Friday Foolishness – Culinary Edition

Today’s Music: The Cat Empire Sly
And so, I emerge from the spreadsheet hell where I spent most of my week. But not all of my week. I also managed to read some blogs. Here’s some of what I saw…
Christopher De Voss contemplated going to his high school reunion, Christine MacDonald took a failure as a personal challenge and kept on going.
And in that same vein, there were a lot of reflections on Monday’s events in Boston. Running On Sober related to it in the context of her own running, and Cayman Thorns conclusion pretty much summed it up.
Thanks to everyone for another great week of reading and comments.

But there was some commenting last week too. Specifically, your comments in response to last week’s poll. And from what your answers, I’m secure in the knowledge that nitrous and anesthesia are still in heavy use. Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are drilled in italics.)

banging the other four. – Revis
(Open wider…)
Regular brushing. What? It’s boring, but it’s true.
(Do dentists have teachers pets?)
The soundtrack to Little Shop of Horrors. D. Delicious
(I prefer the sound of John Denver while getting my mouth pummeled.)
Getting dentures (Addie)
(Hold out for the iTeeth.)
Eating garlic before instead of afterwards… Andro
(Dr. Acula says he can no longer see you.)
Goofy looking dentures… Andro
(Wait – are the mini disco balls too much?)
Pulling hers down instead of his… Who said that? Andro
(That was Dr. Arthur Tootherton, in his seminal work Moving the Lips to Access Bicuspids Two and Four)
Smoking Grass Not Kissing Ass… Andro
(Depending on the company, one can lead to the other…)
Skinny Dipping Hillbilly Parties… Andro
(Do hillbillys have enough teeth to use dentists?)
Reading El Guapo every week while soaking dentures – Benzeknees
(I find it much easier to read this while soaking in tequila…)
… that those other four losers get a life! -Kwyjibo Brian, D.D.S.
(Dentists, like teeth, are so clique-y)
not having teeth – Carrie Cannibalistic Nerd
(Then how will they pay for their vacation homes?)
Not going to dental school. SO MUCH WORK. -Lily In Canada
(Wait – some dentists get trained first???)
Chicklets. – The Waiting
(The orange ones, or the green?)
sugar! (Stacy)
(He just wants more work.)
Using your teeth as tools & getting a degree from a cereal box. (UndercoverL)
(Well, since many cavities come from those cereal boxes, why not the fix too?)
just tying a string to a doorknob and slam! – calahan
(the Bob Vila school of dentistry!)
using your teeth as a bottle opener…….zannyro
(Have to. My friend won’t let me use his anymore.)
there is no 5th dentist – its a herring..lizziec
(But can it chop down the largest tree in the forest?)
That I show up from time to time Elyse 54.5
(I stop in from time to time just to see the fish tank.)
Not brushing at all so you spend more money. X, Becca
(But I save so much in toothpaste!)
Ignoring the other 4 guys and think for yourself- Rogue
(If he tells you to think for yourself, should you give in to the pressure?)
to pull out your teeth? NBI
(Sure, it’s an expensive procedure. But there’s no repeat business.)
an oral cleaning and protein shot. twindaddy
(Wasn’t there a court case about that recently?)
Psychotherapy. Red.
(If only therapists used nitrous…)
Dentures. Carrie Rubin
(If only wooden teeth were as valuable as wooden nickels…)
…to do whatever you want. We’ll all die anyways. -Marie Nicole
(Zen dentistry at its finest.)
Rutabaga- a diet rich in glass shards and fish gravel
(Sure, it gets your teeth clean, but will it help with gingivitis?)
the YOLO philosophy – Speaker 7
(That’s why the other four won’t hang out with him anymore.)
Visiting the 4 other dentists? – Doggy’s Style
(Nah, he hates those jerks.)
THIS (from Asplenia)

(He waited til the camera was off to smell his butt.)
Peanut butter and jelly (Frank)
(Four out of five dentists prefer the scents of pickle and liver sandwiches from their patients who eat sandwiches.)
replacing missing teeth with chicklets (SnB)
(Swallowing a filling never tasted so good.)

Congratulations to you all, for making laugh during another long week. And from teh offered choices, the most popular was using the nitrous before the patients come in. So congratulations to all you light-headed people too!

This week, our thoughts turn to food. And what to handle it with. So here’s your chance to find new and unusual ways to play with your food! Dig in all you like, but dig in by 2359 EST on 25 April, because that’s when this one ends.
(And if you leave an “other” answer, leave some ID too and I’ll link back to you next week.)

