Able Was I, Ere I Saw Foolishness


Today’s Music: The Feelies – Crazy Rhythms
Days Til Spring: 41

Another long week, but we made it to Friday! And how did we get here? By reading blogs, of course! Here’s some of what I saw… Ericka Clay posted a great piece of fiction that takes place in Brooklyn. Sandy Mitchell wrote the perfect Surfing Metaphor that also works for the rest of life, and Same Burn, Different Flame wrote about the importance of silencing the Little Voices.

Thanks to them, and everyone else for great reading while I was stuck in Canada and all week long.

To be fair, there was no one to stop him when he threw things...

To be fair, there was no one to stop him when he threw things…


Something I didn’t get to see in Canada were the answers to last weeks poll, where we asked what you should throw at coworkers. And wow, looking at the answers now, I’m amazed any work ever gets done! Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are on a coffee break in italics.)

Duck! throw it yell it and you warned em so all good Lizzie C
(It’s like confit-ti!)
a brick. works and you have a moment of daze to duck. Lizzie C
(I should have mentioned I work in a rubber room…)
I say flick boogers. x, Becca (LON)
(HR is going to ask the CDC how to quarantine that.)
snappy comebacks – That One Guy
(Coworkers provide such good source material…)
I throw my voice so he doesn’t know it’s me telling him off. The Sailor’s Woman
(That fern is going to get a bad reputation…)
grenades
(I can see why Bruno Mars broke up with you.)
Why would you need their attention? (Stacy)
(Someone has to know to wake me if the boss comes by.)
some really good one-liners….moments of pure brilliance! polysyllabic profundities
(Brilliance has no place in the workplace!!!)
If I throw something at Cimmy, “Nice catch!” should be what I say next.
(Preferably over your shoulder. While running away.)
I don’t have a coworker. I’m a homesteader.
(Showoff.)
My boss – John Phillips
(Don’t hurt your back lifting his ego.)
Nothing. I send emails. Accountants are to introverted for human interaction.
(How about adding lolcatz to “reply alls”?)
Slingshot balls of flarp. Red.
(I like to do bank shots with flubber.)
death stares. It appears I’m good at that. Or else, mosquitos (alive)! NBI
(Just don’t practice the stare in the mirror…)
Bag ‘O Badgers (pat. pending) and my resignation letter ~Miss R
(That’ll teach the Den of Weasels©!)
Flue virus – that should give a few days of rest for both me and them. (List of X)
(Wait – people use sick days when they’re sick???)
A paperclip that hit her in the eye. I stopped after that. Quirky
(Best to go out on a win!)
I throw non sequiturs like there is no tomorrow
(The bananas are effervescent this morning.)
Awesome super-effective original ideas that will nevertheless be ignored. – Hotspur
(I think I’ve worked in that office…)
foolishness. of course. thematticuskingdom
(Scientists are working hard on an aerodynamic foolishness that does not fall flat. Unlike mine.))
Me? Nothing. The kingdom wizard throws curses at them for me. thematticuskingdom
(I hide behind Betsy from Payroll.)
baseball bat. might be hard to smuggle in library. – aliceatwonderland
(Tell them you’re making Malamud’s The Natural come alive!)
fun facts and trivia that can be shared at parties – calahan
(I like to give minutiae on photocopying body parts.)
“up” Linda Vernon
(It’s all fun and games until it lands…)
From the dust on your keyboard, you could flick a dustball – Benzeknees
(If you mean that one creepy guy in Records, I don’t think that’s dust…)
A curve ball (Elyse 54.5 again)
(SEXUAL HARASSMENT!!!)
Popcorn if you know nobody’s packing heat (Elyse 54.5)
(Or socks! If you know no one is packing bags.)
PMAO says; I like to throw myself at my coworkers… wait… I don’t have coworkers
(So much is clear now…)
Glances which state clearly I’m not you’re team-building-activity buddy – Alex A
(I find not catching them during the falling exercise is much more effective than “glances”.
A paper clip shower. The Bumble Files
(With styrofoam conditioner!)
Deodorant. That dude smells really ripe.
(No, that’s just the hopelessness radiating off him.)
All of my coworkers died in a freak office related “accident” -Lily In Canada
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
another co-worker…so many aerodynamic specimens to choose from…Weenie Girl
(Any excuse to use this picture!)
ill-beat-a-mother
superballs. ummm, that came out sounding weird. – speedo
(And yet, so effective…)
brickhousechick: a confetti of vegan/organic quinoa drenched in pork fat
(The Food Network would like to hire you after you’re fired from that job.)
A collected volume of your blogs~Addie
(Woah! We just want to startle them, not kill them!)
Jelly babies! I know he doesn’t like them so I would get them back! MBT
(Hope he picks off the industrial carpet fibers first…)
Poop. We all need to channel our inner monkey once in awhile. – The Waiting
(*buys raincoat for office*)
My Diet Coke can. Full or empty depends on the amount of rage. Kayjai
(Funny, my tequila bottle has a scale to measure that right on the side.)
Insults – Twindaddy
(Those are best hurled, not thrown.)
gobbets of diseased flesh via catapult – The (Medieval) Mercenary Researcher
(Don’t the other lunch ladies get upset when you throw the meals around?)
Definitely BRRRAAIIIINNNNSSSS (Frank)
(What, and waste mine at work???)
Throw ‘em a bone to go with those braiiins!
(…and that’s how caveman baseball was invented!)
Passive aggressive remarks-Not A Punk Rocker
(I suppose if that’s what you think is best…)

