Somewhere, Over The Foolishness…


Today’s Music: Slim Harpo – I’m A King Bee
Days Til Spring: SIX!!!
And if you can, please help out Merbear.===========================>>>

Welcome to the last Foolishness before Spring begins. And what a week it was – the warm! The cold! The office shennanigans! How can one survive such madness? Why, by taking refuge in the ‘sphere, of course. Here’s some of what I saw…
Sharp Little Pencil wrote out her Mainfesto (in poetry form, of course). Anja wrote a great freeverse about Ego, and John Phillips put this winter in Perspective

Seriously, if I didn’t get to read them and all the rest of you, I’d have probably run for the hills after this week, so thanks!
Mankini
Last week I asked for a different form of perspective – yours, on how you prepare for bikini season. And while none of you have body issues, that isn’t to say you are issue free. Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are sun-kissed in italics.)

doing yoga and praying – Curvyroads
(I’m praying I don’t have to yoga.)
Drinking, smoking and thinking impure thoughts. (Mollytopia)
(So…nothing special then…)
applying for my bikini hunting license. – calahan
(Remember, it’s “catch and release”. Not “release the clasp”.)
covering up. No one wants to see a monster truck tire on thunder struts. JakLumen
(You should model that in the Deep South…)
Ignoring the bikini mandate and eating lots of pasta. -PLS
(Bowtie pasta is known for its classic hourglass shape.)
Studying for the “Official Inspector” certification exam. BT
(It’s the hands-on inspections that get you in trouble.)
making a Rainbow Loom swimsuit ~whatimeant2say
(Not Fruit of the Loom?)
drinking ALL the beers! (Words & Other Things)
(Too late! *gulp*)
Dreaming of winter! (Stacy)
(Nightmare.)
Going on a liquid-only diet. Beer me! – Erin E.
(Blogger, me!)
hot wax, sunscreen and gin, not necessarily in that order.The Sailor’s Woman
(Wait – you don’t drink them all at once???)
Not eating carbs. (hypothetically)
(There are some fine vegetable liquors. (perhaps…)
Installing a few wicked Apps, I just hope I won’t be late… Andro
(Smartphones can kill?!?)
Slapping a few choice asses, bend over girls… Andro
(Pretty sure they’ll slap back. Hard. Perhaps with shovels.)
Removing as many as I can, when it happens… Andro
(I’m guessing that’s one before the cops show up…)
A million burpees! Amy
(I draw the line at seven hundred fifty thousand and eight.)
completely ignoring it! – Benzeknees
(Ask not for who the bikini bares. It bares for me, not thee.)
wiki searching “bikini.” thematticuskingdom
(Hey, if you have to ask…)
guzzling beer so I’m too drunk to go to the beach. thematticuskingdom
(The Hawaiian Tropic girls will be so disappointed!)
nothing. I live in CA – it’s always bikini season. thematticuskingdom
(I don’t think it counts as a season if it’s all the time…)
buying protective eyewear. (MizYank)
(A sleep mask might be the only way to avoid the horror!)
Bikini? ja,ja,ja! My skirted suit might see the daylight… someday.brickhousechick
(A long swimsuit! Leaving even MORE to the imagination!)
Um, it’s called a Burkini. Maggie
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
finishing this tub of ice cream – Twindaddy
(I don’t think that kind of oil protects from sunburn…)
digging a very deep hole. Elyse 54.5
(Much like me, in these comments.)
Moving to the Arctic for the season.~~Addie
(There are those who say that will be the warmest habitable continent soon…)
Getting ready?!? This body was born ready for the bikini season -Marie Nicole ;)
(They make bikini onesies?)
Consuming prunes and imported Mexican tap water to get to my birth weight
(And it will go through you as fast as baby food did back then!)
shaving my back…sooo hard to reach..(SnB)
(Maybe your barber will give a volume discount?)
collecting yellow polka dots. sandylikeabeach
(Can you fit more than six on that teeny thing?)
There’s a bikini season?! That must be the one warm day we have. Kayjai
(I thought I saw Rob Ford in one the other day.)
shaving my eyebrows off (Rutabaga)
(I’ll just be trimming my ear hair.)

Congratulations to Maggie for her modesty! And from the offered choices, the most popular, by a wide margin, was Lobbying to bring back the swimsuits of the 30s. The long ones. So congrats to all of you you too. Unless your modesty precludes you from accepting?
snowed-in-car
This week is Winter’s last one on the calendar til the bottom of the year. So, lets send it off in style, feeling good about itself. Offer as many well wishes for Winter as you like, but offer them by 2359 EDT, Tuesday 18 March, because that’s when this one closes.
Try and keep yourself to three Other answers if you do write-ins, and if you do leave an Other, add a way to recognize you at the end, and I’ll link back to you next week.


