Category Archives: Star Wars

Friday Foolishness – Said and Done Edition


Today’s Music: Alfredo Armenteros (Chocolate) -Controlate
Note on Today’s Music: Apropos of nothing, some times you just need a little Cuban jazz to perk yourself up.

Instead of the usual highlighting of great blogs in this space, I’m going to keep it for me for a short serious moment before the foolishness: You. All. Rock.
The comments you left after my last post left me with smiles, warm fuzzies, and reinforcement in the belief that the people I’ve met online are the coolest people in the world.

And for that, and just being around, thank you! from the bottom of my heart.

But the show goes on, and these polls are such a delight for me that pushing on with them is therapy.
Last week’s poll asked What the next form of transportation should be. As always, y’all do not disappoint! Here’s what you said (My answers move along in italics.)
1981 DeLorean DMC-12. Naturally (Kanerva)
(Sure, until some crazy old scientist decides to turn it into a time machine. Seriously, who turns a Delorean into a time machine?!?)
a hearse…c’mon…it fits the theme (WG)
(Yeah,but that’s kind of a one way trip…)
Telekinesis. Afraid those w cranial concavity would call discrimination-Red
(I doubt they’d be able to understand it well enough to know they’re being discriminated against…)
The Transporter from Star Trek (SnB)
(It’s all fun and games until you’re destroyed by a plot device.)
A soul train, where we leave our bodies behind – Benzeknees
(Bring in ‘da Noise, Bring in ‘da Funk (Google it))
Sprout wings and fly!! Michelle at Motley News
(I believe Red Bull will be contacting you shortly.)
Warp Drive! Seriously – I read a thing on Yahoo about it. – Hotspur
(If it’s on the internet it must be true!)
Your back….you should really carry me around…Becca
(I’d love to, but the monkey on my back is heavy enought)
Wormholes but not the kind of holes worms go through – sandylikeabeach
(How about Pot holes? hehehe)
Fold arms and blink eyes (like Genie) (Stacy Lyn)
(I love travelling into a bottle!)
I vote for a bicycle with an easy chair for a seat. (Those tiny seats are awful!) Asplenia
(I’d rather just have the easy chair and stay in place…)
mental transport! Just thinking should be enough! NBI
(That eliminates 95% of the population.)
Otherwise something free and dry and comfy. NBI
(Travel by bed. I like it!)
Magic Carpets Stay Abnormal
(Ok, but you’ll need a flying broomstick to clean it…)
Magic Carpet. What can I say? I’m a romantic. ~flame
(So I’m guessing your carpet is “shag”.)
Pneumatic tube. Carrie Cannibalistic Nerd
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
Elephants! We need this in the Western world! – Emily@ the Waiting
(I don’t know how to get on one, but they sure are easy to get off!)
Portals seem pretty classy – 25tofly
(The cake is a lie. (Google it.))
Piggybacking on dwarves. Joe Hoover
(Wouldn’t your feet drag along the ground?)
Portkey like in Harry Potter. I’m not using a toilet though. KJ
(Nono, you should use the toilet before you travel…)
Mental … just think about it and you’re transported! (Frank)
(Is a York Peppermint Patty the trigger?)
urban ziplines
(At last! A form of mass transit I’ll get a seat on!)

Congratulations to Carrie Cannibalistic Nerd
for this weeks winning answer! And from the available choices, the most popular was Jetpack. We really should have those by now. Hell. Yes. And congratulations to everyone who picked that too.

So here we are at this week. For me, rough week. Not impossible, just difficult. Since my mother did go through a long period of decline, her passing was not unexpected, which made it a little easier to process. And the relief that she is no longer suffering really does make it easier to take.
Fortunately, I also have a bent sense of humor. Which means that after she’s been interred, I’m left thinking about today’s question: When the time comes, what do I want done with my body?
Yeah, sometimes I think my sense of humor is the only thing that keeps me from going insane. Or keeps me insane. One of the two…
So here’s the poll. If you write an “other”, leave a way to identify you, and I’ll link back in next week’s post. Answer early, answer often. But answer by 2359 EST, 4 Oct. Because that’s when this one closes.

