Tag Archives: Immortality

Friday Foolishness – Turquoise Edition


Today’s Music: Julie Ruin – Stay Monkey
Note on Today’s Music: Because it has the word “monkey”, I have to ask you to check out the great new home of Words For The Weekend.
It’s a contractual thing.
Don’t ask.

Sun rises, sun sets. 7 times, in fact, since the last time we did one of these. And in that week, I had a lot of fun bouncing around reading blogs. Here’s some of what I saw.
Momshieb dialed it down. Cayman Thorn and his son discussed Fenway Park, and GingerFightBack did something about institutionalized bullying.
Oh, and LifeConfusions gave me a Versatile Blogger Award! (She really deserved it. I got it from her because of tithing. She has a great site, and I hope you guys check her out.)

Thanks to them and everyone else for some time well spent reading this week!
CalendarPages-XS
Oh what I could have read if I were immortal. But what would you have done? That’s what we asked in last weeks poll. And now, your answers are burned into my brain forever. Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are eternal in italics.)

see Hangover 13: We Promise, Last One sometime.
(Some things just don’t improve with age.)
piss on the front steps of several politicians, then knock the door.
(If you were a politician, it would be knock on the door, then piss on whoever answered.)
Sleep some. Then some more. Then maybe a nap. butimbeautiful
(Even immortality wouldn’t give me enough time for all the beauty sleep I need.)
…try to kill myself around the age of 120.
(Is that thousand or million?)
Amass enough wealth to visit all my blogging friends – Benzeknees
(At my current income, I’ll be dead by then.)
I would learn to tap dance without falling in the sink… Andro
(Maybe you should learn to tap dance outside the kitchen…)
Live a very long time 🙂 Andro
(You call this living?)
…guide humanity towards greatness. – Hotspur
(At last! Hot dogs and buns in the same size packages!)
probably commit suicide – calahan
(I don’t think you understand how this works…)
Grow a ZZ Top beard (Frank)
(I’m already doing that with my ear hair!)
brickhousechick says, eat as many mac n cheese burgers as possible
(Immortality means you’ll be able to live with the indigestion. For a long long time.)
read every book ever written (I’d be an immortal nerd) Stacy!!
(Because of a similar mindset, WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
Start my diet in 6,999 years…zannyro
(What’s the rush?)
Eat poison straight from the jar. Linda Vernon
(80s music comes in jars?)
show up at Vera Farmiga’s door with flowers every night until she said yes
(You realize she isn’t immortal, right?)
want to die.
(Umm…it’s good to have goals?)
Try one of those convenience store hot dogs, till then – forget it – Alex A
(Half the great taste comes from the risk of death!?)
Have more time to write stuff clever enough to get posted here… PMAO
(Wait – clever stuff gets posted here?!?)
Take a nap. If I’m going to be around that long I want to be at my best. (SPP)
(Just outlive anyone who says you don’t look great. Suckers!)
Have lots of sex with strangers… wait IMMORTAL or IMMORAL? (UndercoverL)
(If you’re having sex with them, they probably aren’t strangers anymore.)
does that mean that you are not? (SnB)
(Ask me in one thousand years.)
Spend more time on this answer than what I just have. Kayjai
(I’d probably still not spend any time coming up with these answers.)
Continue to avoid Dostoyevsky.~~Addie
(Crap! Is he immortal too???)
Still not bother reading depressing Russian lit. Elyse 54.5
(Ah, so you’ll be reading Chekov instead)
finally win at blogging. thematticuskingdom
(That’s just crazy talk. Next you’ll want to win these polls.)
hide away from the world so as not to be studied like a lab rat. thematticuskingdom
(*puts away cameras and hides cheese*)
hate reinventing myself every generation. thematticuskingdom
(You could just join the Rolling Stones.)
take some heads while saying “there can be only one.” thematticuskingdom
(Where would you hide your sword when you’re naked?)
I would BASE jump off the roof of my house- Susie Lindau
(More rewarding than laying second BASE for the Rockies!)
be immoral. Rutabaga
(I was supposed to wait to be immortal for that?!?)
Start rock climbing and conquer “impossible” climbs. Immortal means you bounce?
(Sounds like you’re planning less on “climbing” and more on “falling”…)

Congratulations to Stacy for an excellent use of immortality! And from the offered choices, the most popular were I don’t know. But I could afford to do it sloooowwwwwly… and DO THESE POLLS FOREVER!!!!!!. So congratulations to all of you who take your time answering these. I really do appreciate it.

I'm on a quest!

I’m on a quest!


Next week, I’m going to disappear. Not in a David Copperfield “where’s the elephant” kind of way. My girl and I are going to make up for a crappy summer by condensing ours into one week in the Caribbean. And the internet where well be is apparently so bad that I’ll be completely offline until we return.
Fortunately, The Most Wonderful Girl In The Universe and I won’t be leaving til after this post goes up, so you have plenty of time to make suggestions!
And just to give you something to do, this one will be open late than usual, until Tuesday, 5 November, 2359 EST.
(And if you leave an “Other” answer, leave a way to identify you, and I’ll link back to you next week.)

