And Goodnight, Mrs. Foolishness, Wherever You Are!


Today’s Music: Brody Dalle – Don’t Mess With Me

Once more, unto the weekend! Last weekend, I had my Big Brothers/Big Sisters interview, which was an awful lot of questions. Presumably I’ll hear back from them soon. Also spent a great day knocking about with TMWGITU – always fun! Throw in a little live music, and it wasn’t too bad of a week.
Oh, and I got to read blogs! Here’s some of what I saw:
Lance Burson wrote about Changing Music. Dawn posted about facing down Shame, and Linda Vernon gave us the biblical origins of Goat Hotcakes.
All in all, a very satisfying week of reading, from them and all of you.
RealityTV
But last week, we asked you for the most satisfying thing on TV – the next great reality show. And wow, are your realities stranger than fiction! Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are getting their fifteen minutes in italics.)
The Farmwives of Hot Coffee, MS~~Addie
(Watch as they consider moving to the sunny side of Two Eggs, FL)
My Cat Meme Addiction (Nadia)
(While you google them, you can haz cheezburger!)
Housewives of Whoville – Linda Vernon
(On a heartwarming episode, they all adopt Horton.)
Are You My Brother/Sister? Amy R.
(You’re going to put Maury Povich out of a job…)
Gene Pool: Make Your Own Baby Amy R.
(Watch as these artisans hand-create what the rest of us just order online.)
brickhousechick: “Naked & Fried” follow the life of a naked tan man…
(Now I know why that camera van is stalking me…)
Stacy’s Living Room Revelations (Stacy) ha!
(On the Thanksgiving episode, Norm realizes he can carve the turkey from the couch!)
experienced by turning off the TV. sandylikeabeach
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
How I Learned to Play the Harmonica with my Nose
(With very special guest, Stevie “The Shnoz” Wonder.)
Duckface Dynasty
(Tonight, Darlene cleans the bathroom before snapping a selfie in the mirror!)
Life With The Hotspurs
(Hotspur and wife both dress up as Miyavi. But who’s prettier?)
Confessions of the Chick-Fil-A Cow – Curvyroads
(The truth will turn all four of your stomachs.)
Real Red(State)Necks of North Georgia – Curvyroads
(In the episode that changes everything, Dwayne’s “Mom” tattoo is misspelled right before he starts his run for Senate.)
Bloggers Reveal How to Keep Yourself from Growing Onto Your Computer – Benzeknees
(On the season finale, Benze catches a virus from her PC.)
“DYIs: Hipsters On the Loose” KBerrios
(Hipsters go dumpster-diving, then redecorate one lucky person’s house!)
Or, the actual un-dislexic version, “DIY: Hipsters on the Loose.” KBerrios
(Hey, they were misspelling on teh internet be4 it was kewl.)
a show about me… trying to get on this blog… PMAO
(Watch as PMAO’s account is shut down for spam.)
(Again.)

Pork Dynasty: Swamp Pigs
(Bringing home the bacon. One bucket of mud at a time.)
Your question implies there was a 1st “great” reality show. Elyse 54.5
(WE HAVE ANOTHER WINNER!!!)
Real Bloggers At Home (SilkPurseProductions)
(Wait – bloggers are real people???)
Zoe:How the rest of the world survives Hawaiian Shirts
(Spoiler Alert: There’s a lot of rum involved.)
The Life and Times of Guap. (thematticuskingdom)
(That’s better suited for a PBS slot in the early am hours.)
(When everyone is asleep.)

