Today’s Music: Brian Hyland – Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
Well, we’ve come to the end of our journey. The final haiku/limerick combination for Star Wars.
Thanks to Kayjai for thumping me on twitter and finally getting me to write the damn thing. (Plus, now I can rag her until she finishes the Kevin story. Seriously, it’s been a while since the last installment.)
And a special thanks to Mike Calahan for reminding me that this could only end with Ewoks.
(For those interested, it started here, and continued here.)
But now, we return to a time long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away…
And because this is the third movie of the trilogy (Trilogy. Those horrible bits called Episodes 1, 2, and 3 are dead to me), we’re giving you three, yes three limericks to send this one off!
So without further ado, here we go.
And may the force be with you!
Star Wars
Return Of The Jedi
Beware, It’s a trap!
That Luke finds good in Vader
Leia is not Han’s sister.
It ends with a big funeral pyre,
bathrobes as mystical attire
Good defeated bad
By all, a great time was had.
Oh George, couldn’t you then just retire?
Turns out Vader wasn’t such a big meanie.
Son Luke used the force like a genie
The plan from Akbars squid-head
left the Death Star for dead,
And we saw Leia, in a gold plated bikini
Vader stopped lightning, with his deft agile blocks.
The new Death Star – reduced to burnt rocks
The force was at rest.
This tale could’ve been the best,
but alas, it was riddled with Ewoks
Guapola 
Ah Ha!! Success…Yay you! And I was kinda hoping you didn’t notice my Kevin story has stalled. Dammit…I guess I’ll get to writing, then. Right now I’m delving deep into the bowels of attempting to understand American Politics…so far, I’m confused…
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We’re all confused about American politics, kayjai.
The candidates most of all, I think.
Hey, if you string out the next few chapters of Kevin, you can make it last a whole year! (Hmph.)
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The way it’s going now, it will be a ten year saga. I’ll see what I can do….thanks for the pinch. BTW..Ouch!
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Did people think Leia was HAN’s sister?
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God, I hope not.
Just thought I’d tie it back to the first limerick on the way out…
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The first thing is a haiku? It has 7 syllables in the last line. Oh, sorry…. um… Han Sulu shot first!
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://farm5.staticflickr.com/4143/4784375382_50db8f9cc7.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.flickr.com/photos/scalpod/4784375382/&h=375&w=375&sz=51&tbnid=nTYhVRMnNbyb-M:&tbnh=98&tbnw=98&zoom=1&usg=__-orp8Nc3AAKXKMUofkqm6FBhWKw=&docid=VXDUXWaq_qMYJM&hl=en&sa=X&ei=FKthUKq-KcXs0gGf_YFw&ved=0CCcQ9QEwAg&dur=1040
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Of course Han shot first.
In my (minimal) study of Haiku, the lines are measure in “Oh”, which are not the same as a syllables.
Due to that, and the fact that I rarely let rules get in the way of the joke, my conscience is clear.
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On are in kanji, not romaji!
As for the picture: Oh myyy.
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Hey, whichever version lets me play with the rules..
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And that picture was painful.
Hilarious.
But painful.
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This is excellent work. You even managed to squeeze in the gold plated bikini. (No! Of course I don’t mean YOU, Guapo, put on that bikini — although now that I think about it, I might like to see that? LOL!)
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Thanks Lisa!
And I can see I’m going to have to be even more careful with my online comments! 😉
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Hahaha! Too funny. There is nothing better than a morning that starts out with Ewoks and gold plated bikinis!
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Thank you Susie.
As long as they aren’t Ewoks in gold plated bikinis.
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They did wear those funny little leather outfits right?? The Ewoks were my favorite!
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Ok, you can stone me.. I have never seen Star Wars..I know, I’m weird…
But I love your Limerick 🙂
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You can download Star Wars to your new iphone!
Only then will you know the power of the dark side of the force!
(Wait, that means nothing to you, does it?) 🙂
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Haha.. does it help Ihttps://public-api.wordpress.com/rest/?notes_iframe like Princess Lea’s hairstyle?