And until we meet again, enjoy this…
This one always makes me laugh, so I thought I’d use it again

Have a great week, y’all!

122 responses to “Somewhere, Over The Foolishness…

  1. Thank you sir….virtual dad…..I think I need to write an Ode to Pink Himalayan Salt.

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    • Loved the way that post flowed.

      Van Gogh may have thought about painting Pink Himalayan Salt.
      But wouldn’t have considered himself up to the challenge.

      Like

  2. Man, this is a funny group of people… but the one thing I know is that I love/hate Matticus. Grrrr…. always bikini season… chugging beer… I’m going to write him a message he can see from California… in the snow… the pure white pristine snow…

    So this week, my company merged with an Australian firm. That boat/front fell off video made the rounds like hotfire as a result, funniest thing ever… it’s not in the environment anymore… sheesh.

    Thanks for the photo and the Rob Ford mention… I needed some good nightmares.

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    • Make sure you use a…yellow font.
      It will show better on the sattelite image.

      (I think Matticus just uses it as justification to wear his mankini year round.)

      I hope your merger is cause for celebration. We bought twice in the recent past, and they’re just now starting to consider workflow integration.
      Fun times.

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      • Ah yes, the yellow font with the thick lines… You hear that, Matticus?

        I hope it is too. We just tripled in total revenue because of this, pure share swap deal (little or no cash). You might laugh (I think maybe you’re in financial sector, so used to really big numbers) but we’re now 1.5 billion/year. And I get access to global markets and the like. It seems like the right thing to do, but the devil’s in the details and how well the integration is handled and conflict of interest situations (we used to compete against each other) are resolved. Fun times indeed. Yesterday someone handed me a partial differential equation to describe how the revenue situation will affect the share price going ahead, and asked me to rationalize it… I seriously hate math, and think I need a new job. Anyway, no biggee, it’s just work.

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    • I asked the Queen about house swapping and she was game until she found out exactly how cold you get up there… then she decided perhaps our non-winter wasn’t too bad after all.
      I still think it sucks.
      We had one “winter” week this year… One. The rest of the time it’s been in the 70′s and 80′s (f). Gross. I didn’t even get to visit the snow as often as I normally would.
      Happily awaiting your snow scrawled message. I bet it’s going to say, “Come on up for a visit.”

      Like

    • Why don’t you make it yellow snow?!

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  3. These are too funny! I keep missing your question posts…must pay more attention!
    I also woke the house laughing at “The Front Fell Off.”
    Happy Friday!!!

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    • That video is years old – I first saw it way back when, and it still gets a laugh out of me every single time.
      Good morning, and glad you enjoyed it!

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  4. That’s a great video.

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  5. You were outside the building this morning. Does that feel like SIX!!! days until Spring? Who are you trying to fool? Us or just yourself? Worst case of denial EVER.

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  6. Ah….I needed this today. Thanks for the smile. :)

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  7. Burkini sounds like just the thing for me. Thanks to you and Maggie for making my beach dreams a reality again.

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  8. The front fell off?
    I just looked down.
    Oh, geez……

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  9. NO SPRING! NO SPRING! Let’s go BACKWARDS and have a winter re-do.

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  10. I’m starting to think you lied about the palm tree being shaved into your chest…you know if there aren’t pics it didn’t happen, right?

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  11. I have to say I work better during the winter, because I don’t want to go out when it’s raining. Now I’m completely wasting my time on sitting in the sun with beer. Which I really enjoy though :D.

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  12. ah…burkini – that gives me hope. :-)

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  13. Gosh, I hope no other fronts fell off 8O :lol:

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  14. ah, you made my day. i REALLY needed a chortle. actually, you made my year….keep going (no pressure)

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  15. I will miss absolutely nothing about winter. N-O-T-H-I-N-G.
    Well, okay, maybe just the super cute boots I bought at DSW.

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  16. Why all the scantily clad men nowadays. I must stop reading your blog at work in view of the office ;-)

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  17. My eyes! My eyes!!!! The image of that heinous swimsuit has scorched my retinas.

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  18. Six days ’till Spring????? Really? Promise??? Should I ignore the pending storm next week – Carajo! Those answers were hilarious! Congrats to Maggie.

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  19. Loved the video. Hilarious! :D In your Polldaddy vote, you missed out “Being made fun of by Florida.” I was looking online to find out what that strange white swim costume is called, but all I could find was an ad which said, “Find the best selection of men’s swimwear at DICK’S Sporting Goods.” :oops:

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    • Ha! I searched for “mankini” if you really want to see more of those horrors.

