Today’s Music: Edwin Star – War
And if you can, please help out Merbear. Just click The “Save A…” link on the left..
Every week, Rochelle Wisoff Fields posts a photo, and challenges her readers to write 100 words (ish) inspired by the picture. This week’s picture is from D. Lovering at 40 Again, and it’s followed by a story exactly 100 words long, with a beginning, a middle and an end.
(I figured since it’s my first time, I should follow the rules.)
Click over to her site to read some other great entries, and maybe leave your own!
They entered the canopy and the air smelled cleaner, the laughter of children around the square louder and more vibrant.
The man in the suit turned to their guide.
“Odd decoration for the entrance to a missile defense, isn’t it?”
The guide smiled. “No entrance. This is it.” He whipped out a handgun, pointing it at the man, who barely had time to cringe before the trigger was pulled.
The bullet dribbled from the barrel, bouncing harmlessly off the pavement.
“H-how…?” sputtered the man in the suit.
“The magic of the Maypole”, answered the guide. “Don’t you believe in magic?
All criticism is welcome. Hell, since you’re reading, it’s in your interest to help me write better. 😉
Guapola 
Didn’t see that comin’, nice one Guap.
LikeLike
Thanks RD. It was fun trying to keep it to 100 words.
LikeLike
I bet, a hundred words? That’s shorter than one of my run-on sentences! Word on the skills, man.
LikeLike
Frightening where some peoples minds go 😀
…yet so enjoyable
LikeLike
For some, more enjoyable when you can watch it from afar!
LikeLike
Nothing to criticize it rocks!
LikeLike
Thanks so much Zoe!
LikeLike
I went from The Matrix to Alice in Wonderland in a 100 words and it was a smooth albeit surprising ride. Nicely done.
LikeLike
Thank you! I have no idea where this came from. I’m just glad it was coherent.
LikeLike
I couldn’t write a story in 100 words if I had a gym to my head. Well done!
LikeLike
I think you could get at least 1,000 words off of someone holding a gym to your head…
LikeLike
oh sweet mother of god… I didn’t even notice that typo. What the??? I think I need a new hobby.
p.s. do you work in Manhattan, Guap?
LikeLike
I do. I’m on 6th, about 4 blocks south of Central Park.
LikeLike
My office is on 8th at 39th. I may do the mad dash to buy 1/2 price tix again after work tonight. (Saw Of Mice and Men last night = phenomenal!!) And I still have remnants of the Ebola. But, if you’re up to a coffee we could try to coordinate a day/time. I’m leaving for the airport at 9:30 am tomorrow but could do an early morning coffee. Assuming you aren’t afraid of early mornings. Or ebola.
LikeLike
Love to! What time are you thinking?
(I have a concert tonight).
I just use Splenda in my coffee. I don”t go for that fancy “in the raw” or “ebola” stuff…
If it’s better for you, we can try to work something out next time you’re in town.
LikeLike
Next trip might make more logistical sense since you’ve got the concert and I (hopefully) have a show. Unless you’re thinking in the a.m. around 8:30? Just thinking I’ll need to be back at hotel for a 9:30 pickup at 8th/45th.
LikeLike
I have to be at my desk by 830.
Net time then!
LikeLike
you’re on!
LikeLike
It’s hard to write a story in so few words, but you nailed it!
LikeLike
Thanks. I miss the 19 words I had to cut.
LikeLike
Great story. It’s amazing where the mind will go in a few words.
LikeLike
I hope I never quite understand the biological/neuro-chemical wellsprings of creativity. There’s magic in that.
LikeLike
I believe in magic, Guapisimo! You can shoot me by the Maypole anytime! Nice story. I’m sure it was harder than it looks to keep it at 100 words!
LikeLike
The original came in at 119, then I had to trim it.
Alas, that means the psychedelic elephant got cut.
Poor bastard…
LikeLike
tequila shooters perhaps? 😉
LikeLike
Guapo, you did it! Yay! You make this look easy. You’re a pro at this. Intricate, unique take. I was not sure how you would get magic out of a defense missile, but you did it with flying maypole colors. This is great!
LikeLike
Thanks!!
Doesn’t mean I’m going to stop adding inane twists in my comments on your entries though.
hehehe
LikeLike
Mmmm… Maypole syrup. [drool]
Guap, I would not have thought along those lines for a story to go with this picture, but that’s why you’re a creative, prolific writer and I’m just, ahh… doing what I do over here. Seriously, you’re GOOD!
