A Literary Limerick (and Haiku!) – Star Wars: A New Hope

Today’s Music: Meco – Star Wars Theme/Cantina
Note on today’s music: If you’ve never heard this disco version, you should click the link.

Continuing in the tradition of disrespect for the classics, El Guapo is proud to present his latest invitation to be sued by the copyright holders of great works.
Today, we turn our literary Tourette’s on the Star Wars saga.
(There was a novelization of the movie I owned as boy. So there.)

This one is actually based on a request. Love & Lunchmeat asked if Star Wars could be done. Possibly in Haiku.
As we are ecstatic that anyone pays any attention to these at all, we are happy to oblige.

A note on Haiku: it is a venerated Japanese art form. The traditional structure is 17 “on“. On are not the same as syllables. I have no idea what they are, so I don’t feel bad about the meter here at all.

One other note on this series: This will be episodes 4, 5 and 6. Not 1, 2 or 3.
Star Wars. Not Star Wars: The Quest To Cash In.

A battle of good versus evil.

A son inherits more than a lightsaber.

Dude, don’t kiss you sister.

Star Wars
A New Hope
He grew up fast, in confusion and blur.
“For luck” she said as he kissed her.
In the trench he shot true
No more Death Star for you!

But dude, you just kissed your sister!!!

And just to cleanse your palate, here’s Bill Murray’s lyrics from an old old Saturday Night Live skit.

68 responses to “A Literary Limerick (and Haiku!) – Star Wars: A New Hope

  1. Maybe if the movies would have incorporated your poetry, I would have liked them better. I’m apparently the only American who was blasΓ© about these movies. Is that treason?


  2. Your Star Wars Haiku/ Is awesome,but you forgot / “Luke,I’m your Father”.

    Yeah, I won’t be quitting my day job to write in Haiku anytime soon.


  3. I love the Haiku! Dont kiss your sister! LOL, love it.
    Great post… had me smiling. β™₯


  4. Dude, spoiler alert!


  5. Inspiring me, you are.
    Hair By Cinnabon
    Abbot and Costello Droids
    Damn right Han Shot First


  6. Profound, Guap. You really managed to capture the essence of Star Wars here. it’s like I’m watching the movie all over again. Also, I love that Bill Murray sketch. I like singing the theme every so often, it’s fun.


  7. I love both the limerick and haiku, well done! I also love Star Wars, but please, PLEASE, Guapo, don’t ask me to watch Bill Murry.


  8. So funny! Love the video!


  9. LOL! So funny Guap. Why is it I never noticed that before! These are hilarious! And the look on Luke’s face really cracks me up! πŸ˜€


  10. A gripping life

    With these two outstanding efforts, you’ve helped me to wash away all memories of Harry Potter, which is no easy feat. Bravo! Excellent Guapo!! (my favorite line… Dude, don’t kiss your sister.)


  11. Perfect.

    You know you should publish a collection of these. About 30 years ago, there was a clever little book called “Shrinklets” that condensed all of the great works of literature. you could make your fortune (or at least lunch monet) doing a haiku version of pop fiction!


  12. free penny press

    Why this phrase “literary Tourette’s ” cracked me up I don’t know.. remind me not to read your posts while 2 work because I just spit coffee all over my desk while laughing..:-)


  13. Love the Haiku, especially that last line. Yep, made for a rather interesting family re-union at the Skywalkers.


  14. So thrilled am I for
    Star Wars haiku but you must
    watch your syllables!

    And… courtesy of Mr. Lunchmeat:

    You say “I love you”
    Awaiting cold carbonite
    I say that I know.

    Don’t be too proud, your
    technological terror
    no match for the Force.

    He’s quite good, I know.
    That’s why I married him, for
    the Star Wars haiku.


  15. Loved the haiku and the limerick. I usually enjoy your haiku & limericks, but especially here, because unlike Harry Potter, I’ve seen and loved the Star Wars movies (although I’m with you regarding the dream-crushing Parts I, II & III). You are wise to remind us that sister-kissing is poor form north of the Mason-Dixon.

    I have heard the Cantina disco song, but it was a long time ago, but in a galaxy right, right here.


  16. I’ve never actually seen Starwars…should chuck it on my bucket list πŸ™‚


  17. I’ve never understood the appeal of Star Wars. And Princess Leila – just no! Although I did once see it done by one guy (the whole trilogy) in a single hour long performance in a theatre.


  18. Usually I can’t stand that freakin’ Haiku
    but your interpretation is definitely spot on πŸ™‚

    Yes El Guapo that means
    that I like your version πŸ™‚ lol
    Have a ghoulishly dark and
    wicked one today my friend…



    • Thank you, Androgoth.
      Now I just have to think of two more to finish off the set…

      Afternoon there now, so I hope you are well prepared for your evening!
      Unless you prefer the surprise! πŸ˜‰


  19. Dude..
    I was ho…..I mean….well what am
    With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility

    On that think, you should. πŸ˜‰


  20. whiteladyinthehood

    LMAO! Dude, don’t kiss your sister – too, too funny!


  21. I love your limericks!
    And this post reminds me of the time we had to write a haiku in Latin. They can be so challenging, right?
    Once more: I adore your humour, Guapo. I just adore it. I’m going to hang a poster of your humour at my walls. Seriously.


    • Thanks so much, NBI!
      I only know (think?) two things about haiku:
      – an “On” doesn’t translate to syllable
      – the lines shouldn’t be a directly continuous sentence, but should infer a relationship.

      I don’t know if that’s true, but it does make a fun challenge. I would love to speak another language well enough to Haiku in it!


  22. I LOVE your limericks!


  23. Thanks, Guap. I was having limerick withdrawals. ❀


  24. I’m glad you went with Episodes 4, 5, and 6. The others don’t really count in my book.


  25. I thought all my comments were babbled into oblivion?


  26. “Dude, don’t kiss your sister.” PERFECT CLOSING LINE!!
    I very much enjoy these!


  27. Very cool headphone hairstyle πŸ˜€


  28. It’s what? Been almost a week since you posted this and I just had to come back to look at it again…I just love it..”But Dude, you kissed your sister!”
    Love it,love it,love it!


  29. Pingback: A Literary Limerick (And Haiku!) – Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back | Guapola

  30. Pingback: A Literary Limerick (And Haiku!) – Star Wars: Return of the Jedi | Guapola

  31. Riddled with Ewoks πŸ™‚ lol



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