Daily Archives: 4 October, 2013

Friday Foolishness – Sausage Edition

Today’s Music: Lake Street Dive – Elijah

Did you see it? On your calendar? Yes! It’s Friday! At last. And as we say goodbye to the week, here’s a quick look back on some of what I saw…
The Tina once bought a house. Brain Rants had some…interesting words for Congress“.
And since this month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, here are the blogs of two women that have escaped abusive pasts. Nicole Warner and Behind the Mask of Abuse have both moved beyond difficult situations and gone on to thrive. Check out their sites for some great writing, and if you or anyone you know is a victim of Domestic Violence, there is help and support, and no reason you should have to endure that.

I'll take "Mustache Wax vs Chest Hair" for $1.99, Alex.

I’ll take “Mustache Wax vs Chest Hair” for $1.99, Alex.

On a lighter note, there was last week’s poll. Then, we didn’t ask anything. Instead we left it up to you. And as I’ve come to expect, you didn’t disappoint. Here’s what you asked. (As always, my comments are inquisitive in italics.)

Why do the clergy insist on making bacon? Andro
(The grease is an excellent lubricant.)
Why is your pet ostrich so interested in that camel toe? Andro
(Because it makes good shelter from flung monkey poop.)
Why do hobo’s eat sausages out of dumpsters? Andro
(Because no one leaves sausages in their waterbeds anymore. Sadly.)
Why does your girlfriend hold the banana that way? Andro
(It’s not a banana. She’s just happy to see me.)
What brains instead of avocados in the aspic, what gives Mother Teresa?Linda Vernon
(It gives Mother Theresa gas, that’s what.)
If nobody cares, why did Jimmy crack corn? (Frank)
(For the same reasons Froggy went a’ courtin’…)
A sphincter says what? (Who said that?) (Is that two questions?) (Stacy)
(I’d have to check the Congressional Record to find out exactly.)
(And no more Wayne and Garth for you.)

Why are the best tasting foods always the worst for us? –Lily In Canada
(Or in the immortal words of Socrates “This is delicious. Hemlock you say?”)
Why did your accomplice stick that knife in your cake?
(It was self defense, Your Honor. He backed into the knife 72 times.)
Mommy, where do babies come from? (UndercoverL)
Does a bear s**t in the woods? (UndercoverL)
(Is that a euphemism for our political situation?)
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Benzeknees
(About as many pickled peppers as Peter Piper picks.)
Why are you laughing? thematticuskingdom
(Because I just watched a Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam walk into a bar!)
Where am I? thematticuskingdom
(More importantly, what is that smell?)
Who are you? thematticuskingdom
(Wait – which me are you addressing?)
What time is it?
(*crosses entry off bucket list*)

pmao asks… mmmm?
(I can’t answer, as I’m not sure what you ate…)
Why? Rutabaga
What is…I didn’t know she was married, Alex? Twindaddy
(Sadly, that question is a Daily Double.)
Why is the Friday Foolishness Quiz guacamole free? Kanerva
(You obviously can’t see the food bits in my keyboard.)
What was the question? Confused Ginger
What the hell? Guap Has Snaapped!
(Nono, just “a” hell…)

Congratulations to you all for confusing the hell out of me this week! Seriously, I pulled out hair working on this one. Ok, it was nose hair. And I used a flowbee. But still…
And from the offered choices, the most popular was a tie between BRRRAAAIIIINNNNSSSSS and Because if I put it in my belly button, I’d have to explain it to my parole officer. Which makes perfect sense…to someone…somewhere.
Well, now that I’ve made it through that round, this week I figured I’d go a different way and tap into U.S. current events. With the government shutdown, lots of things are closed, and lots of people are temporarily unemployed.
Sadly, Congressmen still get paid. but if they didn’t what would they do to make money in the interim? That’s what we’re asking. Get your answers in by Wednesday, 9 October, 2359 EDT, because that’s when this one ends. (And if you leave an “Other” answer, leave a way to identify you, and I’ll link back next week.)

So to send us all into a hopefully fun weekend, enjoy these…
Sometimes, Sesame Street is all you need.

And other times, you need the Muppets.

Have a great week, all!