Monthly Archives: March 2012

Friday Foolishness – Blustery Edition


Today’s Music: Lyle Lovett – I’ve Been To Memphis

Well, another week come and gone. Faster than expected, though that might have been Tuesday’s fault. Went to see Gotye, drank waaayyy too much. IrishPaul drank even more. But I’m pretty sure he didn’t wake up with a blt in his pocket.
What?
Fortunately, y’all were around to help me through my hangover! I read about how Curly Carly got a dog! Brian Westbye made me clutch myself in pain, and Howlin’ Mad Heather put up a great set of animal pictures. (I was partial to the first, myself.)
Really, except for the shaking, laughter is great hangover medicine. And thanks to all of you for keeping me properly distracted this week!

So before you go to check them all out, let’s clear up last weeks foolishness. The poll asked what you need to cure your spring fever. As always, your answers did not disappoint! (As always, my coments are in italics.)
fuck spring. –goradde
(Says the one who lives in the tropics)
Fried catfish, fried pickles, fried okra, fried crawfish, hell, fried anything!
(Sure, it’ll cure spring fever, but set you up for a whole host of other problems!)
to be thankful the biopsy came back negative. I’ll keep the spring fever though.
(In all sincerity, we in Guapolaville are ridiculously happy for you!!!)
to stop reading this @#$^&^^ blog and go outside for fresh air and sunshine.
(Maybe just read at night. After all, isn’t Guapola fresh air for the soul? No? Eh, I tried…)
Benedryl (Carrie)
(Make sure you’re getting prescription strength, not over the counter. Woohoo!!!)
Virgin sacrifice (BrainRants)
(Gotta say, if you’re sacrificing the whole virgin, you might be doing it wrong…)
I’m going to eat a big ol’ bowl of daffodils so I can finally get my fill! Linda
(If you go for dandelions, you know it will be organic and wholesome – no chemicals like weedkiller were used!(
Naked sunbathing with umbrella drinks. Rich Crete.
(Wouldn’t it be more fun with naked girls?)
a bandana, possibly 2, i’m sure you can figure out the rest 😉 lizzie c
(Sure, you can use the two to make a sling, and…um…)
Severe allergies (She Speaks)
(Sounds like the cure is worse than the disease!)
Start going through spring adventures list as soon and as often as possible. AFrankAngle
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
Who in the hell would want to cure Spring Fever? Ginger Snaap
(I never thought it would happen, folks! I agree with GingerSnaap!)
To get dirty…not like that, just working in the garden (Hobbler)
(If your fences are high enough, no reason not to do “that” too!)
Champagne. Might as well suffer in style (Kanerva)
(I don’t think “champagne” and “suffering” really go together. You should just ditch the suffering!)
Congratulations to Frank for the best answer of the week!
For everyone that stuck with the offered choices, the most popular one was If this is being sick, baby I don’t want to be cured.

But that was last week, and this is…well…this week. Which means another round of silly question.
As always, feel free to write in your own answer in “Other”. If you like, write your name at the end of your answer and I’ll link back to you in next week’s wrap up.
Its spring, and like the adage says, it’s come in like a lion. All over the place, I’ve seen reports of high wind. Huffing and puffing and blowing and rolling all over everyplace. But what are you going to do about it?
No, seriously. That’s the question. So here it comes! Vote early, vote often, just vote before midnight Thursday, because that’s when the poll closes.

And to keep you busy until next week, I leave you with a guy who knows exactly what he wants to do when there’s wind.

Have a great weekend, everyone, catch you on the rebound…

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Trifextra – Finish The Story…


Today’s Music: Gotye – Hearts A Mess

Trifextra challenge:
This weekend, they provide the first 33 words of a story. Entrants have to provide the final 33.
Voting is done by the community, so if you want to, head over to their page and vote. Or just go read the other entries.
Seriously, they get some very talented people!
(*The words in bold are the Trifecta part. The rest is all me…)

“There’s nothing cute about it,” he said. The register of his voice indicated decision more so than discussion.

She disagreed heartily and privately, staring past his head and out the window behind him.

He turned to where she was looking.
Too slowly.
It chomped through the window, leaving nothing of him but twisted glasses and one sock.
She scratched her youngest under it’s maw.
“So Cute.”

Friday Foolishness – Feverish Edition


Today’s Music: Van Morrisson – Bright Side of the Road

Another week. A big week! We saw St. Patrick’s Day come and go (some of us watching through beer goggles), and the first day of spring came.
Finally.
The weather improved a bit here in NY, but they’re predicting a semi-crappy weekend. I know it will be crappy because my Saturday will start with a trip to the dentist. Fun fun!
But to snap me out of my self pity, there were some great posts I caught this week, among them, Carrie showed me an incredible dance clip. Miss Black is looking for a lost cat, and sandylikeabeach and Hobbler are both working to make the world a better place, and I’m damn proud to know them both.