And until we meet again, enjoy these.
In honor of Apple releasing yet more iStuff:

And I was reminded of this while reading the latest post from Lily In Canada. Because the classics never die.

For those in the US, don’t forget to change your clocks on the 2nd. Revel in that extra hour, and have fun until we meet again!

Friday Foolishness – Prolonged Edition


Today’s Music: ZZ Top – La Grange

Finally, the week is almost over! I’ve been waiting for this since…well, Monday morning. How did I get through the week? By reading blogs! Here’s some of what I saw…
Aussa Lorens posted tips about recognizing and dealing with a stalker. Giggles McJill turned up, and Mike wrote a fantastic reinterpretation of Goldilocks.
Great stuff, from them and all of you.
Regret2
Last week left us looking back at some of the more foolish things we’ve done, and what, in fact, we regretted. And wow, do some of you have some sad tales! here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are remorseful in italics.)

Not wearing leotards in the winter when I was a teenager – Benzeknees
(I don’t regret wearing the leotard. I regret not wearing anything over it.)
Farting without a gas mask 😦 Andro
(If only you had learned from previous mistakes…)
Not calling in sooner… again 😦 Andro
(I regret not calling out sooner.)
Shouldn’t have broken the Multimedia projector in my uni&ran away(Lifeconfusions)
(You ruined the lesson on the socio-militaristic implications of SpongeBob…)
Dating a Man Twice My Age (Aussa Lorens)
(As long as the next one doesn’t have just half your IQ.)
sleeping with kato kaelin. but since this will never see the light of day…..
(I regret knowing who kato was.)
Taking off a slip before gym class. Finding it on class flag pole after. ~Maddie Cochere
(I’d have just given gym class the slip.)
Watching the Dexter finale. ~~Addie
(Spoiler alert: Walter White did it.)
A song by the Gazette! Yeah! Hotspur

(I regret not finding out what hair gel that guy(?) uses.)
regressing into regret. – calahan
(At least you weren’t addressing an egret.)
Never really taking a stand on plain or peanut. Linda Vernon
(Where ever you stand, wash your feet after.)
Not entering last week’s poll. Elyse 54.5
(Just when you thought you were out, they pull you back in!)
It’s hard to have regrets when you’re perfect. –Lily In Canada
(I regret my modesty.)
spending five minutes trying to think of something to say here. thematticuskingdom
(I regret my stats don’t incrememnt by the minute.)
not having any regrets. thematticuskingdom
(Showoff.)
Washing down that cheeto burrito with Crystal Pepsi.
(I regret not being closer to the bathroom when I did that.)
not taking that left turn in Albuquerque! sandylikeabeach
(Just don’t go there during wabbit season.)
not changing my name to Guapola and becoming a famous blogger (SnB)
(Crap! Does that guy know I’m using his name???)
my ambition to be 5’9″ will never come to fruition – Rutabaga
(I regret I didn’t stretch myself for that dream…)
This is just an excuse to quote “My Way”, isn’t it? Not A Punk Rocker
(I regret having a Frankie Says shirt with that on it.)
Not being Canadian so I could have won last week’s poll (Frank)
(On the other hand, that means Bieber isn’t your fault.)
(I hope.)

Another winnerless week, so Congratulations to everyone who avoided that stigma! And from the offered choices, the most popular were a tie between trying New Coke. and It was a weekend in Paris. The sun was warm…the wine had nose…the babies were smoking… So congratulations to everyone who can admit those terrible things to themselves!
Bethlehem
I think it’s obvious that I don’t spend a lot of time crafting these polls. But if I had the time, would I? And more importantly, if you had the time, what would you do? That’s what the inquiring minds at Guapo Labs want to know this week. But you don’t have forever to think about it, because this one closes at 2359 EDT, Wednesday, 23 October, so get your answers in by then.

And until net week, because of the general crapiness of the world, it’s noce to be reminded that there are still some of us romantic saps out there.
Enjoy this…

Hope you all have a great week!

Friday Foolishness – Leather and Spandex Edition


Today’s Music: Train – Save Me San Francisco
Note On Today’s Music: Not a big Train fan, and the song has nothing to do with the post. But it’s a fun song and a fun video, so I thought I’d throw it in.

Well, that was a fun week. Started bad, got a little better, got ridiculously hot, and now it’s on the verge of finishing. Thank. God.
We had our new overlords in from overseas, and they did not make life easier. On the bright side, I sent out a resume for a position I’d like to get, so hopefully I’ll get a call from them.
The upshot is that I wasn’t around the ‘sphere near as much as I wanted to be. Most of the posts I managed to read I did in my email. But there were still some great ones.
Sights N Bytes told a story about a possessed guitar. Adair put up a perfectly named post about random stuff. Though it could also have been called “Ear Wax and Why We Love It”.
And more thoughtfully, ShoutAbyss put up an excellent post about the NRA that doesn’t have the usual vitriol a topic like that inspires.

