Friday Foolishness – Sportsmanlike Edition


Today’s Music: Erin McKeown – Blackbirds

Being sick sucks! Going to work sucks too. Geez Guap, is there anything that doesn’t suck? Well yeah, besides living with TMWGITU, reading blogs doesn’t suck! Here’s some of what I saw this week:
Momshieb asked what’s in a name. Old Dog New Tits, According To Mags and Lady or Not are all in the running for a Circle of Moms award! (Just find their names on the Circle of Moms page and vote for all of them!). And Susie Lindau revealed her heart in an unexpected way.
(*Update – UndercoverL is also in the running for Circle of Moms! http://www.circleofmoms.com/blogger/so-i-went-undercover?blogroll_id=89)
Great reads, as were all the posts I got to see this week!
Sick
But now, the roving eye of this blog turns back to last week. I was (still am a bit) sick. And as proof, I’ve got a stack of used tissues that would choke a pig.
(If pigs were inclined to chew on used tissues without pausing to swallow first and perhaps wash them down with a nice full bodied red.)
(What? Used tissues are a hearty meal!)
(I mean, or so I’ve heard…)
(*crap*)
Anyway, the question was, what was in those tissues. Or more specifically, what the hell was coming out of my nose?!?
Based on your diagnoses, I was happy to learn that Toys R Us had restarted their mail order MD program. Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are dripping in italics.)

No idea but your sleeve looks shiny 😦 Gray Dawster
(Oh that’s just my sparkling personality.)
(Ok,it isn’t really…)

Big Green Candles I Bet? 😦 Gray Dawster
(Wait – you mean this goop is flammable?!?)
Bone fragments from banging your head on your desk (polysyllabicprofundities )
(That’s formica. It was a cheap desk.)
It wa…s…not very nice 😦 Gray Dawster
(I think you…blew…that joke. BWAHAHAHAHA!)
My fingers?
(Hey, if you have to ask…)
Unbaptized Catholic children. damned Uncle Priest! ~Miss R
(Actually, if they were in my nose, they were baptised. Very, very baptised.)
The Green Party… Gray Dawster
(Mucus as political commentary? Eh, why not…)
Sprouty Smelly Farts 😦 Gray Dawster
(No, those make my eyes run.)
Spaghetti on Rye I think? Gray Dawster
(Wouldn’t all that starch make it dryer?)
Taylor Swift’s new single
(That’s being dispensed about four feet down and behind me…)
Brain- melted from all the poll answers ~ (Feel better. That is an order…hold the sauce.) Red.
(Holding the sauce with both hands! And now tipping it to my lips…)
Just plain awesomeness,,your overbrimming with it!
(Being so awesome never felt so crappy! No wait, that’s not right…)
“A strange, new life form, and a new civilisation.” (Star Trek)
(So I’m guessing cough syrup violates the prime directive?)
“Concentrated evil”, according to “Family Guy”. (John E.)
(I’d rather have “diffuse apathy”…)
Your last shreds of dignity. (John E.)
(You thought I had dignity? We’ve never met, have we…)
The same that’s left when you put snails and leech on a bag and put salt on them – Doggy’s Style
(A French restaurant?)
Peggy Fleming-lindavernon
(Only if she’s dancing the phlegmenco…)
My lungs! Lorre ((Articles of Absurdity) (Dose of Justice))
(What the hell are your lungs doing in my nose?!? Again?!?)
Braided hair. – Lily In Canada
(No no, the nose dreadlocks are what keep things in!)
Leprechans. Little green men. Elyse 54.5
(This is not the gold they’re looking for…)
Pretty sure its your soul.
(I thought my soul was that stuff that comes out of my ears?)
The second-best part of you…? Full Metal Jacket anyone? (UndercoverL)
(If you think I have less-than-the-best parts, you need to stop talking to my exes!)
Brown? ha ha – Hotspur
(Oh Mr. Hotspur, that’s easily your funniest answer ever! Oh, Such wit sir! My goodness, I can’t stop laughing!!!)
your sins x, Becca
(Big as it is, no way my nose is big enough to pass those out!)
The Magic School Bus x, Becca
(Well, schools buses are hotbeds of infection incuba- I mean…kids…)
Tiny aliens. x, Becca
(I know this calls for nose jokes, but I can’t resist Uranus…)
Gobs of pure genius! benzeknees
(So that’s where all my talent went…)
Did that stuff in your nose have little feet? Facts=diagnosis..zannyro
(No, definitely not little…)
I think shit is running out of my nose, but I might have just blown my ass…PMAO
(Then those probably weren’t your ears you were popping…)
Acid. Most definitely acid. – The Bumble Files
(No – the doctor says that burning sensation is something else…)
nutella (SnB)
(Even tastier than it looks in the commercials!)
those pictures you took of your butt on the copier at work! (words&otherthings)
(Funny story, they had to replace the glass after. Ok, maybe not funny. Or painless…)
Satan. –KBar3 – MMR
(This is a general sickness. Everyone knows the devil is in the details…)
Nyquil. You should read my blog and drink at the same time. Too much funny.
(I read. I laughed. Now there’s snot all over my monitor.)
Nothing that nasal flossing with spaghetti can’t cure (Frank)
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
Pixie Stick Sugar- you’re supposed to inhale them, not exhale! GingerPixieSnaap
(If I let her, TMWGITU would have picked this as the winner. (She refuses to admit she has a pixie stick problem.))
Hopefully beer,from laughing too hard. GingerWishes
(I’m glad it’s not – I’d be morally obligated to drink what spilled!)
Raisins. You were testing out Emily’s theory- wrong end, Guap! SnaapyAnswer!
(There is no right end for raisins!!! Bleagh.)
Snacks! (Rutabaga – the person not what came out of your nose)
(I’m pretty sure I’ve sneezed up at least a person so far…)
A rubber hose! Remember? Welcome Back Kotter? No? Nevermind. Grippy
(What if it’s the latest dance moves instead?)

