Wave Hello. Now Wave Goodbye. Now Wave Hello Again


Today’s Music: John Mellencamp – Just Another Day

So around this time last year, my mother was getting ready for a heart procedure that would end, ultimately, in her passing.
It was a difficult stretch of time, as readers that were here at the time might recall. I put up a few posts about her condition, and a few about mine at the time.
Before that, my father-in-law went through open heart surgery. It took him a while to get through that, and then through rehab, and finally back on his feet.
During both incidents, I and my wife (The Most Wonderful Girl In The Universe) visited both parents constantly. In the months this was going on, we missed maybe 12 days. (7 of those were spent in Portland, a trip which my family said we should take since it had been booked before hand. And we needed the break.)

When December 31 2012 rolled around, I couldn’t have been happier to see the rear end of that year.

So here we are in 2013. TMWGITU and I go just about daily to visit my father-in-law in rehab, this time due to a clot that lodged in his leg, cutting off all circulation to his lower leg for a few hours.
The hospital responded well, and within hours of his admittance, they were performing surgery and successfully cleared the clot.
One of the side effects of the procedure is an incision that was made in his leg to drain any swelling. That incision cut muscle which is what needs to be rehabbed.

So as I said, our summer so far is once again trips to visit in rehab. And cleaning. but that’s a different rant.
(We have to clean his apartment so that he’ll be able to navigate with a cane/walker/whatever.)

It’s funny how everything old is new again…

So, another week goes, another week comes. This part of the story will have a happy ending soon enough.

But if this keeps up, I’m just going to disconnect the phone and have them hold my mail next summer.

I'll have nine please.

I’ll have nine please.

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100 responses to “Wave Hello. Now Wave Goodbye. Now Wave Hello Again

  1. Hang in there guys, and you know where to find me if you need anything!
    Hint: I’m living under your couch now…

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  2. Be strong as you are doing the right thing!

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  3. I hear you. Our time in this type of situation came to its inevitable conclusion last week. Not fun, even when all turns out ok.

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  4. Hang in there – you’re a good person to keep up the visiting – sometimes you just have to make that ‘the new normal’. And my heart to you regarding your mom’s passing.

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    • Thanks so much Rutabaga. And we’ll be there through the whole recovery til he’s back on his feet (literally).
      It’s somewhat small of me to complain, but being able to vent here does make it easier to keep up with the being supportive.

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  5. This is difficult but you’ll make it. You have help, too!

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    • If it weren’t for my wife, I probably would have drank myself into a stupor by now.
      Sadly,she’ll kick my ass if I do that.
      (In a good way though…)

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  6. Awww, that kind of schedule is daunting to even those with free time, let alone people who work and live and stuff. Remembering your mom at this time of year, thank you for the nice tribute to her on your blog. I hope your father-in-law recovers quickly and will be in good spirits soon.

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  7. Just think of how much fun it would be if you could rent power equipment. I am thinking cleaning the FIL’s place with a Bobcat and a cherry picker would be so much more entertaining. I am dreading doing this at Momma’s. Between my sisters and me, we have decided it would probably be easier to build them another house.

    HUGZ for you and TMWGITU. You know where the SIB is. Feel free to be S any time.

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  8. Like sands thru the hourglass…
    All of a sudden that makes sense…in a weird way. Its quite possible if you put in for it now, next summer may be available..
    Hang in there .and say hi to TMWGITU f or me šŸ˜‰ please .and greetings Nd salutations a other pleasantries I believe should have been at the beginning ..now in the middle becausevi wanrted to stir it uo a little putting them all in at what is not thw end due to my going on about it… the more things change…the more they change… *looks like a herring..

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  9. These are the things we have to look forward to as the teeter-totter totters the other way. It is our turn to take care of them. It sounds like you have a good handle on it with lots of support…just remember to use that support. That is what they are there for.
    Nine sounds like a really good number…to start.

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  10. I wish your Father-in-law a speedy recovery and you and your TMWGITU the best.

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  11. First let me say that I am sorry about your mom Guap, and then all the worry of your father-in-law after having open heart surgery, which is not a very nice experience even with today’s technical advances, I should know as mine took place in the pioneering days of heart surgery so I am a sort of veteran, being that I am still here. My parents were told that I would not reach twenty one so I am very grateful to the skills of my surgeons, they certainly knew what they were doing.