Seriously, in a week that got worse by the hour, y’all were a huge help! (Cripes, whatimeant2say – it got me too)

But there are other things to talk about. Like what everyone said to last week’s poll. (As always, my comments are in italics.)
Here is what you guys like to do when working late:
Experiment with drumbeats the rowers can’t possibly keep up with (BrainRants)
(I believe what you’re looking for is in the Experiment Jazz section.)
As a writer, I always work late, meaning, I stare at the wall and twirl my hair.
(COOL!!! That means I’m a writer too!)
pretend I’m a vampire on a hunt. –goradde
(As long as you don’t sparkle.)
Slaves do not get this, what do you call it? Overtime? Red.
(Of course not. They get salaries. Makes us them so much more agreeable!)
Two words: loud music. Oh! Two more words: run amok. Hilarity ensues. 🙂 ~flame
(Wait – how is that different from the normal workday?)
I’ve never rearranged keyboards before, but I will now! Quirky
(Don’t forget scotchtape under the laser mice!)
masturbate like an amorous howler monkey (Smaktakula)
(Boss might complain less if you do it like an eager beaver…)
type in weird search tags that will lead to Guap’s blog, whatimeant2say
(Thank god that was you – I was preparing for an amorous monkey invasion!)
Change the security code Jester Queen
(If you really want to screw ’em, change the code to the bathrooms! hehehe)
All of the above. I never thought to order surf and turf from the nearest 5 star
(With great petty cash comes great responsibility opportunity!
Disabled but when functioning, play PS3 & blog. Moon Amoore
(WHAT?!? Don’t you know blogging comes first?!?)
Quit my job and go home. NO ONE MAKES ME WORK LATE. –lily
(wait a minute – I thought no one put you in a corner…)
Call the boss every 10 minutes with “important questions”
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
wonder about how to answer this question as I get paid by the hour. (Frank)
(Not sure either, just try to do that thinking on the clock!)
Barely pullout ethernet so no connection on the office assholes computer MotNews
(WOOHOO!!!ANOTHER WINNER!!!)
morezennowlikes to write snarky graffitti on the bossman’s signs
(Is your boss the MTA?)
Lots of Spider Solitaire..and chocolate. Don’t forget the chocolate. Kayjai
(I believe being forced to work late and denied chocolate iqualifies as “cruel and unusual punishment”.)
invite the homeless into the office to restage scenes from Westside Story- Alex
(How about the Little Mermaid instead? You know, so they get washed…)
What is this ‘working’ thing you speak of? sandylikeabeach
(Oh, rub it in, rub it in. Hmph.)
Start talking to myself. And answering back. Out loud. (Kanerva)
(Ah, the lengths we go to for an intelligent conversation…)

Congrats to Anonymous (who vote so many times in these!) and She Speaks for picking this weeks answers! Well done!
And this week’s most popular offered choice was blog. Obviously. Couldn’t agree more folks!

My girl says they remind her of spring. I just know they make me sneeze.


So if you hadn’t figured it out by now, I am possessed by Spring. I’m breathing it, eating and drinking it, living it.
And that might not be good. I may in fact have a medical condition. That’s right – Spring Fever.
So the poll this week is…how am I going to cure it?
As always, vote as often as you like, just do it before the poll closes 29 March at 2359.
And if you write in, let me know who you are and I’ll link back to you next week!

And to keep your health up until next time, enjoy this from someone in pre-law pre-med.

Rock on, blogosphere!

IT. IS. SPRING!!! And time for the Spring/Summer Stupidity!


Today’s Music: Today only, appearing at the bottom of the post.
Day’s Til Spring: 0!!!0!!!0!!!

At last. Spring. I can feel the earth softening, the trees starting to bloom, the hemlines rising.
The most wonderful time of the year is upon us.

Aaaaaaahhhhh…

Which means of course, that it is time for the annual listing of events for those like-minded individuals who really want to go out and play.
So here, more or less, is the (mostly) unexpurgated text of the email that went out the other day. (Apologies for all the non-imbedded links, this was copied right from the emial to keep that raw untamed fee…)
Anyone who wants to join in, let me know. Should be fun…

START EMAIL
Subject: The Spring and Summer Stupid

Well, the seasons have spun around again, and here we are on the verge (once more) of spring.
And if it’s spring, it means it’s time for me to try to drag you all down into the stupid with me.

(Don’t worry, it will be fun. And I’ll try and find bars and restaurants near most of the adventures listed.)