The by-product of raisins. –Emily @ The Waiting
(I don’t want to know how raisins got in me in the first place…)
Captain Tripps (Addie)
(Why doesn’t Stephen King have an awful novel I can mock?!?)
A Petrie dish delight. Just blow w/ Clorox Wipes and you should be set.-Mel
(I prefer afternoon delights…)

Congratulations to Frank for this week’s winning answer! And from the offered choices, the most popular was BRRRAAAAIIIINNNNSSSSS!!!!!!!! (It fits!). So if that’s true, it’s probably the reason if the quality of these polls gets even lower…
Superbowl
After spending way too much time trying to think up a poll this week (my coworkers all thought the glazed look on my face was from working too hard!), I realized that sunday is the Super Bowl! A ready made topic for a lazy guy like me!
I’m hoping to possibly go skiing. But the important question is what will you be doing? That’s the poll folks. So answer as often as you like (before or after the game), but answer before 7 Feb, 2013 at 1159 EST, because that’s when this one closes.

And until next week, I leave you with these.
This first one I’m shamelessly stealing from Lady or Not.

And this is one of the first ads for Glenn Beck’s new amusement park, Libertypendence Park!

That’s all I’ve got. Hope you all have a great week, and I’ll see y’all out there!

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109 responses to “Friday Foolishness – Sportsmanlike Edition

  1. I’m sad that you are still feeling sick…and I can now sympathize even more since I’m home with the stomach flu….ugh. At least January is officially over!! Get better!! I’ll send a pony if that would help. πŸ˜‰

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  2. SO far, my flu shot has held up. I’m keeping my fingers crossed it continues to do so. Sorry Capt’n Tripps tripped you up.

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  3. Not sure about pigs, but my history of dogs indicates they love used tissues. And feminine hygiene products. And diapers. Why do I have a dog again?

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  4. Awww, you’re sick ElGuap? Feel better! Get some hearty chicken soup in ye. I died laughing at this: “I’ve got a stack of used tissues that would choke a pig. (If pigs were inclined to chew on used tissues without pausing to swallow first and perhaps wash them down with a nice full bodied red.)” hahahaha!!

