You Can’t Always Get What You Foolishness


Today’s Music: The Whigs – Waiting

Why hello there. Welcome to Friday. Hope you all had a good trip. My days this week were at turns productive, frustrating and filled with ennui. Fortunately, there were some plenty of blog posts to keep me company on the way. Here’s some of what I read…
Rollergiraffe told a great story about how her extended family deals with Autism. DHonour wrote a beautiful piece to about her second son on his Sixth Birthday, and KBerrios explained Expressing Yourself to a young boy.

Great stuff all around, from them and everyone else!
hoarder
Last week, the polls were a’flutter with the question “what do you do with your extra stuff“? And judging from your answers, you’ve hoarded a lot of thoughts on this topic. Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are a messy pile of italics.)

A charity dedicated to helping stars of the show Hoarders – Curvyroads
(Maybe it can be administered by U-Haul?)
My hips, apparently. That’s gotta be why they tripled in size. (Miz Yank)
(My hips don’t lie. They would honestly like another slice of pizza.)
Maybe be like grandparents. Hoard until dead and let others deal. Quirky
(It’s all those meals you wouldn’t let them feed you…)
A company that will recycle it into Hawaiian shirts!! Polysyllabic Profundities
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
The attic. And I don’t have to deal with it until all falls through the ceiling.
(I hope you didn’t just jinx it…)
…”all falls through the ceiling.” (List of X)
(Should have hoarded some load-bearing beams….)
flea market – cha-ching! (Stacy)
(Careful – fleas are renowned for their haggling.)
The Human Fund. The Sailor’s Woman
(If you give them even a scrap, they’ll follow you around forever.)
There’s a hidden vortex on my lawn. I put my stuff out, and it’s gone by noon.
(You’ve been dumping freezing cold in that vortex, haven’t you.)
(I can tell you where it’s been going.)
(Hmph.)

Using it to hide from zombies sounds good. At last a reason! Elyse 54.5
(If you make the zombies dig through that stuff, it’ll cost you an arm and a leg.)
To needy sexy people!
(But I don’t want it!!!)
Extra???I have nothing as EXTRA!(Although my mom seems to disagree)Life Confusions
(Oh, Mama Confusions, where did you go wrong???)
ME of course, who else? Puft! Life Confusions
(I’m not sure you understood the question…)
nobody. I hoard, hoard, hoard. jaklumen
(Maybe donate it, to the lord, lord, lord?)
(Or throw it in the river, near the fjord, fjord, fjord!)

It joins the missing socks from the laundry-(Zoe)
(Why are you stashing your stuff in the washing machine???)
Zoe-I eat some,pack some, wear some,sleep in some,mow the lawn,bbq,clean up poop
(Wow, that’s versatile! Is all your stuff a Swiss Army Knife?)
Let’s trade. You take mine. I’ll take yours. -Penny Lane Seriously
(UPS (United Psychology Service) wants hazard pay to transport my stuff.)
my hips, where else? Benzeknees
(I really don’t think there’s a safe way for me to reply to this…)
You spelled stuph wrong… Twindaddy
(Sorry – my speak n spell was buried under the old betamax tapes.)
The dumpster my husband keeps threatening/promising to rent. Susie Lindau
(Mine are only used for the bodies…)
that depends on what your definition of “extra” is. thematticuskingdom
(I DID NOT HAVE RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMAN!!! Sorry, what was the question?)
my local black hole: the attic. thematticuskingdom
(Your attic is Congress???)
flowers, long time passing. thematticuskingdom
(Sounds like you’ve sown the seeds of discontent.)
I don’t have extra stuff, or much stuff at all. Send it my way!
(What, and ruin your Zen groove?)
Uranus….or someone’s anus – Rutabaga
(Is that storage charged by weight or volume?)
… the previous polls muffin (Frank)
(At this point, it’s probably a crouton.)