Thanks to them and for everyone else out there. You guys put up wonderful posts that remind me there are better things to do than work too hard, and I thank you for it!

Hard to remember, but it was just last week we were discussing death. Specifically, the thing that doesn’t kill you.
And boy, did you guys have some strong opinions. So here they are, your responses to last weeks poll, What doesn’t kill me…. (As always, my comments are immortalized in italics.)

Better run!
(But it’s exercise that always gets me!)
will keep trying unless you kill it first. liveclay/Laura!
(What did you do to piss off the telemarketers?)
is anything that ends with ‘ia’ … insomnia, dyslexia … (kanerva)
(Actually, death by euphoria sounds like a pretty good way to go…)
is called parenthood (kanerva)
(Well, yes, but not in mainstream magazines.)
better run like hell because I have “cramps”- enough said! FinallyWendyWanders
(And, as a guy, I think you’ve said too much!)
helps me understand Calculus?
(Nothing like solving a mass/velocity equation while running for your life!)
makes my therapist wealthier
(Tell me about your mother. $500 please.)
may eventually result in a lucrative book deal
(Yeah, but what do you do for the sequel?)
is sure to try harder next time. ~flame
(I prefer “If at first you don’t succeed, screw it and take a nap”.)
makes me really really annoyed!
(You wouldn’t like me when I’m annoyed!)
will only make me stronger and baaaaaderrrr
(HA! That was its plan all along!)
will, eh, nevermind. I never complain about being alive. sandylikeabeach
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
better fucking run. Lilly
(I bet you say that to all the boys!)
Underpants! Bats0711
(Still hung up on those poor rollercoasters…)
Runs when I wake up. Red.
(Exactly what do you look like when you get out of bed?)
…knowing it has to sleep sometime…Red.
(Oh, yeah, that’s what I thought you meant! *cough cough*)
will leave me believing strongly in euthanasia (Elyse 54.5)
(Why help it to win?)
are the terrorists who keep poisoning my food & gave me an inefficient colon.
(If you don’t eat the bacon sundae, the terrorists win.)
The terrorist one was me – WhatIMeant2Say
(See, Homeland Security! She’s in with the terrorists! Not me! (You can pick her up at Harvard this summer) (hehehe))
is mimes, they suck. John Phillips
(Mimes can only kill you if they escape from that box they’re trapped in.)
makes for good blog fodder!
(Megashark versus Octoblogger!)
probably will give me explosive diarrhea. Love, Edward Hotspur
(After it’s done not killing you, you should definitely make it do your laundry!)
makes me _wish_ i were dead
(Well, that’s fatalistic of you…)
Will most certainly give me more wrinkles and grey hair! SnaapALicious Ginger
(I didn’t know you suffered from stress, Ginger. I thought you were just a carrier.)
is apparently a really bad hit man. – mikecalahan.wordpress.com
(I really hope you’re not complaining about that!)
makes me want to kill them.
(Turnabout is fair play.)
should have, because now, I’m fucking pissed. (Lorre)
(I see you as Clint Eastwood in this one…)
Will still probably kill me.-Lily
(That’s the spirit!)
makes me longer (popular saying from the Spanish Inquisition) Linda V
(No one expects the Spanish Inquisition…)
is clearly underachieving Stay Abnormal
(Well don’t encourage it!)
makes me a believer in the benefits of alcohol. KJ
(You’re only coming to believe in that now???)
will come back to haunt me (Frank)
(If it gets you, you can haunt it!)

Congratulations to sandylikeabeach for her life affirmingness! And of the offered choices, the most popular was “had better pay my bar tab!”. Damn right. It’s the least it could do.

Last weekend, my girl and I made it to see The Avengers. And it was a lot of fun! Personally, I thought Bruce Banner had the best scenes in the movie. And can someone explain to me what Natasha’s super power is? Other than not sweating all over herself while encased in leather and fighting like a tornado, I mean.
Following that line of thought, I started wondering, what would a good superpower be?
Which brings us to this weeks poll.
Dream big, fellow Asylumites! But dream it soon, because this poll closes at 2359 EST, on 28 June. Leave a way to tell who you are in the write-ins, and I’ll link back to you next week.

So there you have it. And to keep the foolishness rolling a little longer, these are for your entertainment.
This is from the pre-finale fight near the end of the Avengers. Without seeing the whole movie, it’s not as good, but I thought this was one of the best bits.

And for those of you that lament the lack of spirituality on this site, I give you Reverend Jesse Jackson.

Have a great weekend, y’all. See you when I see you…