      (I didn’t add the florida choice because I didn’t want to put you on the spot.) ;)

      Like

  20. I hope you and Ruta have a wonderful time hair-grooming this weekend…

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  21. Once again I did not make the cut… so I am going to get one of those banana hammock things like that guy is wearing, and parade around until you notice me…

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  22. I think my vote got cut off… I am going to miss doing all those posts of sunsets and blue sky and flowers in San Diego that I do solely to drive people who live where it snows crazy.

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  23. Love Sandy’s answer!

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  24. I only hope the front doesn’t fall off my burkini! Okay you’ll have to excuse me now, I have to go watch the door. I’ve always wanted to see winter’s ass.

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  25. whiteladyinthehood

    Have a good weekend, Guapo! (I hope you get some warm sunny weather soon!)

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  26. I hadn’t seen The Front Fell Off before – hilarious! A bit of Aussie humour goes a long way ;)

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  27. I know you love winter, Guap. You’re just too stubborn to admit it. <3

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  28. OMG – that’s the second time in a week I heard the phrase “banana hammock.” Mollytopia tweeted that it was the number one search term for her blog.
    I thought it was a pervy ride at a sex club. Then Arden told me it was a Speedo. And now Art has confirmed it. But it’s kind of a disturbing visual.

    Drat! I keep forgetting to submit answers to the poll! I need to set an alarm on my phone or something…

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    • “Banana hammock” must be another gay slang term, along with G-strings being referred to as “meatslingers”. Oh right, meatslinger was last week with Jungle Boy.

      I thought the formal name for the piece was “slingshot”.

      I don’t get it. Both, when on women, is applauded. Both, when on men, is “scary”.

      Like

    • Sound like the universe is trying to send you a message…

      (Quick! Change your number!) ;)

      Like

  29. My eyes hurt from that damn picture!

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  30. That photo is frightening, Guapo. I’m not sure I can get past it. Oh, our winter, as you know, was too warm. Sorry…spring is on its way. What will you do on the first day of spring? Are you planning to go canoeing? Surfing? Hope it’s something fun. Enjoy!

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    • I thought Sasha Baron Cohen wearing a “mankini” slingshot was the worst.

      I was apparently so, so, wrong after seeing this image here.

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    • If you do manage to forget the picture, I have a pic of a very hairy gentleman is assless chaps, if you like. :D
      I’ll be at work the first day of Spring, but I’ll take a few minutes to just go outside and (hopefully) enjoy it.

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      • Ha ha…oh pass, Guap! I’m still recovering with the last photo. I hope you can step outside for a minute on the first day of spring! I hope it’s nice out.

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  31. I loved The Front Fell Off — classic! Thanks, Guap. Have a good weekend and I’ll see ya around the ‘sphere!

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  32. Great answers to last week’s poll. Still grinning. Speaking of unusual facial expressions, and who isn’t, I’d never seen that video clip. Holy Scheiße, that was too funny. It made my front fall off.
    No wait. It was going bra-less that did that.
    Stupid gravity.
    Great piece to begin the weekend my friend. Gracias!

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  33. Dear lord….a mankind and the front fell off…..I’m still smiling….

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  34. “Burkini” was brilliant! I’ve enjoyed the foolishness ever since I started following you, but I especially loved it this winter. We needed it! Oh, and thanks for “The front fell off,” which was new to me. Hilarious!

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  35. Thanks for the shout out. Been delinquent lately. Way to much fun this year. Great snow year in the mountains.

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  36. I know, late as per usual but what a laugh I have had reading through these comments, I always enjoy my visits into your Space Guap :) These Friday foolishness posts rock :)

    And now onto the next :)

    Have a great start to your Monday my great friend and keep up the awesome blogging around here, everyone has fun in your Space :)

    Andro

    Like

  37. Pingback: Monday Link Encyclopedia and Self-Promotion | Clarissa's Blog

  38. The bare white man thighs have blinded me!

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  39. That bikini makes last night’s episode of “Walking Dead” look like a Jimmy Fallon skit. Yikes! As for our Canadian neighbors, I’m not ready to forgive them just yet. They tried stealing bacon from us!
    PS- That video is priceless.

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  40. Hahaha, the “front fell off”!!!

    Your comments back to our answers are even funnier than the answers.

    And dang it, I missed the poll deadline AGAIN…

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  41. Hey Guapo! I’m enjoying the music. I’m with your other CA folks. It’s always pretty warm here, but I did sit out in mine for a few minutes. Of course, my skin is turning to leather. Yikes! :)

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  42. Missed the poll this week! My bad! I’m really struggling with Kelvin home all the time – I don’t get enough alone time for reading. After almost a week of warm temps we got fresh snow & cooler temps today – it’ll probably be gone by the end of the weekend. Loved the clip about the front of the boat falling off – sounds like our politicians here. Our premier resigned last night.

    Like

  43. Pingback: When life gives you lemons, make Foolishness!(ade.) | Guapola

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