Today’s Music: The Allman Brothers Band – Jessica
*Note on Today’s Music: I absolutely love this song. Hope you enjoy it too.
Days Til Spring: 16!!!
And if you can, please help out Merbear.===========================>>>
“Live every day like it’s your last!”
I’m not a big fan of that phrase. To me it always meant “Go out and accomplish every dream you have NOW!!!!”
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for accomplishing dreams (the more inane the better!), but do you have any idea how exhausting that would be???
I took a vacation once. Spent a day sailing on the Caribbean, two days scuba diving, drinking and wandering every night, then came home with just enough time to pick up a pair of tickets from someone and drive out to the beach for a concert.
Went back to work the next day, and called in sick the next day because I was beat. Plum tuckered out.
I needed a vacation to recover from my vacation.
I personally couldn’t imagine doing everything I want to do every single day.
But there’s one stunt that I could do say once a month.
Go rock climbing.
In scuba gear.
No, wait, stay with me here.
Strap the flippers to my back, and wear extra padding under the scuba tank. Which would be under the parachute. (If you’ve been reading me for a while, you know where this is going.)
Do a nice six or seven hundred foot climb up a cliff face. Drink a lot of water on the way (wetsuits are ridiculously warm). Get to the top, step away from the edge and enjoy the view.
Step a few feet further back from the edge.
Then run like hell…and…LEAP!!!
Like this, but from a cliff.
In a wetsuit.
Sail off the cliff cackling with only the piece of mind that barely-functional insanity can provide!
Clear the cliff and toss the pilot chute up, dragging the main chute out. (Do it fast. It takes four hundred feet for the canopy to open.)
At ten feet off the water, pull all of the chute harness’ quick release pulls. Arms crossed over the chest (still holding the flippers. You didn’t drop them, did you?), point your toes because you’re still moving pretty fast, and…SPLOOSH!
Fit on the mask and the flippers.
Swim at a leisurely pace underwater to the nearest unattended jetski.
Ditch the tank and vest (flippers too), climb on, and throttle up towards the nearest tropical beach.
Find one not too busy, with a thatched roof bar restaurant visible from the water.
Crank the throttle and ride that puppy right on to the beach. Extra points if there’s a boat ramp and you leap that sucker with a flying dismount towards the bar.
I can see the jail from here!
Pull the Hawaiian shirt out of your bag, put on the shades, and order the lobster for dinner. And a drink. With a lot of rum.
Could you imagine trying to do that daily???
But just once, wow, would it make a hell of a day!
And how are you spending your tuesday?
Guapola 
Thanks a lot, Guapo! I had a nice, calm Tuesday planned at my little desk, with my little job and safe little walls. All of the sudden, I’m completely antsy and searching the basement for that darned wet suit. How did you know that cliff diving in flippers was my weakness?
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It’s the dreams that make it possible to get through another day in the cube farm.
Who doesn’t have a thing for flippers???
(Mine are black and dayglo green!)
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I love watching people walk in flippers. It makes me laugh every time. Note to self: upgrade to dayglo green
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PS: I’ll be sure to listen to that awesome song as soon as the boys in this house wake up 😉
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That song blows me away every time I hear it. Hope you enjoy!
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I think you’ve just described a scene from every bad action/adventure film. We’re having our first heat wave today – it’s above zero this morning. Have a great Tuesday and get ready to wear that Hawaiian shirt!
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There’s an old Bond stunt of doing a high-altitude sky dive into a scuba dive.
For something this stupid, only the best B movie actors will do. Jason Statham perhaps, or Vin Diesel.
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Right now its a gagillion below zero and I’m sitting here with my coat on…Your day cliff diving and jet skiing sounds much more awesome!
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Sounds better to me too. My gloves weren’t enough to keep my hands warm this morning.
Though they did prevent frostbite. So that’s something…
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That is one of my favorite songs. I had someone ask me recently who the Allman Brothers are. Yeah, I felt bad for the look I probably gave them (ok, no, I didn’t).
Awesome post. I need to add some adventure into my days. Great reminder!
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I just don’t think I could sustain this level of adventure every single day.
(Not that I’m smart enough to not try!) 😉
I feel bad for people that don’t know some of the great bands.
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Just reading this sounds exhausting (and fun)! I need a nap now, but I think I’ll to to work instead. 🙂
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“Live every day like you’ll get to take a nap”. Hmm….you might have something there that we can all get behind!