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Do you like the hairstyle, or just cinnamon buns?
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I think cinnamon buns.. yes, her hairstyle makes me hungry..lol
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Making another comment for no particular reason, am I!
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Spam filter when needed, where is it?
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First and third ones rocked!
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You’re too kind, Becca.
I think I should have stopped with the haiku.
Or the day before I started…
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No way man!
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Great stuff, but I was hoping for a ‘weenie’ to rhyme with genie, meanie, and bikini…
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GAH!!!! Where were you when I was writing these, Carrie?!?
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Eating a weenie, while conversing with a genie wearing a mean bikini.
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“Akbar’s squid-head” –> nice! I see what you did there. 🙂
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As long as you also saw the oddest head in sci-fi in your mind!
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I don’t know, Guap. I think even Ewoks have there place in the design of things. Maybe. ❤
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I’d rather know what Freud has to say about George Lucas’ obsession with teddy bears,Stacy.
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Freud would say the same thing about Ewoks as he did about everything else. Envy. You know what kind. ❤
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*their (Oh, the horror!) ❤
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Ewoks! I love cute & furry – please don’t hate on Ewoks!
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I’ll grant you that they aren’t near as bad as Jar-Jar, Benze.
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And a Haiku?? Wow…you are really branching out! I love it!
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I think the haiku is a sign of further (if possible) mental destabilization…
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I’ve actually met people who thought Han was Leia’s brother. But they were idiots. Also, Ewoks!!!
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I guess Star Wars is just many things to many people, M Weebles…
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Brilliantly done oh Knight of the Limerick!
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Why thank you sir!
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I would like to suggest that you now do this with Gone With The Wind…that classic tale….I would love to see what you could do with, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn”…..Oh and also…” I don’t know nothin’ about birthin’ no babies”…….
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I’ve actually never read Gone With The Wind, zannyro.
But I’ll add the request to the lineup!
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I thing you’d need to find an abbreviated version…probably watching the Carol Burnett version would be good enough……I’m sure that your line-up is a mile long already!
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Can never get enough good books.
Watched part of the clip you put up. Looking forward to checking out the rest when there’s time.
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“Oh George, couldn’t you then just retire?” – Hilarious!!! I couldn’t agree more! The first 3 installments were the best. Great work, Guapo!
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Thank you whitelady! I just may be too old to appreciate episodes 1 2 and 3…
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me, too
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I really liked these!!!
Sooz
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Thanks dreamshadow59!
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Call me Sooz
Muah!!!
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Thanks you, I will!
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but alas, it was riddled with Ewoks
Yeah, I thought they were cool as hell as a kid, but I can do without them now. I agree with you on Parts I, II & III–it’s better to pretend those abortions never happened. I have mixed feelings, because I believe that a creator (i.e., Mr. Lucas) should have control over his own intellectual property, and do with it as he likes. HOWEVER, when you create something that resonates with a broad segment of the population so intensely, I think you have a responsibility not to eff it up.
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Every so often, I still enjoy watching them, Smak.
It would be nicer if George still made the originals available instead of pulling the old every time he tweaks them.
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I hope you’re working on that compilation …
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I love limericks, and Harry Potter, too. 🙂 well done.
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I like it, now try this little jingle…
You have to try saying it as fast
as you can okay? 🙂
One Smart Fellah, He Felt Smart
Two Smart Fellah’s, They Felt Smart
Three Smart Fellah’s, They Felt Smart
They ALL Felt Smart Together…
Now say that out loud… And fast…
Then get your wife and her friends
on with it, I guarantee you will have
a few laughs with this one Guap 🙂
Have a fun rest of evening and thank you
for your generous comment over at Red’s 🙂
I appreciate it 🙂 🙂
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Alas Poet, I ran into that tongue twister long long ago, and learned my lesson well!
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Yes it is a bit old hat that one
but it still packs a mean punch 🙂 lol
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😉
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