Category Archives: Babblings

When life gives you lemons, make Foolishness!(ade.)


Today’s Music: Beebs and her Money Makers – Hand Out

And if you can, please help out Merbear.===========================>>>

Is there a spring in your step? Did you spring out of bed today? did you remember to flip the mattress? All this and more is on my mind this week, because spring has sprung! But what’s the “and more”? Why, the blogs I’ve read. Here’s some of what I saw… Wholey Jean had some great tips for being a role model to your inner child. Not A Punk Rocker wrote about how some Suicides Are Viewed, and Sean Smithson posted gratuitous selfies to promote his Book (with possibly the funniest dickhead pic ever).

Thank you all, and everyone else for the thoughtful and entertaining posts this week!

And thanks so much to The Sailor’s Woman for bestowing a Liebster Award on me! (Though her chihuahua may have made her do it.)
I hope you all take a minute to check out her great site!

When will it end? WHEN???

When will it end? WHEN???


Last week, we celebrated what we hoped was the last hurrah of winter by asking what you’ll miss most about it.
Based on your comments, I don’t think many of you wanted to make winter feel welcome. Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are slowly thawing in italics.)

When it snows, I have something to blame all the white powder on – Revis
(Blame it on the dog! That cokehead..)
Reading this before adding something stupid… Andro
(I read these every week. Never stops me…)
Not freezing my rocks off… Andro
(But it would be rude to freeze someone elses off!)

(I thought y’all just put snow chains on your moose.)
Absofrickinlutely nothing John Phillips
(You sound a little unsure…)
Making fun of Americans John Phillips
(I’m sure we’ll do something mockable soon.)
Having to finally leave Phucket and go back to the States that are United~~Addie
(I thought we were still split over that whole “Team Edward/Team Jacob” thing?)
snow days SnB
(I thought Canada just had snow “months”?)
Living under the SnowDome
(I prefer the SnowGlobe. Except when people shake it.)
The Polar Vortex. I love a good vortex. (Miz Yank)
(Can I interest you in my vortex of debt?)
Those whiny bastages in New York and Jersey. Pull up your big-girl longjohns! ~Miss R
(Umm…what’s the male version of “camel-toe”?)
Watching my husband do all the work! Elyse 54.5
(Just get him a lawnmower!)
Matching sweaters for me and my Chihuahua. The Sailors Woman
(As your chihuahua breathes a palpable sigh of relief…)
maybe I’ll miss snow. I’m crazy like that. JakLumen
(I think if you sit back and weigh the pros and cons, you’ll find that you won’t really miss it.)
I won’t miss it. It hurt. Literally. JakLumen
(TOLD YA!)
Everything! (Seriously, everything.) Stacy
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!! For a totally…unique…view of winter.)
Winter I hardly knew ye –Linda “California” Vernon
(It was the season where you lounged while we wept. Good times!)
the way it spooned with me at night. – calahan
(Isn’t a shovel more effective?)
PMAO…I am going to miss doing posts of flowers and sunsets in San Diego that I do solely to drive people who live where it snows crazy.
(I’m going to miss the radiant smog in those pictures…)
getting to be jealous of everyone else’s winter. thematticuskingdom
(Trust me, we’re happy to share.)
the early sunsets. thematticuskingdom
(Nothing more romantic than a moonlit lunch.)
the Christmas cheer. thematticuskingdom
(Only 278 shopping days to go…)
brickhousechick: Eating 300 Oreos during Natl’ Oreo Day 3/6
(This is Madness. NO! THIS IS OREOOOOOSSSS!!!!)
Skiing and my fleece workout pants. Susie Lindau
(Water skiing in fleece shorts!)
Hot toddies.
(cold beer.)
The temp outside matching the temp of my heart. – Twindaddy
(Now your heart will just have to be a seething cauldron of rage.)
The agony of another NO SNOW winter – Rutabaga
(Oh. The horror.)
having an excuse not to take a bath for weeks ! Life ConfusionsLife Confusions
(Once they turn on the fountains in the park, I have no excuse.)
How can I miss it when it’s never going to f*&#ing end?? polysyllabic profundities
(This would have won, but I don’t want to encourage winter.)
complaining about it on my blog – The Waiting
(Wait – does that mean more raisin/poop stories? BRING BACK THE SNOW!!!)
The sound of my frozen testicles banging against each other (Trent Lewin)
(As long as you don’t look for other things to bang them against…)

Congratulations to Stacy for this weeks winning answer! And from the offered choices, the most popular was Watching the door hit its ass on its way out. So congratulations to all you violent portal users out there! (A close second was being made fun of by Canada, so I think some people need to work on their politeness. I’m looking at you, British Columbia.)