My Child Thinks They are a Vampire. (thematticuskingdom)
(Wow, that…sucks.)
Following a $20.00 bill as it changes hands and opens doors.
(Isn’t that the entire schedule of Fox Business News?)
Mine was the $20.00 reality show – Susie Lindau Duh!
(And here I was expecting the $1,000,000 idea.)
Stop! Or my mom will shoot. (thematticuskingdom)
(Settle down there, Palin jr.)
Turning Brony: A trip deep inside the bowels of Bronyism. *NancyTex
(Those colorful, colorful bowels.)
The Secret Lives of GIF Makers
(Feel the drama – one flashing frame at a time!)
Real Villains of Gotham City – Thing Two aliceatwonderland
(Doesn’t our gov’t get enough media coverage already?)
IBS Unleashed – Rutabaga
(On tonights episode, Bill…toots…his own horn!)
Buckaroo’d! A show about zoophiliacs ditched at the alter by their horses – Joe Hoover
(I’d like to think that show has a small audience. But it’s probably huge…)
I Peed My Pants While Watching Sex Sent Me To The ER – Twindaddy
(Sponsored by Depends Undergarments.)
Twilight Sent Me to the ER- “Thing One” aliceatwonderland
(Spinoff of “50 Shades sent me to the Proctologist”.)

Congratulations to sandylikeabeach and Elyse 54.5 for this weeks winning answers! (Catch the behind the scenes action of their acceptance on “Accepting Inane Awards“, this week on TLC!). And from the offered choices, the most popular was I Wore The Foam Burger Suit at McDonalds. So congratulations to everyone self confident enough to admit they did that.
Strip Poll
This week, spring is very much in the air, including the birds! And the bees! So obviously, it’s time for a sex-related poll. And you don’t even have to worry about catching a disease from this one! (Carefeul, Benze.)
Answer often, but answer soon, because this one closes at 2359 EDT on Tuesday, 15 April. Try and keep yourself to three Other answers if you do write-ins, and if you do leave an Other, add a way to recognize you at the end, and I’ll link back to you next week.


And since the poll wasn’t really about sex, enjoy this video that isn’t quite about sex either.

Have a great week everyone!

143 responses to “And Goodnight, Mrs. Foolishness, Wherever You Are!

  1. OMG, OMG I’m the first one to comment. I don’t have to scroll all the way down half of North America to add my two cents worths. Ok better read your post now….

    Like

      • questions though …
        1. why big brother?
        2. does your boss know what you REALY get up to
        3. how cold are you ‘cos i’m bloody hot and ready to swap continents?

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        • 1 – Big Brother was a badd typo on my part – it’s Big Brothers/Big Sisters, a volunteer organization for helping kids that I applied to.
          If you knew that already, it’s because I thought it was something useful I could do with my time.
          2 – HELL NO!!!! But he quit, next thursday is his last day, and I don’t think the new overlords that bought our company have any idea at all what’s going on.
          3 – Warm has finally landed! But if you come to NYC, I could probably put you up for a few days.

          Like

  2. I do hope you hear from the BB people soon. That would be a very cool thing. Have an awesome weekend, Guap.

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    • Thanks Eva. I think two of my references have already responded. I’ll check on the third.
      It’s odd, because they said I should hear something this week…

      Like

  3. Hey thanks Guapo, for the great compliment :) …made my morning (full of a one yr old tantrums so far) all the better.

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  4. You’ll be a great Big Brother!! I hope you hear back soon. Hope you and TMWGITU have a great weekend. Spring is definitely in the air….finally!!

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  5. Deanna Herrmann

    Those are some twisted reality tv shows. ;-) Happy Friday!

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  6. That last video was a hoot. Congrats to Sandy and Elyse! … good luck with the BB process! How was Thursday’s live music?

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  7. So to watch these shows, do I need to subscribe to cable? Because I might not….well, I definitely won’t :)

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  8. I’m not a fan of reality shows, though I’d certainly watch you!

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  9. I’m sure you would be really great on Big Brother, but I’ve never watched it so what do I know? Hilarious video. :lol: Happy weekend to you.

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    • Ha! That’s a typo – I’ve since edited the post.
      I applied as a volunteer for Big Brothers/Big Sisters, which pairs adults with children who could use a mentor/stable adult.
      No way I’d go on big Brother. I’d miss my wife too much.