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  5. allright dammit – how did I miss it – my answer was awesomesauce… ewww and I thought I left a comment about being afraid when you said being sick inspired you and the title of running ….oh yea.. I was nervous – maybe it was a herring.. (I have to keep using it you started it and have yet to acknowledge the herring in the room)… awesome foolishness and lookie me… by the time i hit post I wont be first but i am right up there AGAIN1 Tell me I am not starting this year out right huh? huh?.ok Have a super duper weekend and um you knwo the drill – (say hi to TMWGITU for me πŸ˜‰ )

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  6. haha! The Lie detector video is supes funny. (I got that from Lil)
    Love the clip of Vinnie Barbarino – classic 70’s.
    Have a beautiful weekend, my friend – stay warm!
    Grippy

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  7. Thanks for the shout out, Guapo. My girl thinks you’re funny, too. Wanna put on a wig and some chunky heels and come compete in the Top 25 Funny Moms contest with us? You can borrow my lipstick.

    Happy weekend!

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  8. Thanks for the mention! You never know if someone would stumble by and benefit from learning something about their heart. I hope you come out of the funk soon!

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  9. Ooh, you were right, Guap. That 4 & 20 Blackbirds song rocks. I was surprised to hear the smooth crispness of her voice, kinda had a Siouxsie/Peek a Boo vibe to it–very nice!

    Not sure that skiing counts as resting up, but if you go, I hope you have a great time!

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    • Good cool on Siouxsie, RoS! I hadn’t caught that, but yeah, I see it now.
      Regardless of my physical condition (quite coughy), the Skiing is mental chicken soup – just to be able to do something that isn’t work or recovering from sick.

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  10. Aren’t all of your amusement parks fashioned after Libertypendence park? I swear I’ve been there before….hope you’re feeling better!

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  11. I give you credit for putting in so much work into your posts, my friend!
    You’re the best friend a blogger could ask for!

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  12. Sorry you’ve been sick. The fact that you were still able to put this post together tells me that you do indeed have a clone. Or a ‘Mini-Me’ like Austin Powers.

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  13. Bahahaha, “no one is the boss of you, but YOU!”

    I’m sorry you’re all sick and stuff, feel better soon! You’re running out of stuff to blow out of your nose!

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  14. I’m glad I lost to one of my hometown favorites….however, TMWGITU is obviously a genius!!

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    • I saw Frank’s answer, and a second later the visual hit me. No way I couldn’t pick that, Ginger.
      And she is a genius (Except in her taste in husbands, for which I’m very, very lucky!)

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  15. Hope you are on the mend – I liked the Catholic Priest answer – what is the Super Bowel?

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  16. Thanks hon! Feel better. ((Hugs))

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  17. Sorry you’re still feeling “yucky”…..I could tell you something REALLY funny to make you laugh…but then everyone would know WAY to much about my husband….

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  18. Thanks, Guap, for helping me figure out where to go on my next vacation. Libertypendence Park it is!

    Feel better.

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  19. whiteladyinthehood

    Yes, feel better Guapo! If you’re still up for the skiing trip – hope you have blast and hope you share the story with us. Have a great weekend!

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  20. I am sorry that microscopic organisms are kicking your ass…

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  21. Hope you’re feeling better Guapo, the fact that it’s Friday should help some! And WTF? Libertypendence park??!!
    Enjoy the slopes, something tells me you’ll make it!

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  22. Lol I loved all the videos! That really made my Friday a happy one! The lie detector is great…I need one of those.

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  23. Hey Guap, sorry that you’re sick, but you seem to have the right attitude about it. I’m just sick enough to feel lousy, but not sick enough not to do all the crap I’ve gotta do. Lame.

    That Glenn Beck thing started out super-funny, but I think they got overambitious there toward the end. It got to the point where I thought they were going to say “And here’s our hell exhibit, where you can see all the unwed mothers and Hindus burning in the flames.” Lately we spend too much time demonizing those who feel differently than we do. Glenn Beck does it, and Glenn Beck’s opponents do it, too.

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    • The level of discourse is definitely still declining, Smak.
      But this video was done by a guy with a show on Glenn Becks network,so I’m not sure if it was done as an attack on him, or as friendly mocking.

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  24. Those videos were funny. Is Glenn Beck really going to have a theme park? I hope you feel better and get to go skiing!! Have a great weekend. I suppose I will watch the Super Bowl.

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    • I hope he doesn’t, Bumble. But there’s already a creationist theme park, so…
      Enjoy the game. Spoiler alert – the commercials will probably be the best part.

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  25. Have fun skiing – wish I could join you! ❀

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  26. Glad you’re feeling better, hope you continue along the path of better-feeling.

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  27. Hope you feel better soon.