I bet he could melt some butter. But I don't want to know about his nooks or crannies.

I bet he could melt some butter.
But I don’t want to know about his nooks or crannies.


This week, I’m intrigued by breakfast food. The bread in fact. English muffins, to be precise. (It’s the foolishness. It’s not supposed to make sense.) I’d like to know what you think those nooks and crannies are, so that’s what I’m asking. Offer as many scrumptious thoughts as you like, but offer them by Tuesday, 25 March at 2359 EDT, because that’s when this one ends.
Try and keep yourself to three Other answers if you do write-ins, and if you do leave an Other, add a way to recognize you at the end, and I’ll link back to you next week.

And so, until the foolishness brings us together again, please enjoy The Great Flydini.

Have a great week everyone!

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SPROINGGGGGGG


Today’s Music: Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer – Makin Whoopee
(Alternate take: Dr. John and Rickie Lee Jones)
Days Til Spring: ZERO! ZIP!! ZILCH!!! NADA!!!!

At. Frakkin. Last.
At 12:57 EDT today, something glorious happen(s/ed). Without any speeches or announcements, without the interference or permission or approval of talking heads or governments, Spring start(s/ed).
For some of us, it still feels like winter, or it’s actually the start of autumn.
But for me, even though the weather disagrees with the calendar, today is a milestone.
90 days ago was the shortest day of the year. Today, regardless of legislated clock shennanigans, sunset begins twelve hours after sunrise. And after that, for the next 90 days, the days keep getting longer.

But today is where it starts! Two whole seasons of no jackets, bright sunshine, and green grass. How will I spend it?
Glad you asked!

Wait for your eyes to stop bleeding.  Then get your own at Wave Shoppe

Wait for your eyes to stop bleeding.
Then get your own at Wave Shoppe


The Spring and Summer Stupid
Surfing. As always, I don’t care if I stand up on a wave or not. Get on the water on my board. Paddle til I can’t feel my arms. Lie on the beach, then go out for a good meal.
Picnics. Books. Good food. Guitar. Hula hoop for The Most Wonderful Girl In The Universe. ‘Nuff said.
Road Trips. Pick a direction, roll down the windows and drive. Find a town, maybe with an event, maybe with the worlds largest ball of twine. Who cares! Just enjoy the ride, baby.
Stand Up Paddleboarding. We go down to a place on the Hudson in lower Manhattan. Paddleboarding in the middle of a major metropolis? Gives me the giggles every time.
Jet Skiing. A place opened on the same beach we surf. I expect to fall off at least once
Rock Climbing. TMWGITU (to my ecstatic surprise) loves climbing in a gym. I really want to get her on a cliff at the ‘Gunks.
NAPS!!!! If you have to ask why, we need to sit down for a long talk.
Free Music. It’s everywhere in the city. Free concerts in the park. Free concerts by the rivers. Festivals. I’m like a kid in a candy store.
Playing Guitar Outdoors. I don’t care how good I am (or not). There’s something extra joyful about sitting in a park making music. Even if it’s the same notes over and over. (And TMWGITU will probably bring her hoop for those outings too!)
Bungee Jumping. This probably won’t happen, but I discovered there’s a bridge with a 200′ drop 20 minutes outside Ottowa. How could that not be on my list?
Watching the stars. A warm quiet night with the heavens ablaze. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, try it and you’ll understand.

As always, this list is neither definitive, nor accurate. Maybe paddleboarding will get dropped in favor of the trapeze on the west side. New things will get added, others will get dropped because of time or money.
But it will be Spring and Summer, and I’ll spend it with my wife.

Looks like they will be great seasons!

