Friday Fictioneers: Magic


Today’s Music: Edwin Star – War

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Every week, Rochelle Wisoff Fields posts a photo, and challenges her readers to write 100 words (ish) inspired by the picture. This week’s picture is from D. Lovering at 40 Again, and it’s followed by a story exactly 100 words long, with a beginning, a middle and an end.
(I figured since it’s my first time, I should follow the rules.)
Click over to her site to read some other great entries, and maybe leave your own!

They entered the canopy and the air smelled cleaner, the laughter of children around the square louder and more vibrant.
The man in the suit turned to their guide.
“Odd decoration for the entrance to a missile defense, isn’t it?”
The guide smiled. “No entrance. This is it.” He whipped out a handgun, pointing it at the man, who barely had time to cringe before the trigger was pulled.
The bullet dribbled from the barrel, bouncing harmlessly off the pavement.
“H-how…?” sputtered the man in the suit.
“The magic of the Maypole”, answered the guide. “Don’t you believe in magic?

All criticism is welcome. Hell, since you’re reading, it’s in your interest to help me write better. ;)

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139 responses to “Friday Fictioneers: Magic

  1. Didn’t see that comin’, nice one Guap.

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  2. Frightening where some peoples minds go :D
    …yet so enjoyable

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  3. Nothing to criticize it rocks!

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  4. I went from The Matrix to Alice in Wonderland in a 100 words and it was a smooth albeit surprising ride. Nicely done.

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  5. I couldn’t write a story in 100 words if I had a gym to my head. Well done!

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  6. It’s hard to write a story in so few words, but you nailed it!

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  7. Great story. It’s amazing where the mind will go in a few words.

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  8. I believe in magic, Guapisimo! You can shoot me by the Maypole anytime! Nice story. I’m sure it was harder than it looks to keep it at 100 words!

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  9. Guapo, you did it! Yay! You make this look easy. You’re a pro at this. Intricate, unique take. I was not sure how you would get magic out of a defense missile, but you did it with flying maypole colors. This is great!

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  10. Mmmm… Maypole syrup. [drool]

    Guap, I would not have thought along those lines for a story to go with this picture, but that’s why you’re a creative, prolific writer and I’m just, ahh… doing what I do over here. Seriously, you’re GOOD!

    I’ll have to go check the other submissions and see what more creative people have come up with.

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    • Gah! Maypole syrup never even occurred to me!
      I’ve read a bunch of the writers on previous entries for this. They’re really a talented group.

      And I enjoy the hell out of what you do.

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  11. Constrictive literature madness! By the way, nicely done. I am wondering where the pole went. Wait… don’t answer that.

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    • I think I’ll stand here with an enigmatic writerly smile instead of saying I didn’t even notice notice there was no pole.
      Yes. Enigmatic smile is definitely the way to go.

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  12. Well done. I didn’t see that end coming! :D

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  13. Fun! And super odd! I so love creative folk. Great idea and great story (Help you write better? Silly man).

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  14. Had to read it twice– this feels like something I would dream, where I’d be trying to shoot someone and it would just fall to the ground a la The Matrix.
    Not that I dream about shooting people.
    Okay, only bad people.

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  15. I thought it was the hull of a ship to start with. Perhaps make use of the Spanish Flag. Nice to think of a bullet dribbling though! Well done, not a word wasted

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  16. Criticism? What criticism? Isn’t everything you write perfection? If not, why am I still reading?
    No, seriously, I didn’t see this coming! I like it :)

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    • Thanks NBI!
      The only perfection in my writing is that i consistently use letters only from the English alphabet.
      (No extra “u”s in my words though.)

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  17. Great story….I love the twist at the end. Well done!

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  18. Wow… that was a twist ! =) Very nice, love the dribbling casing… =)

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    • Thanks! It was the fastest way I could see to demonstrate the magic.
      Though I didn’t even make the Matrix connection so many readers did.
      (I think I owe the Wachowski’s a credit…)

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  19. Short on words + Twists & turns + Surprises = BRAVO! … and thanks for Edwin Starr!

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  20. Nice, Guap! I liked how your piece ended with a question–left my mind to wonder. Well done.

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  21. When I first saw the headline, I panicked and thought “It’s Friday? I thought it was Thursday. Did I lose a day?” ( I’m still on some strong meds from last week’s hospital stay.)