THE REALLY WANT TO DO
Surfing
Going to go with these guys again:
http://www.surflessonsnewyork101.com/

And for those of you that have them they give lessons to kids too. They have all the gear, all you need to do is show up.

Jet Skiing
Off of Coney Island. How can you say no?
http://jettyjumpers.com/

I think they might be the only ones in the city who do this. But come on, jet skiing? within city limits?
I really want to do this, though it is kind of pricey…

Kayaking
A bunch of options here
http://www.hudsonvalleyoutfitters.com/
These guys are a bit north of the city, and they do a bunch of fun tours. Some of them even include lunch! (It will even be dry! If the guide closes his storage bin.)
They also do rentals.

http://www.atlanticoutfitters.us/
These guys are in Port Washington. We’ve rented from them before, and it’s a nice day of paddling alongside the sailboats.

http://www.hudsonriverpark.org/explore/kayakingcp.html
These guys are out of chelsea piers. I’ve seen their kayaks in the water, but know nothing about them. Still, it’s possible…

Stand Up Paddleboarding
This was lots of fun for the hour or so last year. Best of all, it can be done on a weekday in the evening at the same place, which is
http://shop.nykayak.com/Stand-Up-Paddle-Board_ep_46-1.html
(They also do kayaking)
these guys were pretty good, and got all of us (5 people) up on the boards with no real problem.
Atlantic Outfitters above also say they do SUP, so that’s a possibility too.

Camping
Never been. Would like to go. I’m open to considering anything. The only requirement (says The Most Wonderful Girl In The Universe) is that there be clean indoor plumbing available.
Doesn’t sound unreasonable…
So, where are we going to go? The Most Wonderful Girl In The Universe and I should probably just start with a weekend, so we can get used to it.

THE WOULD BE NICE TO DO
Rock Climbing
Indoor is nice. I know of 3 indoor spots:
Chelsea Piers (really nice, but not the cheapest)
http://www.chelseapiers0.pth4.com/sc/club/climbing.cfm?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=chelsea%2520piers%2520rock%2520climbing&utm_campaign=Rock+Wall+Brand+-+G

Brooklyn Boulders (Never heard of them, but I’ll give them a shot…)
http://www.brooklynboulders.com/

Island Rock (Plainview, it’s a nice facility)
http://www.islandrock.net/

There’s another near midtown, but I can’t find a link.

I would really like to get outdoors to climb too. Most of my climbing is in New Paltz
I’ve climbed with these guys ( http://www.high-xposure.com/ ) but the original guy has since retired. We can find other guide services, probably through Rock and Snow. http://www.rockandsnow.com/store/

Flying Trapeze
http://www.trapezeschool.com/default.php
This has been on my list for the last few years, and I’d really like to go if the scheduling can be worked out.

AND KEEP IN MIND
Bike riding in central park (the path also goes past the bouldering area!)
Geocaching
Free summer concerts.

Also, hoping to get to Portland to go Bungee Jumping.

So, that’s what I’ve got.
Feel free to make more suggestions, and lets work out what we want to do when.

And may your warm weather months be as stupid and fun as possible!

/END EMAIL

If anyone wants to come along, or has suggestions to add, let me know in the comments.
And for everyone in the northern hemisphere – CONGRATULATIONS!!! WE MADE IT!!!

And now, for today’s music…
SNOOPY DANCE!!!

Trifecta Challenge: Clean


Today’s Music: White Rabbits – Percussion Gun
Days Til Spring: 1!!!

Tomorrow is the first day of spring. So there’s that to look forward to. Especially for those of you about to slog through my latest entry in the Trifecta Challenge.
As always, the story must be between 33 and 333 words.
This weeks word must illustrate the 3rd definition of
clean (adjective)
c : observing the rules : fair (a clean fight)

As always, any criticisms or suggestions are welcome. I think there’s something off, but I can’t identify what.
And remember, if you help me get better at this, you’re helping yourself too!


Whose Is Bigger
They met on a field bigger than the average playground.
They circled each other, t-shirts drenched in sweat, fire blazing in their eyes.
There was a crowd – some cheering, some hiding their eyes, all of them waiting on the outcome.
One person stood, torn between watching and looking away. She compromised, her long auburn hair making a partial screen between her eyes and the drama unfolding.
One of the men moved. In the blink of an eye, he covered the ground to his opponent, fist lashing out.
The other man moved, even faster. Before the punch could connect, he whipped out his gun and squeezed the trigger.
The sharp retort pushed back the crowd.
The bullet dropped his opponent.

After the crowd had parted and the victor left with the girl, two men moved in to dispose of the body.
“What the hell was that?” asked the first. “That wasn’t a fair fight!”
“All’s fair in love and war” answered the other eruditely.
The first man thought about it for a moment.
“Then I guess he took him clean…”

Happy St Patricks day and Trifecta


Today’s Music: Dropkick Murphys – Fields of Athenry
Days Til Spring: 3!!!