Somewhere, Over The Foolishness…


Today’s Music: Slim Harpo – I’m A King Bee
Days Til Spring: SIX!!!
And if you can, please help out Merbear.===========================>>>

Welcome to the last Foolishness before Spring begins. And what a week it was – the warm! The cold! The office shennanigans! How can one survive such madness? Why, by taking refuge in the ‘sphere, of course. Here’s some of what I saw…
Sharp Little Pencil wrote out her Mainfesto (in poetry form, of course). Anja wrote a great freeverse about Ego, and John Phillips put this winter in Perspective

Seriously, if I didn’t get to read them and all the rest of you, I’d have probably run for the hills after this week, so thanks!
Mankini
Last week I asked for a different form of perspective – yours, on how you prepare for bikini season. And while none of you have body issues, that isn’t to say you are issue free. Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are sun-kissed in italics.)

doing yoga and praying – Curvyroads
(I’m praying I don’t have to yoga.)
Drinking, smoking and thinking impure thoughts. (Mollytopia)
(So…nothing special then…)
applying for my bikini hunting license. – calahan
(Remember, it’s “catch and release”. Not “release the clasp”.)
covering up. No one wants to see a monster truck tire on thunder struts. JakLumen
(You should model that in the Deep South…)
Ignoring the bikini mandate and eating lots of pasta. –PLS
(Bowtie pasta is known for its classic hourglass shape.)
Studying for the “Official Inspector” certification exam. BT
(It’s the hands-on inspections that get you in trouble.)
making a Rainbow Loom swimsuit ~whatimeant2say
(Not Fruit of the Loom?)
drinking ALL the beers! (Words & Other Things)
(Too late! *gulp*)
Dreaming of winter! (Stacy)
(Nightmare.)
Going on a liquid-only diet. Beer me! – Erin E.
(Blogger, me!)
hot wax, sunscreen and gin, not necessarily in that order.The Sailor’s Woman
(Wait – you don’t drink them all at once???)
Not eating carbs. (hypothetically)
(There are some fine vegetable liquors. (perhaps…)
Installing a few wicked Apps, I just hope I won’t be late… Andro
(Smartphones can kill?!?)
Slapping a few choice asses, bend over girls… Andro
(Pretty sure they’ll slap back. Hard. Perhaps with shovels.)
Removing as many as I can, when it happens… Andro
(I’m guessing that’s one before the cops show up…)
A million burpees! Amy
(I draw the line at seven hundred fifty thousand and eight.)
completely ignoring it! – Benzeknees
(Ask not for who the bikini bares. It bares for me, not thee.)
wiki searching “bikini.” thematticuskingdom
(Hey, if you have to ask…)
guzzling beer so I’m too drunk to go to the beach. thematticuskingdom
(The Hawaiian Tropic girls will be so disappointed!)
nothing. I live in CA – it’s always bikini season. thematticuskingdom
(I don’t think it counts as a season if it’s all the time…)
buying protective eyewear. (MizYank)
(A sleep mask might be the only way to avoid the horror!)
Bikini? ja,ja,ja! My skirted suit might see the daylight… someday.brickhousechick
(A long swimsuit! Leaving even MORE to the imagination!)
Um, it’s called a Burkini. Maggie
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
finishing this tub of ice cream – Twindaddy
(I don’t think that kind of oil protects from sunburn…)
digging a very deep hole. Elyse 54.5
(Much like me, in these comments.)
Moving to the Arctic for the season.~~Addie
(There are those who say that will be the warmest habitable continent soon…)
Getting ready?!? This body was born ready for the bikini season –Marie Nicole 😉
(They make bikini onesies?)
Consuming prunes and imported Mexican tap water to get to my birth weight
(And it will go through you as fast as baby food did back then!)
shaving my back…sooo hard to reach..(SnB)
(Maybe your barber will give a volume discount?)
collecting yellow polka dots. sandylikeabeach
(Can you fit more than six on that teeny thing?)
There’s a bikini season?! That must be the one warm day we have. Kayjai
(I thought I saw Rob Ford in one the other day.)
shaving my eyebrows off (Rutabaga)
(I’ll just be trimming my ear hair.)

