(if you’re wondering what’s going on, check here.)
Many of you follow the refreshingly bizarre Edward Hotspur. So you already know he has a thing for Unicorns pissing rainbows. Here’s why. Sorry Hotspur, had to borrow your style for this one.
He was sitting around a campfire, enjoying his gassy beans- no wait, he was enjoying beans and then the gas that followed. He’d taken off his riding boots to relax, setting them to warm next to the fire. A unicorn burst into his campsite setting off mayhem among his compatriots.
They ran around in confusion, dodging the uriney torrent of warm rainbow issuing from the unicorn’s nethers. Only Edward kept his head about him. He reached for a boot, still with its spur on.
Billy Joe Bob Mellissa Jr yelled “You can’t drive off a unicorn with spurs!”
“You can when they’re red hot!” shouted back Edward. He took the boot from the fire, and jammed the red hot spur into an engorged opalescent unicorn testicle.
The unicorn turned bright red, squeaked, and darted off into the woods to find some bactine.
And that’s why he’s known as Edward Hotspur.
Now let’s take a musical break, from someone I was recently introduced to by Mr. Hotspur.
This is Miyavi. He is the hottest chick I’ve seen in a while. (Yes, it’s a guy.)
Scenes From The End Of The Post
I’m writing this at my desk as the sun streams through the windows. You’d think it would be wetter if it was streaming. Unless you’re streaming porn. That could be wet. Unless it’s home improvement porn. Lots of sandpaper. Probably not so wet.
Hold on, boss wants me to do something. Ok, I did something. I told him I wasn’t going to do it. That’s something, right? Might be the last something I do here, but still.
So where was I? Oh, at my desk. So it’s where I am. Can you have been somewhere and say you were there if you’re still there without having been gone anywhere?
Wait – My brain hurts.. I have to stop channelling Edward Hotspur, today’s flashmob victim honoree before my head explodes.
You should check him out. It’s like no other blog you’ve seen.
Rock on Hotspur, and keep on blogging!
Oh, and buy His Book