Category Archives: Books

A Literary Limerick: The Seneca Scourge


Today’s Music: Glenn Morisson ft. Islove – Goodbye
*Note on today’s music: Song picked by today’s Limerickee*

Carrie Rubin’s – Doctor, Mother, Chronicler of all things offal – published her first novel a while ago, The Seneca Scourge, combining medicine, science fiction, a bit of romance and more into a great storyline.
The heroine, Dr. Sydney McKnight has to juggle a viral outbreak, pressure from her boss, and a new co-worker who she really doesn’t trust. Carrie brings all these threads together in a delightful read that I really enjoyed. At no point did the medical jargon throw me out of the story, and from the way she wrote it, I didn’t expect the twist at all. I don’t want to give it away (because Carrie may beat me up), but it was brought together in a way that served the story and brought it all to a satisfying conclusion.

Look Inside!

Look Inside!


And it’s my pleasure (burden?) to present The Seneca Scourge in Limerick form.
(Please don’t let the horror of my wordplay reflect on the book at all, and I hope you all grab a copy of her book and enjoy!)

The Seneca Scourge
Two doctors both seeking a cure.
But is one of his motives impure?
His secret she finds,
Leaves her of two minds.
But can they find peace in the…fu-ture?

Trust me, the book is definitely better than the limerick.
So go say hi to Carrie, and then go read her book!

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A Literary Limerick – Reapers With Issues


Today’s Music: Kings X – Black Flag

I’ve been going pretty strong with the limericks lately. Mostly, they’re a fun way to poke fun at cultural icons. Out of all of them though, there has been one so far that I actually wanted to work well.
It was for a blogger I like, and I wanted to convey some of the fun and story of the book she’d written.

Well, she’s written another. And it’s hilarious.
She’ll tell you straight up, it isn’t for the dogmatic. It pokes fun at Jesus. It pokes (maybe bludgeons would be a better word?) at god and at the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
About the only character in this ensemble that comes off like I would expect is Lucifer. Except for the track suit. Too hellish even for him.

I’m not even going to try and explain this one. Think of it as a view of quite possibly the worst middle management situation under…well, under heaven and earth.

Everyone that stops by here has a great sense of humor, and y’all have been able to take some of the most inane jokes. I think you would enjoy reading through the book.

At the very least, you’ll be able to understand the limericks!
The first actually holds to the plot. the second…well, reread it after you’ve read the book. It’ll make sense then.
And possibly make you feel a bit ill while you laugh…

Reapers With Issues
Reapers known as the Apocalyptic Four,
overworked, downtrodden and sore
Lucifer trapped Jesus and his pup.
Managed to gum almost everything up!

But Grim, on his horse, settled the score

Reapers With Issues (for those who’ve read it!)
Each Reaper had a favorite meat-suit
For acting in ill-repute
Jesus would have none of it
While Lucifer made fun of it.

Oh, and Genghis thought the doggie was cute.

And I hope you go check out H.E. Ellis and her Reaper cohorts

A Literary Limerick – Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince


Today’s Music: John Fogerty – Fortunate Son
Note On Today’s Music: Great tune, great performance. The end of the video is just an awful lot of clapping though (about a minute).

We’re nearing the end!!! (Yeah yeah,keep your cheers down. Sheesh.)
July 31st is Harry Potter’s birthday, so I thought that would make a fitting day to finish this Limer-ep-ick

For those who haven’t been keeping up, I applaud your restraint and good judgement. For those of you who have been following this from the beginning, this limerick marks the retelling of the sixth book of the Harry Potter series.

Oh, the woe! The angst! The humanity!
Harry, nearing the end of his educational career, is thrust into a more responsible role as a fighter against he who has no nose.
If you’ve read the books, this will make no sense to you at all.
If you haven’t read the books, this will make no sense to you at all.

If you haven’t read the limericks, go to the Limerick tab above the banner. At your own risk.
hehehe

And now…

Book Six

Sirius had gone through the veil.
In Dark Arts, Snape threatened Harry with “Fail”
But Harry did more
Hangin’ with Dumbledore.

