Tag Archives: Skydive

Live every day (every so often) like a lunatic.

Today’s Music: The Allman Brothers Band – Jessica
*Note on Today’s Music: I absolutely love this song. Hope you enjoy it too.
Days Til Spring: 16!!!

And if you can, please help out Merbear.===========================>>>

Live every day like it’s your last!
I’m not a big fan of that phrase. To me it always meant “Go out and accomplish every dream you have NOW!!!!”
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for accomplishing dreams (the more inane the better!), but do you have any idea how exhausting that would be???
I took a vacation once. Spent a day sailing on the Caribbean, two days scuba diving, drinking and wandering every night, then came home with just enough time to pick up a pair of tickets from someone and drive out to the beach for a concert.
Went back to work the next day, and called in sick the next day because I was beat. Plum tuckered out.
I needed a vacation to recover from my vacation.

I personally couldn’t imagine doing everything I want to do every single day.
But there’s one stunt that I could do say once a month.

Go rock climbing.
In scuba gear.
No, wait, stay with me here.
Strap the flippers to my back, and wear extra padding under the scuba tank. Which would be under the parachute. (If you’ve been reading me for a while, you know where this is going.)
Do a nice six or seven hundred foot climb up a cliff face. Drink a lot of water on the way (wetsuits are ridiculously warm). Get to the top, step away from the edge and enjoy the view.
Step a few feet further back from the edge.
Then run like hell…and…LEAP!!!

Like this, but from a cliff. In a wetsuit.

Like this, but from a cliff.
In a wetsuit.

Sail off the cliff cackling with only the piece of mind that barely-functional insanity can provide!
Clear the cliff and toss the pilot chute up, dragging the main chute out. (Do it fast. It takes four hundred feet for the canopy to open.)
At ten feet off the water, pull all of the chute harness’ quick release pulls. Arms crossed over the chest (still holding the flippers. You didn’t drop them, did you?), point your toes because you’re still moving pretty fast, and…SPLOOSH!
Fit on the mask and the flippers.
Swim at a leisurely pace underwater to the nearest unattended jetski.
Ditch the tank and vest (flippers too), climb on, and throttle up towards the nearest tropical beach.
Find one not too busy, with a thatched roof bar restaurant visible from the water.
Crank the throttle and ride that puppy right on to the beach. Extra points if there’s a boat ramp and you leap that sucker with a flying dismount towards the bar.
I can see the jail from here!

I can see the jail from here!

Pull the Hawaiian shirt out of your bag, put on the shades, and order the lobster for dinner. And a drink. With a lot of rum.

Could you imagine trying to do that daily???
But just once, wow, would it make a hell of a day!

And how are you spending your tuesday?

Friday Foolisness – Self Referential Edition

Today’s Music: ZZ Ward – Move Like You Stole It

Well, the end of the week is finally here.Or as I like to call it, the beginning of the good part of the week. And how did I try and improve the not so good part? Why, by reading blogs of course! Here’s some of what I saw…
Budget Cooking Blog has expanded his garden. Kayjai wrote a love letter to New Foundland, and And ButImBeautiful told us about the Sorceror’s tampon.

Thanks to them, and everyone else, for some very interesting posts this week!
But it can’t all be about cucumbers and tampons. There are also polls! Well, one poll really. From last week, when we asked about how to deal with bugs. Here’s what you said. (As always my comments are itchy in italics.)

By invites to my neighbours house, the little buggers, no not the bugs πŸ™‚ Andro
(Ah, then you’re referring to “pests”.)
By the use of my Anti-Bug-Invader suit of course πŸ™‚ Andro
(Glad to see lime green polyester leisure suits still have their uses!)
Sporting a wonderful mix of sunscreen, deer, and campfire smoke. myjampackedlife
(It makes the elevator seem so cozy…)
A flamethrower and napalm. (Madame Weebles)
(There you go, doing things in half measures again.)
I have an extremely wicked catapult πŸ™‚ Andro
(Be a shame if a bug bit it…)
Oh that’s easy, just giving them directions to the neighbours house πŸ™‚ Andro
(Crap. I didn’t realize I was your neighbor.)
By zapping them of course πŸ™‚ Andro
(I’m too nervous to check Urban Dictionary to see what “zapping” means.)
Wait… What?!?!? Those listening devices I keep finding? Janet
(I heard you as you were typing that.)
Just drowned ’em singing “We’re Not Gonna Take It” (true story) – Marie Nicole
(Proving once again that truth is stranger than fiction.)
By never going outside–Lily In Canada
(Why would anyone want to be outdoors in Canada? Bleagh.)
Maybe we’re putting illegal pesticides around the house (earwigs)
(Maybe the police are monitoring this blog for people just like you?)
Playing them last summer's hit "Call Me Maybe" – The Waiting
(Woah! Overkill!)
Electric bug swatter. Made in China. (Stacy)
(I can get you one from India for 39 cents less!)
brickhousechick says, I use a use a Jolt Bug Zapper Racket! They work!
(I think you’ve drank enough Jolt…)
it's winter in sydney. I'm in the right hemisphere – Steph Rogers
(they’re dreaming of you while they hibernate.)
By NOT watching the Michael Shannon flick of said name. Cripes!
(I thought that was a documentary…)
Shaved my cat. Bugs go after her now.
(After shaving your cat, I’d think the bugs would be the least of your worries!)
I've invited them all over to my house — you guys have a bug-free summer! Linda Vernon
(I’ll make sure they write their names in their bathing suits!)
I just eat the bugs… PMAO
(Are you crashing Linda’s cookout again?)
Spiders for flies, birds for spiders, cats for birds… thematticuskingdom
(Where do you keep the hungry old lady?)
Away? Funk that… I join them. It's the only way. thematticuskingdom
(And thus does the Zombie Insect Apocalypse begin…)
Beer. The slugs drink it then die, leaving the strawberries for me. WG
Never venture outside, wait is that possible?
(I haven’t been able to tear my self from my computer long enough to find out…)
You mean, people actually go outside? Say it ain't so! —Addie
(Well, people do. But they’re hippies.)
(And iPhone users.)

bugs love the smell of soap.I will give up washing until winter (SnB)
(Best cover story for laziness ever!)
kalashnikovs. (Try to aim as good as you can…) NBI
(Wimp! The real pros use bows and arrows.)
I have Igor eat them – Rutabaga
(And he’d like to have a word with you about that…)
They don’t mess with me. Not sweet enough.. Elyse 54.5
Not showering! Miss Lou
(I think most of the people on my subway use the same strategy.)
Playing Slim Whitman music because it worked against the Martians (Frank)
(It works against humans too.)
Go somewhere cold. In other words, stay home. Kanerva
(I want to live in an ice cream shop too!)
I put out dishes filled with alcohol and voila – drunk bugs. It’s awesome. Kayjai
(I find that hard to believe. You, sharing the alcohol?)

Congratulations to Elyse 54.5 for this weeks winning answer. Because if you’ve hung out at all with her online, you know that’s so untrue, it’s funny. And from the offered choices, the most popular was Flamethrower! (At last – an excuse to use it!). So congrats to all you arsonists that couldn’t be bothered with a simple citronella candle.
Good times…. But what would happen if next week, there was no poll? (Relax, it’s hypothetical.) But what would you do? That’s this weeks poll. Answer as often as you like, but do it by 2359 EST on Wednesday, 17 July, because that’s when this one closes.(And if you leave an β€œOther” answer, leave a way to identify you, and I’ll link back next week.)

And until next week (settle down. I expect to be here), just add this to “Possible ways for El Guapo to die with a smile on his face” pile.

Have a great week, y’all!