Tag Archives: jimmy buffett

Friday Foolishness – Breaking News Edition


Today’s Music: Jimmy Buffett – Coconut Telegraph

One day. That’s how long it lasted. We got home from Portland on Sunday morning. By the end of Monday (a day of work, chores and responsibilities), I was exhausted and drained again.
I need another vacation.
Fortunately, mini-breaks were provided in the form of blog posts!
Kayjai gave a great guide on how to tell if you’re too old for a hangover. Stacie put up her first political post about her buddy Paul Ryan, filled with great points!
For all of us working on our novel, Red put up a great opportunity. Bumba cut my liquor bill in half by explaining the meaning of life.
And No Blog Intended gave me a Sunshine Award! Probably because I’m a seething cauldron of nuclear explosiveness.
Well, maybe not. But if you aren’t reading her stuff, dude, you’re missing out.

Thanks to them and all the rest of you. It’s good to know that whenever I need a break from the real world crazies, I can always turn to you guys.

And after that, we can turn to what you said in last weeks poll. We asked how your autobiography should start.. Y’all have some interesting stories to tell! And apparently, several of you are Guapos too!
So here are your opening lines. As always, my comments are literary in italics.

All I ever wanted, in my unique oddball sort of crazy way, was to fit in. Lizzie
(Second line: And then I found wordpress!)
They call me Glumpy Shaver. Linda V
(Ah, but do they call you that to your face?)
[Dueling Banjos, at least the first 27 measures] – liveclay
(I hope that’s the only part of the biography that resembles Deliverance!)
Regrets, i have none, we did what we needed to do. John Phillips
(Soon to be a major motion picture, starring Jason Statham, Jean Claude Van-Damme, and Danny Devito as “Hoss”)
Last night I pooped my pants in public… again. Quirky
(Please tell me there won’t be a scratch and sniff edition.)
Just because they wouldn’t let me fly the last space shuttle, it didn’t mean …(Kanerva, I guess…)
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
Kanerva submitted the space shuttle comment!
(What an odd way to start a biography…)
You know you are in trouble when…Red
(It would be a much shorter book if it were “I was not in trouble when…”)
I’m almost ready to change my domain name to: http://www.blog@god.com
(I hope a dyslexic dog doesn’t beat you to it!)
You must be bored if you’re reading this.-lily
(Your book can replace SkyMall magazine!)
As soon as they pulled the donkey off of me, the midgets started doing crack. Hotspur
(A televangelist autobiography!)
I got your autobiography right here. Brain Tomahawk
(Don’t the edges of the bookcovers hurt stuffed in there?)
Bipolarmuse is the 1st of my personalities, allow me 2 introduce u 2 the others.
(Darryl and your other personality Darryl? (anyone??))
long long ago in a galaxy far far away…(SnB)
(Your story takes place in New Jersey in the ’80s?)
I’m really not as crazy as they say (Elyse 54.5)
(If you have to defend it…)
Oh God. *Sigh* What was I thinking?
(My autobiography has a distinct lack of thinking.)
It was the best of Guapos, it was the worst of Guapos – calahan
(, it was the Guapo of wisdom, it was the Guapo of (wait for it…) FOOLISHNESS!!! Dickens has nothing on us!)
ab·nor·mal/abˈnôrməl/ Adjective: Deviating from what is normal or usual, typical (Stay Abnormal, I’m guessing…)
(Is this Funks autobiography? Or Wagnalls?)
I wse a loleny byo? butimbeautiful
(Sounds like a great story, but fire your proofreader!)
I was born a poor black child.
(Subtitled: Steve Martin’s lesser known but cooler twin)
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was Kayjai time! KJ
(Pre-order now, and get free Hammer pants!)
There once was a man named Guapo (Frank)
(I get the feeling there’s going to be guano in this story too…)

Congratulations to Kanerva for winning this week’s poll! And from the offered choices, the most popular was It was a dark and stormy night. Because I guess a lot of readers live in the Pacific Northwest. Or London. So congratulations to everyone!

Which brings us around to this week. Blogger extraordinaire, President of Canadia, and all-around cool person, KJ is traveling to the land of sun and margaritas. That’s right, Florida will be hosting her and her entourage for a visit! So besides asking you all to be on your best behavior and carefully inventorying your drinking supplies, we want to ask you, what will be the big news from her visit? Jet skiing on along the beach? Annexing Disney World? Going for a delightful run with the alligators? You tell us.
Pick a headline, or report your own. But report soon, because this one closes at 2359 EST on Thursday, 23 August.
(As always, if you leave an “Other” answer with a way to ID you, I’ll link back to you next week.)

I hope you and yours have a great time, Kayjai!
And for all the rest of us – until she gets back – I leave you with these.

Last week’s “They Call Mr Tibbs” choice got me thinking about classic movies. Here’s the last scene of Casablanca, which I think stands up well against all the other classic scenes in that film.

And second, an excellent clip from Inherit The Wind, based on the Scopes Monkey Trial.

Have a great weekend, y’all. Next week, I’ll be putting up the bungee jump post, possibly with video, definitely with pictures.
And man, does my hair look magnificent!

Advertisements

Friday Foolishness – Horror Edition


Today’s Music: Halloween Theme Song

Welcome to the WordPress house of horrors. Don’t worry, there are no limericks awaiting you on today’s post…unless your mouse accidentally clicks HeRe or hErE!!!

Yes, it’s Friday the 13th. But before we move on to that, let us revisit…FRIDAY THE 6TH!!!!!! (Wow, that really isn’t scary at all…)
Last week’s poll had people throwing all sorts of things into the Hokey Pokey: (italics, as always, are mine)
putin Barking In The Dark
(Da, comrade. Da.)
Weapons-grade plutonium
(I’m not saying you’re wrong, but you may have some issues there…)
I will not work the blowup doll into this answer.
(but I had such high hopes!)
Sense of Balance
(Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of a good hokey pokey?)
my ass. ‘Cause it’s funny to shake it all about. ~flame
(Funny and fun!)
Jupiter and half a bag of onionsLinda Vernon
(I have absolutely no idea what this means. Which means Linda wins this week’s poll!)
Kayjai
(Not sure if someone wants to put Kayjai in the hokey pokey, or if Kayjai wants to be in the hokey pokey. Either way, I approve.)
My left fin and my plastic ass. a la Jimmy Buffett.
(And math still sucks!!!)
what if I choose the wrong thing?? then what? fall off the bridge? nooo.lizziecracked
(There is no wrong thing. Just know whether the thing is African or European.)
the earplugsJohn Phillips
(Why? It’s not like we’re reading limericks…)
My ass, though I really don’t need a reason to shake it!sandylikeabeach
(You’re an inspiration to us all, Sandy!)

Since we’ve already seen that Linda won (CONGRATULATIONS!!!), we can now reveal that the most popular of the offered choices was
the knife. Deep. Because now that song is stuck in my head.
I can’t help but be touched. And afraid.
And congrats to all of you wonderful, wonderful, homicidal folk that picked that.

But now, the wind is blowing…the trees are creaking…off in the distance, a wolf is howling…
Hold on a sec – HONEY!!! Please turn off Ustinov reading Peter and the Wolf. I’m trying to blog here!!!

Okay, it’s Friday the 13th, and even though I’m not superstitious, I have to get back to the kitchen or the cauldron will bubble over and there will be split pea soup everywhere. so without further ado…
(Leave your name for a linkback if you write in an answer!)


As always, the poll will close next thursday at 1159pm.
And to keep you safe until then, Enjoy these.
The first was put in my head by Ashley Jillian

And this one was inspired by lizziecracked.