Today’s Music: Dead South – In Hell I’ll Be In Good Company
As she put it…
It was a typical Thursday, at the end of December. Guap was back from another round of saving the world. This time that involved terrorists, twerking, that orange powder they use to coat Cheetos, and chocolate pudding.
He was taking a much needed day off (I can’t tell you how badly Cheetos dust and pudding react to each other) and decided to go skiing to celebrate the end of the year, and the approach of spring in a few months.
He made it to the top of the lift and was considering which trail to take while adjusting the bindings on his 192cm solid titanium rocket skis (a gift from the King of Montenegro) when he heard the first scream.
There was a woman – a pregnant woman, holding a baby, at the top of one of the trails – wearing rentals!
Guap ski’d over as fast as he could to see if he could help. As he got closer, he could see her expression was one of unmitigated terror! She turned at his calls, then turned again – facing straight down the mountain. She pushed off, the newborn squealing in her arms as the edges of her cheap rentals grabbed the snow and gravity propelled her down.
He raced to catch up, focusing only on helping the beleaguered damsel. He rocketed past the copse of trees where she had been, not seeing what had caused her overwhelming fear until it was too late.
A Yeti rocketed from the evergreens, it’s horde of miniature reindeer accompanying it with a fierce whuffling noise to drive fear into the hearts of men.
But Guap was made of stronger stuff. Using the snow bumps to his advantage, he skied circles around the mythical horde, raising a cloud of ice and snow to blind even the hardiest of winter nightmares. Knowing it had been beaten and that the prize of the pregnant woman and her spawn had escaped, the Yeti unleashed a mighty bellow of rage!
The bellow unsettled the precarious sheets of snow and ice resting loosely on the mountain face and they began to slide toward the base. Guap knew what he had to do.
Casting caution to the wind, he raced down the mountain, calling on all his skill and all his luck. He caught up to the pregnant woman just ahead of the cascading avalanche. He hurled himself to the surface just above her, and used his body as a snowblock to protect her from the tons of ice and snow.
She was saved.
But Guap…poor Guap. A ski glove that had been lost the previous season, spending the year being slowly encased in solid ice, was the last thing down the hill in the avalanche. It was aimed directly at the poor woman’s head. Ignoring the pain, Guap tore his leg from the snow and held it between her and the projectile.
He saved her. At the low, low cost of shattering his lower leg in three places.
And he’d do it again.
As he put it…
I was turning to stop at the top of the first run of the season, to see what the terrain looked like. One ski bit beautifully, arcing through the hardpack snow. The other didn’t.
And down I went.
The truth, I expect, lies somewhere in between…
And how is your year going?
Oh my God!!!! First, great friggin’ cray-cray story- telling!! Made me love the “truth” or somewhere in between even more. Sorry sweet love!! But glad you are healing and in such good spirits and back writing your blog. All’s well in my world. 2019, I’m just getting started!! Hugs! 🤗
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After your book last year, I can’t wait to see what you’re getting started on!
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Holy what the hell?! This is what you do to us for your return to blogging?! I just…. um, glad to see you’re back better than ever!
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Umm…but I even added pictures? 🙂
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I just meant, I wish you hadn’t had to severely injure yourself to start blogging again!
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I did a double take when I saw you in my inbox. I love the song. How are you?
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Aside from the leg, I’m doing alright.
How are you?
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It’s very earlier in the morning. I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I got up to a dark sky and an unexpected email notification. I immediately knew I kept it on for a reason … but I didn’t think it was because you messed up your leg! Then again, at least you did it during an adventure. Welcome back after almost 5 years!
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Good to see you Frank! I posted this last night mainly because I knew the Ohio atmosphere would provide perfect ambiance for this story.
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As I’ve gotten older, I can’t say I enjoy the cold and snow. How’s the recovery?
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Going about as well as can be expected. A little less pain every day, a little more mobility.
Still looking at another 2+ months though.
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I figured you may be bored, so why not return to blogging. 😉 … Cheers to a good recovery ahead.
Hey … FYI … I have a weekend concert series (this is the third)… this weekend – Queen. Concert starts Saturday 1 AM (Eastern US, our time). Of course no duplicate songs. A good way to get a blog concert.
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It’s about time. I’ve missed you so much my hair turned short…and gray…er. Xoxo Raye
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And yet, your hair is as elegant and classy as ever, just like you!
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😳. Oh Guap! Get better soon!
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I just hope I’m better before the painkillers run out!
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Yikes! A hero healing… Great read, welcome back!
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Thank you! And the pregnant woman’s infant gave me a big slobbery thank you kiss.
Blech.
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Get well soon. Do you think you will ever ski again?
On the bright side, maybe you will have more time for blogging now!
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I will definitely ski again. Just more carefully.
(Right now, the challenge is convincing my wife I can still ride a motorcycle once I’m healed up.)
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What a pleasant surprise to see your name in my inbox! Broken bones aside, I have missed your storytelling. Heal quickly, my friend. xx
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Thanks so much, Poly!
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I hope you are a good patient for TMWGITU!
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Her patience is astounding!
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Ouch. As I was reading, I was thinking you better have a bear in this story, but you surely topped a bear with the Yeti and reindeir horde. Heal up soon.
As for the song … have you been hanging around Trent Lewin lately.
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The bear showed up later with some tequila to help until the painkillers kicked in.
Trent always did have good taste in music.
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The tequila mixed with painkillers … a perfect ending.
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I knew you could come up with a good story for how it happened. I’m very impressed with how good but not at all surprised. Keep recovering. Soon it will be a blip in the distant past. xxoo
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My wife (tmwgitu) decided the truth was entirely too boring.