Well, that about wraps it up. So I’ll leave you with these, two fun songs from Garfunkel and Oates (yeah, I did a doubletake too when I saw the names).
First, this is for medicinal use.

And second…never mind. I don’t know what to say.

Have a great week, y’all, and keep on keepin on.

Friday Foolishness – Canine Edition

Today’s Music: Lynyrd Skynyrd – Edge of Forever

Despite it feeling like at least 10 days since last we met, it’s only been a week. How do I get through such a long slogging stretch? By reading blogs! Here’s some of what I saw…
For a Trifecta challenge, Marie Nicole put a great piece of magic. Red waxed wisely on getting writing help.
And sandylikeabeach is officially retired!

They, and you, made it a great week for reading blogs.

Hey, it’s more than just words to me,

But last week was all about getting better here. And thanks to all your advice, I know now that I will just lock myself in a room with tears running down my face.
Because your answers made me laugh that hard! Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are the best that they can be in italics.)
*One note – Polldaddy was a bit wonky, so I sincerely apologize if I missed someones’ answer, and the omission was not deliberate.
You do polls? John Phillips
(I like to think of them as existential thought exercises…)
self improvement is masturbation – brad pitt
(Then I don’t understand why so many people get advice on it from Dr. Phil.)
change nothing because he’s AWESOME! (nicolemarie)
(They broke the mold. And beat up the moldmaker.)
Provide either ‘shrooms or more nudity. Either works. (UndercoverL)
(Since I’m naked, I’m guessing you don’t want to know where the shrooms are hidden…)
Offer virtual cake to each voter! MBT
(You can probably find some fruitcakes in the comments…)
angry birds
(grumpy bloggers)
Quit his day job and concentrate on polls!! (polysyllabic)
(Wait – exactly what do you think I do at at work?)
I don’t know but it has something to do with a new Pollguappy platform (Live Clay)
(Only if I get to use the word “Pollguappy”)
Wait a minute! This isn’t Hooters! Where the hell am I? – A Bad Influence
(If you still have your pants, then definitely not Hooters.)
Hold my hand while I do this scary polling thing -Marie Nicole
(I’m already holding two severed hands from a different poll. MUAHAHAHA!!!)
Serve more ravioli and wine. Red.
(I used all the wine in the recipe.)
(*Burp*)
Change the color from gray to pink, of course. ~Maddie
(I am secure enough in my manliness to not be afraid of pink. Or feel the need to prove it.)
(*whew*)
Add an interactive Pole…! SnaapALicious
(Is Lech Walesa still available?)
remember that the only good polls are stripper poles. Revis
(Which makes these polls a bunch of overweight mailmen.)
Offer free Jelly and Peanut Butter sandwiches Andro

Hand out chocolates and pancakes to everyone Andro
(You think I’m made of dough? (See what I did there?))
realize that the only thing that ever improves anything is an explosion. Revis
(Jim Henson knew it well.)

Guapo, you should make dinner for all of us! The Bumble Files
(With fava beans and a nice chianti?)
Poll the poll on what it thinks. – The Waiting
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
Make them more literary by including the word “hath” in every choice. lindavernon
(I was hoping to make them more cartoony…)
Bare all! Okay…that was a joke. Hey! Where’s the ‘It’s Just a Joke’ button?
(I left the button in my clothes. Back there somewhere. Oops…)
The polls are already perfect. Awww-Lily In Canada
(Your check is in the mail.)
Serve them with a side of fries….zannyro
(Serving fries! At last, the full realization of my Liberal Arts education!)
do nothing. Like Guapo, they’re perfect just the way they are. sandylikeabeach
(Who is this “Guapo” and how do I live up to his standard?)
Take up single Malt. You’re drinking for two now ~R
(When did I cut down?)
never elect another one. quitters.~R
(Or just write in Big Bird.)
Poll readers for the best poll questions. Elyse 54.5
(I asked on Twitter, but everyone kept telling me about those pictures of me on Facebook.)
channel his inner Orson Welles. And sell no wine before its time.
(Rosebud Vineyards! Confusing to its dying drop.)
Love your work! Starving Activist
(Ah, you must be new here.)
keep doing exactly what he’s been doing Benzeknees
(Isn’t that part of the definition of insanity?)
Record his responses in a video blog dressed as a superhero. Carrie Rubin
(Wow, a lot of responses calling for nudity this week.)
Like a Chanel handbag, YES!
(Like the price tag, NO!)
There is no way I could ever be better than I already am… sigh… PMAO
(Um…I think they said you “wouldn’t” get better, not “couldn’t”…)
Add pink food coloring. Rogue
(I prefer plaid.)
Rutabaga: I like a special channel & FUNICULAR!
(If you mean a funicular railway, I’m afraid this train is already waaay off the rails…)
add music videos and hot models …Ya Baby (SnB)
(Are Tiny Tim and the “Where’s The Beef” lady still available?)
all of the above (Stacy)
(So lots and lots of improvement needed.)
Have a beer cooler available those responding (Frank)
(I don’tthink the beer would stay in the cooler long enough to get cold. And it certainly wouldn’t last til the respondents came! )
Let someone else host them. Twindaddy
(Sadly, no one will take my calls anymore.)

