Beatnik Poetry Slam – Vacation


Today’s Music: Iggy Pop – The Passenger

Feel the intensity of poetry. And my porkpie hat.

Feel the intensity of poetry.
And my porkpie hat.


*Zildjian Clevis whips two shiny silver spoons from his pockets, one in each hand. He moves them both to his right hand, and slowly at first but gaining speed, clacks, plunks and drums them together in a rising crescendo of madness, then-
silence…*
*El Guapo strides to the stage, clove cigarette in hand, travel brochures overflowing his pockets, ostrich feather rising from his porkpie hat

He takes a long drag on the cigarette, the scent of cloves and fresh cut glass permeating the coffee house. He nods to Zildjian*

Vacation
*plunk*
The car…
The steed.
*ching*
Gleams in the sun in the driveway.
We sort…
*clack*
We stuff.
Everything in its appointed place.
The water…
The snacks.
The GPS as a beacon.
*ch-ch-ch-chrak*
Our clothes…
Our toys.
To accompany us on our way.
We journey…
*plinkety-plinkplink*
Ever onward.
The road unrolls before us.
The miles…
The hours.
*plunk*
Quiet companionship interrupted by a question:

“Did you lock the front door?”
*chk-chk-chk-chrak*
Crap.

We turn around…
*plink*

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146 responses to “Beatnik Poetry Slam – Vacation

  1. Silly, I can still pick the lock!

    Like

  2. Coolacious… why do they call those porkpies anyway?

    Like

    • Why thank you, Miss!
      Hope you enjoy the rainforest-non-exploitative-picked-by-octegenarians coffee we server at this coffeehouse.

      It’s fresh roasted!

      Like

  3. Brilliant …. and I’m one who worries about the front door, even though we seldom use it. …. does this also mean you are vacationing?

    Like

  4. Lol!! Where’s the fresh vut grass smell from?Is I the RUGGED laundry soap? This may be your best yet Dude.. course I may have missed one or two but.. you nailed it.. (I’d lock the front door with the lowjack thing too.. jus saying.. ginger really is good at the locks.. and we ..I mean yea tou cooked before leaving right?

    Like

  5. I never wonder if I locked the door, but I do always wonder if I put the garage door down. Sometimes I go back to check. Hope you have a fantastic vacation!

    Like

  6. Here’s an actual spontaneous poem I recited at an open mike in Greenwich Village circa 1984:

    “This old house …

    I’m carrying these boards out the front door …

    Look at that trash!”

    Needless to say, there were copious amounts of alcohol involved.

    Like

  7. Hard to get a word in lol. Long scroll. That used to be a worry, but it has since been trumped by the gas stove.

    Like

  8. Now that you’ve turned around to lock the door, might as well check to see if you turned off the coffee pot. Would it be better to lose your Hawaiian shirts to a squatter or to lose them to a fire? ❤

    Like

  9. Maynard G. Krebs would be proud!

    Like

  10. I just had a fantasy with the guy in the porkpie hat. Something about pork and pies and something else.

    Like

  11. Hahaha, things always go like that! I didn’t see this coming though. Well done Guapo! *applause*

    Like

  12. I was going to comment on your beatalicious poetry, but then got thinking about pork. I am fucking hungry.

    Like

  13. Loved this, Guapo!! Very clever and funny. That’s the worst feeling when you wonder if you turned off the stove, unplugged the iron, the coffee maker… 🙂

    Like

  14. Zildjian??? Zildjian?? He always makes my ears ring!! Is he related to Harmonica Clevis??

    Like

  15. Ha! Most of the time I worry I’ve forgotten one of my kids.

    Like

  16. It don’t rhyme dude – but I like the hat. Plinky plinky plonk

    Like

  17. Finger snaps! Finger snaps! Waving a leftover lighter back & forth!

    Like

  18. Way cool, man. The iron is already unplugged. Yes, I did some ironing before we head out to pick up the princess. We took off on the motorcycle once only for me to tell hubby to go back home – I forgot my sunglasses. When we arrived home, I realized I was wearing them. Stupid Ray-Bans.

    Like

    • If I had a dollar for every time I did that, I’d have enough to by Zildjian a new spoon!

      Did that once, and five friends were helping me look for them, all laughing while they did. When I realized they were on my head, they all broke out laughing even harder.

      Like

  19. Ah, but is your refrigerator running?

    Like

  20. whiteladyinthehood

    Marvelous, Guapo!

    Like

  21. This is brilliant, I wonder how many in reality do this exact same thing, I know that I have popped out in the car only to return, checking the windows are shut and still trying the door as I leave again, crackers springs to mind here me thinks? 🙂 lmao

    You have a fine talent for these poetry offerings Guap and your Friday Foolishness posts are simple awesome, I will be participating in those when I officially return at the end of this month, yes I have been busy, well busy buying a laptop and playing with my new toy but of course there has been a few chapters written also, oh yes I am good at multi tasking you know, a beer in one hand, a chocolate bar in the other, that kind of thing 🙂 Nooooooo seriously I have done a bit, not much but enough me thinks? 🙂 lmao I will be back again soon Guap so be good, or downright bloody naughty, just like me 🙂 lol

    Andro

    Like

    • Thanks Andro. I figure if I get a reaction from my girl, they’re weird enough to post!

      Looking forward to your return, and have a great weekend.

      Like

      • Yes well I definitely like your style, as does everyone else that frequents your fine Space so please continue doing exactly what you are doing now, adding a variety that everyone wants 🙂

        I will be back more often soon my
        great friend and I hope that your weekend
        rocks too 🙂

        Andro

        Like

  22. Guap, I can just picture you with one of those little hats on with a clove cigarette. I had no idea it was called a porkpie hat! Ah, the front door. There’s always something to forget.

    Like

  23. Cute post, Guapo! You always get folks talking! I have an award for you, the Shine On Award. http://wp.me/p2jC53-1D5 Please accept it as my gratitude for the pleasure of blogging and babbling with you. 🙂 Marsha 🙂

    Like

  24. Completely not me. I so rarely lock the thing it matters not to me. It is certainly not something to turn around to check. Now, to get the things I left on the end table I walked by on my way out the door so I would not forget them? Those are horses of a completely different color.

    Like

  25. oh no! I am not alone in asking if I locked the door long after we got to our destination. It’s maddening.

    When I was still in Manila, I used to waste my time going back again and again to my apartment (or the office – whenever I worked alone and had to lock the doors) just to check (again and again) if I locked the door. Oh, the many worries and time I wasted.

    Like

    • Oh, I’m right there with you! I think we should attach a light to the door that changes colors for whether it’s locked or not.
      Of course, then I’d forget what each color meant.

      Like

Ahem *best Ricky Ricardo voice* Babble-OOOoooo!!!

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