I’ll have to go check the other submissions and see what more creative people have come up with.
LikeLike
Gah! Maypole syrup never even occurred to me!
I’ve read a bunch of the writers on previous entries for this. They’re really a talented group.
And I enjoy the hell out of what you do.
LikeLike
Constrictive literature madness! By the way, nicely done. I am wondering where the pole went. Wait… don’t answer that.
LikeLike
I think I’ll stand here with an enigmatic writerly smile instead of saying I didn’t even notice notice there was no pole.
Yes. Enigmatic smile is definitely the way to go.
LikeLike
Well done. I didn’t see that end coming! 😀
LikeLike
Thank you, Dianne!
LikeLike
Fun! And super odd! I so love creative folk. Great idea and great story (Help you write better? Silly man).
LikeLike
Ha, Thank you!
(You should see the prose of my grocery shopping lists!)
LikeLike
Haha! Post it! Post it! 🙂
LikeLike
Actually, the lists are written in a more biblical –
“And yea, thou shalt place the canned goods inside the cart, but woe unto thee that does crusheth the eggs with them, for the consumer shalt be mightily displeased, and demonstrate his wrath upon thine potato chips, crushing them innest to smaller and smaller chips until BEHOLD! There is only dust.
Thus turneth down the aisle.”
It’s also possible I just have issues. 😉
LikeLike
OMG! Awesome-ness!
LikeLike
Had to read it twice– this feels like something I would dream, where I’d be trying to shoot someone and it would just fall to the ground a la The Matrix.
Not that I dream about shooting people.
Okay, only bad people.
LikeLike
I’m always the one getting shot in my dreams – and I always survive somehow!
We seem to have cumulative dreams. Though I’m not a bad person of course :).
LikeLike
Wait – so you’re a superhero in your dreams? Just like real life?
LikeLike
Mostly it ends with me going like ‘errm, maybe I should go to the hospital? Or be saved? Does anyone feel like saving me?’ – not that much of a superhero 😀
But in real life I do wear my superhero cape.
LikeLike
I think I once blew up a city in a dream.
But it was in New Jersey, so I’m confident they deserved it.
LikeLike
May I ask why you had to reread it? was something unclear, or jarred you out of the story?
LikeLike
I had to make sure that I had pictured it correctly, like Neo. And also because I constantly reread things. Because my brain is special.
LikeLike
I thought it was the hull of a ship to start with. Perhaps make use of the Spanish Flag. Nice to think of a bullet dribbling though! Well done, not a word wasted
LikeLike
good eye! I think I saw the bit of the pic where my story came from, and blanked out the rest.
It took me a minute of looking at the picture before I could recognize what it was.
LikeLike
Same here – the picture shifted before me!
LikeLike
Criticism? What criticism? Isn’t everything you write perfection? If not, why am I still reading?
No, seriously, I didn’t see this coming! I like it 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks NBI!
The only perfection in my writing is that i consistently use letters only from the English alphabet.
(No extra “u”s in my words though.)
LikeLike
Great story….I love the twist at the end. Well done!
LikeLike
Thanks Poly! I love when a twist occurs to me, even more when I can express it.
LikeLike
Wow… that was a twist ! =) Very nice, love the dribbling casing… =)
LikeLike
Thanks! It was the fastest way I could see to demonstrate the magic.
Though I didn’t even make the Matrix connection so many readers did.
(I think I owe the Wachowski’s a credit…)
LikeLike
Short on words + Twists & turns + Surprises = BRAVO! … and thanks for Edwin Starr!
LikeLike
I was looking for a mellow song to go with this.
Oops. 😉
Thanks Frank! (Getting you to try fiction is still on my list of things to do.)
LikeLike
You have the good creative mind for that skill.
LikeLike
aFA echo….
LikeLike
You’re too kind!
thanks Jots!
(Unless you’re just echoing him for Edwin Starr.)
(In which case, thanks!) 🙂
LikeLike
Nice, Guap! I liked how your piece ended with a question–left my mind to wonder. Well done.
LikeLike
Ha! Thanks. I think I was trying to say that it was odd the guy didn’t know what he would find when he went to check the defense installation.
