Monthly Archives: September 2012

Friday Foolishness – Said and Done Edition

Today’s Music: Alfredo Armenteros (Chocolate) -Controlate
Note on Today’s Music: Apropos of nothing, some times you just need a little Cuban jazz to perk yourself up.

Instead of the usual highlighting of great blogs in this space, I’m going to keep it for me for a short serious moment before the foolishness: You. All. Rock.
The comments you left after my last post left me with smiles, warm fuzzies, and reinforcement in the belief that the people I’ve met online are the coolest people in the world.

And for that, and just being around, thank you! from the bottom of my heart.

But the show goes on, and these polls are such a delight for me that pushing on with them is therapy.
Last week’s poll asked What the next form of transportation should be. As always, y’all do not disappoint! Here’s what you said (My answers move along in italics.)
1981 DeLorean DMC-12. Naturally (Kanerva)
(Sure, until some crazy old scientist decides to turn it into a time machine. Seriously, who turns a Delorean into a time machine?!?)
a hearse…c’mon…it fits the theme (WG)
(Yeah,but that’s kind of a one way trip…)
Telekinesis. Afraid those w cranial concavity would call discrimination-Red
(I doubt they’d be able to understand it well enough to know they’re being discriminated against…)
The Transporter from Star Trek (SnB)
(It’s all fun and games until you’re destroyed by a plot device.)
A soul train, where we leave our bodies behind – Benzeknees
(Bring in ‘da Noise, Bring in ‘da Funk (Google it))
Sprout wings and fly!! Michelle at Motley News
(I believe Red Bull will be contacting you shortly.)
Warp Drive! Seriously – I read a thing on Yahoo about it. – Hotspur
(If it’s on the internet it must be true!)
Your back….you should really carry me around…Becca
(I’d love to, but the monkey on my back is heavy enought)
Wormholes but not the kind of holes worms go through – sandylikeabeach
(How about Pot holes? hehehe)
Fold arms and blink eyes (like Genie) (Stacy Lyn)
(I love travelling into a bottle!)
I vote for a bicycle with an easy chair for a seat. (Those tiny seats are awful!) Asplenia
(I’d rather just have the easy chair and stay in place…)
mental transport! Just thinking should be enough! NBI
(That eliminates 95% of the population.)
Otherwise something free and dry and comfy. NBI
(Travel by bed. I like it!)
Magic Carpets Stay Abnormal
(Ok, but you’ll need a flying broomstick to clean it…)
Magic Carpet. What can I say? I’m a romantic. ~flame
(So I’m guessing your carpet is “shag”.)
Pneumatic tube. Carrie Cannibalistic Nerd
Elephants! We need this in the Western world! – Emily@ the Waiting
(I don’t know how to get on one, but they sure are easy to get off!)
Portals seem pretty classy – 25tofly
(The cake is a lie. (Google it.))
Piggybacking on dwarves. Joe Hoover
(Wouldn’t your feet drag along the ground?)
Portkey like in Harry Potter. I’m not using a toilet though. KJ
(Nono, you should use the toilet before you travel…)
Mental … just think about it and you’re transported! (Frank)
(Is a York Peppermint Patty the trigger?)
urban ziplines
(At last! A form of mass transit I’ll get a seat on!)

Congratulations to Carrie Cannibalistic Nerd
for this weeks winning answer! And from the available choices, the most popular was Jetpack. We really should have those by now. Hell. Yes. And congratulations to everyone who picked that too.

So here we are at this week. For me, rough week. Not impossible, just difficult. Since my mother did go through a long period of decline, her passing was not unexpected, which made it a little easier to process. And the relief that she is no longer suffering really does make it easier to take.
Fortunately, I also have a bent sense of humor. Which means that after she’s been interred, I’m left thinking about today’s question: When the time comes, what do I want done with my body?
Yeah, sometimes I think my sense of humor is the only thing that keeps me from going insane. Or keeps me insane. One of the two…
So here’s the poll. If you write an “other”, leave a way to identify you, and I’ll link back in next week’s post. Answer early, answer often. But answer by 2359 EST, 4 Oct. Because that’s when this one closes.

And in parting for the week, a clip including two things my mother loved: Muppets and Star Wars.
Hope you all enjoy it too.

And until next time, have a great week!

…and life goes on…

Today’s Music: Jimmy Buffett – Pencil Thin Mustache
Note on Today’s Music: I play a lot of Jimmy Buffett. One day my mother heard this and asked what it was. Whenever I put in a Jimmy Buffett tape/CD after that, she’d ask if this song was on it.