      Like

  10. These are all so good, I can’t pick a favorite, though the tanned naked man sounds intriguing. Then again, I think you can already see that on Dancing with the Stars. At least faux-tan anyway…

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  11. Good luck with Big Brother – Sandy was a worthy joint winner!

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  12. You may remember that in that short sci-fi/horror story I posted a while back, that the cursed guy woke up inside the head of a female nurse… and stuff happened… that was weird and funny… and… where was I going with this?

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  13. I would have guessed that the hipster show was a real thing.
    Any little brother would be blessed to have you as a Big. Sending my best vibes for good things.

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  14. Waitaminute…what Big Brother interview? Did I miss a post? What’s going on?

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  15. What were you googling when you found this video? Was there liquid near your nipple clamps, and did you wipe your hands off before touching your trackpad? And no, by “trackpad” I’m not referring to any odd body parts, I’m really talking about your actual trackpad.

    Like

  16. Oh that’s exciting that you had your big brother interview!!

    I laughed out loud so many times reading the reality show poll answers! And some of them would make darn good reality shows like: My child things they’re a Vampire — I would watch that. Stacy’s Living Room Revelations! and Addie’s Farmwives of Hot coffee! LOL!! What a fun poll that was!

    And Gregory thanks you for the mention! (He’s bringing by a little gift later — hope you have plenty of goat syrup on hand! :D

    Like

  17. Ah, into each Friday a little foolishness must fall. Thank goodness for that. And for sharing the good stuff that you read. I don’t know how you find time to do it, but glad you do. Same goes for the Big Brothers stint. You’ll get the okay soon, I know it!

    Like

    • It’s hard to restrain the foolish spillage in real life to just a little for the Friday post, but such is my burden to bear.. ;)
      There’s a ton of stuff I could link at the top, but I don;t want it to be overwhelming. It’s hard to narrow it down. For instance, your Loch Ness Manster was as entertaining as anything else I’ve read online.
      But if there were 50 links, I don’t think anyone would click any of them.

      Like

  18. It was, “Goodnight, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.” ~ Jimmy Durante. Loved him with his big shnozz! Have a great weekend. Hope you become a Big Brother. Great.

    Like

    • Yep, that’s the reference!
      I like using famous lines and adding Foolishness more than the old titling scheme I used for these.
      Durante was one of a kind. Thanks!

      Like

  19. Oh my gosh, Guap. You are beyond hilarious! The first answer to this week’s poll had me rolling!!! “Play with myself”. You are going to make one hell of a “Big” Brother!! :) The reality shows were awesome too. :)

    Like

    • I can’t recall a single conversation I’ve ever had (with the guys when I was drunk and younger) that didn’t include that as an answer.
      And since this whole series has always been immature with a touch of classlessness, what other answer could I possibly use!
      (Glad you enjoyed it!)

      Like

  20. Haha nice post! :D Those reality show names rock! People have such a great imagination!!!

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  21. You misspelled colourful. Embrace the U buddy. The U is your friend.

    In other news, I’m still sitting at LGA due to a cancelled flight. This airport is nothing if not consistent.

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  22. I’ve always known Elyse and I think alike!

    To echo many other commentors – you’ll be a great Big Brother. It is a wonderful organization.

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    • Thanks Sandy. I imagine if I don’t hear from them, I’ll get to play “exactly what sordidness from my past turned them off”.
      Always a fun game!

      And now that you mention it, I’ve never seen you and Elyse in the same room.
      Hmm….

      Like

  23. Soo crazy funneh! I’ve come to look forward to these Friday posts!

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  24. OhMyGodICan’tBelieveI’mSharingTheSpotlightWithSandyLikeABeach! Ooh ooh ooh! Only because, of course, we are both wise and beautiful women who know that reality TV is, ummmmmmm, un-fucking-real.