LikeLike
Haha…
I would love to read more of your fiction.
LikeLike
Thanks. If you have any interest, I have two tags – creative and trifextra. Most of my fiction is under one of those, I think.
LikeLike
Oh, cool! I think I’ll do that, my new friend. 🙂
LikeLike
When I first saw the headline, I panicked and thought “It’s Friday? I thought it was Thursday. Did I lose a day?” ( I’m still on some strong meds from last week’s hospital stay.)
I liked the story!
LikeLike
Thanks! I have that same problem with Friday Fictioneers. These posts pop into my mailbox all week long, and I just get confused.
Hope the need for the meds is fading, and you’ll be all better soon.
LikeLike
Well done, Guap.
LikeLike
Thanks TD. It was a fun challenge.
LikeLike
I suppose I should try it. Sometimes I get a bit too verbose to limit myself like this, but it’s supposed to help you become a better writer…
LikeLike
The hardest part is writing it as tight as I can, then having to find ways to pare it to fit under the limit.
The first version of this was 119 words.
Getting it down was hard.
LikeLike
I often times have a hard time keeping my Yeah Write entries under 600 words, so I know this would be a challenge for me.
LikeLike
I know what you mean. I’m easily my own worst editor.
I’d rather just tell the story until it’s done, then walk away.
The challenges are good for making you think about exactly what words and ideas you’re using.
LikeLike
Yeah, it is. I suppose I should learn how to do that….
LikeLike
I like it! Especially the “magic”. Very creative. 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you. I’d be screwed here if the magic didn’t go over well.
LikeLike
Since I’m still reading through the filter of pain meds, this makes perfect sense to me. Write on!
LikeLike
Hmm…I usually take the pain meds after I read my stuff…
LikeLike
Oh, this was really interesting! Nice twist at the end…pretty unique!
LikeLike
Thank you!
LikeLike
Loved it… It is not easy to capture magic in that small of a story…
LikeLike
Thanks Art. Strangely, I find it hard to write in a longer format.
LikeLike
I can respect that
LikeLike
If only. That’s such a good story. Well done.
LikeLike
I wonder if defense contracts using magic would be easier to fund and maintain…
Thank you!
LikeLike
Great imagination! It’s something I admire, but lack, which relegates me to the lonely world of nonfiction humor writing.
LikeLike
Oh, I don’t know. Some of the adventures you post with your regularly recurring cast of characters are quite imaginative.
LikeLike
I don’t know how you got so much story into only 100 words. I definitely want more details, but I guess that would defeat the purpose, huh? I really enjoy the abrupt change from realistic to fantastical and totally unexpected!
LikeLike
Thank you very much, Erin!
I was rereading this trying to figure out how these two got here.
I have to admit, I have no idea.
LikeLike
I can’t believe I can say this, but “He’s still standing, El Guapo.” Hahaha! Reminds me a bit of the cone of silence on “Get Smart” only this one works.
janet
LikeLike
Oh my god! I should definitely rewrite this with the cones of silence, then have 100 words of someone externally watching them yell soundlessly at each other!
(Love the quote too!)
LikeLike
This photo also could have called for a plethora of pinatas, but I didn’t think of it.
LikeLike
Ok, now you’re just toying with me! 😉
LikeLike
Bravo! Welcome to FF! It’s fun to see you jump in and come up with such a creative story. You’ll see, this is very addictive. No surprise… you have more comments than anyone else! What a way to make an entrance. 😉
LikeLike
Thanks so much! I was fiending for a challenge, and you and so many others spoke so highly of fictioneers.
I’m also enjoying reading the other entries.
LikeLike
It really is a wonderful group of writers. I have not missed a week since September; love it!
LikeLike
I’m awestruck… I love how you set the scene with the air smelling cleaner and the vibrant laughter of the children. To be able to transport someone in one sentence… I can’t even. I’m still in denial that I’m a long-form blogger. I refuse to tag my posts long form, I don’t want to write long posts. If I could write a short, engaging story like this in 100 words, well I would just shut my laptop and decide that I was done. Writing: accomplished.
LikeLike
Ha! You’re an excellent blogger! And you’re great at thought pieces and non-fiction.