Congratulations to Emily @ The Waiting for this weeks winning answer. And from the offered choices, the most popular was a tie between Give substantial, valuable prizes. and always pick me as the winner!. But would you want there to be substantial prizes if I didn’t pick you?

Now that you’ve stretched your pondering muscles on that, consider this: For everything that is brought to dentists for their recommendations – toothpastes, teeth whiteners, Slim Whitman albums – 4 out of 5 do recommend them.
But I’ve always wondered, what does the fifth dentist recommend? Well, that’s this weeks poll for you to sink your teeth into.
So bite hard, bite often, but bite before 2359 EST on 18 April, because that’s when this one ends.
And if you leave your name in an “Other” answer, I’ll link back to you next week.

And as we head off into what will hopefully feel like a longer weekend and shorter week, enjoy these.
First, I was turned on to this by a young friend, whose parents then had to explain to her what bestiality was.

And since we’re already changing lyrics to songs, hears the Literal Video version of aHa. It always gets a laugh out of me, if only for “assful of pipe wrench”.

Have a great weekend everyone, and I’ll see you when next we meet.

Friday Foolishness – Self-Actualization Edition

Today’s Music:Living Colour – Type
Note on Today’s Music: Please ignore the post-80s hair and fashion. We didn’t know any better. I’m seeing them tomorrow night, and word is they can still play.

Tickety tock, bippity bop. Annnndddd…..FRIDAY! Woohoo! We made it and it’s time to celebrate! How? Why, by reading blogs of course! Here’s some of what I saw.
Edward Hotspur got dressed. Enchanted Seashells made a feast! And H.E. Ellis welcomed April Fools Day as only she could.

Thanks for all the great reads – theirs and yours too – this week!

Another highlight of the week was the poll! Ok, it was a highlight of my week. We asked what you felt strongly enough to wave a sign about. A sharpie was never given for more…interesting causes. (As always, my comments are having a sit-in in italics.)

Save the Wha… no, Free the Chil… ah, let’s do Release the Hounds! -Brian
(I expect you’ll be getting protested by the Friends the Kraken society…)
If your dog POOPS it, YOU scoop it Kanerva who is tired of dodging the cr@p
(If the sign was aimed at the dogs, you’d have to write it in p- …nevermind.)
I use my protest sign to poke stupid people. KBar3
(You must go through a lot of signs!)
People who drive slow in the fast lane. My sign: “Drive Right” ~Maddie
(Wouldn’t a better sign be “Exit”?)
Alimony is for cheaters!!! bbbatez
(So much for “cheaters never win”…)
“When in doubt… throw it out!” (works for everything) -UndercoverL
(First seen being held by a baby. In bathwater.)
Down with Winter!Ain’t nobody got time for that! Rogue
(Shouldn’t that be Down Under with Winter”?)
GET OFF MY DAMN LAWN! (rollergiraffe)
(Those meddling kids…)
More Thin Mints (Frank)
(Less is the new more, Frank.)
More Thin Mints (Frank)
(How about a few really thick ones?)
(More Thin Mints was mine … Frank)
(Frank, the first step to dealing with a problem is…)
Honk if you think my sign is cool which really protests nor supports anything ..
(You’ll get more honks if you wave that sign in traffic.)
What do we want? Time Travel! When do we want it? Doesn’t matter! – Hotspur
(What if the time travellers came back in time and destroyed time travel? Yeah, that’ll keep you up at night…)
When men can get pregnant then they can make decisions about abortions! benzeknees
(There is no way I can respond to this that doesn’t end in a public lynching.)
God Hates Snookie. And He’s not alone.
(Everyone says they hate Snookie, and yet someone is buying her stuff. Anything to say, God?)
Down With Protesters!! (That One Guy)
(Up with Apathy!)
Pull your pants up or I will pull them down.
(Why, hello there!)
We don’t need no stinkin’ badgers. (Badger Protesters) lindavernon
(Those beavers are so specie-ist.)
Free Gas… All that you can sniff Andro
(Smells like you should change your diet.)
More Sun or Else? Andro
(It will be here in about eight minutes.)
Badges? We don’t need no stinkin’ badges!
(Use Hippie-Be-Gone, for all your protestor freshening needs!)
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue. Twindaddy
(It was. And don’t call me Shirley.)
If all your brains were nitroglycerin, it wouldn’t blow the head off a pissant. Yes, it is a big sign. I don’t carry it often. Stupid Mtgs always have the wrong time on the flyer. Red
(I don;t think they’re smart enough to read that.)
God Hates Hate! — Ashley Austrew
(Is that like a “rock too big for him to lift” paradox?)
Rutabaga: What can I say about this elixir?
(Was it made from the juice of the Googly Moogly?)
I was told there would be beer! Alex Autin
(We drank it before you got here. Purely a defensive measure.)
Not enough cow bell (Stacy)
WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)