Congratulations to Maggie for her modesty! And from the offered choices, the most popular, by a wide margin, was Lobbying to bring back the swimsuits of the 30s. The long ones. So congrats to all of you you too. Unless your modesty precludes you from accepting?
snowed-in-car
This week is Winter’s last one on the calendar til the bottom of the year. So, lets send it off in style, feeling good about itself. Offer as many well wishes for Winter as you like, but offer them by 2359 EDT, Tuesday 18 March, because that’s when this one closes.
Try and keep yourself to three Other answers if you do write-ins, and if you do leave an Other, add a way to recognize you at the end, and I’ll link back to you next week.


And until we meet again, enjoy this…
This one always makes me laugh, so I thought I’d use it again

Have a great week, y’all!

Stir crazy. Possibly fried.


Today’s Music: Calexico – Two Silver Trees
Days Til Spring: NINE!!!

And if you can, please help out Merbear.===========================>>>

(*A note – Seasonal Affective Disorder is a serious malady that effects a lot of people. This isn’t intended to mock those that suffer from it, or to make light of a very real condition.)

The snow is still melting, but the real warm hasn’t shown up yet.
It’s grey outside, threats of rain and snow.
We went to Canada last month, and found an indoor Monster Mini Golf (glow in the dark!) this weekend.

Can you believe the dragon was only a par two???

Can you believe the dragon was only a par two???


And yet, as this interminable cold and gloom continues with no end in sight (except the ticking of the calendar into a new season), I find myself with the less serious version of Seasonal Affective Disorder: the dreaded Cabin Fever.
Soon... (Or else!)

Soon…
(Or else!)


It gets me towards the end of every winter – the knowledge that spring, sun and warmth are coming coupled with the fact that they aren’t here yet has me gnawing at myself for a way to escape.
So in the interest of preserving whatever sanity we still have, here are some (whatever the opposite is of) Sure Fire tips for beating SAD.
PILLOW FORTS!
Defend yourself from the invasion of this dreaded condition! Outside light (especially grey) looks much better when diffused through flannel sheets strung a few feet above the floor.
TELEVISION!
Immerse yourself in stories that take place somewhere else, preferably somewhere warm.
Your insurance may cover a Netflix subscription to stream the Complete Gilligans Island!
BLOG!!!
Look, you know you’re going to do it anyway. Why not use it to repair your mental condition? (That way you can also get a medical waiver to do it at work!
HAWAIIAN SHIRTS
Seriously. They exude spring, summer and warm weather climes. Plus, if it’s a good one, you’ll need to wear your beach sunglasses so you don’t blind yourself.
INDOOR PICNIC!
Who doesn’t love a picnic? Plus, fewer ants!
(If that’s not the case, I don’t want to know.)
(Nor do I want to come over.)
MAKE A LIST OF ALL THE FOOLISH THINGS YOU’LL DO IN THE SPRING AND SUMMER
My old ones are here and here.
My next one will be up next week.

If I last that long…

To Be Or Not To Be. That Is The Foolishness.


Today’s Music: Paul McCartney – Hope of Deliverance
Days Til Spring: 27!!!

I’m ecstatic! The temperature is above freezing! The weekend is almost here! And I got to read some great stuff this week too. Here’s some of what I saw…Samantha Hines wrote about a porch that was more than just a porch.T. Dawn gave a great fiction piece about being someone else, and this one’s a little old, but Quirky put up quite possibly the most hilariously disturbing food post I’ve been lucky to read. It has donuts. That’s all I’m going to say.
A great week of reading, from them and everyone else, so thanks for that!

Oh, and TwinDaddy at Stuphblog is highlighting me on Feature Friday! Probably because he’s trying to lose followers. But I hope y’all pop over to check him out and follow. He’s a great voice in the cloud.

Einstein
But one particular time when it doesn’t seem like anyone was reading was Valentine’s Day. In last week’s poll, we asked how, instead of doing the traditional things, you’d be celebrating. And I don’t think Hallmark makes cards for all your ideas. Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are dressed skimpily in italics

