Tag Archives: jk rowling

A Literary Limerick – Goblet Of Fire


Today’s Music: the Cranberries – Loud And Clear

Welcome to yet another round of Guap has nothing good to write and is taking it out on you the finest in poetic literary synopsii, where we reduce a quality text to inane drivel.

Today, we turn our eye to the next book in the Harry Potter series, Goblet Of Fire.
If you haven’t seen the rest (or blotted them out of your mind to escape the trauma), I invite you to click Limerick above the banner and experience the horror experience anew!

Goblet of Fire is the heartwarming tale of a boy who struggles through life’s travails in search of the perfect treacle tart. Truly, this book has it all. As well as, after this limerick, the extra credibility of a hack knocking the stuffing out of it.

*One note before reading – I have absolutely no idea what the syllabic requirements of limericks are. And I’m too damn lazy to look it up. But I’m pretty sure this one is even further off than usual. And you’ll have to read in 1/16th notes at the end to keep the meter.
It’s a limerick folks. You’ve been warned.

The Goblet Of Fire

For Harry, the competition was grim
When it got down to Cedric and him.
They went from the maze
to a field full of graves
Soon-to-be-sparkly Diggory died on a whim…

If anyone needs the website of a reputable mental health professional, let me know.
And you’re welcome!

A Literary Limerick – Prisoner of Azkaban


Today’s Music: Ramones – Rock & Roll High School
Days Til Spring: 29

I am actually thinking of doing a political post, but I won’t be around so much this week to moderate and respond to comments.
The topic generates a lot of vitriol, and there is the potential of some very unpleasant name calling from non-regulars who wander over to troll. (I have found the regular name calling that goes on here to be very pleasant and entertaining.)

Since I’ll be away for a couple of days (Van Halen in Indiana. Because who doesn’t want to go to Indiana in February?), I thought I’d give you something that I know will generate hatred in the comments, without having to wonder.

So, we now continue with the latest installment of abominable Harry Potter limericks. You’re welcome. Oh, and feel free to check out all the literary limericks by clicking the Limerick tab up by the title bar.

    The Prisoner of Azkaban


The dog in the bushes was mysterious.
Harry though that he might be delirious
There were a wolf and a mouse
In a very haunted house

but the hero, in the end, was Sirius

Have a great week, and try to recover before the next Friday Foolishness poll.
Seriously, you’ll need all your strength for that one.

A Literary Limerick – Chamber of Secrets


Today’s Music: Iggy Pop – Lust For Life
Days til Spring: 70

I got nothing. Rather, I have all sorts of stuff, I just haven’t written any of it down.
Fortunately, JK Rowling was kind enough to string out a well known series into 7 books and 8 movies.
So while I try and write up Ernie’s visit, or learning to scuba dive, or how beer does not in fact go with everything (don’t pour it into your chicken soup. Trust me.), I can at least – with minimal effort (really, minimal) – continue with my limericky retelling of the Harry Potter saga.

You’re welcome.

Everyone said that it was a secret
But Harry’s interest was piqued
Guilderoy was no help –
At his own shadow he yelped.

But with a phoenix, the basilisk was beated.

If you’ve managed to read this far, feel free to gack in the comments. You’ve earned it!