Today’s Music: Jimmy Buffett – Coconut Telegraph
One day. That’s how long it lasted. We got home from Portland on Sunday morning. By the end of Monday (a day of work, chores and responsibilities), I was exhausted and drained again.
I need another vacation.
Fortunately, mini-breaks were provided in the form of blog posts!
Kayjai gave a great guide on how to tell if you’re too old for a hangover. Stacie put up her first political post about her buddy Paul Ryan, filled with great points!
For all of us working on our novel, Red put up a great opportunity. Bumba cut my liquor bill in half by explaining the meaning of life.
And No Blog Intended gave me a Sunshine Award! Probably because I’m a seething cauldron of nuclear explosiveness.
Well, maybe not. But if you aren’t reading her stuff, dude, you’re missing out.
Thanks to them and all the rest of you. It’s good to know that whenever I need a break from the real world crazies, I can always turn to you guys.
And after that, we can turn to what you said in last weeks poll. We asked how your autobiography should start.. Y’all have some interesting stories to tell! And apparently, several of you are Guapos too!
So here are your opening lines. As always, my comments are literary in italics.
All I ever wanted, in my unique oddball sort of crazy way, was to fit in. Lizzie
(Second line: And then I found wordpress!)
They call me Glumpy Shaver. Linda V
(Ah, but do they call you that to your face?)
[Dueling Banjos, at least the first 27 measures] – liveclay
(I hope that’s the only part of the biography that resembles Deliverance!)
Regrets, i have none, we did what we needed to do. John Phillips
(Soon to be a major motion picture, starring Jason Statham, Jean Claude Van-Damme, and Danny Devito as “Hoss”)
Last night I pooped my pants in public… again. Quirky
(Please tell me there won’t be a scratch and sniff edition.)
Just because they wouldn’t let me fly the last space shuttle, it didn’t mean …(Kanerva, I guess…)
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
Kanerva submitted the space shuttle comment!
(What an odd way to start a biography…)
You know you are in trouble when…Red
(It would be a much shorter book if it were “I was not in trouble when…”)
I’m almost ready to change my domain name to: http://firstname.lastname@example.org
(I hope a dyslexic dog doesn’t beat you to it!)
You must be bored if you’re reading this.-lily
(Your book can replace SkyMall magazine!)
As soon as they pulled the donkey off of me, the midgets started doing crack. Hotspur
(A televangelist autobiography!)
I got your autobiography right here. Brain Tomahawk
(Don’t the edges of the bookcovers hurt stuffed in there?)
Bipolarmuse is the 1st of my personalities, allow me 2 introduce u 2 the others.
(Darryl and your other personality Darryl? (anyone??))
long long ago in a galaxy far far away…(SnB)
(Your story takes place in New Jersey in the ’80s?)
I’m really not as crazy as they say (Elyse 54.5)
(If you have to defend it…)
Oh God. *Sigh* What was I thinking?
(My autobiography has a distinct lack of thinking.)
It was the best of Guapos, it was the worst of Guapos – calahan
(, it was the Guapo of wisdom, it was the Guapo of (wait for it…) FOOLISHNESS!!! Dickens has nothing on us!)
ab·nor·mal/abˈnôrməl/ Adjective: Deviating from what is normal or usual, typical (Stay Abnormal, I’m guessing…)
(Is this Funks autobiography? Or Wagnalls?)
I wse a loleny byo? butimbeautiful
(Sounds like a great story, but fire your proofreader!)
I was born a poor black child.
(Subtitled: Steve Martin’s lesser known but cooler twin)
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was Kayjai time! KJ
(Pre-order now, and get free Hammer pants!)
There once was a man named Guapo (Frank)
(I get the feeling there’s going to be guano in this story too…)
Congratulations to Kanerva for winning this week’s poll! And from the offered choices, the most popular was It was a dark and stormy night. Because I guess a lot of readers live in the Pacific Northwest. Or London. So congratulations to everyone!
Which brings us around to this week. Blogger extraordinaire, President of Canadia, and all-around cool person, KJ is traveling to the land of sun and margaritas. That’s right, Florida will be hosting her and her entourage for a visit! So besides asking you all to be on your best behavior and carefully inventorying your drinking supplies, we want to ask you, what will be the big news from her visit? Jet skiing
on along the beach? Annexing Disney World? Going for a delightful run with the alligators? You tell us.