Catching up on all the foolishness… It is Friday after all (Kanerva)
(So…watching couples fight for parking at overcrowded restaurants?)
Hybernating until spring. Kayjai
(That’s barely a one month nap. Is it even worth it?)
Celebrating Zombie Day instead 🙂 Don’t ask… Andro
(And Jesus appreciates your devotion!)
Searching the TV Guide in hopes of a new episode of Shark Tank. ~Maddie
(In a stirring Valentine’s episode, the judges make a romantic dinner out of the dreams of hopeful contestants!)
No time for Valentine’s Day–I’ll be trading in my iPhone5 for a new iPhone 5S
(Buy now to get the Date-A-Hipster app free!)
Party Hearty on Mardi Gras! (Stacy)
(I thought King Baby came 9 months after Valentine’s Day?)
We went to a SF/fantasy/gaming convention! jaklumen
(Yeah, my wife needs extraordinary circumstances to dress up like Slave Princess Leia too.)
Roadtripping!!! Kanerva
(Better than icesliding!)
Washing my hair (Elyse 54.5)
(You were doing it in slo-mo, with that head flick, right?)
Hunting around in the yard for Cupid’s arrow, since it missed me and my house.
(Doesn’t having a diaper clad sniper in the neighborhood make the real estate values go down?)
to donate my heart, which is like a trampoline- stomped on and resilient. Samara
(It’s the Timex of organs!)
Celebrating National Organ Donor Day, which also falls on Feb 14. Samara
(I wonder how many overused livers they reject on the 15th…)
Hoping none of my friends catch the VD… 1 Jaded 1
(As long as they didn’t sit on a toilet seat…)
Canceling my plans and vomiting all weekend, huzzaaahhhugh –Aussa Lorens
(Funny, those usually are my plans…)
Drinking heavily.
(So…nothing special for Valentines Day.)
Trying to remember what romance was like before children. And drinking. Deanna
(For many of us, it’s the drinking while being romantic that leads to children.)
I will be offering group Commando weekends, well if it’s warm enough 🙂 Andro
(I really don’t want to hear about disassembling the rifles for cleaning.)
Enjoying a Saturday night in alone, strike that idea I want some fun 🙂 Andro
(How about organising an orgy?)
organising an orgy for something else, hopefully 🙂 Andro
(Sure, steal my idea…)
shoveling snow…sigh SnB
(Hey, it’s better than how the elephant tender at the zoo is spending his Valentine’s Day!)
Trying to figure out why my old Christmas tree is stuck to my balcony.
(That holiday spirit is year round!)
Celebrating St. Patrick’s Day early. – Hotspur
(I thought the early partying for that started March 18th?)
Cooking a beautiful dinner for me and the lovely Mr S. Valentine’s rules okay r
(Wait – the rules are she has to cook for him???)
I think instead of celebrating I will be going to the doctor to clear up that annoying rash left over from the last romantic holiday I celebrated…… PMAO
(No one celebrates groundhog day like you!)
(Thank goodness.)

Spending time on C4C with lonely blogging buddies – Benzeknees
(Look, if you’re going to say stuff like that, it’s very hard to mock you.)
(Which doesn’t mean I won’t try.)

But I like Valentine’s Day…dammit, so much for my clever answer.
(Don’t feel bad. I never have clever answers.)
Shoving Cupid’s arrows up his keister, gently of course. polysyllabic profundities
(Downtown, they usually charge extra for gentle.)
Celebrating Valentoons Day watching a PePe Lepu Marathon-Linda Vernon
(Umm…those are episodes of TLC’s Strange Love: Skunks…)
Seeing a flemish bluegrass arthouse flick about cancer. For real (rollergiraffe)
(Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.)
Celebrating all the 50% off Chocolate sales after V-Day! –RoS
(But acne cleanser goes up to 150%.)
I’m french. I am valentines day ya fucker. (Marie Nicole)
(And now I see how “pardon my french” became a thing.)
silly. Same thing I do every day. thematticuskingdom
(But if you marry Punky Brewster, what will the children look like?)
trying to take over the world. Same thing I do every day. thematticuskingdom
(Wait – are you the one that’s the genius, or the one that’s insane?)
stalking people through their blogs. same thing I do every day. thematticuskingdom
(Only then will you prove your mousey worth!)
At Duane Reade, buying Easter decorations. BT
(Better hurry before the xmas decorations crowd them off the shelves.)
Trying to think of something that rhymes with ‘Politically Correct’.
(All I can think of is “erect”. Because apparently, I’m twelve.)
Shoveling snow. Walking the dog in the snow. Building a snow cupid. SNNOOOWWW!!!
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
drinking, big time. Alex A.
(Being single means never having to share teh Valentines booze!)
Trying to convince Al Roker to shovel your place. (Frank)
(He’s too busy shoveling crap on the NYC mayor.)
Buying a box of Valentine’s Day cards and having a bonfire with them – Twindaddy
(Ah, fanning the flames of love…)
working on the other kind of VD – you know the STD kind… Rutabaga
(One Standard Valentines Day, coming up.)
Prepping for my colonoscopy.
(Dinner and drinks with the proctologist first?)
Packing for my holidays! YAY!!
(I hope your suitcase is big enough to fit the whole class.)