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If I try that on any given day, there’s a good chance it would actually become my last.
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Likewise, but oh, what a way to go!
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For one brief moment, I went away to a warm place where I am scared of heights – petrified – but willing to try. How am I spending my Tuesday… I woke up hours before sunrise for no apparent reason, stepped outside with a big latte in hand, and realized what season it was – forcefully. My testicles shrivelled, and my coffee rebelled. That might be the other way around, I can’t tell.
You’re a brave man, Guapo. Honestly, when you have kids, any vacation requires you having another vacation…
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I doubt I’ll ever have kids. So the best I can do is inspire the next generation to terrify their parents. 😉
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Guap, no matter what daredevil tendencies you have, I think you’re the good kind, so I figure my kids (who are everything to me – everything) would be okay in your presence.
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Ooh… ! I am SO TRYING THIS ! =) =)
My foxling and I were all ready to tackle another Algebra lesson when she ran upstairs for more pencil lead and I read this post…
OF COURSE I took a quick second to look up cheap flights to Mexico and scuba certification for a 13 year old…
You are KILING me, Guap ! =) =)
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There are junior Scuba certifications available.
I can’t recommend it highly enough. It’s like flying over an alien environment! And it also forces the diver to stay calm in strange situations.
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very cool, thanks ! =)
I used to dive like a fiend, but have not been in so long… miss nothing more that the warm water gently pulling me around coral. =)
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YES! That, exactly.
Someplace like the Caribbean, with a shallow deck so you can stay down forever without worrying about decompression limits.
think of the world you’ll open up for the foxling!
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YEAH !!!!!
Although, I doubt I will be able to get her back into the house for classes after that… I can see her deciding to go the Marine Bio route and tossing the idea of med school out of the window ! =) =)
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My endocronologist was an avid diver. No reason she can’t do both!
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I am sure she could, it would be the getting out of the water and into a classroom that would be a challenge ! =) She tends to go a bit… overboard with her play time, wonder where she got that from?! =)
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Um….processing data for PTV pledge drives then going to Albertson’s to get groceries! WHOOPIE!! Not even in a wet suit.
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If I could get in and out of it easier, I’d have worn my wetsuit for my commute the last few weeks. Neoprene really is warm.
(Plus, think of all the people who’d come over to you at the grocers. )
(Sure, they’d probably all be mental health professionals, but still!)
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Oh El Guapo, have you learned nothing about me yet? I AM A FREAK MAGNET – with out without a wetsuit, so the only one’s that would approach me would be the weirdos…mental health people know me for what I am 🙂
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And this is why we get along so well! 😉
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Exactly!
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My dreams aren’t as exhausting as most people’s. (peoples’? How would one punctuate that?) I dream of peace and quite. Two feet planted firmly on the ground. Maybe a nice pinot noir and a petite Japanese girl to walk on my back. Nothing too severe or violent as what you describe above. Mostly, my dream is to learn punctuate properly.
16 days ’til spring but the clocks change this weekend, which is a huge step in the right direction.
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There’s a lot to be said for a mellow relaxing evening.
But if it was your last day? I just want some Rube Goldberg chain of events to leave my body someplace fun.
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I’ll take the Geisha walking on my back. That’s be just fine.
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I’ll need some scuba gear to slosh to work today. Nothing exciting on tap for me but a lot of work to do.
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I pretend I’m skiing when I have to walk to the bus in the snow.
Which means I’ve had a lot of practice this winter.
Meh.
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I can picture you doing all of this….the only thing that would improve this image would be to have a wet-suit with a Hawaiian pattern!!
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Oh. My. God!!!!
I need to see if those are available!!!
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Right?? You’d be a beautiful, soaring flower!!
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That, or the plummeting bowl of petunias from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy…
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Lmao….hopefully not!!
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Good Gawd, that would annihilate me!! I will leave the extreme sports to you, Guapo. I think I will just watch some Walking Dead. 😉
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If you watched me walking towards the start of this stunt, I’m pretty sure that would qualify as “walking dead”!
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I bet you wished you could just meander off and eat some brains, lol.
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I had a very delicious dinner of sweetbreads (veal thalamus) the other day.
Surprisingly, I’ve never actually eaten brains. I may have to rectify that….
