do put it on the wrong flippin poll there were like a hundred of them last week but ..i voted i did.. didn;t I? Did my answer get eaten? I had something to tell you – but I forgot so i’ll have to remember..

    and … only you could turn a yes or no question into a poll with 5 ..5? answers and a place to write in – gonna have to get creative cause the answer is just no – I haven;t started.. what? Grace under pressure c’mon…

    you put that picture up there to get Ginger going didn;t ya?? now we have to worry aobut that one popping up for a year.. i am afraid to ask where you get them..there is a kind of theme and ..uh..yea.. Cheers :-)

    • I completely forgot about the Ginger-scarring potential of that pic, LizzieC.
      We’re doomed.

      • can we do anything ? Has she seen it? I am not so convinced of late that it isn;t if not the end of the world some calamatous event – everything was off today – in the weirdest way.. but your right the book does make the ensemble…

  14. There’s a holiday coming?? (This is ME to a tee!) I know what I’ll be doing this weekend!

    • If you’re anything like me, spleeness, you’ll be lying in the couch, saying “I should really get up and go shoppi- Oh, NCIS rerun…good one. I’ll watch this instead…”

  15. Well, I forgot to leave my name on the poll too.
    That Scooby Doo thing is creepy, but I feel tempted to try, if I only had the time.

  16. Absolutely LOVE that last video! My gosh, how do people come up with this stuff??! I’ll have to sit down with my technological devices and watch it frame by frame because it’s more advanced than I’m accustomed to…. great idea and great reading about your secrets of Handsome! Have a fantabulous weekend!

  17. I think I’m in agreement with John Philipps – I think you’re an Oil of Olay kind of guy, or maybe just leave off the ‘of Olay.’ You’re so handsome that you might just only use the oil?

  18. Crappy holiday music….please don’t remind me. The Scooby Doo painting is very cool! I hope Santa brings that!!

  19. How, hi are you? I am very interested in your article and would like to learn more on this subject. I am a real person. I am not a bot person or a spam person. Your blog has much useful information stuff to learn about things. Would you like to buy some pills that make your naughty bits quite a much bigger?

  20. You’re amazing to put these together week after week with all those links. No wonder everyone loves you! And these were so much fun to read through. Well, except the eating babies part. That’s a bit disturbing… ;)

    • I can see how that would be disturbing Carrie, especially if there were lumps in the gravy.

      When I started these, I got 2 to 4 write ins. By the time it picked up, it was too late to stop.
      Oops… ;)

  21. I am dying to know your search terms this week with a post including BDSM, gallons of Vaseline and shit glitter…and this many references to naughty bits.

    Hate to hear about the cubicle droning. Hopefully Hanukkah Harry will bring you a new job.

    Killer song. Chin up, Guapo. TMWGITU is the best thing you can have. I would order one, but you got the last one.

    • I hadn’t even thought of that, Red! Up to now, my most recurring search hits have been related to the naked bar dance.
      Going to have to add some tags to this post…

  22. Oh it’s good to see Buddakat back among the crazies!! And the video were fun. I think you should get the eye cam for you new cube! I wonder whose portrait you should use?

  23. free penny press

    Dang, I never win anything.. Oh wait, one time I won a broken umbrella (true).. So on that note I’m a winner :-)
    Have a great weekend and all that jazz..

  24. Sorry, my friend, but the mothership already left me behind. The pisser is that they won’t answer their communicators! (And YOU try finding a fusion battery on this backwards mudball! ;) )
    You have a good weekend, sir, and I hope to see you at my place on Sunday. (For the 68th anniversary, of course!) :D

  25. I’ll have to post the picture of the Halloween Joe let his hair get too long, then spiked it, then sprayed it red, and (not on purpose) looked exactly like Heat Meiser. That’s one of my favorites, too!!! I haven’t caught it yet this year.

    And that other video was AWESOME! Totes fab.

  26. Ah, so TMWGITU and I have another thing in common besides loving you! Heat Miser and Snow Miser are my absolute favorites!

  27. Ok, I’m a little new here. Please help me out. What is TMWGITU? Thanks for the Miser video. Now I my holiday season has begun and I can start shopping! I like that one, too.

    • Um, congrats on starting shopping, Bumble? (Good luck, and keep the armor oiled so it doesn’t seize when you need it!)
      TMWGITU is The Most Wonderful Girl In The Universe. My wife,

      • EG, Oh, wow! Ok, love it. You’re wife is very lucky. That is very sweet. Every year I’ve always wanted it be absolutely perfect for my kids, and the perfect gift I think I’m getting for them is something they don’t even want. So, I’m slow going this year.

  28. I love that Heat Miser song. But where was he this morning when I went for my run?

  29. I didn’t realise that I had left five comments on this one but I have certainly enjoyed reading everyone’s comments, but El Guapo you have one of the best Spaces that I have seen on WordPress so I am not surprised :)

    Have a ghoulishly excellent rest of weekend my good wicked friend :)


  30. I thought today’s music should have been the Heat Miser/Cold Miser song. Not all holiday music is crappy. haha <3

  31. OHMYYYYY… I WON, I WON, I REALLY WON (sorry gingersnaps – it was too good not to use again!)… that wasn’t bribery, was it, EG? to keep me coming back for more and more and more and… oh, where was I… so I put that picture/eyes thing on my FB gift list… just in case there is a 12/22… I love love love your posts, EG and I can’t believe I was missing such fun for so long. There are thought provoking blogs and there are tell all blogs and the how-to blogs – then there’s yours – I cal it the LOL Capital of the universe!!! And I must always read all the comments, because you do have the cleverest commenters in the universe (CCITU)… I’m hesitant to open your vids before I get through the post and comments cuz I get distracted so easily and began a browsing bonanza on Utube… I saved the Snow/Heat thingy for after I’m done, cuz I’m sure I’ll need some private time after watching it…
    much love and hugs,
    (and thanks for putting it all into one poll comment)!!!

    PS now I have to figure out who was the LOL king/queen for this post – obviously you are grandfathered in :)_ but Andro had me going pretty good, but then so did many others (loved PMAO’s spambunk)… maybe I’ll do a poll… oh wait, no… this is YOUR blog…

  32. You’e HILARIOUS ~
    And yes, most of David Bowie is a bit naughty…. sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp

  33. Um – YOU’RE … I can’t type anymore – my fingers have letter aphasia (and since I’m making it up – about the letters, I don’t need to speeellll aphasia correccctly at awwwl.)

  34. Is it Friday yet El Guapo? :)

    Have a great one and keep
    adding to your wickedness :)


  35. If you enjoy a bit of porno
    then call into my extra pages
    Don’t worry there is a funny
    twist to this request but for
    you to find out what that is…

    You will have to call in to watch
    Have a wicked rest of evening…


  36. Pingback: Friday Foolishness – Beauty Sleep Edition | Guapola

Ahem *best Ricky Ricardo voice* Babble-OOOoooo!!!

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