Congratulations to the anonymous patron for this weeks winning answer! And from the offered choices, the most popular was a tie between Coming down from the post-Olympics high. (Curling is intense!) and Sending Ben & Jerry’s stock through the roof. (Loneliness never tasted so good.). So congratulations to all you Olympic level ice cream eaters out there!

Much more appropriate than that Thinker guy...

Much more appropriate than that Thinker guy…


This week finds the Greater Republic of Guapola in a ponderous mood. Philosophical even! But instead of Socrates famous “Like the sands through the hourglass…” (mostly because sand makes me think of chafing in awkward areas) we focus instead on Descartes “I think, therefore I am”. So this weeks question is What do you think?
Answer often, and take your time to ponder, because this one closes in ten days, on Monday 3 March, at 2359 EST. (My brain will need the extra week to recover from all this thinking, so no foolishness next friday. It’s also possible I’ll just be hibernating.)
Try and limit your write ins to four answers, and if you like, leave a name on your write-ins, and I’ll link back to you next week.

And as we had into the weekend, enjoy these!
First, here’s a clever falling domino set up. Turn your speakers down a bit, because the music is electronica.
Unless you like electronica, in which case I forgive you.

And finally, a brilliant ode to the Spiderman Musical. With flying!
(I think the audience member is Exile on Pain Street.)

And until we meet again, have a great weekend, and a thorough foolishness!

Frankly my dear, I don’t give a Foolishness.


Today’s Music: JD McPherson – North Side Gal
Days Til Spring: 34

Snow. Rain. More snow. Sleet. Oh yeah, freezing temps. How to survive a winter gone mad? Why, read blogs of course! Here’s some of what I saw… GingerFightBack blew me away with The Norton. Brickhouse Chick used a very scientific sample of one for her survey on What Women Want, and Exploring Pixie wrote a strong post about women and Google Suggestions.

They, and all of you, were in great form this week!

Antihero
But last week, there was foolishness, in the form of asking the stupidest question yet (probably), who should be the next antihero? And wow, were your heroes…anti. Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are apathetic in italics.)

A fat bloke in a pink and lime green thong… Andro
(Or as I like to call it, my college years.)
Chris of Wombania… Andro
(The wine gums keep him surly.)
Dog the Bounty Hunter’s Aunt Freda… Andro
(She trained Dog well. Except for the slobber.)
The Soup Nazi. Hey, Seinfeld is making a comeback. (or King Kong) ~ RoS
(He uses croutons to pelt his enemies into submission!)
(And no monkeys!!!)

