Today’s Music: Oingo Boingo – Dead Man’s Party
Figured I’d jump into this weeks Trifecta Challenge.
This week it’s the third definition of Observe:
3: to celebrate or solemnize (as a ceremony or festival) in a customary or accepted way
Most of this story is not true. But I did see a guy pull off the stunt at the end, to mass laughter of everyone else there. And the victim took it well, making a god-awful eye pun.
No it wasn’t me.
Oh, and I’m not dead. But if I was, this is exactly how I’d like to be remembered.
Pandemonium reigned over the bar.
Jack dodged a flying banana, his toga flying outward as he whirled out of the missile’s path.
Reaching into his fanny pack, he withdrew a rubber toy car and a foam penguin snout with elastic. He looked through the crowd from his crouched position, picked two likely targets and crept forward before leaping into the fray.
“SPOOOOOONNN!!!” he bellowed lustily. His right arm snapped downward, hurtling the rubber car towards Tommy’s head. It bounced off, landing in Michelle’s Fuzzy Navel with a splash. While everyone turned towards Tommy’s cry of surprise, Jake landed behind Scotty, and deftly snapped the penguin beak over his face.
He didn’t see Karen and Bill sneaking up alongside him, but still wasn’t surprised when they jammed lit cigarettes into each of his nostrils (butt side first).
The bartender rang the bell and yelled over the boisterous crowd
“Scotty dead by beaking! One point!” He shouted. “Made Michelle spill some of her drink. Two points! And,” he added, “bad form for spilled booze – minus 10 points for you Michelle. Sorry honey”.
She stuck her tongue out at him before raising her glass in a toast, rubber car still swirling in her drink.
“Jake, dead by cigarettes. I knew those things would get you eventually, buddy.”
Jake inhaled through his nose, blowing the smoke in thin streams out either side of his mouth. He flipped up the back of his toga and mooned the crowd.
“Eloquent as always, Jake” roared the bartender over the crowds cheers.
Jake thought he’d been in pretty good position to win before he’d been eliminated.
But that was before John slipped his glass eye into Donal’s Bushmills, effectively outdoing every other trickster in the joint.
That Monday at the water cooler, someone asked Jake how he spent the weekend.
“Oh, I went to observe El Guapo day at the bar we used to hang out in. 12 years since he’s been there, but believe me, his spirit lives on.”