A Literary Limerick – The Hobbit


Today’s Music: The Dangerous Summer – The Permanent Rain

Today, we return to the playful corruption of great literature, in a piece requested by the much loved (she paid me to say that. Even though it’s true.) Ginger Snaap.
The main story will follow at some point (I should probably reread…nahhhh), but this is the first piece to begin the epic.
(No, The Silmarillion doesn’t count. Because I’ve never read it.)

So pull up a mug of that fine hobbit wine, sharpen the tips of your elven ears, and threaten your neighbors into silence with your Dwarvish axe.

As we limeri-cize…The Hobbit….
HobbitFeet
The Hobbit
To him, being hungry was the worst.
He stole Precious and made Gollum’s heart burst.
The Dwarves sought to bag him
To help beat the Dragon.
That’s how Bilbo spent his eleventy-first.

You’re welcome.
(You can see all the limericks by clicking Limerick above the banner.)

And as a palate cleanser, please, enjoy this.

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63 responses to “A Literary Limerick – The Hobbit

  1. ha I went to a tea event that was hobbit themed. All (including the food) based on the first chapter. Was something to experience I must say….

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  2. I liked the second breakfast idea of those guys! Have you seen the movie?

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    • I haven’t seen the movie, but I’ve read the bok at least half a dozen times.
      (And who doesn’t love a second breakfast?)

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      • I read it once too, and then forgot everything about it… EVen when seeing the movie again, I didn’t really remember all the happenings.
        It was quite spectacular though, especially in 3D.

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        • El Guapo
          / August 20, 2013

          There was a full-length cartoon version of it in the 70s that was pretty bad, done by Rankin and Bass, who also did a whole bunch of christmas shows.
          Then Ralph Bakshi (cool world) did a hideous animated/live action Lord of the Rings.

          Some people say they are great. I’m not one of them.

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  3. What a double treat Guap! First, I must say I’ve missed your literary flair — it has been a long time since you did a limerick.

    And the Nemoy clip — who knew Spock had such a good singing voice AND a sense of humor!

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  4. We know the fight of a ninja
    Even if it is never to deliberately injure
    With a clap of a trap
    Or a zap of a strap
    There’s only one Snaap of a Ginger

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  5. Love the limerick! And now I feel like I’ve had an acid flashback after watching that clip. :)

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  6. SQUEEEEEEE!!

    OHMYGAWDILOVETHIS!

    *sigh*

    ICANTWAITFORTHENEXTONE!

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  7. Filthy hobbitses.

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  8. Being hungry certainly IS the worst!! LOVED this, Guap! :)

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  9. whiteladyinthehood

    Guapo you are something else! (and that Nimoy video was really something else, too) :)

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  10. You are a man of many talents Guap
    but Limerick’s I had not had you down for
    but how wrong I am my great friend :)

    Spock Rock… lmao
    Maybe he will try out one of his
    neck pinches after his performance,
    hmm that is if he can tear himself
    away from the silver and gold :) lol

    A truly great posting this one Guap
    I wonder what Jim would make of it? :)

    Andro

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  11. Fabulous addition to the collection!

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  12. So… wait… is this upcoming or from the past? Do we get to help? I don’t get it… I want a brain…

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  13. limerick great…weird guy singing about hobbits, not so great! You have scarred me!

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  14. All of these witty commenters and me without my wit. sigh….

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  15. I haven’t read the Simarillion either. I tried once, many, many years ago. I don’t think I’ll try again.

    Considering some of Leonard Nimoy’s musical output in the 60s, I’d say “The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins” is among his less-embarrassing works.

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  16. Superbly done..
    You managed to.condense.the.Hobbit.into.5 lines and having read the book at one point ..I think you covered the main points into.a more enjoyable.read. definitely less of.a timesuck. Are you taking.requests?
    Hi TMWGITU! ;-)
    Good.one.Guapman..you are becoming quite the limeri..cist?..sounds good right?

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  17. Loved that video on the end…thanks for the smiles, El :)

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  18. I was moved to tears……

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  19. I love this! Still sharpening my elven ears to get the most out of a re-read. Bravo!

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  20. That was fun! And rather clever! :)

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  21. Have a fun rest of evening my great friend :)

    Andro

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  22. How the hell did you find that video? Randomly? Or were you out there specifically googling Spock and the Hobbit? I need to know. I think I may stay up until you tell me. This is killing me! :)

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    • I’ve no idea how, but I came across this long ago. (May have been on metafilter.com).
      I’m pretty sure I’ve used that video before on my blog too.

      The classics never die!
      (Sleep well.)

      Like

  23. Ugh! The clip reminded me of the soundtrack from the LOTR animated movie and the ghastliest song ever! “Frodo of the nine fingers and the ring of doom…”

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  24. I always wonder why hobbits don’t wear shoes. Don’t they feel hurt when walking on scratchy ground?

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  25. I wonder if I could teach this talent to high school students? <3

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    • I don’t know if it’s quite a talent… ;)
      But I bet you’d get some interesting responses!

      You reminded me, a long time ago in grade school, I got busted reading a scifi anthology called “The Last Man On Earth…”, a bunch of great stories all based on that premise.
      Instead of getting in trouble, she gave the class a creative writing assignment to build a story starting with The last man on earth sat in a room…

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  26. Of course Leonard Nemoy would be ahead of the curve with a music video. I have no words.

    Like

Ahem *best Ricky Ricardo voice* Babble-OOOoooo!!!

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