Congratulations to Polysyllabic Profundities for this weeks winning answer, and thinking outside the (storage) box! And from the offered choices, the most popular was NOWHERE! IT’S MINE, DO YOU HEAR ME?!?! MINE!!!!!!, so congrats to all of you who really need to cut down on the caffeine.
RealityTV
This week, the unbridled polling collective stands in solidarity with Alice At Wonderland in her battle against the forces of Big GIF. Beknownst to all, Alice is a huge TLC Reality Show addict – Sex Sent Me To The ER, My Crazy Obsession, Untold Stories of the ER. But sometimes it’s not enough.
So this time around, we’re asking what the next great reality show should be.
Answer often, but answer soon, because this one closes at 2359 EDT on Tuesday, 8 April. Try and keep yourself to three Other answers if you do write-ins, and if you do leave an Other, add a way to recognize you at the end, and I’ll link back to you next week.


And until next time, enjoy something bizarrely awkward.

Have a great week, y’all!

134 responses to “You Can’t Always Get What You Foolishness

  1. I can’t improve upon the Real Houseplants of Duluth. Great stuff, as usual!

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  2. Happy Friday, Guapo. As someone who has no tv, I can’t weigh in. Alice is awesome in the fact that she endures pain for the rest of us.

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  3. Good song to send us into the weekend … but I find your polls to be difficult.

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  4. do you think hell has reality tv shows 24/7 or Nollywood movies?

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  5. “ennui” [chuckle]

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  6. More Hawai shirts, MORRRREE! ;)

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  7. Do you mock the Dark Lord of the GIF, Guap??

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  8. Whoops, forgot to put my name on the poll! Maybe your powers of deduction will spot which one it is. My challenge to you.

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  9. Didn’t Gore write about the Housewives of Duluth already? THIEF! HOOLIGAN!

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  10. Have to admit, reading these responses before I begin working on a Friday is always a smooth, entertaining transition. :)

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  11. That clip was great. Loved it. And Matt Damon’s not so bad either…

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  12. I love that you are a New Yorker who says “y’all.”
    Or wait. Maybe you only write it.
    I still love that you are a New Yorker who writes ” y’all.”
    Happy Friday! RoS

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  13. Pingback: Blog War I: Victory is Alice | aliceatwonderland

  14. The Things suggested a couple of good ones, though I really like “I was a teenaged teenager.” Thank ye for the mention and for awarding me victory. I also asked for best new reality show name so between us I’m sure we can come up with an awesome list. I will leave you to film the pilot. :D

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  15. “I can get it in this far”, followed by the look on Damon’s face… made my morning. :-)

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  16. I would definitely watch a show about people work as mascots. Whatever happened to the Hamburglar?

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  17. Stellar responses this week, Guapo, from you and your readers! :D My favorite was:

    “that depends on what your definition of “extra” is. thematticuskingdom
    (I DID NOT HAVE RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMAN!!! Sorry, what was the question?)”

    By the way, I think you meant to say the poll ends 8 APRIL, not March. :)

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  18. Chalk up win number one for this kid…..whoo hoo!! :D Thanks Guap! I think I should leave work early to celebrate.

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  19. Are those two women on the video meant to be funny?

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  20. Yeah, I keep Congress in my Attic. Helping regulate the temperature of my house as insulation is the most useful thing they’ve done in years…

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  21. Have a great weekend Guapola!

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  22. I love that you put Matt Damon on your site. He’s cute, too. Squeeee! Have a great weekend, Guap.

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  23. Thanks for the shout-out Guap! I think we spiritually had the same week.. ennui (I love that word), frustration and productivity were my keywords too. But, it’s still spring, right? We have that going for us.

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  24. Bawhwhaha, damn these are funneh!

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  25. Is the GIF battle over how to pronounce it? That will ruin the best of alliances.

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  26. Real Houseplants of Deluth – ha,ha,ha,ha!!! I am sitting at a Campus Center at one of the colleges my daughter has been accepted to as she shadows a student and I laughed out loud reading this post – so college kids are staring at me and wondering who this “grandma” is hanging out at their school laughing to herself. :) I can always found on you to crack me up!

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  27. a show about me… trying to get on this blog…

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  28. I have no speakers … I can’t believe I am “foolish” enough to read your post here at work with no speakers …

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  29. Wit! Sarcasm! And rhymes! And of course, another awesome title. Sorry I missed this poll, I couldn’t find it under all the other emails. But the answers were foolishly perfect, as ever. xx

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  30. PS HILARIOUS vid!

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  31. I came up with a good ‘un for next week’s poll! I smell a winner! (wait, WHAT IS THAT SMELL?)