If only he’d built the balcony a rail…

Only two more to go!

A Literary Limerick – Order Of The Phoenix


Today’s Music: Dave Edmunds – Crawling FromThe Wreckage

It’s time for the latest installment in the “DEAR GOD WHY IS HE DOING THIS TO US????” limerick interpretation of Harry Potter.
At this point in our story, Harry is whiny, Ron is sullen, and Hermione is…well, Hermione.
Ah, but Cedric is dead and Voldemort is alive.
What can possibly happen next?!?

So join as we…rework…this beloved classic. Into Limerick form!
And if you want to see the rest (because you’re a masochist), just click Limerick above the banner.

The Order Of The Phoenix
Book Five

The fighting was close and intense
Splinters and dust clouds so dense
Sirius turned quite pale
As he went through the veil.

Wait a minute – Love is Harry’s defense?!?

No, these probably won’t get any better as they go on. But on the bright side, only three limericks left!

Let the hate mail begin!

A Literary Limerick – Goblet Of Fire


Today’s Music: the Cranberries – Loud And Clear

Welcome to yet another round of Guap has nothing good to write and is taking it out on you the finest in poetic literary synopsii, where we reduce a quality text to inane drivel.

Today, we turn our eye to the next book in the Harry Potter series, Goblet Of Fire.
If you haven’t seen the rest (or blotted them out of your mind to escape the trauma), I invite you to click Limerick above the banner and experience the horror experience anew!

Goblet of Fire is the heartwarming tale of a boy who struggles through life’s travails in search of the perfect treacle tart. Truly, this book has it all. As well as, after this limerick, the extra credibility of a hack knocking the stuffing out of it.

*One note before reading – I have absolutely no idea what the syllabic requirements of limericks are. And I’m too damn lazy to look it up. But I’m pretty sure this one is even further off than usual. And you’ll have to read in 1/16th notes at the end to keep the meter.
It’s a limerick folks. You’ve been warned.

The Goblet Of Fire

For Harry, the competition was grim
When it got down to Cedric and him.
They went from the maze
to a field full of graves
Soon-to-be-sparkly Diggory died on a whim…

If anyone needs the website of a reputable mental health professional, let me know.
And you’re welcome!

A Literary Limerick – Prisoner of Azkaban


Today’s Music: Ramones – Rock & Roll High School
Days Til Spring: 29

I am actually thinking of doing a political post, but I won’t be around so much this week to moderate and respond to comments.
The topic generates a lot of vitriol, and there is the potential of some very unpleasant name calling from non-regulars who wander over to troll. (I have found the regular name calling that goes on here to be very pleasant and entertaining.)

Since I’ll be away for a couple of days (Van Halen in Indiana. Because who doesn’t want to go to Indiana in February?), I thought I’d give you something that I know will generate hatred in the comments, without having to wonder.

So, we now continue with the latest installment of abominable Harry Potter limericks. You’re welcome. Oh, and feel free to check out all the literary limericks by clicking the Limerick tab up by the title bar.

    The Prisoner of Azkaban


The dog in the bushes was mysterious.
Harry though that he might be delirious
There were a wolf and a mouse
In a very haunted house

but the hero, in the end, was Sirius

Have a great week, and try to recover before the next Friday Foolishness poll.
Seriously, you’ll need all your strength for that one.

A Literary Limerick – Chamber of Secrets


Today’s Music: Iggy Pop – Lust For Life
Days til Spring: 70

I got nothing. Rather, I have all sorts of stuff, I just haven’t written any of it down.
Fortunately, JK Rowling was kind enough to string out a well known series into 7 books and 8 movies.
So while I try and write up Ernie’s visit, or learning to scuba dive, or how beer does not in fact go with everything (don’t pour it into your chicken soup. Trust me.), I can at least – with minimal effort (really, minimal) – continue with my limericky retelling of the Harry Potter saga.

You’re welcome.

Everyone said that it was a secret
But Harry’s interest was piqued
Guilderoy was no help –
At his own shadow he yelped.

But with a phoenix, the basilisk was beated.

If you’ve managed to read this far, feel free to gack in the comments. You’ve earned it!