Pick a headline, or report your own. But report soon, because this one closes at 2359 EST on Thursday, 23 August.
(As always, if you leave an “Other” answer with a way to ID you, I’ll link back to you next week.)
I hope you and yours have a great time, Kayjai!
And for all the rest of us – until she gets back – I leave you with these.
Last week’s “They Call Mr Tibbs” choice got me thinking about classic movies. Here’s the last scene of Casablanca, which I think stands up well against all the other classic scenes in that film.
And second, an excellent clip from Inherit The Wind, based on the Scopes Monkey Trial.
Have a great weekend, y’all. Next week, I’ll be putting up the bungee jump post, possibly with video, definitely with pictures.
And man, does my hair look magnificent!
Hi Guap! So glad you had a great time on your trip. I have to get thinking of a headline. 🙂
Thanks so much! Can’t wait to see what you come up with.
OOPS! I posted under my other identity. 🙂 Let me get back into the phone booth and throw my glasses back on.
Oh, oh, do the one where you go really fast around the revolving door!
Kanerva’s second comment deserved to win
I had 90 different versions of how to respond to her second, John.
I can hear the wheels turning from here.
I love your Friday smackdown, El Guapo. Thanks for the shout-out and have a great weekend….
My pleasure Stacey. You put up a very sane post in the midst of a lot of noise. I hope everyone checks it out.
Another great collection from the readers.If memory correctly serves me, I may have somehow won once. Meanwhile, enjoy your weekend.
You did, Frank. I remember it well, and wit with anticipation your next victory!
Have a great weekend!
Gonna have to rely on a limmerick!
Glad the trip was successful, although exhausting. The sign of a great vacation, sadly, is feeling like you need another when to recover afterwards……Thanks for sharing the casablanca clip too! Haven’t seen that in years – such a classic old movie! Reminds me of a (seedy) bar/nightclub by the same name that I used to frequent in my early 20s while at college. Ah, those were the days!
Of all the bars I’ve been to (and there are many), the local dives are my favorite, Nicky!
Glad you liked the clip. That movie is one of my favorites.
Back again and I didn’t even know you were gone! So really, in my version of history, you were not. Loving ty Friday blog staple, along with Red’s Friday Follies. Thanks again for making the end o’the week a special place to visit! :0
Wow, mentioned in the same breath as Reds follies! (mommasmoneymatters.com).
Thanks Laura – hope you head into your weekend with a smile…
Now, if Red would just finishing going through the hatemail. OMW is it loaded from the post you mentioned! We make a great team to finish everyone’s week, Guap.
We’re the Friday bookends, Red!
Good thing you have mornings BC I would never be able to face all of Friday after the Follies 😉
Even though you’re not sure…I’m glad you’re back on your home turf…AND…nobody does Friday like El Guapo.
We have a special blend of spices that we guard very carefully, zannyro!
I think you should start a franchise…just sayin’,
You know, I’ve never seen Inherit the Wind. I need to put that on my “to watch” list.
You have my sympathies about needing a new vacation after one day back at work. Good thing it’s Friday. Have a good weekend, El G!
I read the play years ago for a class and loved it. I was happy to see that the filmed version stood up to it. And a great cast too, Madame Weebles.
Hope you have a fun weekend too!
Mickey Mouse Found Drunk and Unconscius In Everglades. Again — that made me laugh so hard! It’s always a treat to come see what your up to! Can’t wait to read your bungee story.
And there will be lots of pictures too!
Of the jump. Not Mickey Mouse.
I was feeling bad for you having to settle in after vacation. Until I came upon the public pants pooper. Then she got my sympathy. 😉
Ah well. Can’t say she isn’t more deserving of sympathy, Carrie…
Great links! Glad you’re back even though vacations are never long enough!
Thanks Susie. I’d like to still be out there, but there’s a lot to be said for sleeping in ones own bed.
Isn’t that the truth! I brought my pillow with me when I went back to Wisconsin which helped a lot!
That’s a great idea! I’ll have to think about that next time I travel…
And don’t forget your satin pillow case! 🙂
I’m one of the small minority that doesn’t like satin.
I’m a cotton kind of guy!
Well you wouldn’t want to get funny looks while walking through the hotel lobby with your satin pillow!
