Category Archives: Trifextra Challenge


Today’s Music: Marah – Out in Style

The weekend challenge from those most enlightened souls ever at Trifecta is to demonstrate hyperbole in 33 words.
Since it’s all about going over the top, I thought I’d try it not once, not twice, but three, yes, three magically wonderful spectacular times!!!!
(Good lord, now I can’t stop.)

One thing on the last piece – I actually did ask myself that question.
My gesticulating, however, was mild.

I’d Give My Left Arm To Tell Stories Like This…
“If we don’t finish this now, the world will end!” he shouted.
“Whatever”, I answered. “I’m going to sit down and take a break.”
I made it five steps before the planet exploded…

I’d Give My Right Arm To Tell A Story Like This!!!
My grandpa used to tell me incredible stories about how hard it was to complete the trifextra challenges. But he did it.
Walking uphill.
In the snow.
In the dark.
Both ways.

“Can it be called hyperbole if you are accurately describing the thing you’re talking about?” he asked, gesticulating wildly.
His friend paused.
He turned.
He spoke.
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Thank you, and please consider this my formal apology for inflicting this on you.


Trifextra – Say…

Today’s Music: Berlin – No More Words

Another weekend, another Trifextra challenge. This weekend, it’s pretty straightforward.
As they…say:
For the weekend prompt we’re asking for exactly 33 words of dialogue.

So in true “Guapo can’t take these things seriously” fashion, lets dive right in, shall we?
“Hey, are you going to enter this weeks Trifecta?”
“Thinking about it.”
“So what will you write about?”
“I don’t know, but I have to be concise.”
“Because I only have 33– “

And I thank you.

Check out the Trifecta for all the other entries from some truly talented writers!

Trifextra – Why I Write

Today’s Music: The Hooters – And We Danced

Trifecta has been going for a year! And in their delightully challenging way, they want to know (in 33 words, of course) why we write.
For those of you that haven’t figured me out yet, this should make it perfectly clear.
And again, apologies to Trifecta and all of the ridiculously talented writers who take part in their challenges!

Why I Write (for Trifecta)
I cannot speak for any one else – what drives them, what pushes them, for what they yearn.
I can only speak (or write) for myself.

Because Trifecta doesn’t accept submissions in interpretive dance.

I call this “Abscess of Reality” or “Where’s the Rice?!?”

Trifecta: Death Takes A Holiday – Part 2

Today’s Music: Cutting Crew – I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight
Note On Today’s Music: Hey, if you’re gonna go with a cheesy story, you should have a cheesy song to match…

This is not a link back to Reapers With Issues, or the accompanying limerick.
No, this is a completely different link!

This week, the finely fettled folks at Trifecta picked the third definition of the word Death
(3 capitalized : the destroyer of life represented usually as a skeleton with a scythe).

And to make it even M O R E, this also links up with the gloriously fabulous AccordingToMags (Part 1), and the fabulously glorious OldDogNewTits (Part 3) for parts one and three.
Each stands well alone, all three fit well together. (like a trifecta!)(see what I did there?)(hehehe)

So start there, come here, then finish off the triad, as Death takes a holiday! (Or at least tries to…)

Death Takes A Holiday – Part 2

The tall gaunt figure strode across the beach, pale skin reflecting more than his garish teal and orange shorts. Others pulled back, clearing a path for him and his companions to the beachfront.
One companion followed, carrying a large cooler. He showed no discomfort under his robe, snapping gum excitedly with each step. The other companion lagged, his overweight body sweating profusely in the sun.
“Here” boomed the leader, pointing a bony finger.
“You got it Boss”, said the second, snapping his gum.
The first sighed. “It’s our day off, Nausea. No need to call me Boss.”
“Sorry boss”, said Nausea, settling the cooler.

“I got it!” shouted the third. “’I got the motive which is money, and the body which is dead!’ Bet you don’t know that one”.
The gaunt one smiled, a ghastly display of moldy recessed teeth. “In The Heat Of The Night.” He chuckled, a cavernous echoing sound. “Good try, George.”
George laughed. “I’ll stump you one day.”