    Life has many twists and turns my great friend and what a lovely thought that your father-in-law will soon be alright again. Keep plugging away Guap he will soon be home navigating your updated version of his apartment, and very pleased that you did all the work for him so that he can enjoy a better life.

    Have a fun rest of morning, a wicked afternoon
    and an evening of… Well whatever you like I guess? šŸ˜‰ šŸ™‚

    Andro

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    • Thanks Andro. I didn’t know you’d had heart surgery. Glad it worked!
      I’m very much looking forward to him being up and at ’em again. And independent too.

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      • I don’t think that I have ever told anyone on
        networking as it really has never come up, so
        this is a first for me Guap. I never even think
        about it to be honest as it was literally decades
        ago and luckily everything was a success šŸ™‚ šŸ™‚

        Have a very nice evening Guap šŸ™‚

        Andro

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  12. What a wonderful son/son-in-law you are. Some would just find excuses to avoid getting involved and remove themselves from the situation. Your family is lucky to have such dedicated loving people you and your wife seem to be. And, keep drinking.

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  13. It was Oscar Wilde who said ‘No good deed goes unpunished’…. but then again he also said ‘People who count their chickens before they are hatched act very wisely because chickens run about so absurdly that it’s impossible to count them accurately.’

    What a clever fuck he was! You’ll survive this, Guapo, and carry on. It just might not seem like it right now. Go ahead and have a few shots.

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  14. You are a good man, Guap. You deserve that pony.

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  15. I can’t do anything but wish you strength. There are times I almost wished I believed in a higher power.

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  16. Sorry, my friend. You are such a good soul. I hope that everything works out and quickly. All of us northerners live for the summer months. I want you in that Hawaiian shirt and dancing on top of the bar. (I said”that Hawaiian shirt” as if you only have one! Lol!!!) I know better.
    Anyway, I digress. All will be well soon. I feel it. šŸ™‚
    Grippy xoxo

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  17. Just today I reread the mail you sent me about your mother when I saw it in my inbox…
    You’re such a good person, and this post shows that once more. Ii hope everyone around you will be healthy and well soon, and that you get a break you deserve. I’ll send all the good vibes I’ve got to you this summer – promised!

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  18. braintomahawk

    WHEN we meet up again, the first one of those shots is on me.

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  19. I remember those days. My mom had a triple bypass a couple of years ago. The days leading up to the procedure were absolute hell as I worried about all the things that could go wrong.

    Then after the procedure I nearly broke down when I saw her for the first time. She was so pale and hooked up to so many machines. She looked dead.

    She made it through everything fine, thankfully, and I visited her during lunch every day she was at the hospital and on the nights I didn’t have the kids (they weren’t allowed to see her, but I snuck them in a couple times anyway).

    I’m glad to hear your FIL is doing fine, but I know how difficult the rehab can be. I wish you all well on this journey.

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  20. I, too, remember days like this and they do drain energy but they are also such valuable days. I visited my Dad every day after teaching in a local school. He had lost his sight and as a writer and reader that was hard but we got through it with laughs and love.
    When things were tough, and they have been at times, as they are for us all, my lovely Mum used to say, “This too will pass,” and it does.

    I send you both love and strength to help you through these days.

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    • Thank you! This is our third time around with something like this. And even though this time is relatively straightforward and not near as frightening, it still is difficult enough to go through.

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  21. You and TMWGITU are amazing souls. Should I ever make it to NYC on one of those airplane things, may I buy you two a drink? Well, two drinks…you don’t have to share.

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  22. Visiting with and taking care of loved ones can be overwhelming. We went through it for many months with my husband’s father in a nursing home. It does throw a glitch into your matrix, but it is the right thing to do and ultimately gives you peace. I’m glad to hear your father is doing well, and best wishes to him for a quick recovery.

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  23. Sorry to hear about your mom’s passing Guapo, you never get over it but eventually things get better; that was my experience. But life is full of moments that cause you to pause and reflect. Thankfully, they are not too many. Hang in there!