Congratulations to Lily In Canada for this week’s winning answer! And from the offered choices, the most popular was BRRRRAAIIIIINNNSSS!!! (Hey! It works!) So glad to see we’re all using brains at work for something.
Antihero
We loved Walter White. We cheered on Dexter.We wept at the trials of that guy in those viagra commercials.
They all have some things in common: they’re distant. Emotionally unavailable. Ratings getters. Which made those wacky pollsters in Guapberg wonder, who will be the next antihero? Well, that’s this weeks poll.
Answer soon, answer often – but answer by 2359 EST on Wednesday, 12 Feb, because that’s when this one ends. Please don’t go over 3 write-in answers, and if you like, leave an name on your write-ins, and I’ll link back next week.

And before we go back to the daily grind, enjoy this…

Have a great week everyone!

137 responses to “Able Was I, Ere I Saw Foolishness

  1. good god, you nearly made me apply for an office job!

  2. The idea of Aquaman being a grumpy cat is perfect. He’s mocked and maligned so often, I don’t blame him for letting someone drown :-)

  3. You had me at Benedict…

    Actually these are the real anti-heroes.

  4. I somehow missed last week’s poll. Great answers and answers to the answers. That Grumpy League pic is my favorite thing today.

  5. Wait….you were in Canada!!!??? How did I not hear about this! Ugh. I hope your stay in the Great White North was…well, great!

  6. So you left snowy Canada to return home to ummmm, snowy NYC? Perhaps you should have headed further south!

  7. “Stuck” in Canada you say? Might some of our northern friends take exception to that? Don’t you know we live in an era of hyper-sensitivity?

  8. A nice way to start my morning! And agreed, the Grumpy Cat League pic wins the internet today.

  9. Thanks for mentioning my story, El Guapo, and so glad you liked it. We’ve been enjoying having you around Tipsy Lit! <— Randomly likes to use the royal "we."

  10. Grumpy cat makes me smile.

  11. Lily’s answer was pretty awesome and I’m glad you mentioned Brooklyn. Hmmm. I need to think of something worthy of being mentioned in your Friday post.

  12. “Poop. We all need to channel our inner monkey once in awhile. – The Waiting
    (*buys raincoat for office*)” Hahaha! Better hope the office doesn’t undergo an audit or a visit from the bigwigs that day!

  13. I agree with Exile on Pain Street, Me thinks I detect a twinge of distaste for being “stuck in Canada”. But perhaps this bitter snowy cold and the bubbling pride for the Olympics starting has turned me a wee bit sensitive :)

  14. I hope Canada treated you nicely. Was your rental moose to your satisfaction? If not, I am sorry.

    Thanks for the results to the office throwing list. It gave me some ideas that might help me make it through the day. Have an excellent weekend!

    • Fortunately(?) our moose never ran out of gas!
      Canada was a great, fun long weekend for us.

      I have to warn you – the ideas presented in this poll do not come with legal representation.
      But we will all be happy to meet around the water cooler for an after-action report!

  15. Yay! I won! This is like the biggest thing I’ve accomplished all week!

  16. I’m still laughing out loud at “don’t hurt your back lifting his ego” What a delightful Friday Foolishness! I’d write a longer comment but I think my bananas are done effervescing. And Congratulations to Lily, my favorite Canadian!

  17. Happy Friday…sleet, ice – wish it would move on north and get out of here, the palm and tropicals are complaining…at least there’s El Guapo to cheer things up!

    • It’s terrible. Sunny bright view from my office makes me think it’s warm. Until I step outside.
      Seeing a palm tree (even covered in ice) would make me feel good right now…

  18. Pingback: Ketchup With Us #35 – Breaking the Bank | Brain Tomahawk

  19. What happened? I’m at a loss for words . . .

  20. Dick Cheney… I don’t even need to add anything else to that to make it funny

  21. Dennis Rodman. And then all his N Korea antics will suddenly become clear.

  22. That Grumpy cat really cracks me up. How was Canada? Did you stay warm enough? See any of the sights? I must start watching Sherlock…Have a great weekend, Guapo. I feel spring in the air…

  23. I think you are in dire need of a weekend, El G. Enjoy, and try to regain your sanity. :)

  24. Benedict Cumberbatch – what a name – say it slowly – let the vowels roll around your mouth as you,utter it. Who would call their spawn Benedict?