First, and most importantly, HAPPY SAINT PATRICK’S DAY!!!
As I have noted before, I am Irish (and proudly so) by alcohol intake.
Hope all of you have a great day, and don’t do anything stupid with motor vehicles.
Feel free to do anything else stupid you like.

Chicago knows how to celebrate St Pats!

And hear are my Trifecta entries
The weekend word is Lost.

I came up with the second one first, but wrote the first in memory of some horrible times during this wonderful holiday…

Purpose Lost
The fear is overwhelming.
I search, pushing my way through the thick stifling crowd.
Their banter and joy wash past me.
My panic grows worse with each passing moment.
WHERE IS MY PINT?!?

Battle Lost
The metallic speaker spat out the voices from far away.
“Hard to port! FIRE!!!”
“Sir, incomi–”
The speaker crackled, buzzing with a surge of static energy.
The commanders waited through the silence…

Friday Foolishness – Working Late Edition


Today’s Music: Tennessee Ernie Ford – Sixteen Tons
Days Til Spring: 4!!!

It was a looong week. Actually had to work at work. What’s that all about? And at night too! Oh, the guapanity…
But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t lurking about online when I had the chance. And I saw some stuff that made all the work issues a little easier to bear.
ODNT harassed asked Alec Baldwin for a tweet. And he replied!
Ginger Snaap and Lizzie Cracked made some horrendous hilarious additions to the language. And Asplenia was invited running! (This might be the last we hear of her for a while…)
Thanks to them and all the rest of you. You made a long week a little easier to get through.

Of course, some of the extra work was from administering last weeks poll. Because some of you have very…odd ways of waking in spring. And here they are, WhatYou Like To Be Woken By In Spring: (as always, my comments are in italics).
Kisses. Awwwww… ~flame
(Why wait until spring for that? (And great to see you, flame!))
My heart restarting yet again. (BrainRants)
(That doesn’t sound too bad. And here I was thinking it was next to impossible to make you happy!)
the smell of ribeye on a bbq and a freshly opened beer. John Phillips
(Damn, those Canadians like a very hearty breakfast!)
Silence and yet another snow fall (Kanerva)
(Great to see you, Kanerva! And you realize we’re talking about spring, right?)
lilacs, the lovliest and most short-lived scent of beauty in spring… janet
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
Hotspur says: sex.
(Sounds like Hotspur is all talk!)
3 naked Argentinian guys, same as every morning – Alex A.
(But I thought you went to bed with 4 Bolivian me– OOOOOOOH…nevermind.)
Sex, a mimosa & sound of someone else cooking our brekkie in bed. Red
(If someone is cooking in your bed, then where are you having se– OOOOOOOH…nevermind.)
a nice (fill in the blank) – barking in the dark
(A humorous (fill in the comment))
Neighbor’s running whilst I medicate the hangover & scratch things
(Neighbors running from you? That’s one hell of a hangover!)
Coffee…and a good book calling my name.
(Books can say so much. So loudly.)
The Spring Fairy Bitch Slap! —Linda Vernon
(Sounds like someone is getting a little punchy waiting for the equinox!)
The sound of my baby trying to talk. How I wake up everyday.
(Every day? ETERNAL SPRING!!!)
the sound of gunshots when my neighbor tries to silence those chirping birds!
(Please make sure there are no branches by your bedroom window!)
A marching band comprised of mice playing their tiny instruments….
(Ok Cinderella. Stop showin’ off. Or the neighbor from above might come after you…)
A special someone who has BRRRRRAAAIIINNNNSSS and is horny. A Frank Angle
(Let’s see…goats have horns…moose…unicor– OOOOOOOH…nevermind.)
I like to be woken by *blushing* NEVERMIND!!! lizziec
(You too?!? Cripes, you people are obsessed with fu- OOOOOOOH…nevermind.)

So there you have it. Apparently spring brings out the inner bunny in a lot of folks.
Congratulations, Janet on picking the winning answer.
And for anyone wondering, the most popular offered choice was “Don’t know. But if it’s too early, it’ll be the last sound you ever make, buddy!” So obviously, you aren’t all about the love.

Which brings us to this weeks poll.

I hate working late. Sometimes it’s unavoidable. And at one point or another we all have to do it.
So here’s this weeks question. If you write in “Other”, leave your name in the answer too and I’ll link back to you.
Just do it before 2359, on 22 March, because the poll will close forever after that!

And to keep you busy until next week, I leave you with these excellent workday time wasters…


Enjoy your week everyone. But don’t enjoy St Pats too much, or you’ll miss the start of spring!