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  24. I can’t believe that it’s been a year since your Mother passed….I remember how busy you were…work and then trekking off to “Mom”….you gave her a big gift just by being there…and yes, you’re doing the same now…giving your father-in-law a wonderful gift..just being there and caring. Kudos Guapo…:)

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  25. I am not the best person to give pep talks – it has taken me several decades to learn to just be in the moment, even if the moment is not ideal, or the way I want it. So I will just say that this will pass, as everything does. And maybe summer 2014 will be as you wish. ā¤

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  26. The last couple years we gotten to the end, sighed with relief and looked forward to things being better in the coming year… only to realize that the old struggles were replaced with new struggles, and they cycle continues. Keep on keeping on. You are doing great by helping out those in need… and remember to take care of yourself too.

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    • Great advice, and great thing to remember. When this is all over, I’m going to take a mental health day or two from work, and just sack out.
      Possibly on a beach…

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  27. Aw, you’re an excellent man, Guap.

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  28. I can commiserate with you and will send positive vibes your way. It’s tough having to go through health battles with parents and can only hope for a speedy recovery for your father-in-law and that you still take some time for yourselves. All the best, my friend to you and TMWGITU.

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  29. “Just another Day” is a great song. A lot of unheralded gems on that album.

    When it rains, it pours. I’m sorry for the health issues you guys are having to deal with (even though they aren’t YOUR health issues), but it makes me happy to think that there’s a convalescing older gentleman who is loved and cared for.

    I really believe that the good you do now will follow you for the rest of your days.

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    • That would be nice, Smak.
      Unless it’s just following me trying to bum a cigarette…

      I was trying to use that song for a while, but wanted it to be appropriate for the post.

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  30. Good karma to you! I guess there still are nice guys around, you just proved it. šŸ™‚

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  31. Would you like to borrow Wonderbutt for the cleaning? He will get rid of any extraneous items on the floor – and I mean ANY.

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  32. whiteladyinthehood

    I’m so sorry, Guapo! About 5 years ago my mom had a stroke and I can remember living at the hospital and being completely worried and exhausted. She lives alone and they wouldn’t release her until she “re-trained” her body to do everyday things she had to do on her own…(she was convinced the staff was lazy because why, oh, why would she pay them to wash their dishes and fold their sheets!!!) It was a very frustrating time. I wish a speedy recovery to your father-in-law and some peaceful downtime to you and your girl.

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    • It sounds like your Mom is a tough feisty lady.
      I think the venting gets it out of my system so I’m supportive in all the other stuff that needs to be done.
      In this case, there really is no one to get upset at. No one did anything wrong, no one mis-diagnosed, or didn’t take pills or…

      Makes it even worse that it can happen so randomly.

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  33. Oy vey. No mas!! I’ve had years like this too. First Mr. Weebles had cancer, then Mother Weebles had open-heart surgery, then for extra fun, she was treated for breast cancer. That better be it for a while.

    Here’s hoping dad-in-law gets rehabbed and recovered quickly, and here’s hoping you stumble upon a vat of vodka martinis in the meantime.

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  34. You are doing the right thing, and that is a good thing, El.

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  35. Best wishes, Guap. I hope he recovers well and you guys get a break. That’s tough…

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  36. Sorry to hear that, hope all goes well.

    That tequila image is bringing back horrible memories

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  37. Guap, I envy you the ability to care for them first hand. I was far away and afraid of the telephone and later email.

    There will be lots of other summers. And you can still drink so you’ve got that going for you.

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  38. This post is a good reminder that life is fleeting and the only thing we can do is take everyday as it comes and find something to be thankful for. šŸ˜€

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  39. Sorry to hear this Guap – keep going that – is all you can do

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  40. Keep your head up Guap, things will get better. as for TMWGITU, I would say that she has been fortunate to have met and married TMWBITU (The Most Wonderful Blogger In The Universe).

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  41. Sir,
    This touches close to home, my grandpa had to go deal with a clot on his leg too, however, because he’s diabetic he had to have his leg amputated. We all thought he was going to fall in a bad depression, but soon he was making pirate jokes about his wooden leg.
    You are a good man, not everybody is willing to “alter” their routine like you do.
    Best wishes to both of you and a wishes for a quick recovery to your in-law.

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  42. The first year is the hardest, then it mellows out. I’m glad you have the most wonderful girl in the universe on your side because the most wonderful chick on the planet was already taken (me! ha!)

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  43. Hope everything turns out ok. You are a great strength. šŸ™‚

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Ahem *best Ricky Ricardo voice* Babble-OOOoooo!!!

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