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I was with you until you said climbing. Heights and I aren’t on friendly terms. I’m all for a jetski ride, though. I love those things!
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Some of teh stuff I do is because I don’t want to let my fear of heights stop me from enjoying things.
though my fear was never a seize-up debilitating one. Just a lot of discomfort and nausea, wit a little bit of terror.
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Sounds perfectly pleasant. 😉
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Aw, once you’re airborne, there are so many other things to worry about.
Like equipment failure.
And gravity.
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And the contents of your bladder and bowels evacuating themselves.
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Oh, the suits have flaps for that. 😀
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For both?
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well, you have to custom order it, but some things are worth the money!
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Hell yea! Are you a spy cause it has a very Mission Impossible feel but I believe you could make it possible.
Lizzie 🙂
(You already know the next part so I won’t say it ;-). )
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Ha! If i thought spies actually did that, I’d send a resume to the CIA every single day!
She says hi.
Hmph.
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Send it anyways. Time to shake it up a little. After they hire you, you can quit and sue the government for wrongful boring employment..mental anguish or something.. and use your settlement to retire to fantastic adventure..
It could work.
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How to spend Tuesday? Well, much less frightening 😉
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But will it be as exhilarating???
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Noooooooo….. 🙂
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That sounds like a grand adventure, Guapo! (and love me some Allman Brothers!)
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If I ever do it, I would like you to chronicle it! (Seriously, you’d add a layer of depth to me just yelling AAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHH!!!!! all the way down.)
we’d have to discuss the soundtrack though.
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You bet!
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How am I spending my day? Building up to your idea by standing on the edge of my bathtub and jumping in!
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Ok, you’ve out-adventured me.
I’ve had too many close calls in the bathtub.
(And to think they said the rubber ducky was a friend!)
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Ha – I hate the phrase line every day like it’s your last. Much prefer yours. It’s actually do-able! 🙂
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Ha – I hate the phrase live every day like it’s your last. Much prefer yours. It’s actually do-able!
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Seriously, for the people who do live like that, how do they handle being exhausted???
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(and really sorry it took me so long to respond!)
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Yeah, for me, a really banner day would be sitting in a chair on the white sands of Bellows Beach, Oahu, with a blank pad of paper and a good book. No fins or parachutes required! Family frolicking in the surf completes the picture. *sigh*
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That actually sounds perfect.
(I’ll wave as I jump the jetski over the beach!)
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And there you go! I might wave back … depends on whether or not I’m watching my son and husband boogie-board over a particularly stunning wave or not. 😉 But if I see you, maybe I’ll pencil you in to the canvas. You just never know!
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Wait, did you actually DO this? You’re a badass if you did. I guess we’re still in the getting-to-know-you-stage.
I cry like a baby when my kid drags me on the kiddie roller coasters. Like, with snot coming out of my nose in long strings. And he leaves me to go off and ride the kind that hang you upside down and drop you at free fall speed. No thanks.
I’ll live vicariously through you. Reading this post made me dizzy. But in a good way.
Happy Fat Tuesday!!
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Sadly, I have not yet done this. But I have skydived, rock climbed scuba’d and jetskiied.
I would love to combine them all, but I don’t think I could afford the resulting insurance premium. 😉
(I feel like a jerk every time I say this, but most roller coasters just bore me.)
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My former student is now in college, doing a semester in New Zealand.
She did a bungy jump off the bridge where they invented bungy jumping. And made an incredible video – set to music. She emailed it to me.
It was the most joyous uplifting thing – I cried, happy tears, watching her freedom and courage.
I’ll email you the link. You have to see this.
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Fantastic! I look forward to it.
I did my first in 2012 – http://wp.me/p1OYvs-K8
But I just found out there’s a taller bridge just outside Ottawa!
It’s on my list.
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Guap, except for the parachute part, that sounds like an awesome, and exhausting, day! My scuba gear was all accented with hot neon pink…but that was a long time ago…I have experienced many such vacations, coming home more beat that when I left; but ok with it, since I was on vacation! Loved your Allman Bros choice too.
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My instructor laughed at me when I ordered the fluorescent flippers.
But they’ll also make it easier to identify the body, so…
We now take a an extra day to recover after our vacations, just to give ourselves a pause before re-entering the real world.