Congratulations to Stacy for this week’s winning answer! And from the offered choices, the most popular was God Hates Signs That Say What God Hates!. Although I don’t know he informs people of that, since God communicates through signs. (See what I did there?)

This week, everyone has only one thing on their minds. But my young nephews might be reading, so we’re not going to talk about that. Instead, we’re going to ask about a topic near and dear to my heart: Self Improvement. I’ve been told that it’s a wide topic – that I had plenty of room for it. Well, here’s your chance to chime in.
But chime by 2359 EST, on 11 April, because that’s when this one ends. And if you leave a way for me to recognize you in your Other answer, I’ll link back to you next week.

So to send you off in to the weekend with a smile on your face, enjoy these.
First, from the BBC (read as “good”) version of Whose Line Is It Anyway

And finally, what the hell, lets stay British. This conversation could never happen in my office.
We’re on the top floor.

Beatnik Poetry Slam – Ice

Today’s Music: Stan Getz – Autumn Leaves

You can see his inner Beatnik hidden in the ruffles.

Tonight’s special guest Marvin Suggs, resplendent in a very sparkly vest, stands behind the Mupphaphone, mallet at the ready.
Who knows what excitement giddy-ifies his brain? No one can tell from his expression, as he is a consummate performer.

The stage goes dark. A single burning diamond white LED picks out El Guapo as he strides to the microphone, his beret cutting a swirling path through the cloud from his clove cigarette.

Ice

The desolate wind
*ow*
blows
through my
*ow*
soul.
*OW*
The scrub trees of the plain
*ow OW Ow*
shiver
*owowow*
with remorse.
*Owwwwww*
I huddle deep
*OOOoowwwwWWW*
within
*ouch*
my
*oh*
own skin.
*oWowOW*
Even though it
*owwwww*
is
*ow*
Spring.
*OWowOW*
The wind is a reflection
*owOWow*
of the dark.
*OwOwOw*
The polite
*ooooow*
considerate
*owow*
dark…
*Owwwwowowow*
I
*ow*
blame
*OW*
Canada.
*OWOWOWOowowoW*

Coooooool…

And for those of you unfamiliar with the Muppaphone:

Friday Foolishness – Angry Edition

Today’s Music: Dr John – Iko Iko

I have nothing to say about my week. Except that work is hard. Sleep is fleeting. And blogs are fun! Here’s some of what I saw…
Alex Autin took a hilarious road trip. Sharp Little Pencil wrote a powerful poem about child abuse that, even if you don’t know the story she shares, still packs a punch. The Epically Awesome Sights N Bytes gave me an epically awesome award of epic awesomeness award, which still isn’t near as cool as getting to read SnB’s stuff. And Natalie Elizabeth Beech nominated me for a Best Moment award. Check out their sites. Definitely good moments, all around.
Oh, and if you didn’t hear, DJ Matticus had a baby! Well, his wife did the birthing stuff, but still…

Thanks to them and everyone else for making my limited time in the sphere this week time well spent.

The Voodoo Maple Bacon Doughnut. Not a cupcake, but ridiculously delicious.

But last week, the question was cupcakes!!!. And from the answers, y’all are some very…creative…bakers! Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are frosted in italics.)