    I liked the story!

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    • Thanks! I have that same problem with Friday Fictioneers. These posts pop into my mailbox all week long, and I just get confused.

      Hope the need for the meds is fading, and you’ll be all better soon.

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  22. Well done, Guap.

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  23. I like it! Especially the “magic”. Very creative. :-)

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  24. Since I’m still reading through the filter of pain meds, this makes perfect sense to me. Write on!

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  25. Oh, this was really interesting! Nice twist at the end…pretty unique!

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  26. Loved it… It is not easy to capture magic in that small of a story…

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  27. If only. That’s such a good story. Well done.

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  28. Great imagination! It’s something I admire, but lack, which relegates me to the lonely world of nonfiction humor writing.

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  29. I don’t know how you got so much story into only 100 words. I definitely want more details, but I guess that would defeat the purpose, huh? I really enjoy the abrupt change from realistic to fantastical and totally unexpected!

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  30. I can’t believe I can say this, but “He’s still standing, El Guapo.” Hahaha! Reminds me a bit of the cone of silence on “Get Smart” only this one works.

    janet

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  31. Bravo! Welcome to FF! It’s fun to see you jump in and come up with such a creative story. You’ll see, this is very addictive. No surprise… you have more comments than anyone else! What a way to make an entrance. ;-)

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  32. I’m awestruck… I love how you set the scene with the air smelling cleaner and the vibrant laughter of the children. To be able to transport someone in one sentence… I can’t even. I’m still in denial that I’m a long-form blogger. I refuse to tag my posts long form, I don’t want to write long posts. If I could write a short, engaging story like this in 100 words, well I would just shut my laptop and decide that I was done. Writing: accomplished.

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  33. And apparently I can barely keep my comments under 100 words…

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  34. I love the dribbling bullet – that’s real magic! Welcome to FF :D

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  35. Ah! There’s so much story here! I’m pulled right in. The magic of the maypole was a great twist for the ending! Seriously good, El G!

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  36. this line here – “The magic of the Maypole”, answered…

    i don’t know where you live, and i know there are differences between england and the US, but in “american” english, the comma should be inside the quotation marks. in england, outside is more common.

    i like how all was needed was “the air smelled cleaner” in order to know to be ready for anything. from start to finish, had to be on your toes. well done.

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  37. Nothing is better than a maypole to fence of murderous intents.. in phase two it’s important to rememember its strength as a symbol of fertility.

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  38. whiteladyinthehood

    Great take on the Challenge! (It was REALLY suspenseful) Do some more of them!

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  39. What made you think I read this?

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  40. Dear Guapo,

    I’ve seen your comments on other stories so it’s nice you decided to jump in with your own story. Welcome!

    Well done piece of magic. I look forward to reading more from you

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  41. Good story. I thought it was going to be murder and mayhem. What a nice magical surprise with a happy ending. Well done.

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  42. Sorry. I should have mentioned this first. Welcome to Friday Fictioneers!

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  43. A new twist to an old classic. Classic Guap! xo

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  44. Writing that story under 100 words, I’m giving you a medal, Can’t get any better than this !

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  45. May Pole magic! What a delight.

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  46. Loved the magic! :-)

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  47. Well played Sir Gaupo!
    I’m having so much fun tonight getting caught up on everyone’s great work. Masterful story in a very short space!
    For the Amtrak residency, I had to answer two questions in 100 characters including spaces–they were both 108 words. One of the most challenging things I’ve ever done!!
    At least I’ve got access to learn from the best. Loved it!
    (Did you see Christy and Mary’s 50 word stories from the weekend?)

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    • I saw Christy’s 50 words and thought she did really well. Haven’t read Mary’s yet, but I’ll get over there soon.

      Glad you’re pushing on with the Amtrak residency. Can’t wait to hear how it goes!

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  48. Great imagination El and I loved that last line-one must believe in magic :-)

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  49. So I think you should have had “Do You Believe in Magic” as the song for the day. ;) Yes, I do, and this story was great!

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  50. This was very well written Guaps – you didn’t tell us what we needed to know, you showed us! Loved it!

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Ahem *best Ricky Ricardo voice* Babble-OOOoooo!!!

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