Friday Foolishness – Sausage Edition


Today’s Music: Lake Street Dive – Elijah

Did you see it? On your calendar? Yes! It’s Friday! At last. And as we say goodbye to the week, here’s a quick look back on some of what I saw…
The Tina once bought a house. Brain Rants had some…interesting words for Congress“.
And since this month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, here are the blogs of two women that have escaped abusive pasts. Nicole Warner and Behind the Mask of Abuse have both moved beyond difficult situations and gone on to thrive. Check out their sites for some great writing, and if you or anyone you know is a victim of Domestic Violence, there is help and support, and no reason you should have to endure that.

I'll take "Mustache Wax vs Chest Hair" for $1.99, Alex.

I’ll take “Mustache Wax vs Chest Hair” for $1.99, Alex.


On a lighter note, there was last week’s poll. Then, we didn’t ask anything. Instead we left it up to you. And as I’ve come to expect, you didn’t disappoint. Here’s what you asked. (As always, my comments are inquisitive in italics.)

Why do the clergy insist on making bacon? Andro
(The grease is an excellent lubricant.)
Why is your pet ostrich so interested in that camel toe? Andro
(Because it makes good shelter from flung monkey poop.)
Why do hobo’s eat sausages out of dumpsters? Andro
(Because no one leaves sausages in their waterbeds anymore. Sadly.)
Why does your girlfriend hold the banana that way? Andro
(It’s not a banana. She’s just happy to see me.)
What brains instead of avocados in the aspic, what gives Mother Teresa?Linda Vernon
(It gives Mother Theresa gas, that’s what.)
If nobody cares, why did Jimmy crack corn? (Frank)
(For the same reasons Froggy went a’ courtin’…)
A sphincter says what? (Who said that?) (Is that two questions?) (Stacy)
(I’d have to check the Congressional Record to find out exactly.)
(And no more Wayne and Garth for you.)

Why are the best tasting foods always the worst for us? -Lily In Canada
(Or in the immortal words of Socrates “This is delicious. Hemlock you say?”)
Why did your accomplice stick that knife in your cake?
(It was self defense, Your Honor. He backed into the knife 72 times.)
Why
(Not)
Mommy, where do babies come from? (UndercoverL)
(Walmart.)
Does a bear s**t in the woods? (UndercoverL)
(Is that a euphemism for our political situation?)
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Benzeknees
(About as many pickled peppers as Peter Piper picks.)
Why are you laughing? thematticuskingdom
(Because I just watched a Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam walk into a bar!)
Where am I? thematticuskingdom
(More importantly, what is that smell?)
Who are you? thematticuskingdom
(Wait – which me are you addressing?)
What time is it?
(HAMMER TIME!!!!)
(*crosses entry off bucket list*)

pmao asks… mmmm?
(I can’t answer, as I’m not sure what you ate…)
Why? Rutabaga
(42)
What is…I didn’t know she was married, Alex? Twindaddy
(Sadly, that question is a Daily Double.)
Why is the Friday Foolishness Quiz guacamole free? Kanerva
(You obviously can’t see the food bits in my keyboard.)
What was the question? Confused Ginger
(Exactly!)
What the hell? Guap Has Snaapped!
(Nono, just “a” hell…)

Congratulations to you all for confusing the hell out of me this week! Seriously, I pulled out hair working on this one. Ok, it was nose hair. And I used a flowbee. But still…
And from the offered choices, the most popular was a tie between BRRRAAAIIIINNNNSSSSS and Because if I put it in my belly button, I’d have to explain it to my parole officer. Which makes perfect sense…to someone…somewhere.
LegislativeSausage
Well, now that I’ve made it through that round, this week I figured I’d go a different way and tap into U.S. current events. With the government shutdown, lots of things are closed, and lots of people are temporarily unemployed.
Sadly, Congressmen still get paid. but if they didn’t what would they do to make money in the interim? That’s what we’re asking. Get your answers in by Wednesday, 9 October, 2359 EDT, because that’s when this one ends. (And if you leave an “Other” answer, leave a way to identify you, and I’ll link back next week.)


So to send us all into a hopefully fun weekend, enjoy these…
Sometimes, Sesame Street is all you need.

And other times, you need the Muppets.

Have a great week, all!

64 responses to “Friday Foolishness – Sausage Edition

  1. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE MUPPETS!! Nothing like a “carve-o-matic” episode to start the day off right!