  25. You make my Fridays sparkle.

  26. Have a great weekend, Guap! I have nothing clever or even stupid to add here… it’s all been taken care of :)

  27. Whoa! That was a lot being thrown at coworkers! How appropriate to have Lily from Canada win! Was this fixed? Did she pay you when you were in Canada?? :)

    • I’m sorry, I can’t reveal any of the behind the scenes events that influence the judging.

      But I can say that her skills as The Moose Whisperer were very impressive.
      And timely after the local wildlife ran our car off the road. ;)

  28. I’d love to hear how your trip was……can we make you an honorary Canadian??

  29. A successful anti-hero would have to be really good at whatever he does. I’m imagining a highly-skilled, acerbic plumber. He’d be sort of like Dr. House, always accusing his clients of lying about what they flushed down their toilets or whether they put potato peels in their garbage disposals.

    • It would be worth it just to see his sneering disdain as he pulled out a child-size ball of hair from the drain to save the day in the nick of time!

      (Why yes, I do need to get out more…)

  30. Mine was the muncher comment. What a POS.

  31. Whoa! This made my head spin… in a good way! Really fun. I saw Lyle Lovette and John Hyatt on the final night of their tour, in WA. Brilliant! The Brooklyn piece was great… now I have to go check out all the links I missed. Now that I know Prince won’t get your attention, I’ll have to figure out what will. This is group worth winning a place in. :-D Thanks for sharing all the fun. oh! Where in Canada, and why? If you say Vancouver, I’ll be very sad. It’s an hour away… it could have been one more blogger meet and greet. ;-)

    • We were in the Canadian East – Montreal and Ottawa.
      Vancouver/British Columbia is on my list of places to see, so we may get to meet at some point after all.
      (And if you ever come to nyc…)

  32. The next great anti-hero is Jesse Eisenberg – for getting casted to play Lex Luthor. This casting decision has already caused immeasurable pain and suffering to millions of Superman fans.

  33. I LOVE this list. My favourite must be “another co-worker…so many aerodynamic specimens to choose from…Weenie Girl”. The next anti-hero… So many to choose from, sadly.

  34. Reblogged this on kraftycatcreations and commented:
    I really enjoyed the answers to the contest created by El Guapo. If you need a chuckle (and who doesn’t?) go for it!

  35. Always a pleasure to read your Friday posts! (Glad you enjoyed your trip to Canada!)

  36. Hey, how can you be stuck in Canada? It’s impossible. This is the place to be, my man. We have snow. And more snow. And ice.

    • To be fair, it was NYCs fault we were stuck in Canada.
      Our airports closed.
      (The hotel staff in Ottawa was laughing at us.)
      (Good naturedly, but still…)

      • Hey, I’m from Ottawa, or at least lived there for many years. The snowiest, coldest place ever, seriously. I feel for you. Hope you got back to NYC ok – all things considered, I’d rather be there.

        • NYC is just as cold. But you handle snow better.

          • Guapo. I am too drunk to read your response at the moment. I am thinking of sliding down my desk and hopefully ripping a nipple. Is this wise? I have turned into a mean rapping machine at PMAO epic record-breaking comment thread party. Nipples may be ripped.

            But seriously, or something, I love NYC. I must open office there.

  37. I love grumpy cat! So much on this blog to see. I’m glad I joined the party even if I’m a little late ;)

  38. Ahhhh, you make me pine for my days of working in an office. It was long enough ago that being PC was never a consideration. We were out of control. Thank you for the up-tempo music today. I think I just threw my neck out. :-)

  39. I’m printing out this list and taking it to work with me tomorrow.

  40. I love Grumpy Cat, but that Mo-Fo pic is priceless! Hmmmm, wonder if I can steal that for Words?

    Looking at fog and ice out my window. Out my Texas window. So ready for Spring. It’s 24 F right now, but Sunday we’re supposed to hit 75. I’ll believe it when I see it.

    Hope you have a great week, Guap!

  41. Way to go, El Guapo (see the rhyming there?) I am not nearly as witty as everyone else. Now I’m depressed. Are you happy now? Glad you made it back from Canada without becoming a Bieber-clone. Yo.

  42. A great posting with equally awesome comments, I always enjoy reading everyone’s ideas and adding a few for myself, so I must apologise for my absence on this one Guap, I will be making up for the outrage over the coming weeks and months though so get ready for my bizarre notions and crumby thoughts :) :)

    Have a wicked Wednesday Guap :)

    Andro

  43. Pingback: Frankly my dear, I don’t give a Foolishness. | Guapola

  44. How’d I miss this? Oh wait, I know how. You went north, I went south, to Atlanta to watch my 19 month-old nephew while his parents went off to Vegas. I’m obviously not the smart aunt in the family. The grumpy cat rules!

Ahem *best Ricky Ricardo voice* Babble-OOOoooo!!!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s