Today’s Music: Dire Straits – Solid Rock
So I was trying to frame my thoughts for the next post. I was thinking of something from the Ticket Stub bin, or perhaps (one of the many) stories of drunken stupidity littering my past.
But I also wanted it to be funny.
And then it occurred to me – for those of you who haven’t been reading the blog, or the comments regularly, below is an exchange between two readers, over two days.
I’ll just let the blog do the work on this one. Because I’ll be busy figuring out how to save myself and barricading myself behind my firewall.
As an aside, my girl (the most wonderful girl in the universe) laughed herself silly at this.
So here it is, the unexpurgated comments, with thanks/apologies to Weenine Girl and Brian the Kwyjibo
Comments from The Bozo List:
Weenie Girl | November 7, 2011 at 22:18 | Reply | Edit
I hope you don’t think that enhancing another blogger’s post really counts as your own post. Your readers want you!! Don’t let us down!! Some of us may know where you live!!!
Weenie Girl | November 7, 2011 at 22:20 | Reply | Edit
And by the way, you didn’t say what the music of the day was. Surely you don’t expect me to figure it out by myself…
Brian the Kwyjibo | November 8, 2011 at 04:15 | Reply | Edit
You’ve got a point, Weenie. Some of us have come to count on his daily recommendations. Don’t leave us hanging like this!
Brian the Kwyjibo | November 8, 2011 at 04:14 | Reply | Edit
Awesome, Guapo! It appears you might have your own stalker. I want a stalker. (Weenie Girl, I’ll send you the address to my house, and some good directions.)
And shamelessly plugging another guy’s blog totally counts as a post. You had to type some words and even make a hyperlink. I’m gonna put something on Unintimidated to direct readers here, maybe to your music page.
Weenie Girl | November 8, 2011 at 06:46 | Reply | Edit
My stalking schedule is a little tight but I may have an opening after the holidays, Brian. Besides that service, I can also nag and be self-righteous. For example, what the hell were you doing posting at 4 am instead of sleeping?!!?
Let me know if you’d like to pursue this.
Brian the Kwyjibo | November 8, 2011 at 14:31 | Reply | Edit
I work swing shift, then usually stay up most of the night doing homework (or commenting on my favorite blogs when I should be doing homework). Some nights I get to bed by 2 or 3, and other times I’m up ’til 6. Either way, I sleep most of the morning. Before you nag me any more, let me say that I went to bed right after posting that comment last night.
I’ll get back with you on a time early next year when I’ll likely need a good stalker. (I’m so excited!)
El Guapo | November 8, 2011 at 15:19 | Reply | Edit
There ain’t nothing that’s good about the above.
Nothing at all.
Sadly, it picked up again after the next post,
And the comments from An Adventure – Learning to Sail
Weenie Girl | November 9, 2011 at 09:51 | Reply | Edit
I don’t even know where to begin.
1) You let your sisters tag along or they let you tag along?
2) Sunfish don’t have stays. Or guys. What kind of Sunfish are you talking about?
3) You only fell out of the boat? And only twice? Did it not capsize? That’s the whole fun of the getting wet part. If you capsize, it’s the wind’s fault. If you just fell out, you’re an idiot. Maybe that should be on the bozo list. Brian, do you think that qualifies? (And if you play your cards right, maybe I’ll invite you sailing.)
4) If you really loved sailing as much as you claim to, you would have taken the opportunity to respond affirmatively when you were invited. Pezhead!
El Guapo | November 9, 2011 at 10:20 | Reply | Edit
1 – They tagged along.
2 – The course was the Red Cross certification, and covered stays and guys.
3 – capsized and fell out. I am multi-talented. And ignoring the wind and capsizing is the sailors fault.
4 – Perhaps I just can’t find the right (sane) people to sail with….
Weenie Girl | November 9, 2011 at 10:37 | Reply | Edit
Bah! I wonder if your sisters agree with you. Check with them.
But still, only twice? If that was it, you weren’t sailing hard enough. If you fell out because your boat wasn’t tied to the dock, I don’t think I’d include that as one of your “multi-talents”.
Sanity is over-rated. I’ll ask my other self what she thinks but I believe she agrees with me.
Brian the Kwyjibo | November 9, 2011 at 12:59 | Reply | Edit
Nice nagging, WG! I could add him to The Bozo List, but he comprises 50% of the list’s editorial team, so that might not be a good move.
For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. El Guapo, I’m starting to think your personal El Guapo is a blog commenter who goes by the name of Weenie Girl.