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  32. Ha, so funny all around. Have I mentioned how much I love this series? :D

    And the *Matt Damon experience*, I howled. Have a great weekend, Guap!

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  33. As someone who is making a comment on your blog, I can verify that your blog has content, and people really seem to view that content. So, you know, well done! For that! Not everyone can say that.

    Well, everyone can say that, naturally, but not everyone actually does it.

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  34. I’m always the last one to the party…why is that?

    That was a great clip – where do you find these things? I’m assuming these girls have a regular thing going on – they are hi-larious!
    Have a great weekend- this week, I WILL REMEMBER THE POLL!!

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    • No, Samara…I’m the last one! I that THIS would make you feel better! Have a great weekend, Samara. Those girls are funny. I think I could even subscribe!

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    • You take “fashionably late” to it’s logical extreme.
      They have a youtube channel called Live Prude Girls. I sumbled across it and watched a whole bunch of these before pulling the one above.

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  35. Samara…I’m the last one to the party. I’ll tell her. It will make her feel better! That clip was hilarious! And, Hawaiian shirts…yes, perfect. We all need more of those. Reality shows, I’ll admit I don’t watch many as of late. I’m sure I can up with something bizarre and worthless. Have a most excellent weekend, Guapo!

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    • Perhaps a reality show on people whose lives were changed by Hawaiian shirts?
      We could get the rum distillers to sponsor it.
      Enjoy the rest of your weekend, Amy!

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  36. So I’m really the last one, just so you know.

    Ah, reality shows. This week I’ll be participating, promise, although it would be hard to beat I was a Teen-aged Teenager. For realz, yo.

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    • I’d have a contest to see who could comment last, but then I’d worry that everyone would wait and no one would comment.
      Looking forward to seeing your answer!

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  37. Congratulations to the winner (well done, Susan!) :D

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  38. Laughed at the video! (but great message) We just finished a fundraiser to support “Clean Water Around the World.” It was a big hit. Have a great weekend.

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    • That’s great! It’s a shame that there are so many good causes vying for our attention. It would be nice if we could actually fix some of the problems…

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  39. I’ve had a week of ennui, too, Guap. I learned that, though my place of habitation is a dream come true, people still are people. I tire of their duplicity. <3

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    • Sadly, there’s no cure for that. Best you can do is let it just roll off you.
      Still, at least you get to be in the place of your dreams while you deal with them!

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      • Wiser words were never before written. Your blog is one of those places I visit because it’s genuine. xo (I’m using xo now to send love into cyberspace instead of <3 because <3 is too in-your-face.)

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        • Regardless of why I started a blog (book deal/sponsorship, of course), meeting people like you has been the best most rewarding part of this.

          /end sappiness

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  40. LOL. That was extremely awkward. “The Matt Damon Experience”, bahahahaha.

    Hope you have a great week, Guap!

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  41. Love the Matt Damon video, Guap. We’ve been watching a lot of those Live Prude Girls lately. I stumbled onto them a few weeks ago while surfing YouTube, and I find them intelligent and very funny.

    I’ll go back and do the foolishness poll now.

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  42. “Ennui”…You do know there’s an app for that…

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  43. This makes me so thankful I don’t have an attic haha!

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  44. I love your blog. Where all the sexy needy people hang out (in recycled Hawaiian shirts of course!)

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    • I think the sexy needy people are an under-served demographic.
      I’m just glad to be able to give them some support.
      And heavy bathrobes so they are less distracting.

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  45. That video is some kinda hotness. And those gals? They ain’t bad either . . .

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  46. Pingback: And Goodnight, Mrs. Foolishness, Wherever You Are! | Guapola

  47. Hahahahaha… I’ve been following Matt Damon’s collaborations with YouTubers on the Water DOT org project and this one did not disappoint; very hilarious as well. Awkward, yes. Hilarious, yes. All brilliant ways to spread the message? Yes! Talk like Yoda I will, now? Yes!

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  48. LOL @ Real Houseplants of Duluth *snorks* That is pure brilliance!

    Love the video at the end. Matt Damon is an awesome sport. :)

    ML
    x

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Ahem *best Ricky Ricardo voice* Babble-OOOoooo!!!

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