the last great hero flipped inside out? butimbeautiful
(Wouldn’t that be “the first average meh”?)
Beiber after Miley frees him from the clutches of Selena Gomez. ~merlinspielen
(Pay no attention to the Lindsey Lohan behind the curtain.)
devilishly handsome and unbelievably sexy.
(Hmm…never thought of myself as an antihero…)
Peter Parker’s Aunt May – John Phillips
(Behind every great superhero is an aunt who wishes he’d clean his room.)
Walgreens, for continuing to sell tobacco products next to the vitamins.
(That’s got to be the silliest thing I’ve ever heard! Who would ever suggest that???)
Did the Walgreens comment go through? That was mine! Erin E.
(Oh…um…HI THERE!)
To the muncher in the 4×4 behind me who is honking because i refuse to ice dance 1 Jaded 1
(You were their only hope to beat the North Koreans at Sochi.)
Ron Paul~~Addie
(Able to bring government to a grinding halt! It’s Two First Names Man!)
Dennis Rodman.
(Or as he’s know in North Korea, Tall Annoying Man.)
PMAO… Dick Cheney
(Dick Cheney is a wonderful man. HEAR THAT, NSA???)
Any govt official who gets to decide who gets benefits & who doesn’t – Benzeknees
(I thought those were all former DMV agents?)
Death. As in The Angel Of. I hear he’s on Match.com GO DEATH!
(When did he break up with Taxes?)
Death. I get so excited I forget to reveal myself – Marie (cyber house rules)
(But you look so good in the intimidating black robe with the hood…)
Hipster-man. He solved that crime before you even heard it happened. BT
(If only he looked as cool in his fedora as Kojak.)
Effervescent Banana Man —Linda Vernon
(He…peels his opponents apart and defeats them while they’re…split.)
Men who slide naked over bars. (Carrie Rubin)
(Oh, like anyone ever does that.)
Olivia Pope. I couldn’t help myself. I love her. Deanna from MMV
(Versus her mortal enemy: Nielsen Ratings Man.)
Rush Limbaugh – Twindaddy
(Anti “hero”, not anti “Christ”.)
Obama. He’s already the anti-Christ, right? Elyse 54.5
(Obama and Limbaugh are the same person??? So much is clear now…)
Toting beer and bacon..obviously a Canuck! Kayjai
(It’s Canadian Bacon. DARN YOU, EVIL WIZARD!!!)
Theses guys

(But can they get out persistent stains?) (Full disclosure: My comment stolen shamelessly from something Rutabaga said last week.)
Pull my finger, and I’ll tell ya… come on, do it – Rutabaga
(Sure, but…why are you wearing a gas mask?)

We can’t name the winner, because antiheroes shun the spotlight. But they’re out there… And from the offered choices, the most popular was the guy who writes these polls. Thanks!…I think…

funny-valentines-day-pictures-17
This week, love is in the air. At least, that’s what Hallmark and the jewelry companies would have us believe.
But for those of us that don’t buy into that, what can we do? Well, that’s this weeks poll. Answer often, but answer soon. Because while love is timeless, this poll closes Wednesday, 19 Feb at 2359. Please don’t go over 3 write-in answers, and if you like, leave a name on your write-ins, and I’ll link back to you next week.


And as we head into a (probably not any) warmer weekend, enjoy this – greatest product ever!

Have a great week, everyone.

Able Was I, Ere I Saw Foolishness


Today’s Music: The Feelies – Crazy Rhythms
Days Til Spring: 41

Another long week, but we made it to Friday! And how did we get here? By reading blogs, of course! Here’s some of what I saw… Ericka Clay posted a great piece of fiction that takes place in Brooklyn. Sandy Mitchell wrote the perfect Surfing Metaphor that also works for the rest of life, and Same Burn, Different Flame wrote about the importance of silencing the Little Voices.

Thanks to them, and everyone else for great reading while I was stuck in Canada and all week long.

To be fair, there was no one to stop him when he threw things...

To be fair, there was no one to stop him when he threw things…


Something I didn’t get to see in Canada were the answers to last weeks poll, where we asked what you should throw at coworkers. And wow, looking at the answers now, I’m amazed any work ever gets done! Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are on a coffee break in italics.)