El Guapo | November 9, 2011 at 14:35 | Reply | Edit
Thanks, John. Very wise to go with the one word comments here.
I’m going to have to get a cut if you reuse my stuff. It’s copyrighted, you know. Plus I have a kick-ass labor-employment lawyer who will squeeze you through the meat grinder. Personally, I think you’ve included the dialogue because you really have nothing to say and you’re buying time. Well guess what? Your readership is much more intelligent than you give us credit for. I bet that between us, we have at least a couple of college degrees, a GED here and there and a legitimate certificate from the Bartender School of America.
We want new content!!! Not recycled old content!!! Hmph!
Brian, if Guapo continues to slip, I’m going to drop him as a client and I’ll have an opening in the stalking schedule. Interested?
Thanks WG. I think my sailing Upside-Down Award trumps your fancy-pants college degree.
Guapo, it’s you and me against the world! (Or at least that Weenie Girl.)
Don’t listen to any of her absurd accusations. Oh, and you don’t read ALL the comments, do you? Like if I had just replied to one of her earlier comments about 2 minutes ago, you wouldn’t pay any attention to that, right?
That’s what I thought.
You and me, brother.
No, of course not. Let’s pretend that comment never happened…
*looks for Zoltan summonitng stick*
Are you ganging up on me? If you are, I wouldn’t join forces with El Guapo. He can’t even post anything meaningful. I bet he’s not even from Mexico.
A few things, Weenie:
1) I am currently interviewing several potential stalkers. If you’re still interested in being a candidate for that role, I’ll get back with you soon, and let’s see what we can arrange.
2) On re-reading our strange (I mean AWESOME) conversation here, I was reminded of your sailing offer. I’d love to learn how to sail. While my professional integrity will not allow me to add anyone to The Bozo List who does not truly belong there (it’s in the bloggers’ code), I will entertain a discussion of why Mr. Guapo may qualify. Falling out of boats for no reason… reposting comments and calling them a blog update… unable to even keep a good stalker on staff? What other bozterous stuff has he done?
Extra points for creation of the word “bozterous”.
Though I’m not sure if WG qualifies as a “Good” stalker…
And I had an excellent reason for falling out of the boat.
I could tell you, Brian, about many of his Bozterous episodes but if I did, I’d have to tell you in secret code. I’m not really allowed to divulge secrets of the brotherhood. Maybe by private message.
Sailing is out until May or so in my part of the world. We can discuss an intro then.
And finally, I am a volunteer stalker. I get to deduct all the traveling from my taxes. I don’t know how much though…I have decided if I’m stalking for medical reasons ($.19/mile) or charitable reasons ($.14/mile) or for business ($.51/mile). My accountant will have to figure that out.
You know if you if you are going to drop your stalkee’s for every little thing, they are going to take away your union card. Back in my day stalkers were devoted.
Hiya MWGITW. Nice to see you here too. It means you also have too much time on your hands.
I didn’t know you had any background in the stalking industry. Maybe we should have coffee so you can reveal more of your little secrets. If you had any REAL info, you’d know that volunteer stalkers are NOT unionized. We do what we do out of the kindness of our hearts. We don’t expect or even need recognition for our important contributions, especially to the blogosphere. And if my stalkee proves to be undesireable or otherwise unsuitable as the recipient of my gracious services then he gets the axe. At the very least, I hope you are amused. I bet you are.
And yet, volunteers should still have standards, I mean really, where’s the dedication to your craft. Have a little pride in your work. You can’t just drop him just because of one little thing.
And yes, to paraphrase Queen Elizabeth, we are quite amused.
This stuff practically writes itself, huh Guapo?
Really helpful on those days when i should post, but haven’t written anything!
It seemed prudent to go with one word, there are possible legal issues here. My 2 cents, nothing wrong with “promoting” or co-blogging. I looked in the rule book and it seems to all good.
Very wise John. I bounce my signal through servers in Marrakesh, Mozambique and Martinique, so I think I’m safe. For now…
Lol ’tis tooo funny. XD
We must have found our “Stalkers” in the same bins. HAHA
Discount bin. Ah well, you get what you pay for…
Thanks for coming by!
That’s about all the abuse I can take. Volunteers are just not appreciated the way they should be. Or you might find something nasty on your front porch, Guapo.
Thanks for stopping by WG. your comments, as always, are uplifting and deeply insightful.
As a token of our esteem, please enjoy the Flaming Balls of Zoltan which will be stopping by shortly to show just how much you are appreciated. (Zoltan is gigging in Southern NJ right now, so it may take a few days.)
Hey, that’s my porch too you know.