Rest in peace, Mom. The best mother a son could ask for.

A Literary Limerick (And Haiku!) – Star Wars: Return of the Jedi

Today’s Music: Brian Hyland – Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini

Well, we’ve come to the end of our journey. The final haiku/limerick combination for Star Wars.
Thanks to Kayjai for thumping me on twitter and finally getting me to write the damn thing. (Plus, now I can rag her until she finishes the Kevin story. Seriously, it’s been a while since the last installment.)
And a special thanks to Mike Calahan for reminding me that this could only end with Ewoks.
(For those interested, it started here, and continued here.)

But now, we return to a time long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

And because this is the third movie of the trilogy (Trilogy. Those horrible bits called Episodes 1, 2, and 3 are dead to me), we’re giving you three, yes three limericks to send this one off!
So without further ado, here we go.
And may the force be with you!

Star Wars
Return Of The Jedi

Beware, It’s a trap!

That Luke finds good in Vader

Leia is not Han’s sister.

It ends with a big funeral pyre,
bathrobes as mystical attire
Good defeated bad
By all, a great time was had.

Oh George, couldn’t you then just retire?

Turns out Vader wasn’t such a big meanie.
Son Luke used the force like a genie
The plan from Akbars squid-head
left the Death Star for dead,

And we saw Leia, in a gold plated bikini

Vader stopped lightning, with his deft agile blocks.
The new Death Star – reduced to burnt rocks
The force was at rest.
This tale could’ve been the best,

but alas, it was riddled with Ewoks

Trifextra – Three Thirds Of Cheesey (In Thirty Three Words)

Today’s Music: Billy Idol – Cradle of Love Live
Note on Today’s Music: Check the lyrics at 1:58. Yeah, describes the post perfectly.

Today marks the first day of Autumn, my least favorite season. Not that there aren’t things to do in the fall. but the cooling of the weather and the turning of the leaves always makes me a bit melancholy.

So to perk myself up, why not totally misinterpret another Trifecta challenge?

Actually, it’s a great challenge, and I hope you all check it out and enter your own responses. But shoot for the top – I’ve pretty sure mine already wins the race to the bottom.
(And by the way,thanks to the magic of twitter, this is HER fault. Follow that link for a great example of how these shouldbe done!)

Here’s the challenge:
Describe something that is three different things at the same time. – Trifextra

The possibilities are endless!

Here’s my entry. Apologies in advance.

I empty the package, split it in thirds.
Children use a third for interpretive wall art.
One third crushed, mixed with water. It makes a perfect spackle.
I eat one third.
Mmmm. Cheetos…

And I hope you have a great weekend!

Friday Foolishness – From Here To There Edition

Today’s Music: Ned’s Atomic Dustbin – Kill Your Television

Wow, I suck. I was barely out in the sphere this week. One of the sad side effects of real life is that sometimes it’s such a timesuck. But I did get to see a few good posts.
Running On Sober ran 18 miles. Without timing it.
Mel is taking ballet lessons, and finally,
Jell Jell had a baby!!!

If y’all knew how much I enjoyed reading all your stuff, you might charge me for the privilege

In other “last week” news, we asked about themed donuts, and what would be a good way to make a donut. Wow, y’all have some…interesting ideas about pastries. here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are sprinkled in italics.)
Glazed…enough said. –kbar3
(There’s always room for the classics!)
Bacon. Red.
(For when sugar and filling are not bad enough for your cholesterol…)
Who Dat? (haha) (Stacy Lyn)
(Who da man! Anyone? Anyone? )
Depression Destroyer : laced with all the happy pills a person could ever need Amy
(The FDA might have something to say about this…)
Donut Hell

(I see your Simpsons Donuts, and raise you Death By Donut.)

