Trifextra Challenge – MMMMMM!!!


Today’s Music: Def Leppard – Pour Some Sugar On Me

I read a lot. Voraciously even. I’ve mentally consumed thousands if not millions of pages on topics as varied as wave mechanics and quantum physics to Encyclopedia Brown and Bloom County. And I’ve loved almost all of them.

So when the fine folks at Trifecta posed the challenge of retelling a favorite book in just 33 words, my head almost exploded. I mean, how could I pick just one book? And how could I condense the brilliance within to just 33 words?

So I pondered, and thought, mused and ruminated, considered and mulled. And so, with sincere apologies to the Trifecta judges, who do an incredible job developing and judging these challenges (and are occasionally forced to read stuff like this), and to my readers, who I sincerely hope and pray don’t lynch for what I’m about to do, and finally to Joe Hoover, who will probably approve of this one, I present my response to the Trifecta Writing Challenge:

(oh, and I guess an apology to her too)

Butter, butter, butter, butter, sugar, sugar, butter, sugar, bacon, sugar, butter, pork, butter, sugar, sugar, sugar, butter, butter, lard, butter, butter, cream cheese, butter, pork, butter, sugar, sugar, butter, bacon, drippings, diabetes.

Butter!

Have a great weekend y’all, and love and best dishes from Paula’s kitchen to yuuuurs!

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97 responses to “Trifextra Challenge – MMMMMM!!!

  1. This post has also been approved by me

    Like

  2. Hey!!! How did you get my Grandmother’s secret recipe?!?

    You are hilarious! Thanks for the hearty laugh. 😉

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  3. Brilliant! I’m calling it – you win!

    Like

  4. Jennifer Worrell

    My cholesterol just jumped 300 points. My doctor and Lipitor both thank you. LOVE IT!

    Like

  5. An ingenious summation. Now get outta my head please!

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  6. Oh! You had me at ‘butter, butter, butter, butter’!
    And at ‘bacon’.

    Mmmmmmmm, baaaacon.

    Like

  7. I think my arteries just got clogged reading your retelling of “Celebrate” by Paula Deen. Thanks a lot. : )

    Like

  8. Sadly, you were limited by 33 words. I fear you may have missed a few buttery bacon dripping recipes in your review, but otherwise, a most excellent buttery review and a most appropriate song choice. Sweet!

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    • Thank you! I was just going to print some lines from a recipe that called for 33 cups of butter and 3 cups of bacon, but I didn’t know if that actually fit the rules of this one, sandylikeabeach…

      Like

  9. When you mentioned both Bloom County and Encyclopedia Brown I knew instantly that you had good taste. But then you pull the rug out from under me with Paula ‘The Human Heart Attack’ Dean!
    Of course, that’s the fun of being a reading omnivore–you never know where your next meal will come from.

    Like

    • I still read my Bloom County books, Smak. I’m hoping they release a compendium, like The Far Side and Calvin and Hobbes did.

      And I hope you don’t mind if I use the phrase “reading omnivore”. It’s a perfect description!

      Like

    • I was rereading this post and saw this comment.
      Updated – they did release the complete bloom County, and I did reread the whole damn run.
      It still stands up.
      Ack. Thpt.

      Like

  10. oh, I think you should win!!!!!! very very clever!!!!

    best,
    MOV

    Like

  11. Hahah I love Paula! She’s literally insane. I wanted to go on her diet until she got diabetes. Have you ever heard her say olive oil? It’s so weird….

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    • Actually, I think she once did olive oil-cinnamon sugar lollipops once, Lily.
      I believe there was a roux involved.
      And butter.

      Also,as a diabetic, I still love her stuff. Some of it is really good, and so rich you don;t need to eat again for a week.

      Like

  12. Hi,
    Oh that was good, I am still laughing, well done. 😀

    Like

  13. springfieldfem

    Best. Post. Ever.

    Like

  14. springfieldfem

    And also – butter.

    Like

  15. oh, myyyyy – Ms. Paula Dean is hubbymoose’s FAVORITE author by far. He would def. agree with your pick. (I laughed very much when reading this – THANK you!)

    Like

    • Thanks so much Barbara! My girl is also a big fan of hers. Whenever we’re cooking a recipe that calls for sticks of butter, we talk to each other in sugary southern accents.

      Like

  16. AAAAAAAAAhahahahahahahahaha. That really is perfect!!

    Like

  17. Hahaha!! Love it!!

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  18. Oh, this is good. Very creative and clever. Love it!!

    Butter! (Yum.)

    Like

  19. It reminds me of Peanuts butter! ^=^ yummi

    Like

  20. hahahahaha. Peanut butter and bacon, fried on white bread, with fries dredged in mayo. I’m amazed she’d still walking. Great answer to the prompt, and funny as hell. Peace, Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/06/22/the-bible-in-33-words-exactly/

    Like

  21. As a vegetarian, I must object to the use of pork and bacon in this retelling. Also, their removal makes room for more butter, This was hilarious. Thanks for the laugh. Be sure to come back tomorrow for the special 33rd challenge. It’s going to be fun!

    Like

    • Alas, I don’t think Paula does anything without some kind of animal product, Trifecta.
      I’m still not convinced the bacon sundae wasn’t her idea…

      Like

  22. Great piece of writing – concise, brave and to the point.

    Like

  23. Now that’s funny … thus many laughs for me in early morning. Bravo! … and bon apetite.

    Like

  24. One question! Do I liquidize that before or after cooking and would it be ok to have ice cream with it?

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  25. hahaha, that does sum it up pretty well!

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  26. whiteladyinthehood

    Ha! That was funny! I went to one of her shows (she didn’t cook though, I was a little disappointed – she said, “Oh, ya’ll see me cook all the time – let’s just talk..” ) 2 hrs of her talking and people from the audience yelling out ‘BUTTER!’ every five mins….it was hilarious.

    Like

  27. This is so freaking hilarious! This is prefect! Wish I would have thought like this. Wouldn’t have gotten reprimanded by the Trifecta gods for not doing well enough!

    Like

  28. Incredible. You managed to consolidate the entire book by simply eliminating the words add, mix, melt and more. Bravo!

    Like

  29. Thank You for making me laugh today that was very well done. The condensed version was perfect. :+) I’m still chuckling.

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  30. Love it – the last word in particular!

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  31. Umm, I never read it but I’m pretty sure that was plagiarism.

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  32. Hahahahahaha….bacon’s gooooood…

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  33. Brilliant, even before researching the Butter Queen. Now that I get all the references, truly brilliant!

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  34. Love! You are so funny. That’s the perfect summation (and I haven’t even read the book). I smell a winner on my hands… soaked in grease, covered in flour, and deep-fried. Well done, my friend!

    Like

  35. Haha! Brilliant! I love the way your mind works almost as much as I love the way Paula Deens’ mind works. Only she’s got buttery sugary bacon dripping Brraaiinnsss!

    Like

  36. I think this was the best one I read. Perfect description of the book! 🙂

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  37. Guffaw…. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOVE IT!!!!!

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  38. Brilliant, indeed!!! a little overused, here, but I’m certain you don’t mind… I’m just wondering how it all tasted when you were done… you DID try it, right!?!!?!?

    🙂

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  39. Haha, great! Go The Deenster!

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  40. Delicious! Would be even better with a pinch of cardiovascular disease.

    Like

  41. OMG you’re funny. Maybe your butter can go on my honey chicken biscuit.

    Like

Ahem *best Ricky Ricardo voice* Babble-OOOoooo!!!

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