Speak Now, Or Forever Hold Your Foolishness

Today’s Music: Taj Mahal – Stagger Lee

Take a week, Throw it in a blender. Add confusion, paperwork and flourescent lighting, and what do you have? Relief that it’s finally Friday!!! And while you’re at it, add great blogs to the mix to help you get through the week. Here’s some of what I saw…
Are You Finished Yet talked about Gender Stereotypes. The Preschool Mentor discussed Children’s Dreams vs Their Parents, and Cayman Thorn reflected on the Boston Marathon. Oh, and Budget Cooking Blog finally vanquished his culinary nemesis, Brown Rice!
They, and all of you made a very good week of reading.

But last week, we were focused not just on Friday, but on how to make the very best Friday! And wow, do you people love avoiding work. Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are waiting for 5pm in italics.)

Would only be 2 hours working long so we could get to the weekend sooner! Benzeknees
(Wait – I’m supposed to actually do work at work on Fridays???)
be followed by “Punch A CoWorker Monday” Samara
(And then, an exciting “Post Bail Tuesday”!)
not celebrate a man getting beaten, tortured and then nailed to a cross. Samara
(Hey, even fetishists deserve a special da- Oh…nevermind…)
flow in jazz-flavored sharpsexy tones of a muted trumpet.
(I hadn’t realized Miley released a new album.)
be BFF, Best Friend Friday. We’d both get to ditch work (and still get paid) to Jessica
(Fridays off are the best use of sick days.)
be when you give up guilt for Lent and eat bacon donuts all day! (Miz Yank)
(Better than giving up donuts and lending bacon all day.)
not involve a human sacrifice.
(Nono – those are Tuesdays.)
be every day of the week SnB
(I don’t think I can do a daily Foolishness.)
(Well, not in blog form, anyway.)
The one where I win the lottery. Elyse 54.5
(As long as you win enough for the whole class…)
be “stay home, and wear your pajamas and eat Nutella out of the jar all day” day radiochick74
(What if you sleep in your birthday suit?)
…be clouded by purple haze. And wine! (LVital7019)
(Fill the humidifier with Merlot. Win-win!)
(Zoe) Have me win this pool, geeze what does it take? Do you need bowing too?
(Lets be honest, does anyone ever really win these?)
(Zoe) See Guaps become famous
(Someone would have to give evidence against me for that to happen…)
(Zoe) Be the beginning of the end of ever having to work again cause rich
(And then we could afford grammar lessons!)
do a Rebecca Roll — jaklumen
(It’s like a Turkey Roll, but with less flavor!)
would be ..better? Lizzie C
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
Have to fulfill my every desire… lol Andro
(Several of your desires are against the law.)
(And the health code.)
Did someone mention orgy? Oh… Andro
(Sorry, typo. Should have been “ogre”. Still interested? 😉 )
Be a picnic after midnight with… Hey nosy 🙂 Andro
(That’s a terrible nickname for your picnic partner.)
be filled with bacon. Not that bullshit Canadian bacon (it’s NOT Canadian!) NancyTex
(You’ll cheer up when spring thaw comes to Canada.)
(In August.)
The day I tell my boss to go fuck himself … twice. KBar3
(Double Jeopardy precludes you telling him to fuck himself twice for the same thing.)
Come with a butler and personal hair stylist. The Sailor’s Woman
(The butler did (hair)do it!)
Best Friday would take place on the beach with margaritas! Susie Lindau
(I’d prefer it if that were an average Wednesday.)
allow me to think of a quick & good answer to these questions (Frank)
(There are no good answers, Frank. At least, not in italics anyway.)
be Saturday … all the time! –Judah First
(But SNL has enough trouble being funny one night a week…)
Live music of all my favorite musicians/bands…for free…in my yard. Rutabaga
(Careful – I hear Karen Carpenter hogs all the snacks.)

Congratulations to Lizzie C for this weeks simple, eloquent answer. (Plus I’m pretty sure this week’s winner will just confuse Zoe even more, so bonus!) And from the offered choices, the most popular was be chocolate covered!!!. So I guess the fetishists know how to spend this day after all.

He’s in shock over how badly they play.

This week, calendar wise anyway, we are deep into Spring, which brings us to the joys of Baseball. Unless you’re a Mets fan. If you are, then what do you do? Well, that’s this week’s poll.
Take a swing at an answer often, but do it soon, because this one closes at 2359 EDT on Tuesday, 22 April. Try and keep yourself to three Other answers if you do write-ins, and if you do leave an Other, add a way to recognize you at the end, and I’ll link back to you next week.

And to send you on your way, enjoy Simpsons Lego!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

This is not madness. THIS. IS. FOOLISHNESS!!!

Today’s Music: PJ Harvey – One Time Too Many

Thank. God. I thought I’d never make it this far into the week. Ridiculously busy at work! Rough commute! It snowed!!! Sheesh! Good thing I had blogs to get me through. Here’s some of what I saw…
Susie Lindau Smooshed Her Boobs. DJ Matticus’ Prince fought a Great Battle! And WhiteladyInTheHood had a run-in with…well… Bunny Tails. Sort of.