Maybe shorter skis and a gentler, softer slope next time…
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OMholygod, poor you! Heroic you! Crippled you! I can’t even tell what part of your leg that first photo is, but if it’s supposed to be a straight bone, I’ve just lost the b-fast that I’m about to eat. Thanks for sharing this epic, mythological confirmation of why I chose to cease & desist skiing (skise & desist) years ago when I had a similar experience in Taos (without the compound fractures): “Hmmmm, wasn’t that ski supposed to pop off when my foot twisted beyond 90º??” And that was it. I hope you heal well, and quickly. I’m so sorry your leg was sacrificed for the greater good. xx
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But the compound fractures are half the fun!
I’m glad you learned your lesson without the pain. Sadly, I still haven’t, and am already hoping to get back on the slopes.
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Stay safe! LOVED your music choice for the post, BTW :))
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OMG, Dave, welcome back! I was SO excited to see you in my inbox!!! ***happy dance***
The story was fantabulous, and who questions where, exactly, the truth lies, anyway? And I am sure you will ride (and ski) again!!!
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Fortunately, we live in a post-truth age!
I’m going to be spending part of my convalescence polishing the bike.
Riding season is coming!
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Yikes. I stood at the top of a black diamond hill and realized I was scared to death. No Yeti, just a hill. My 70th birthday had passed and something told me to knock that crap off. I made my way down slowly. Stepped out of the skis and have never returned, Sorry about the leg. You have some nice screws in there for sure.
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I admire your restraint!
And with all the screws they put in me, I guess a few of them had to be nice.
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😀
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Gaupola! You don’t know how thrilled I was to see your post in my inbox. Then how bummed to see it was because you broke your leg saving the world. Perhaps consider sky diving next time??
Wishing you a speedy recovery!
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Motorcycling, paddleboarding, and of course, more skiing!
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You’re supposed to break your enemies’ legs, not your own.
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I broke my own so my enemies have no doubts about my level of commitment.
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I find that they don’t doubt my commitment when I break theirs. They’re usually too busy cursing my name… and the rest of me.
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GUAP! Dude!
so glad to see you back! Can’t believe you broke your leg – here’s to quick healing and stuff. What a hero 🙂 I’ve missed you. Hi to TMWGITU!
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Good to be seen, Lizzie!
(She says hi)
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😎
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This is probably why doctors recommend that pregnant women do not ski – because pregnant women apparently tend to provoke Yeti attacks.
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It’s very selfish of them to put the rest of us at risk just to show their fetuses the joys of out of control speed.
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Ugh! Dave, hope you heal quickly, and that there’s enough drugs to help until you do.
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I have pretty good painkillers, which I need a little less each day.
Sadly, I can’t get a medical marijuana prescription to help. Guess I’ll have to stick with the over the counter stuff. 🙂
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I’m sorry but the only part of this I found the least bit plausible was the Yeti, and that simply because I happen to be sitting next to one right now, and he says that they do in fact love pregnant women. Yeti fetish. There, I just wrote my next story.
Hope you’re doing well beyond the leg issue, Guap. And thanks for shouting at at The Dead South! The Dead South lives!
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Only the Yeti was plausible?
SNOW IS REAL! I SWEAR!!!
Saw the Dead South last month. They are quite goofy live.
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WOW…
What an entrance 😦
I hope you are doing
much better now my
fine friend, that injury
looks horrible to say
the very least. I would
suggest a new hobby,
bu definitely not pole
dancing at the moment,
though is could be nice
to watch as your leg is
improving, just don’t
let your better half catch
you or it could be very
dangerous… lol
It’s Hump Day too but
getting your leg over is
not going to be easy…
Yes I know, still full of cheek.
Catch you later Guap
Andro 🙂
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A crutch is kind of like a pole. Maybe…
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Duuuuuuuuude……………….
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Yep.
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oh yeah!
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What the meth? Glad you survived, humor in tact. 😉
xxx
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If replace it for my leg being intact!
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I do hope you’re completely mended now…and EL GUAPO YOU’VE BEEN AWAY TOO LONG!
The only
news here…hubby went down the basement stairs backwards three weeks ago while we were trying to move furniture…small bone broken in the back. He’s an amateur compared to you.
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Argh! I feel his pain. I think we all know that stairs are the real monsters
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I now have a hostile relationship with stairs.
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Guapo!! I missed your thrilling comeback in December!
I’m so sorry to hear about your leg. It looks so painful. I hope you’re fully mended and surviving the pandemic with the rest of us.
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January 2019!! Whoa. I am behind!
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Take your time, nothing to see here anymore.
I ran out of words.
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No news is good news!😎
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Well I’m back here and now I find you have long since gone, hey but if I have returned, so can you, said the zombie pointing his finger and shouting something…No he didn’t, it was me 🙂 lol
Have a wicked Friday evening and weekend Guap 😉
Andro
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Gruesome picture! I try to get my writing group to gallop off into barefaced fantasy but they won’t. We need you!
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Thanks! And thanks, but I don’t really write anymore. Just ran out of things to say for the moment.
But sometimes you’ll see me lurking about…
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Of course, I had to stick my head in here to see if you’ve been posting, and OUCH! what a post. I realize this was three years ago, but still – OUCH! I hope you’re fully recovered by now. But what I really wanted to comment on was The Dead South. I only recently found this ensemble, and I’m addicted to ALL of their music. I sometimes put Spaghetti on a loop and just listen to that for an hour or so. Their Live in Boston video on YouTube also occupies a lot of my time. You always had a knack for picking good music. 🙂
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