LikeLike
And apparently I can barely keep my comments under 100 words…
LikeLike
Fortunately, there is no word limit on saying nice things. 😀
LikeLike
I love the dribbling bullet – that’s real magic! Welcome to FF 😀
LikeLike
Thanks so much, EL.
Seems like a great community here.
LikeLike
Ah! There’s so much story here! I’m pulled right in. The magic of the maypole was a great twist for the ending! Seriously good, El G!
LikeLike
I used magic to actually write 200 words and make it only look like 100!
hehehe
LikeLike
You are so smart!!
LikeLike
this line here – “The magic of the Maypole”, answered…
i don’t know where you live, and i know there are differences between england and the US, but in “american” english, the comma should be inside the quotation marks. in england, outside is more common.
i like how all was needed was “the air smelled cleaner” in order to know to be ready for anything. from start to finish, had to be on your toes. well done.
LikeLike
Thanks. I’m in the US, and I’ll leave myself a note about the comma placement.
I had several more words to set that tone with the cleaner air that I had to pare down to get to 100. I’m glad the intention carried in what was left – i thought it did, but I’m a terrible interpreter of what I’ve written.
LikeLike
none of us are great interpreters of ourselves, and that’s why we’re here. extra eyes.
LikeLike
Amen, and thanks!
LikeLike
Nothing is better than a maypole to fence of murderous intents.. in phase two it’s important to rememember its strength as a symbol of fertility.
LikeLike
Ha! True, but I don’t know if we want to get defense contractors involved in fertility…
LikeLike
ha.. just a matter of which guns to use.
LikeLike
Great take on the Challenge! (It was REALLY suspenseful) Do some more of them!
LikeLike
Thanks Whitelady!
I’ll keep an eye out for these and write when inspiration strikes.
(You could too!)
(hint hint)
LikeLike
What made you think I read this?
LikeLike
Magic!
LikeLike
Dear Guapo,
I’ve seen your comments on other stories so it’s nice you decided to jump in with your own story. Welcome!
Well done piece of magic. I look forward to reading more from you
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Thanks Rochelle, and thanks for being so welcoming!
LikeLike
Good story. I thought it was going to be murder and mayhem. What a nice magical surprise with a happy ending. Well done.
LikeLike
Thank you. I rarely kill people in my stories.
Well, there was one, but he really deserved it. 😉
LikeLike
Sorry. I should have mentioned this first. Welcome to Friday Fictioneers!
LikeLike
Thank you! You guys have a wonderful community.
LikeLike
A new twist to an old classic. Classic Guap! xo
LikeLike
Thanks Stacy! It was fun writing this one.
LikeLike
Writing that story under 100 words, I’m giving you a medal, Can’t get any better than this !
LikeLike
Thanks, but could I have a nice meal instead?
(Unless I can use the medal as payment. Then I’ll just take myself out. ) 😉
LikeLike
May Pole magic! What a delight.
LikeLike
Best kind of magic there is!
Or so I’ve heard…
LikeLike
Loved the magic! 🙂
LikeLike
Well who doesn’t love magic?
Thanks Curvy!
LikeLike
Well played Sir Gaupo!
I’m having so much fun tonight getting caught up on everyone’s great work. Masterful story in a very short space!
For the Amtrak residency, I had to answer two questions in 100 characters including spaces–they were both 108 words. One of the most challenging things I’ve ever done!!
At least I’ve got access to learn from the best. Loved it!
(Did you see Christy and Mary’s 50 word stories from the weekend?)
LikeLike
I saw Christy’s 50 words and thought she did really well. Haven’t read Mary’s yet, but I’ll get over there soon.
Glad you’re pushing on with the Amtrak residency. Can’t wait to hear how it goes!
LikeLike
Great imagination El and I loved that last line-one must believe in magic 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks so much! I would love to know how our brains manufacture imagination.
LikeLike
Won’t we all? 🙂
LikeLike
So I think you should have had “Do You Believe in Magic” as the song for the day. 😉 Yes, I do, and this story was great!
LikeLike
Magic shows up in a lot of song titles. That one was considered too, but too cheesy even for me. 😀
LikeLike
“Magic Carpet Ride” maybe? Anyway, nothing is “too cheesy” when it comes to Oldies!! *roll eyes*
LikeLike
This was very well written Guaps – you didn’t tell us what we needed to know, you showed us! Loved it!
LikeLike
Thanks so much, Benze!
LikeLike