Icing, real icing-not that whipped creamy stuff, real icing and maybe caramel…
(Wait – so you don’t like real icing???)
I’m having a difficult time getting my mind out of the gutter. (Frank)
(That’s why we get along so well!)
Love and a bit of spit from the baker… “so there’s a little bit of YOU in it!”
(Are you sure that’s spit in the creamy frosting?)
(No, I didn’t just say that.)
(Move along…)
Anything but SNOW and ICICLES Yay… Andro
(How about slush and mud? Fresh! Mmm…)
“Dung.” Joe said this. – NicoleMarie
(Is Joe on the Food Network?)
“Poopysnot.” – Also Joe. (NicoleMarie)
(Ah, no. Apparently he’s on Ren & Stimpy.)
Love, MBT
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
Hair balls-Don’t go there-I’m talking about my kid’s kitty Cupcake! (Stacy)
(It’s very important to shave the cat before putting it in a cupcake.)
ducken. B_T
(Thank you for leaving out the Turd.)
Love, love, love, do de doo . . . Benzeknees
(Nono, the hash goes in the brownie recipe.)
it’s broccoli, dude. 2 Cs, 1 L. WG
(Actually, it’s Brocolli Man! My superpowers come from the typ- Oops. I’ve said too much.)
Cupcake juice. – Hotspur
(It it were anyone else, I’d think that was an innuendo…)
Cupcakes are just a vector getting icing in my mouth. (rollergiraffe)
(I believe the formula you need is √(x², y²)(sugar)/(awesome²))
crack and crank, so we can stay up for days and eat more cupcakes PMAO
(That won’t be enough for the munchies. I mean, so I’ve heard…)
They are full of guilt because that’s all I feel after eating ‘em. (UndercoverL)
(I buy my cupcakes at Penance Bakery too!)
Sit ups. The more you eat the flatter your stomach gets! Linda Vernon Humor
(I’ve always found situps to be gristly.And a bit sinewy.)
can i substitute gin for the vodka to go with the crushed dream filling?
(Next you’ll want to substitute hope and joy too…)
flour, egg, vanilla, sugar… thematticuskingdom
(well sure, if you just want something tasty.)
chocolate cake topped with peanut butter frosting. sandylikeabeach
(That’s going to be one full cupcake!)
Mayonnaise! Mwahaha! Surprise, that’s not cream cheese! Becca 25toFly
(The truth about Junior’s downfall revealed…)
Pie – calahan
(There’s an awful lot of math here this week…)
Blood, then no one would eat them. Just solved our obesity problem. -Lily In Canada
(Or created a new “fat vampire” problem…)
I like my cupcakes filled with little cupcakes…PMAO
(Then wrapped in cupcakes and served on a bed on cupcakes?)
Weight-loss pills. And chocolate. Carrie Rubin
(Or chocolate flavored weight loss pills! (Anyone remember AYDS? Anyone?))
BACON…….zannyro
(Sorry, I thought that went without saying. In everything.)
They are a terrific way to dispose of the bodies…with a grin. Red.
(How do you dispose of bodies with frowns? Because I have a lot more of those…)
Bacon! Twindaddy
(That’s just the lard frosting talking…)
LSD, Guap brains, and girl scouts – Rutabaga
(Sounds like a delicious recipe. For a long prison sentence…)
Chocolate (I’m saying it anyway), wine and crushed Doritos…yum. Rogue
(Are “crushed Doritos” the new “crushed dreams”? Because if they are, despair never tasted so good!)
DAVID BECKHAM! G
(He’s starting to look like he’s been stuffed with a few too many cupcakes…)
Peeps. Yellow Marshmallow ones not humans (Elyse 54.5)
(Are the yellow ones ripe? Humans, not the Marshmallow ones…)
angry birds (SnB)
(Nono, the smartphone poll was two weeks ago.)

Congratulations to MBT for this week’s winning answer! (Yes, I can be that sentimental.) And from the offered choices, the most popular was Crushed dreams. And vodka. Because it really is all about the flavor.

Recently, Michelle at Motley News posted a bunch of pictures of anti-protesters at Westboro Baptist Church protests. And it’s good to know that silliness and social responsibility can go hand in hand. It also go me thinking – what gets you mad enough to hold up as sign on a street corner?
So that’s this week’s poll. Get your answers in by 2359 EST on 4 April, because that’s when this one ends.
(And if you leave a way to recognize you in your “other” answer, I’ll link back to you next week.)

So the last few week(end)s were a bit more work-filled than I usually like. To keep my sanity, I’ve been listening to a lot of music. And some videos are very entertaining.
Here are two that always get a smile out of me.
First, I’m pretty sure we’ve seen the last of this band, but this is a fun tune and fun video they left behind.

And this is one of my girl’s favorites. Flamingos! With yoyos! What’s not to love?

Smile a lot, y’all, and hopefully I’ll be able to drag my ass out to see you a bit more next week…