The cadaverous fellow grinned, pulling out stacks of wood. He twisted and bent, unfolding them against their hinges to form three beautiful Adirondack chairs, which he and his companions fell into with sighs.
“You make these, boss?” asked Nausea, gum snapping.
”Well, carpentry is a hobby. It relieves stress.”
George said “You should see the stuff he made for my Accounting Office!”
They opened the cooler, enjoying cold drinks, snacks, conversation, until a scream disturbed them.

“Oh god!” shrieked a woman. “Harry! My god, he’s had a heart attack!” she wailed over the prone man beside her.
Nausea squinted at the vague outline of a spirit rising slowly. “No rest for guys like us, huh boss?” he asked, rising. His boss reached out, nudging Nausea into his chair. His other hand rose towards the spirit, clenched, and slammed down.
The spirit jerked back into its vessel. Harry coughed, sputtered, and sat up to stare at the trio.

The gaunt man settled in his chair, popping another beer.
“Death is off today.”

Trifextra – Three Thirds Of Cheesey (In Thirty Three Words)

Today’s Music: Billy Idol – Cradle of Love Live
Note on Today’s Music: Check the lyrics at 1:58. Yeah, describes the post perfectly.

Today marks the first day of Autumn, my least favorite season. Not that there aren’t things to do in the fall. but the cooling of the weather and the turning of the leaves always makes me a bit melancholy.

So to perk myself up, why not totally misinterpret another Trifecta challenge?

Actually, it’s a great challenge, and I hope you all check it out and enter your own responses. But shoot for the top – I’ve pretty sure mine already wins the race to the bottom.
(And by the way,thanks to the magic of twitter, this is HER fault. Follow that link for a great example of how these shouldbe done!)

Here’s the challenge:
Describe something that is three different things at the same time. – Trifextra

The possibilities are endless!

Here’s my entry. Apologies in advance.

I empty the package, split it in thirds.
Children use a third for interpretive wall art.
One third crushed, mixed with water. It makes a perfect spackle.
I eat one third.
Mmmm. Cheetos…

And I hope you have a great weekend!

Trifextra – It’s an animal!

Today’s Music: Wylde Nept – The Unicorn Song
Note on today’s music: Animals!!! This one was written by Shel Silverstein.

The other day, I got one of the nicest tweets ever –

Trifecta @trifectawriting:
@Guapowitz We miss you!

Yeah well, this will get them over that in a hurry!

This weekend’s Trifextra Challenge is a 33 word piece using the name of an animal as a verb.
(Name of an animal. That will be important in a moment.)
The following two entries are exactly 33 words each. And fit the rules. Sort of…

Entry the First
“I said I giraffed the fence.”
“That’s not a word.”
“Sure. Means I looked over the fence.”
“Dude, The challenge was make an animal name a verb. Not make stuff up.”

Entry the Second

“Uhoh” said Megan. “He Georged it”.
“What’s that honey?”
“The mouse ran into the wall. My bunny, George is an idiot. So when I see something stupid done, I say they Georged it.”

Many of you know how much I love these challenges, and the group of Trifecta administrators and authors is one of the coolest online communities, and I have the highest respect for their love of and skill at writing.
Thanks for having me Trifecta!



Trifextra – The Great Garbanzo Bean Incident

Today’s Music: Atlas Genius – Trojans

In yesterday’s post, I made reference to my refusal to do group hugs after The Great Garbanzo Bean Incident, saying I would speak no more of it.
Well, a clamor went up. Ok, it wasn’t a clamor, more like a cry. Ok, it wasn’t a cry either.
But one person did reference it in their comment on that post.
How can I refuse such an overwhelming plea for the story?

And then the admirably bent folk at Trifecta provided the final impetus with this weeks challenge, to provide (in 33 words) the opening sentence of your novel.

So, without further ado, I present the first sentence from my nonthcoming novel “The Great Garbanzo Bean Incident”

Oh the condimentanity!

For what would be the last time ever, we all joined in a group hug, filled with tears and pain, horror and screams, and hummus – and the husks of the beaten garbanzo beans.