    Guap, I said it before, and I’ll say it again, you will be a wonderful Big Brother. Just keep your clothes on.

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    • As soon as I saw your write-in, I knew it was the winner. Sandy’s was right up there too.

      I’m looking forward to hearing back from them, one way or the other.

      Like

  25. And from the offered choices, the most popular was I Wore The Foam Burger Suit at McDonalds.

    Nah. I wore a bird suit for Red Robin.

    So congratulations to everyone self confident enough to admit they did that.

    Why shouldn’t I be? Little known secret: Michael Synder and his brothers are from my wife’s hometown of Yakima, also the home of Squirt soda. (Yes, I know Squirt is headquarted in Dallas, TX– it started in Yakima, WA.)

    It is a matter of local pride in an area the rest of the nation hasn’t got a f’ing clue about unless I talk about Hanford and the Nuclear Age (Hanford is not far from MY hometown and current place of residence).

    It was an AWESOME job and I guess I should blog about that and my time as Santa sometime.

    Like

  26. I contributed other and said this: Do a pee, leave the seat up and think HARD about WHY I do something so annoying!

    LOL I cannot see it there (so don’t know if it worked) – but it ias been something that has driven me NUTS since forever!

    Miss Lou
    xx

    Like

  27. I would take copyright on many of those ideas if I were the people who came up with it… And then get really, really rich because the majority of people likes to watch all the drama on tv instead of just looking around.

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  28. Very funny El :) Have a great weekend :)

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  29. I still wouldn’t buy a tv. That video was hilarious. Happy weekend!

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  30. Laughed at the Chic-fil-a answer, too funny! I wonder if Banksy and the Chic-fil-a cow are one and the same.

    I have a feeling next week’s answers are going to be epic. Oh boy oh boy oh boy! (She said when she woke up a he.)

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  31. Congratulations on your BB/BS application. I hope you will keep us updated as the process continues. Go Guap! xo

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  32. Shucks, I missed that last poll, Loved all the answers, I’m telling you I could have won that one! (At least I think I could have :| )
    Hope you had a great weekend :)

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  33. Dang, people are funny round these parts. You make good laughter, Guapo.

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  34. whiteladyinthehood

    Guapo, you are just too damn funny.

    Like

  35. Ok, Guap, your Dwayne comment was just hilarious, as was the rest of the post!

    You are one funny dude…

    Like

  36. Best of luck with Big Brothers/Big Sisters interview and hope you hear back from them soon :D

    I loved the responses from last week (very funny indeed!) you have a lot of very creative and clever followers :D

    Like

  37. Sheeeeeet I hit submit without identifying myself.
    Um, mine includes the O word and “multiple.”

    This would be a purely scientific endeavor.

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  38. This is definitely a record for lateness Guap
    but I have already added some thoughts on the
    gender change nightmare :) lol

    Hey have a great week now :)

    Andro

    Like

  39. Turning the TV off is not winning! That’s cheating. And we all know that cheaters never prosper, except for when they have lots of money already, which you can often get by cheating… Hmm… Okay, so, I guess I need to know if turning the TV would make me more money before I can endorse that as the winning answer…

    Like

  40. Okay, I’m stopping right now to comment! I’ve been over here like 10 times, and keep leaving to read other’s posts…and then I’m all, where the eff was I? OH YEAH, at Guap’s. :)

    Great weekly wrap up! You do such a good job! Oh, and who wouldn’t play with themselves first if they woke up the opposite gender??? Shit, I would only leave the room to pee on a tree. #loftygoals

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  41. Of course I’m too late for the poll this week! Especially after you singled me out! If I woke up the opposite sex I think I would kill myself because I wouldn’t have two thoughts in my head at the same time. I could not stand being dragged around by my penis all day & night. :)

    Like

  42. Pingback: This is not madness. THIS. IS. FOOLISHNESS!!! | Guapola

Ahem *best Ricky Ricardo voice* Babble-OOOoooo!!!

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