Duck! throw it yell it and you warned em so all good Lizzie C
(It’s like confit-ti!)
a brick. works and you have a moment of daze to duck. Lizzie C
(I should have mentioned I work in a rubber room…)
I say flick boogers. x, Becca (LON)
(HR is going to ask the CDC how to quarantine that.)
snappy comebacks – That One Guy
(Coworkers provide such good source material…)
I throw my voice so he doesn’t know it’s me telling him off. The Sailor’s Woman
(That fern is going to get a bad reputation…)
grenades
(I can see why Bruno Mars broke up with you.)
Why would you need their attention? (Stacy)
(Someone has to know to wake me if the boss comes by.)
some really good one-liners….moments of pure brilliance! polysyllabic profundities
(Brilliance has no place in the workplace!!!)
If I throw something at Cimmy, “Nice catch!” should be what I say next.
(Preferably over your shoulder. While running away.)
I don’t have a coworker. I’m a homesteader.
(Showoff.)
My boss – John Phillips
(Don’t hurt your back lifting his ego.)
Nothing. I send emails. Accountants are to introverted for human interaction.
(How about adding lolcatz to “reply alls”?)
Slingshot balls of flarp. Red.
(I like to do bank shots with flubber.)
death stares. It appears I’m good at that. Or else, mosquitos (alive)! NBI
(Just don’t practice the stare in the mirror…)
Bag ‘O Badgers (pat. pending) and my resignation letter ~Miss R
(That’ll teach the Den of Weasels©!)
Flue virus – that should give a few days of rest for both me and them. (List of X)
(Wait – people use sick days when they’re sick???)
A paperclip that hit her in the eye. I stopped after that. Quirky
(Best to go out on a win!)
I throw non sequiturs like there is no tomorrow
(The bananas are effervescent this morning.)
Awesome super-effective original ideas that will nevertheless be ignored. – Hotspur
(I think I’ve worked in that office…)
foolishness. of course. thematticuskingdom
(Scientists are working hard on an aerodynamic foolishness that does not fall flat. Unlike mine.))
Me? Nothing. The kingdom wizard throws curses at them for me. thematticuskingdom
(I hide behind Betsy from Payroll.)
baseball bat. might be hard to smuggle in library. – aliceatwonderland
(Tell them you’re making Malamud’s The Natural come alive!)
fun facts and trivia that can be shared at parties – calahan
(I like to give minutiae on photocopying body parts.)
“up” Linda Vernon
(It’s all fun and games until it lands…)
From the dust on your keyboard, you could flick a dustball – Benzeknees
(If you mean that one creepy guy in Records, I don’t think that’s dust…)
A curve ball (Elyse 54.5 again)
(SEXUAL HARASSMENT!!!)
Popcorn if you know nobody’s packing heat (Elyse 54.5)
(Or socks! If you know no one is packing bags.)
PMAO says; I like to throw myself at my coworkers… wait… I don’t have coworkers
(So much is clear now…)
Glances which state clearly I’m not you’re team-building-activity buddy – Alex A
(I find not catching them during the falling exercise is much more effective than “glances”.
A paper clip shower. The Bumble Files
(With styrofoam conditioner!)
Deodorant. That dude smells really ripe.
(No, that’s just the hopelessness radiating off him.)
All of my coworkers died in a freak office related “accident” –Lily In Canada
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
another co-worker…so many aerodynamic specimens to choose from…Weenie Girl
(Any excuse to use this picture!)
ill-beat-a-mother
superballs. ummm, that came out sounding weird. – speedo
(And yet, so effective…)
brickhousechick: a confetti of vegan/organic quinoa drenched in pork fat
(The Food Network would like to hire you after you’re fired from that job.)
A collected volume of your blogs~Addie
(Woah! We just want to startle them, not kill them!)
Jelly babies! I know he doesn’t like them so I would get them back! MBT
(Hope he picks off the industrial carpet fibers first…)
Poop. We all need to channel our inner monkey once in awhile. – The Waiting
(*buys raincoat for office*)
My Diet Coke can. Full or empty depends on the amount of rage. Kayjai
(Funny, my tequila bottle has a scale to measure that right on the side.)
Insults – Twindaddy
(Those are best hurled, not thrown.)
gobbets of diseased flesh via catapult – The (Medieval) Mercenary Researcher
(Don’t the other lunch ladies get upset when you throw the meals around?)
Definitely BRRRAAIIIINNNNSSSS (Frank)
(What, and waste mine at work???)
Throw ’em a bone to go with those braiiins!
(…and that’s how caveman baseball was invented!)
Passive aggressive remarks-Not A Punk Rocker
(I suppose if that’s what you think is best…)

Congratulations to Lily In Canada for this week’s winning answer! And from the offered choices, the most popular was BRRRRAAIIIIINNNSSS!!! (Hey! It works!) So glad to see we’re all using brains at work for something.
Antihero
We loved Walter White. We cheered on Dexter.We wept at the trials of that guy in those viagra commercials.
They all have some things in common: they’re distant. Emotionally unavailable. Ratings getters. Which made those wacky pollsters in Guapberg wonder, who will be the next antihero? Well, that’s this weeks poll.
Answer soon, answer often – but answer by 2359 EST on Wednesday, 12 Feb, because that’s when this one ends. Please don’t go over 3 write-in answers, and if you like, leave an name on your write-ins, and I’ll link back next week.

And before we go back to the daily grind, enjoy this…

Have a great week everyone!