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Good plan on the extra day…we usually try to squeeze in every last second of vacation, but resting at work doesn’t always work out that well. 😉
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You’re my hero; I live vicariously through you. You should’ve been a stunt man. Then you could get all the broken bones and none of the glory. Oh, wait, that doesn’t sound right…
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To be honest, I would gladly trade fame for being able to do this kind of thing for a living!
(It’s not like I’m famous in the cube farm anyway.)
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You would be if you took a video of yourself sliding down the breakroom table naked and then posted it on You Tube…
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Ha! There are some kind of fame I’m not chasing.
Anymore.
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Echoing the many who came before me, your posts are aspirational…I’m not sure cliff-diving will make my own list, but I can commit to living for more than naps.
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If nothing else, you’ll have more fodder for dreams during naps!
(Naps, by the way, are an excellent adventure to aspire to.)
(I’d join the Pro Nap Tour if I could…)
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Let’s do it! *chugs red bull*. Unfortunately the bravest part of my day will be going back and forth between my office and my minivan without mitts because my 4 year old spilled a coffee on them and they are frozen in the -25 C weather. I could really go for the lobster though.
Great tunes pick.. made me think of summer days amongst the gentle folk of the jam band scene.
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Just to give you thoughts of warm, I’m glad I posted the song.
You can get by without the gloves if you carry a freshly steamed lobster in each pocket!
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I started my Tuesday watching re-run coverage of John Travolta messing up Idina Menzel. Enough already! Then, I watched the new cast of Dancing with the Stars followed by Cathy Lee & Hoda at which point I got drunk with them on a lot of rum! Your Tuesday sounds much better! Plus your lapiz es verde.
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A rum soaked Tuesday actually sounds good to me.
Tambien, mon crayon c’est vert!
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Well I’m not spending it like that! lol Please no Hawaiian shirt!!!!!
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I’ve never heard such silliness.
If you’re not wearing a Hawaiian shirt, how will people know you’re having fun???
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You mean jumping off crazy high things at the very risk of your life wouldn’t indicate that alone?
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No, it makes you easier to spot at high altitude with the proper shirt!
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Well how about wearing a vest with the big orange X
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Because the vest with the big orange X is not Hawaiian.
Sheesh, keep up!
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That’s the point, sheesh keep up
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That’s it. When I hit the lottery, I’m replacing your entire wardrobe with Hawaiian clothes.
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and i’ll sell them on Ebay to who will probably turn out to be you!
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Woohoo! Nice Hawaiian shirts at a cheap pri–
HEY!
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face palm
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I’m a full supporter of your theory….I just don’t know if I have enough energy to follow through with your plan. LOL. I love the writing. Keep it up!
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Thanks so much, Nukemm.
Actually, having thought this whole scheme up, I doubt I could do it now.
This kind of thing is best done with as little thought as possible!
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I always liked you… but now I think I might love you…
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Nah, you’re just in lust with my flippers.
Baby. 😉
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That might be the sexiest… and most disturbing thing… anybody ever said to me.
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I will be my lunatic self and just read about stuff like that. Very James Bond of you but with rum.
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Why doesn’t the Caribbean have any super-spies?
Oh yeah. Rum.
Fair trade.
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Have you seen ‘Grinding the Crack’ with Jeb Corliss? That’s my next venture (with flippers on) 😉
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I haven’t, but I’ll keep an eye out for it.
Everything is better with flippers!
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It’s a short clip on youtube and if you ever have a minute to spare it’s definitely worth a watch 😉
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Crazy squirrel suit guy! I love that clip! Learning to do that is on my list, though I doubt I’ll ever get to that level.
Haven’t seen that in a while, thanks!
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I’m having the same feeling imagining rock climbing in scuba gear that I had watching the documentary Cave Digger (totally worth the $5 download btw: http://cavediggerdocumentary.com/ ) that showed this amazing guy climbing mountains with a wheelbarrow strapped to his back: HALE no, and OMG the things some people could do. Well, promise to blog about it if you do. 🙂
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I’ll check it out!
Probably no blog for that one, But I’ll ask my wife to post the police report!
Or my obit…
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I am exhausted just reading this! I am spending my day studying because I have assignments due at uni (read playing internets, reading blogs and chatting to friends on whatsapp).
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I’m lucky I didn’t have distractions like that when I was in school, or I’d never have graduated!