Sorry you’re feeling drained after only one day. Every problem I’ve ever had in my life can be traced back to draining easily so I can certainly empathize! But maybe that scratch and sniff edition will snap you out of it! On the other had falling to the floor in an exhausted heap is underrated.
Are you sure that scratch and sniff wouldn’t hasten the falling to the floor, Linda?
Welcome home, Guap–was that Portland, Maine or Oregon? Given your location, I’d guess Maine, but I’m curious. They’re both neat cities; I’ve actually lived & worked in Portland, Oregon. Portland, Maine is pretty. I spent a day driving around there. People talk funny in Maine.
Great selection of stuff today. I’d already read Bumba’s piece, but it was worth seeing again. I was especially impressed with the Paul Ryan piece. For some reason, the way you described it, I figured it would either be a “Vote Republican” or a “Never Vote Republican” piece. When you said “friend,” you weren’t being tongue-in-cheek.
Oregon, Smak. Maine is pretty, but too…quiet. great climbing up there though!
Glad you liked Stacie’s piece. I thought it was the tone political discourse should be, and well written as well.
Wow Guapo, thanks for reminding me of that scene from Inherit The Wind, it’s one of my favorites. I may have to re-watch that this weekend, and speaking of weekends…..you should take some time to relax and enjoy yours!
Thanks Alex, I’m hoping to.
Another flick I was considering for the post was the original 12 Angry Men, with Henry Fonda and a spectacular cast.
Maybe a double feature for the weekend…
Cool! I love movies with great courtroom scenes. Another couple of good ones are The Fountainhead and Judgement at Nuremberg (which has a minor role played by an amazingly young William Shatner!)
You know, I never saw either of those.
Did read The Fountainhead, and I enjoyed it, but for the story, not hte philosophy.
I LOVED The Fountainhead, I consider it to be one of the best novels I’ve ever read. The film isn’t nearly as good, but that’s usually the case. Definitely check out Judgement at Nuremberg if you get the chance.
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My favorite: “It was the best of Guapos, it was the worst of Guapos.” I can’t wait to see the bungee post!
Calahan came very close to being the winner for invoking Dickens, Asplenia.
Working on that post now…
“Round up the usual suspects” will always be one of my favorite movie lines!
Yes, it’s a great line, especially the way he delivers it!
Glad you liked the clip, wim2s.
EG, great post. laughed my tuchus off at the ‘opening book lines’ submitted. Hope you had Big Fun and get a vaction to recover from the vacation. Always feel the same way.
The Casablanca ending is a truly classic scene. Now I’m gonna pop in the DVD and watch it this week.
Great to see you, Miss B. One has to wonder how your autobiography would begin!
have a fun relaxing weekend.
“I was born a poor Black child….”
Canada vs. Florida is a fight I’d pay big money to see on pay-per-view.
I think the mosquitos would be the only winners there, Eric.
I’m here and in FLA and well!! Love the post we are rocking! Enjoy! Lots o’ love!!!!
Not sure what happened there . It was me ^
Fantastic!!! Have a great time, Kayjai – can’t wait to hear about it!
I think we’ve found an opening line for every chapter of the Guap Chronicles, part I at least.
I’m slightly awed to have been pronounced the winner – please excuse me while I do the happy dance 🙂
Have a great weekend!
You are rocking the happy dance, Kanerva! And a well deserved win too!
Thanks for your compliments, Guapo :). I’m happy to see my vote (It was
a dark and stormy night) won! Now it’s just a case of writing the rest…
You’re welcome, NBI. And i meant it all. (Except the seething cauldron part.)
This is so very funny, Guapo! You should be in charge of those polls they have before the election, it would so liven things up. Ps did i tell you my great grandfather was the guy responsible for ‘it was a dark and stormy night’? He has a competition named after him, for the worst opening line in fiction.
That’s not a bad idea, beautiful! The information I get couldn’t be any worse than the real pollers!
I’d heard of the competition. Honored to meet someone with a direct line to the greatness of that sentence!
I think Linda Vernon (http://lindavernon.wordpress.com) won that competition one year!
My autobio intro didn’t show up. Maybe that should be the intro itself because I never seem to get thigns right. See what I mean? ❤
Gah – that’s totally my fault. No idea how I missed, it, and I’m really sorry Stacy!
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