Donut jelly – John Phillips
(Even easier to dribble all over your shirt!)
Coffee Flavoured – Decaf and Regular – John Phillips
(Decaf? Heathen.)
Donut filled cream pie – John Phillips
A vibrating donut – ooh that’s bad John Phillips
(Damn right that’s bad. All my jelly and sprinkles falli- Ohhhhhhhh…)
Congrats On Your First Colonoscopy donut!
(As long as it’s not a colonoscopy flavored donut.)
Decorate and make them look like Krispy Kremes. Michelle at Motley News
(But then everyone will want to eat them. STAY AWAY FROM MY KRISPY KREMES!!!)
Harry Potter themed donut with a wrapper with your limerick on it! ~Wonderbutt
(That’s an upgrade from the fish people usually wrap my limericks in!)
The most luscious no calorie donut by Benzeknees
(Wouldn’t that be a sugar free doughy life-saver?)
A Hertz Donut. “What’s A Hertz Donut?” OW!
(It’s like getting punched in the brain.)
Bacon-flavored donut with bacon-flavored ice cream on top – Hotspur
(I’m afraid to ask – what’s the filling?)
Hahaha, HULK DONUTT!!!! –asplenia
(Make it angry. You’d like it when it was angry.)
GingerSnaap, Zannyro, Alex, or Kanerva (Frank)
(Sounds like that would be a very sticky donut. With an attitude…)
Why a Dallas Cowboy donut!!
(Why indeed?)
Cupcake donuts! Deep-fried cupcakes. Both. —Jell Jell
(Wait – I thought the cravings would be gone by now…)
The Houdini…watch it disappear. Stay Abnormal
(Or drown it in milk! Too soon?)
The Science Channel Black Hole Donut Lindav
(I would pay a lot of money to hear Morgan Freeman narrate my donut eating.)
The Tasmanian Donut. This mini tornado is a blast to eat! If you can catch it..
(It’s not the catching that scares me. It’s the cleaning up afterwards. Powdered sugar everywhere…)
Black holes – sandylikeabeach
(Such a strong force, not even deliciousness can escape. Until you eat it!)
Motorboat donut….they have twin peaks
(Yeah,but wouldn’t you want that to have a happy ending?)
An Everlasting an Everlasting Gobstopper –Mel at According to Mags
(I don’t think I’ve ever sucked on a donut. Well, except for that one time….)
Orgasmic & Gingerlicious
(I hope you use protection. Another napkin, dear?)
Canadian donut-Beer soaked, Maple syrup drizzled, topped with Can. Bacon. KJ
(Bonus: recycle old ones as hockey pucks!)
The Nobody Will Judge You for Eating Me donut Elyse 54.5
(People will judge you when you eat donuts. And think you’re AWESOME!!!)

Congratulations to John Phillips for this weeks winning answer. And from the available choices, the most popular was Dr Who donut – It’s bigger on the inside. So congratulations to all you lucky donut choosers too!

This week, our thoughts turn to travel. The car. The bicycle. The pogo stick
All noble and historic forms of transportation. But it’s the 21st century now.
So we ask, can’t we find a better way to get around? You tell me.
Leave your name in your answer, and we’ll link back to you next week. But do it before 27 Sept, because that’s when this one ends.

And until next time, enjoy this. Eddie Izzard’s bit about the Death Star cafeteria.
If you haven’t seen this before, you’re in for a treat. If you have seen it, then you know it will be fun to watch again!

Ok, I’m finishing this up at 0055 EST. Because sometimes WP likes to eat the posts.
So I hope y’all have a fun weekend, a great week, and I’ll see you when I see you.

A Literary Limerick – Reapers With Issues

Today’s Music: Kings X – Black Flag

I’ve been going pretty strong with the limericks lately. Mostly, they’re a fun way to poke fun at cultural icons. Out of all of them though, there has been one so far that I actually wanted to work well.
It was for a blogger I like, and I wanted to convey some of the fun and story of the book she’d written.

Well, she’s written another. And it’s hilarious.
She’ll tell you straight up, it isn’t for the dogmatic. It pokes fun at Jesus. It pokes (maybe bludgeons would be a better word?) at god and at the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
About the only character in this ensemble that comes off like I would expect is Lucifer. Except for the track suit. Too hellish even for him.

I’m not even going to try and explain this one. Think of it as a view of quite possibly the worst middle management situation under…well, under heaven and earth.

Everyone that stops by here has a great sense of humor, and y’all have been able to take some of the most inane jokes. I think you would enjoy reading through the book.

At the very least, you’ll be able to understand the limericks!
The first actually holds to the plot. the second…well, reread it after you’ve read the book. It’ll make sense then.
And possibly make you feel a bit ill while you laugh…

Reapers With Issues
Reapers known as the Apocalyptic Four,
overworked, downtrodden and sore
Lucifer trapped Jesus and his pup.
Managed to gum almost everything up!

But Grim, on his horse, settled the score

Reapers With Issues (for those who’ve read it!)
Each Reaper had a favorite meat-suit
For acting in ill-repute
Jesus would have none of it
While Lucifer made fun of it.