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I got up at 4am after referee’ing a roller derby bout last night until 10pm. Although I hated that 4am alarm, I had given my word to lace up my skates and promote the San Diego Mardi Gras parade, so I skated, twirled, did turn-around toe-stops, crawled under some guy’s legs again and again because we thought it would look cool on TV, then I rushed home grabbed my laptop and headed out to the hills where we worked from a friend’s shop on our generator as I designed and edited a newsletter being sent out tomorrow to over 3 thousand followers. I’m wore the fuck out. And this is a typical day. Oh and tomorrow starts all over again with a 9am job interview. I’m 48 years old and I can still hear my dad telling me about that candle and all of its burning ends.
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Egad! Did your dad mention anything about melting the middle of the candle too???
Glad you’re getting so much done, and it all sounds like fun!
(Hope the interview went well.)
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There is something extremely emotional (the teary kind) that breaks my sad gravy mood into something more and more…like…sadder gravy. What’s that, you ask? It is a 100 body mask and swim-fin flapping flipper parade. Tugs at my heart strings. Every time. Portland needs you, El G……
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I hope the next time that parade strolls by, you think of your friend in the east and smile, Jots.
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Jots always smiles her loudest when thinking of you,
El G!
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Now I want a vacation. And a vacation to recover from my vacation!! I would go rock climbing in scuba gear. I’ll try anything once, especially for a bit of an adrenaline rush!
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Sadly, sometimes the rush comes when something very unexpected happens.
But hey, any one you can walk away from! 😉
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I’m not sure if bloggin’ buddies can be Yin and Yang, but if so, we are. I was just thinking this morning that i was born a total coward in some respects. OK. In just about every respect. But I love your adventures, anyway Guap. As long as you don’t expect me to go along with you.
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Wouldn’t have you any other way, Elyse.
(And I hope when I finally make my mistake, You say “I told you so”.
But gently. 🙂
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I am not looking forward to that day. I actually admire your courage.
In fact, I was just trying to explain the difference between the things you do and the stupid stunts on the show Ridiculousness which is currently on the TV because Jacob is doing the dishes and I (stupidly) gave him the remote. There is nothing courageous about allowing someone to roll a bowling ball into your nuts or roll a truck tire into your nuts. Somehow I am pretty sure I am not the target audience, but why would anybody WANT to be the target of Stupidity? I am missing something.
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You’ve got me there too.
I think you need to be preteen or a little stunted to think that’s a good idea.
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I far that our young in’s are really skewed. My son thinks this show is hilarious. Just hilarious. I just can’t accept such a heaping dose of stupidity.
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He’ll grow out of it.
As long as he’s just watching the show…
Sometimes it’s nice to be vicariously stupid.
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Hope so. He’s 22, though, and remarkably Peter Pan-like.
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Oh, that’s normal. It will last a few more years.
(I remember having an even more juvenile sense of humor at that age.)
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I’m going to hold you to that.
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Spent my Tuesday manning a booth at. 10,000 person conference for biz apps software in Atlanta. Yeehaw.
I’d rather run through your program.
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Yeah, I don’t like conferences either.
Hope it all went well!
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It went. Was very, very weird to be there and no longer be part of the mother ship. Glad it’s done. 🙂
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I think your real name is Bond, James Bond.
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Shh! How can I be a spy if everyone knows my real name?!?
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This is going to be like the traveling man for comments, I’m sure. I’m late getting this in, I know. Guapo, you have made my day. Now I can go to sleep happy. It’s been a tough day. I’m jumping in my chair listening to that great music. When the Allman Brothers were doing their thing, I was doing mine, raising my kids. Didn’t even know they existed. Thanks so much. Love it! Now I know what you meant.
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If the thoughts of my idiocy can put a smile on your face, along with a great song, then I’m a happy man!
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Only 16 days, only 16 days, only 16 days……… please tell me it will automatically be 75 degrees outside and that birds will help me get dressed in the morning.
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I know that’s not going to happen, but I’ll be just as disappointed as you anyway.
Sigh.
Damn lazy birds…
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How absolutely terrifying! Good luck to you and your crazy adventures! I’ll live dangerously vicariously – thank you for the chance!
My Tuesday was spent very happily cooking up a storm for World Food Night to raise money for asylum seekers and refugees. (Photos tonight)
Daffodils and crocuses and cherry blossom heralding Spring here. I love your countdown. 🙂
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That sounds like a pretty good Tuesday, actually!