And in parting for the week, a clip including two things my mother loved: Muppets and Star Wars.
Hope you all enjoy it too.

And until next time, have a great week!

A Literary Limerick (And Haiku!) – Star Wars: Return of the Jedi


Today’s Music: Brian Hyland – Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini

Well, we’ve come to the end of our journey. The final haiku/limerick combination for Star Wars.
Thanks to Kayjai for thumping me on twitter and finally getting me to write the damn thing. (Plus, now I can rag her until she finishes the Kevin story. Seriously, it’s been a while since the last installment.)
And a special thanks to Mike Calahan for reminding me that this could only end with Ewoks.
(For those interested, it started here, and continued here.)

But now, we return to a time long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

And because this is the third movie of the trilogy (Trilogy. Those horrible bits called Episodes 1, 2, and 3 are dead to me), we’re giving you three, yes three limericks to send this one off!
So without further ado, here we go.
And may the force be with you!

Star Wars
Return Of The Jedi

Beware, It’s a trap!

That Luke finds good in Vader

Leia is not Han’s sister.

It ends with a big funeral pyre,
bathrobes as mystical attire
Good defeated bad
By all, a great time was had.

Oh George, couldn’t you then just retire?

Turns out Vader wasn’t such a big meanie.
Son Luke used the force like a genie
The plan from Akbars squid-head
left the Death Star for dead,

And we saw Leia, in a gold plated bikini

Vader stopped lightning, with his deft agile blocks.
The new Death Star – reduced to burnt rocks
The force was at rest.
This tale could’ve been the best,

but alas, it was riddled with Ewoks

A Literary Limerick (And Haiku!) – Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back


Today’s Music: Blues Traveler – Runaround

We continue our epic saga of love and war, fathers and sons, brothers and- no, forget that last one. (For part one, go here.)

Suffice it to say that we are up to our second of three installments in our Star Wars Limerick epic. So without further complaints about being subjected to still more of this, we now proudly present, in both haiku and limerick form, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back.

Star Wars
The Empire Strikes Back

Seek out Yoda, you will

Rescue your friends, you will try

Learn grammar, you will not

Yes Brain, but if I marry Pippy Longstocking, what will the children look like?


On Dagobah, Luke learned about living.
“I love you.” “I know.”, began Leia’s grieving
Finding out Vader’s his dad
Almost drove poor Luke mad.

And it makes for an awkward Thanksgiving.

We hope you enjoyed this trashing of two literary forms and beloved film.
Now i just need to figure out how to end this…

A Literary Limerick (and Haiku!) – Star Wars: A New Hope


Today’s Music: Meco – Star Wars Theme/Cantina
Note on today’s music: If you’ve never heard this disco version, you should click the link.

Continuing in the tradition of disrespect for the classics, El Guapo is proud to present his latest invitation to be sued by the copyright holders of great works.
Today, we turn our literary Tourette’s on the Star Wars saga.
(There was a novelization of the movie I owned as boy. So there.)

This one is actually based on a request. Love & Lunchmeat asked if Star Wars could be done. Possibly in Haiku.
As we are ecstatic that anyone pays any attention to these at all, we are happy to oblige.

A note on Haiku: it is a venerated Japanese art form. The traditional structure is 17 “on“. On are not the same as syllables. I have no idea what they are, so I don’t feel bad about the meter here at all.

One other note on this series: This will be episodes 4, 5 and 6. Not 1, 2 or 3.
Star Wars. Not Star Wars: The Quest To Cash In.

A battle of good versus evil.

A son inherits more than a lightsaber.

Dude, don’t kiss you sister.


Star Wars
A New Hope
He grew up fast, in confusion and blur.
“For luck” she said as he kissed her.
In the trench he shot true
No more Death Star for you!

But dude, you just kissed your sister!!!

And just to cleanse your palate, here’s Bill Murray’s lyrics from an old old Saturday Night Live skit.