Thanks to them and everyone else for a whole lot of great reading this week!

Wrong. For ANY gender.

But last week, sex was on everyones minds. Especially when we asked about turning into the opposite sex. And wow, did you people have some interesting thoughts on the subject. (Seriously, get help!) Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are androgynous in italics.)
Figure out if it’s really all that hard to aim into the BOWL (Samara)
(Of course it isn’t. Sinks are wide! Oh..waitaminute..)
Words can’t describe the assault I would lay siege to my new apparatus (Samara)
(For that, grunts are better than words.)
Say feck loudly and in a deep voice, while scratching my balls :-\ Indecisive Eejit
(RuPaul? Is that you?)
make sure the snozberries still tasted like snozberries. thematticuskingdom
(That’s the last time I’m checking Urban Dictionary for definitions.)
immediately steal The Queen’s title. thematticuskingdom
(CATFIGHT!!!)
check the calendar to see if it was some sort of Freaky Friday. thematticuskingdom
(Doublecheck that it isn’t 1976.)
Poke someone… Yes of course with my finger 😉 lol Andro
(Whew! Because you can take someone’s eye out with those other things!)
Flirt a lot more than usual, hey I’m kidding 🙂 Andro
(What is more than an “infinite” amount?)
Slap myself twenty times… Shouting get me out of here – Andro
(Two men enter. One man…umm…nevermind)
prove that men can have multiple orgasms. Aussa Lorens
(We don’t because of the dehydration risks.)
Finally be able to kill my own spiders. The Sailor’s Woman
(Well that’s not taking very good care of your pets…)
become a militant feminist and chide my former self for intense dumbness (Trent)
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
Fart and blame it on the dog, yell at the TV and pretend to fix stuff. Kayjai
(Even better if you don’t own a dog!)
Listen to the song “If I were a boy” by Beyonce? #WeirdIKnow
(So…bad taste in music regardless of gender?)
Slap myself across the face repeatedly just so I could wake up from this horror
(So you’re still into that, regardless of gender?)
take a duckface selfie (Stacy)
(At least you’ll be able to hide it behind facial hair.)
scream
(Like a little girl?)
wear kilts and suits! NBI
(You can get a mankini. Good for any gender!)
have serious balls. (Nadia)
(If you’d grown up with them, they’d probably be more playful…)
Do a pee, leave the seat up and think HARD about WHY I do something so annoying! Miss Lou
(Or revel in doing it the right way!)
Be dumber than I was before I went to sleep Elyse 54.5
(Yes…but you wouldn’t care!)
Scratch myself in public and then spit on the ground in front of myself
(Hmm…not sure which gender you’re changing to…)
get a big set of fake boobs!! SnB
(Oh, I have a pair of those mounted on the wall.)
(Zoe) Wonder why I had a man in my bed
(Because if he were under it, it would lead to a whole lot of questions…)
(Zoe) I would have a new toy to play with.
(Careful it doesn’t go off while you’re cleaning it…)
Be boring as hell! SnaapyG
(We prefer to think of it as “being introspective”.)
Find out which organ I really think with… (Gretchen, drifting through.com)
(No thinking involved.)
(With either of them.)
…be glad to give my brain a break from doing all the thinking. (Miz Yank)
(Or start thinking about important stuff!)
Make my husband, 37, get a sex change — Linda Vernon
(Just don’t let him do it with his own tools!)
In my best Corleone way I would yell out “I GET TO ACT LIKE A MAN” Marie Nicole
(I thought every man acted like a boy?)
play with my new boobies… Twindaddy
(You wouldn’t return them when you changed back, would you.)
earn 20 cents more on the dollar and never again wait in line for a restroom!
(Wait in line? We just pee outside when it’s crowded.)
PMAO… be glad I have long, sexy legs.
(Nono, this is after the sex change.)
still write about my naughty bits – Rutabaga
(What, no video?)
Refuse to answer the question for fear of reprisal. (Frank)
(If these polls have taught me anything, it’s that there are no right answers.)
Enjoy peeing standing up. (Deanna)
(Why not? I often enjoy it then! Or while walking…)
see if scratching my junk is all that it’s cracked up to be. Polysyllabic Profundities
(Once you scratch junk, all else is…bunk!(?))
Relish having one thought at a time. Bliss! – Sandy Mitchell
(Mmm…relish…)
I would never reduce myself to a single orgasm entity. – Sandy Mitchell
(There’s an amoeba joke in there somewhere…)

Congratulations to Trent for this weeks winning answer! (And we hope he uses his prize to work out his issues.) And from the offered choices, the most popular was still look great. So congratulations on all the self confidence!

This week, Easter is coming right before Passover leaves. But instead the end of the weekend, this poll is about what happens at the beginning. Good Friday! What could be better than that.
Well, that’s what we’d like to know.
Answer often, but answer soon, because this one closes at 2359 EDT on Tuesday, 22 April. Try and keep yourself to three Other answers if you do write-ins, and if you do leave an Other, add a way to recognize you at the end, and I’ll link back to you next week.

And since the new Captain America is out (good flick. Stay til the end of the credits.), enjoy this as we head into the weekend.

See you…out there.