  2. Muppets are perfect for the current news. Have a good weekend … and heads up … I mentioned you today.

  3. Loved the Sesame street vid and of course Beaker is always a hoot. Thanks for the laughs, Guap and have a good weekend.

  4. I liked the switcheroo this time! Happy Friday, Guapo!

  5. I was expecting Kermit the Frog from Out New Jersey.

  6. Thanks for the mention, Guapo!

  7. The Muppet videos make up for the second week in a row you featured creepy Trebek. Good thing I already liked you, Guap :-)

  8. As always your Friday Foolishness was brilliant and
    very entertaining Guap, indeed it had me chuckling
    straight away with so many jovial questions :) lmao

    And now for…
    The Congress Question
    I think next Friday will
    have some fine results
    but will those nerds be
    back to normal I hear you
    say? Well as normal as
    Nerds can ever be I guess :)

    Have a wicked
    rest of Friday Guap :)

    Andro

    • I’m pretty sure Congress doesn’t have enough cool cred to be nerds.
      At least not like my friends and I did in high school. ;)

      • Yes I know what you mean Guap, there are
        several alternative words we could use to describe
        them but sadly we can’t add them here :( lol

        Thank you for your excellent input on the Creepy
        Halloween Time story, it is much appreciated my
        great friend :)

        Andro

  9. That was crazy funny! Is that a pic of you?? Thank you for the mention :)

  10. Meep…meep, meep, meep, meep, meep. Meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep, meep. Meep meep.

  11. That picture of Alex Trebeck is very disturbing….

  12. “I’d have to check the Congressional Record to find out exactly.”—Ha! Yes, sphincters indeed. You got that one spot on!

  13. I did not make the cut again… I am slipping… I am losing my edge… I think I will go work for Congress… My suggestion to all politicians at this crucial stage in the history of our country is this: Just work on self-improvement… develop a soul… and a spine… and some fucking morality…

  14. Checking out those links now, thanks El Guap!

  15. Ha! I think you should let us come up with the questions every week. I’m still laughing at This is delicious . . . Hemlock you say!”

  16. Stick their heads in the crap that farmers collect from chicken farms around here. That way, they’ll know what it’s like to live downwind from DC! :D
    And technically, 42 isn’t the answer to why. It’s the answer to “Life, The Universe, and Everything”. ;)

  17. Your poll is not working for me. Oh, if only you could clean up my computer!! I bet you’d be horrified by it. It’s been a tough week. Thanks for the muppets!

    • Sorry, I think the poll is affected by the shutdown. :D
      The muppets are often a cure for a rough day.

      Hope you’re having a good and relaxed weekend.

  18. Not only are the questions hilarious but you nailed it on the answers. But, do clergy like bacon or sausage? Hmmm…. What would Mother Theresa say??? Thanks for the laugh!

  19. Sesame Street makes people happy! We need Sesame and not xxx

  20. “I’m gonna make my own America, with blackjack and congress hookers!” ;)
    (Just to be sure, it’s a sort of Bender quote)

  21. Other far less worthy foolishness kept me from reading yours until today. A post that combines pork jokes and Sesame Street gets my vote, unlike those Capitol jackarses. El Guapo for Prez!

  22. I always favored the Muppets over Sesame Street. I was a 3-2-1 Contact & Electric Company Man (Spidey!). Sesame Street seemed foreign to me, because at the time (it’s a little different now), the world depicted in SS was nothing like the one I lived in. As an adult, I’d call it too “New York-y.” (Present company obligates me to add “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”) My kids watched SS for a while (and my youngest still does occasionally), and they’ve gotten a little better about that.

  23. Sausage is ok, but only if it’s andouille. Boudin is just gross. <3

    • Ha! I love that as a Lousianian, you went straight for the sausage critique! I have only a vague knowledge of the different types of sausage.
      (But will begin researching them shortly.)

  24. I love this week’s Improv poll format, Guap! You are really good. It should be called Third City or something. So witty, you man of many talents. BTW, answered the poll this week in deux parts because of the character limitations…. limited character. That was my last boyfriend! But who’s counting…

  25. I think your government is being so irresponsible! Sorry, but it’s the way I feel. I think people’s egos have gotten so big they don’t know how to cooperate anymore – they are more interested in highjacking the current presidency.

    • They are playing to a narrow-minded base, and they are all a bunch of petulant whiney bastards who should be the first against the wall when the revolution comes.

  26. Pingback: Friday Foolishness – Reflective Edition | Guapola

Ahem *best Ricky Ricardo voice* Babble-OOOoooo!!!

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