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  28. Guapamole, you could have taken that sick-hand-face picture on your own and not ripped it off another site. Silly, sick man. (Sick-hand-face reminds me of the time I threw up in a night club… never mind. Nothing to see here, folks. Move along.)

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  29. BRRRRAAAAIIIIINNNNNSSSSS!!!!!

    And thrown the tissues away man!

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  30. Maybe you can use the stuff coming out of your nose to “wax” your skis? Go skiing & have a great time!

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  31. What you need is a caribbean island overun with scantily clad nymphs, the energy of a monkey troop on weed, and… Mind you with that horrible virus that you still have I think that a sit down and a good rest will be better, unless you know otherwise of course? πŸ˜‰ lol

    It has been fun calling in here πŸ™‚

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  32. Snot is running down his nose
    Greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes
    Hey Aqualung

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    • Aqualung

      Sitting on a park bench
      eyeing little girls with bad intent.
      Snot running down his nose
      greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes.
      Drying in the cold sun
      Watching as the frilly panties run.
      Feeling like a dead duck
      spitting out pieces of his broken luck.
      Sun streaking cold
      an old man wandering lonely.
      Taking time
      the only way he knows.
      Leg hurting bad,
      as he bends to pick a dog-end
      he goes down to the bog
      and warms his feet.

      Feeling alone
      the army’s up the rode
      salvation Γ  la mode and
      a cup of tea.
      Aqualung my friend
      don’t start away uneasy
      you poor old sod, you see, it’s only me.
      Do you still remember
      December’s foggy freeze
      when the ice that
      clings on to your beard is
      screaming agony.
      And you snatch your rattling last breaths
      with deep-sea-diver sounds,
      and the flowers bloom like
      madness in the spring.

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    • Is this post going to win a grammy for best heavy metal post?

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  33. Thank you for the shout out, Guap! You need soup. I need to make you soup. Green boogies just cry out for soup. Chicken noodle or beef and barley? You name it, I got it!!

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  34. Ooh, ooh! I met Vinny Barbarino once.
    So sorry I missed the booger issue. I’m in on this one. Hope you get to feeling better soon, Guap.

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  35. Your lead up to the Super Bowl is just the opposite of most Americans. You’re supposed to get sick the day AFTER. I see you’re a Somee card fan, I love those guys. Finally, greeting cards with a pulse. And the lie detector vid is classic. As for Libertydependence Park, I couldn’t find it in my Google search. Must be another Obama conspiracy.

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  36. Hope you get well soon! And don’t come too close – everyone around me has been sick already. It’s a hype and I’m a hipster, you know. I was ill three years ago!

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  37. Phlemenco… your italics never cease to entertain me! I hope your employer knows how underutilized your services are in the Humor & Wit Dept (assuming you don’t work there already…). Glad you’re feeling a bit better and have some great diagnosisesis(?) from the Toys R Us School of F**kery. Not to be obscene….

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    • Thanks Laura!
      I actually told HR the other day that I couldn’t believe I wasn’t better rewarded for my charm and wit. They said they’d look into it.
      I am not optimistic…

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  38. I’m sorry you are still suffering. Unfortunately, it took both of us more that a month before we really felt better! Keep reading those blogs and being cheered by what you find!
    Sending love for a recovery soon! πŸ™‚

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  39. Gosh, I hope you recover soon. Dimples has been sick all week, too. And leaving snotty tissues all over the house. It’s only a matter of time before I join the leagues of runny nosers.

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  40. Love Kotter still. Wish you felt better. I am still trying to fill my sleepometer after the last three weeks.

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  41. free penny press

    EG- hope by now you are on the mend.. and you can set fire to that yicky pile of tissues!!
    Feel better my friend and hope the new week is a good one for you!

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  42. OMG! The videos restore my faith in mankind. Libertpendencepark! LOL! Thank you for bringing this moment of wonderfulness to me Guap via the magic of Guapblogpark!! And I hope you feel better soon. Just keep rereading this post over and over again. Laughter is the best medicine! πŸ˜€

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  43. Pingback: Friday Foolishness – Slathered Edition | Guapola

  44. OMG … I really did win!!!! … and I thought you were just being nice. Woo hoo! Ohio is on a roll.

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Ahem *best Ricky Ricardo voice* Babble-OOOoooo!!!

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