Glad you already have the harbingers of Spring. I’m hoping the bulbs here start waking up this weekend.
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i was thinking of doing that WITHOUT the wetsuit, but then I thought about the wedgie. perhaps not. nevertheless don’t let ANYONE every try force ritalin on you… and i’m on wednesday already
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I would do this in jam shorts, but the wedgie would be epic!
(And more than a little painful.)
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maybe a thong, then the wedgie’s all sorted….
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Pre-emptively wedgie-ify myself! Brilliant!
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that’s if alana blanchard doesn’t get there first….
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You don’t admire her…minimalist fashion sense?
(I wonder if there’s any treatment on her suits to prevent getting paper-cut type injuries…)
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ha ha. no i’m just bored with her sticking her butt out at every conceivable opportunity. yawn!!!
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Guapo… wow, now I really do need a vacation!
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I think this post was just the cabin fever talking, but nowI’m wondering if I could actually get away with it.
hehehe
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Do it, do it! (She pushed and cheered.) 😉
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You exhaust me, just reading about your daydreams, El G. I like the last part best, about the Hawaiian shirt, shades and a good strong drink. I think I could manage that bit. I spent my Tuesday on a plane. Not much scope for exercise or leaping around at all. 😦
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But I saw the picture of your destination, and it looks like it was a day well spent!
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Guap, would it be okay if I ride off the cliff instead?
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Waitaminute – can I clip into a hang glider and get a tow from you off the top?!
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Film-worthy footage right there Guap!
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No audio though. My “scream in terror” voice can really pound into the skull. 😉
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Whoop! That was quite an adventurous imagination. I saw it happen.. well of course in my mind’s eye.
Now, you must go for it and if you do, do not forget to share your experience. 🙂
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Ha! I bet if I tried this, I’d end up on some version of a “DON’T EVER DO THIS!!!” reality show.
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Whoa, dude. That would be one crazy, full, Guaporific day. If you can set this up, you need to do it. Now where in the world do they have everything you’d need in one place?
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There are a bunch of places that come to mind.
St Lucia might work – they have a volcano to climb.
And jetskis and rum everywhere!
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My idea of doing it all in one day? Finding a beautiful spot on a sugar white sand beach, under a leafy tree (without bugs I think it goes without saying), where I can hollow out a slight dip in the sand (to be cooler) where I can read & doze for the whole day while looking at an aquamarine ocean & hearing the soft lap of waves nearby. Doesn’t it sound wonderful? (BTW, this is my “restful” spot when I am visualizing relaxation).
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You know, that would work too!
(One of my restful places is similar, but with a hammock.)
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Ah!! What fun. I’m there flying through the air with my flippers and listening to this wonderful music! Thanks for this mini vacation!!
I want to just start wearing flippers everywhere I go. How could anyone not smile while wearing flippers around. 😀
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You can also use the flippers for steering while flying.
Bonus!
But remember – always walk backwards when wearing flippers.
Trust me on this one.
Ow.
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I truly believe that what this world needs is more people walking backwards in flippers.
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I would add some slapstick japery with the flippers still on in the restaurant. Could we have a dog eating some of your lobster whilst you pick yourself up off the floor. Go on…. Please…..I will pay you
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How about the dog does all the same stunts – but smoother!
(And he gets the girl in the end.)
(Darned mutt.)
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Oscars written all over it!
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Only you friend…only you.
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Thank goodness! Can you imagine how busy the ambulances would be if everyone was like this! 😀
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lololol..cough…lololol….cough….I see your point!
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I can already see a movie stunt happening this way with Guapo “The Movie Star” .
By the way don’t forget to take me with you, I may win an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress !
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Ha!
(I would just go for the food and open bar.)
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😀
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Yes, this is totally James Bond! BTW, I agree that “live each day like it’s your last” sounds good but suffers from the problem you mention, plus, if it were my last day, I’d want to spend it with my family, and hey, I just saw ’em yesterday.
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The advantage of spending a day like this is that it might very well be ones last!
but man, what a fun way to go!
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Wow! That got me psyched to do something awesome. Not sure what yet but I’m going for it.
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Fantastic! Can’t wait to hear what you do!
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Sounds exciting!
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Thanks Hobbler.
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Since it’s Sunday, I have no idea what I did on Tuesday. I love your idea, but I am way too uncoordinated. I wonder how hard it is to use a jet ski in flippers?
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