Another Auld Lang Syne

Today’s Music: Dead South – In Hell I’ll Be In Good Company

As she put it…
It was a typical Thursday, at the end of December. Guap was back from another round of saving the world. This time that involved terrorists, twerking, that orange powder they use to coat Cheetos, and chocolate pudding.

He was taking a much needed day off (I can’t tell you how badly Cheetos dust and pudding react to each other) and decided to go skiing to celebrate the end of the year, and the approach of spring in a few months.

He made it to the top of the lift and was considering which trail to take while adjusting the bindings on his 192cm solid titanium rocket skis (a gift from the King of Montenegro) when he heard the first scream.

There was a woman – a pregnant woman, holding a baby, at the top of one of the trails – wearing rentals!

Guap ski’d over as fast as he could to see if he could help. As he got closer, he could see her expression was one of unmitigated terror! She turned at his calls, then turned again – facing straight down the mountain. She pushed off, the newborn squealing in her arms as the edges of her cheap rentals grabbed the snow and gravity propelled her down.
He raced to catch up, focusing only on helping the beleaguered damsel. He rocketed past the copse of trees where she had been, not seeing what had caused her overwhelming fear until it was too late.

A Yeti rocketed from the evergreens, it’s horde of miniature reindeer accompanying it with a fierce whuffling noise to drive fear into the hearts of men.

But Guap was made of stronger stuff. Using the snow bumps to his advantage, he skied circles around the mythical horde, raising a cloud of ice and snow to blind even the hardiest of winter nightmares. Knowing it had been beaten and that the prize of the pregnant woman and her spawn had escaped, the Yeti unleashed a mighty bellow of rage!

The bellow unsettled the precarious sheets of snow and ice resting loosely on the mountain face and they began to slide toward the base. Guap knew what he had to do.
Casting caution to the wind, he raced down the mountain, calling on all his skill and all his luck. He caught up to the pregnant woman just ahead of the cascading avalanche. He hurled himself to the surface just above her, and used his body as a snowblock to protect her from the tons of ice and snow.

She was saved.

But Guap…poor Guap. A ski glove that had been lost the previous season, spending the year being slowly encased in solid ice, was the last thing down the hill in the avalanche. It was aimed directly at the poor woman’s head. Ignoring the pain, Guap tore his leg from the snow and held it between her and the projectile.

He saved her. At the low, low cost of shattering his lower leg in three places.

And he’d do it again.
As he put it…
I was turning to stop at the top of the first run of the season, to see what the terrain looked like. One ski bit beautifully, arcing through the hardpack snow. The other didn’t.
And down I went.

The truth, I expect, lies somewhere in between…
And how is your year going?

61 responses to “Another Auld Lang Syne

  1. Oh my God!!!! First, great friggin’ cray-cray story- telling!! Made me love the “truth” or somewhere in between even more. Sorry sweet love!! But glad you are healing and in such good spirits and back writing your blog. All’s well in my world. 2019, I’m just getting started!! Hugs! 🤗


  2. Holy what the hell?! This is what you do to us for your return to blogging?! I just…. um, glad to see you’re back better than ever!


  3. I did a double take when I saw you in my inbox. I love the song. How are you?


  4. It’s very earlier in the morning. I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I got up to a dark sky and an unexpected email notification. I immediately knew I kept it on for a reason … but I didn’t think it was because you messed up your leg! Then again, at least you did it during an adventure. Welcome back after almost 5 years!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s about time. I’ve missed you so much my hair turned short…and gray…er. Xoxo Raye


  6. 😳. Oh Guap! Get better soon!


  7. Yikes! A hero healing… Great read, welcome back!


  8. Get well soon. Do you think you will ever ski again?

    On the bright side, maybe you will have more time for blogging now!


  9. What a pleasant surprise to see your name in my inbox! Broken bones aside, I have missed your storytelling. Heal quickly, my friend. xx


  10. Ouch. As I was reading, I was thinking you better have a bear in this story, but you surely topped a bear with the Yeti and reindeir horde. Heal up soon.

    As for the song … have you been hanging around Trent Lewin lately.


  11. I knew you could come up with a good story for how it happened. I’m very impressed with how good but not at all surprised. Keep recovering. Soon it will be a blip in the distant past. xxoo


  12. OMholygod, poor you! Heroic you! Crippled you! I can’t even tell what part of your leg that first photo is, but if it’s supposed to be a straight bone, I’ve just lost the b-fast that I’m about to eat. Thanks for sharing this epic, mythological confirmation of why I chose to cease & desist skiing (skise & desist) years ago when I had a similar experience in Taos (without the compound fractures): “Hmmmm, wasn’t that ski supposed to pop off when my foot twisted beyond 90º??” And that was it. I hope you heal well, and quickly. I’m so sorry your leg was sacrificed for the greater good. xx


  13. OMG, Dave, welcome back! I was SO excited to see you in my inbox!!! ***happy dance***

    The story was fantabulous, and who questions where, exactly, the truth lies, anyway? And I am sure you will ride (and ski) again!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Yikes. I stood at the top of a black diamond hill and realized I was scared to death. No Yeti, just a hill. My 70th birthday had passed and something told me to knock that crap off. I made my way down slowly. Stepped out of the skis and have never returned, Sorry about the leg. You have some nice screws in there for sure.


  15. Gaupola! You don’t know how thrilled I was to see your post in my inbox. Then how bummed to see it was because you broke your leg saving the world. Perhaps consider sky diving next time??
    Wishing you a speedy recovery!


  16. You’re supposed to break your enemies’ legs, not your own.


  17. GUAP! Dude!
    so glad to see you back! Can’t believe you broke your leg – here’s to quick healing and stuff. What a hero 🙂 I’ve missed you. Hi to TMWGITU!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. This is probably why doctors recommend that pregnant women do not ski – because pregnant women apparently tend to provoke Yeti attacks.


  19. Ugh! Dave, hope you heal quickly, and that there’s enough drugs to help until you do.


    • I have pretty good painkillers, which I need a little less each day.
      Sadly, I can’t get a medical marijuana prescription to help. Guess I’ll have to stick with the over the counter stuff. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  20. I’m sorry but the only part of this I found the least bit plausible was the Yeti, and that simply because I happen to be sitting next to one right now, and he says that they do in fact love pregnant women. Yeti fetish. There, I just wrote my next story.

    Hope you’re doing well beyond the leg issue, Guap. And thanks for shouting at at The Dead South! The Dead South lives!


  21. WOW…
    What an entrance 😦
    I hope you are doing
    much better now my
    fine friend, that injury
    looks horrible to say
    the very least. I would
    suggest a new hobby,
    bu definitely not pole
    dancing at the moment,
    though is could be nice
    to watch as your leg is
    improving, just don’t
    let your better half catch
    you or it could be very
    dangerous… lol

    It’s Hump Day too but
    getting your leg over is
    not going to be easy…

    Yes I know, still full of cheek.

    Catch you later Guap

    Andro 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Duuuuuuuuude……………….


  23. What the meth? Glad you survived, humor in tact. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  24. I do hope you’re completely mended now…and EL GUAPO YOU’VE BEEN AWAY TOO LONG!
    The only
    news here…hubby went down the basement stairs backwards three weeks ago while we were trying to move furniture…small bone broken in the back. He’s an amateur compared to you.


Ahem *best Ricky Ricardo voice* Babble-OOOoooo!!!

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