Today’s Music: Nina Simone – I Put A Spell On You
As promised (threatened?) here is the Harry Potter Limerick Omnibus! (Sounds so much more dignified than it really is…)
None of the limericks have been edited, except for the titles to make them more consistent.
Book One: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
A young boy with a scar on his head
His parents, both sadly were dead
When he reached age eleven,
thought he’d been admitted to heaven
But had to fight the “2 headed” teacher instead.
Book Two: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Everyone said that it was a secret
But Harry’s interest was piqued
Guilderoy was no help –
At his own shadow he yelped.
But with a phoenix, the basilisk was beated.
Book Three: Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban
The dog in the bushes was mysterious.
Harry though that he might be delirious
There were a wolf and a mouse
In a very haunted house
but the hero, in the end, was Sirius
Book Four: Harry Potter and The Goblet Of Fire
For Harry, the competition was grim
When it got down to Cedric and him.
They went from the maze
to a field full of graves
Soon-to-be-sparkly Diggory died on a whim…
Book Five: Harry Potter and The Order Of The Phoenix
The fighting was close and intense
Splinters and dust clouds so dense
Sirius turned quite pale
As he went through the veil.
Wait a minute – Love is Harry’s defense?!?
Book Six: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
Sirius had gone through the veil.
In Dark Arts, Snape threatened Harry with “Fail”
But Harry did more
Hangin’ with Dumbledore.
If only he’d built the balcony a rail
Book Seven: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part One
Find the Horcruxii was what Harry must do.
Set off with friends to defeat You Know Who…
But just like the flick –
though it might make you sick –
this limerick will be split into two.
Book Seven: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part Two
Poor Dobby, he laid down his life.
And Ron pissed off his soon-to-be wife
but Harry stood tall,
one (ring) Wand to rule them all
The epilogue: Harry, with happiness, was rife.
There once was a man named El Guapo,
Whose prose where much more than some guano.
About Harry he wrote
And without missing a note,
He sings each of these with bravado.
“More than guano” is the highest praise I could ask for, Frank!
Unless you mean more as in quantity, and not quality…
Only praise worthy! … oh well, no one else seemed to like it. 😦 … but the receiver did 🙂
You’re still with the Harry Potty-thingy… Aren’t you afraid of J. K. Rowling?
Rumor is she hasn’t sorted out how to cross the moat to leave her castle, so I think I’m safe for now, Clown…
HAHAHAHAHAHA. This was me after reading your comment.
Oh joy! I was hoping I’d get a chance to re-read limericks 1-7 (7 having two parts). This really gives “hump day” new meaning — I’m just sayin’, I think this put me over the hump.
I trust you’ll understand if I don’t ask what that new meaning is…
I’m not sure I even know… I think I just wanted to use the word “hump.”
Read this on my phone after I parked my car and guffawed,Lisa. Loudly.
The people in the car next to me looked confused.
You know, I enjoyed each limerick on its own, but having the whole Harry Potter saga up on one page like this. It really speaks to me.
Thanks for enjoying them, Madame Weebles. They speak to me too.
No wait, those are the voices in my head.
I see you tend to give Suzanne a bit of a hard time as do I, now she’s accusing me of teaming up with you so I felt I better follow you and see what you get up to…
A pleasure to meet you, bulldog!
Looking forward to raising a bit of mayhem.
Round of applause!
(This comment probably won’t work in email notifications…
Bravo! I wish I could throw a limerick back but I am limerick challenged. I like the line “At his own shadow he yelped.” I hate to admit this, but I think I’ve yelped at my own shadow before. :+)
I’ve been startled by my own shadow too, Starla.
I’ve tried to put some of me into each limerick.
You know, the crazy bits. 😉
10 likes so far…that’s not so bad 🙂 I’m sure by the end of the day it will reach 100 😉
I’d be happy with no hatemail, RC!
Like the new avatar, glad you updated the name link too!
Thank you bro. 🙂
Love it! I only suck more at limericks than I do with haiku. This rocks!
Thanks so much, Red! One of the next interpretations will be limerick and haiku!
And then I’ll go underground to avoid the wrath of the Literary Police…
I have a bunker under the Grammar Nazi headquarters at my place. I will leave a key under the mat.
Although I’ve never seen a Harry Potter movie or read one of the books (reading is for people who are literate, anyway), but because Rowling’s books have so perniciously infiltrated the popular culture, I was able to appreciate most of what you did. For whatever reason, I’m tickled by the “beated” basilisk.
You should have seen the look of horror on my girl’s face when I showed her phoenix one..
My first comment didn’t go through so reposting. You’re so creative! I hope JKR sees this post. 🙂
I hope she’d have a sense of humor about it!
These are masterpieces! My favorite thing about these is that if you miss one Harry Potter Limerick there’s plenty more on the next Omnibus! Well Done!
Harry Potter limericks truly are the gift that keeps on giving!
Thanks so much, Mitzie!
My “sorting hat” is off to you, oh Master of the Limerick…I doth suspect that Shakespeare is rolling around a bit in his grave..( I know he didn’t write limericks)…
Shakespeare might be rolling just to get out of that damn collar. Seriously, that’s up there with Bell Bottoms and Leisure Suits as a fashion statement.
I’m leaning toward the collar…
Thank you Guapo, now I don’t have to read the books! Very clever of you. 🙂 And really? Did Frank actually rhyme Guapo with guano? Ballsy!
I think Frank is trying to horn in on the limerick fad the kids are into.
Oh, dear. I fear I’m rather late. Loved them all…I’m hangin’ on for Friday.
A pleasure to see you whenever you come by, kayjai.
And Friday can’t come soon enough!
It’s hard to find appropriate words that rhyme with “Snape,” I think. (He just doesn’t look like a grape sort of guy.)
True, Heather. Could have stretched it a bit and gone with “forsake”…
You have competition! Frank’s offering was very good :). Good reading one after another in one stream.
Glad you enjoyed them, Kanerva!
I’m hoping Frank lets loose and starts posting his own limericks…
That reminds me to pop over and say hello, it’s been a while since I’ve visited his blog!
Oh, go! It’s always an interesting tine!
Thank you, thank you! And the Nina Simone song makes it all perfect!
My pleasure, wim2s!
The discarded song choices were America – You Can Do Magic (too goofy) and Heart – Magic Man (too creepy).
STOP. It’s so good. I can’t handle it.
You honor me, J2!
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Guap, it took me way to long to get here, but this is a fabulous collection of the best of the best of Harry Potter. I loved the books and you really did sparkle in writing these, way more than Cedric.
Glad you made it. Even gladder you like them, Elyse!
HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! xD (Okay recovering, sorry.) These are so amazing! Did you come up with them yourself?! If so, you have a true talent, they really are excellent.
Sadly, I have no one to blme but myself, BeckyDay6.
Thanks so much!
Reblogged this on H.E. ELLIS and commented:
Here is a blog from aperitif from my good friend ElGuapo to cleans your palette between bites of my literary distastefulness.
I love “Ron pissed off his soon-to-be-wife.” Classic. 🙂
Thanks HE. I felt that captured the essence of their relationship.
Friggin outstanding! I am impressed 🙂
Lady or Not…Here I Come
Thanks so much Becca!
Careful, Rutabaga – not sure you want to encourage this kind of thing… 😉
Oh you bettcha
Just in case my pingback machine is still broken, you left, ahem, something at my place…or someone did.
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