Oh, and Genghis thought the doggie was cute.

And I hope you go check out H.E. Ellis and her Reaper cohorts

Friday Foolishness – Pastry Edition

Today’s Music: Sex Pistols – God Save The Queen

Well, the seasons have started to change. New York City is still warm, but the humidity is way down.
But things are still hot in the sphere. there was some great stuff this week.
Carrie said very bad things about Raiders of the Lost Ark.
This isn’t last week, but tomorrow, Frank from A Frank Angle is putting up his One Thousandth post! And he’s throwing a party. If you have a few minutes, stop by and enjoy a Shiner Bock. Before Alex drinks them all.
And finally, Cayman Thorn bestowed upon me a One Lovely Blog Award. I don’t know about that, but good lord, if you haven’t already, CHECK HIM OUT! Class act, with a wicked sense of humor, and I love getting a new post email from him!

Wow, those are all great blogs!” you’re saying. “But what about last week?”
Last week we talked about the state of education, and What we should teach instead.
And boy, do you guys know how to corrupt train young minds!
Here’s what you said. (As always, my answers make the grade in italics.)

Something causing students not to ask “Why do I have to learn this?” (Frank)
(I think a muzzle would be more useful than a class.)
useful things. Like, useful. Like, no nonsense. Please! NBI
(Perhaps a class on specificity?)
The difference between “lose” and “loose” – Carrie Cannibalistic Nerd
(Can’t teach that. It’s a major source of revenue for the Grammar Police.)
teach kids to pull up their damn pants (SnB)
(Or a class on how to buy clothes that fit.)
The air speed velocity of an unladen swallow and how to tell the diff between the African and European Varieties.. Lizzie C
(I have an excellent video for that class.)
Reading, Riting & Rithmetic by Benzeknees.
(And spelling…)
Sexual intercourse and drugmaking 101 – GingerSnaap
(Is the teacher from Breaking Bad available?)
How to interact with real people. In person. Outside. ~flame
(Would this be an online course?)
summer vacation Lindav
(Oh, kids study for that all semester long.)
how to grow money on trees
tolerance towards cows… zannyro
(That’s udderly ridiculous.)
the Flying Spaghetti Monster along with evolution and creationism. – calahan
(Throw in the Invisible Pink Unicorn too! (Google it))
how to prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse!! (words&otherthings)
(As a matter of fact, the Center for Disease Control is one step ahead of you. )
And that YOLO is not something to base decisions off of. (words&otherthings)
(What do you have against Yoohoo- oh, sorry. Read that wrong.)
How to defend themselves from a Zombie Apocalypse-Kbar3
(There’s an app for that.)
How to find a job Stay Abnormal
(These days, that’s more of an infomercial than a class…)
Monkeys to dance. Dancing monkeys are the coolest.
(If they can type Hamlet, surely they can dance.)
Haikus and Limericks for the deeply disturbed. Grippy
(Sadly I think that’s something you’re just born with. Sigh…)
preachers keep on preachin, lovers keep on lovin, till I get to higher ground. –BT
(It’s extra credit if they get the bass line right.)
The proper way to mix momma a martini. KJ
(We teach that in Pre-K)
Gadget History: turntables, wall phones, cassettes, remoteless TVs (Kanerva)
(Tried that. Had to update the syllabus every two weeks for the newly obsolete….)

Congratulations to the anonymous devil with this week’s winning answer! And from the offered choices, the most popular was To not name their kids anything even remotely like “Honey Boo Boo” or “Snooki”.
Sad that something like that actually needs to be taught…

Which brings us to this week. So last night on my way home, I stopped at Dunkin Donuts. Because I love Donuts.
Don’t judge.
Anyway, there on a sad looking tray were vanilla frosted donuts with green icing stripes on top. Yes. An NY Jets themed donut.
What a waste of pastry. (Get over it. We already know they’re going to lose.)
And it made me wonder – what would be a good theme for a donut? And that’s this weeks poll.
So dunk your answers in once. Or twice. Or more. but dunk them by 2359 EST on 20 September, because that’s when this one closes.

And in parting, I leave you with this video.
I saw this on The Waiting blog, and it was too…odd not to post here. Whtaever it is, it involves checking your watch while pretending to ride a horse, apparently.
Ginger, play it to the end for more from the man in yellow!

Have a great week, everyone, and see you out there, Gangnam Style!