Beatnik Poetry Slam – Travelin’ Man


Today’s Music: Sandra Boynton – Cows

hipster-cow
*El Guapo, resplendent in an ironic Hawaiian shirt strides to the mic*
“Beats and Birds, Dudes and Dames, Tonight I’d like to introduce the famous Ray Kroc, providing musical accompaniment on the cowbell.”
*The man on the back of the stage looks surprised. He rushes up to El Guapo, and (covering the mic), they have a brief but heated conversation. Ray drops back offstage and begins pulling something. El Guapo hangs his head and shakes it before returing to the mic.*
“Apparently there was a miscommunication.” *He glares at Ray who is now smiling, positioned alongside a Holstein.* “He’ll be playing the…cow.”

*The spotlight focuses on El Guapo*

The traveling man
Goes places others only dream.
*moo*
Some bring laughter,
Others make him scream.

But when he comes back
*moOOo*
(for he’ll always return)
One question
Continues to burn

He asks once *moo* more,
That Travelin’ Man
“Does anyo*MOOOOO*ne know…

Where I am?”

*moo*

Dig it.

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64 responses to “Beatnik Poetry Slam – Travelin’ Man

  1. Good stuff, Maynard … er … I mean El Guapo. I’d sure like to know how he played that cow.

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  2. To totally appreciate this, I had to put on a beret and heavy frame glasses. As Maynard G. Krebs would say, “Dig? I hear my people talkin’!”

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  3. I played the gazelle in college. They’re much more flighty than cows. Man… so jealous. I want to play the cow!

    p.s. I am SO glad I had that glass of Chardonnay prior to clicking on over here!

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    • Chardonnay is just another trick The Man uses to keep us down.

      The cow is easy to play, but hell to wrestle the case on the bus for band practice…

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  4. Very Moo-ving….I dig it.

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  5. This hung the moooooon, daddy-o, I can dig it.
    Especially since I have 9 cows. I can really dig it. I don’t want to know how you tune a cow though ((grimace!)).

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  6. Totes to the oats, dude! Awesome. My son got his PhD in Germanic Languages and Literatures and he is so going to love hipster cow. Too hip!

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  7. Snap, snap, snap, snap, snap…

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  8. No poet will ever embrace the *moo* the way you do.

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  9. Kroc and the cow… eternal enemies, and for us, eternal enemas before colon exams.

    Dug it, still diggin it, Guaporama. You the man, er, bovine, er… wait.. I’m confused… Amy (known to her daughter, swear to God, as “Mooooooooooo”)

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  10. *Waves Zippo*

    Play it again, Sam. Hold the cow.

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  11. Where’s the beef?

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  12. An interesting use of livestock in one’s poetry reading…that probably gave new meaning to the word ‘live’ reading….

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  13. Oh I do love Hippie Cows. Are you in Scotland?

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  14. whiteladyinthehood

    It was hilarious, Guapo! (I love your sense of humor)
    True story….when my best friend was little she REFUSED to drink milk because she thought the cow ‘pissed’ it out….

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  15. The discovery that he was actually moowhere must have been painful indeed.

    And pfft–I’m not going to read a street sign in Krautish, let alone Kafka. He was turgid enough in the original* English.

    * Yes, I know.

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    • I think being moowhere gave extra oomph to the existential angst this slam needed.

      Metamorphosis is still one of the creepiest stories I’ve ever read.

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  16. Awesome meaty goodness.

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  17. Mooo-chas Gracias for the laugh! 🙂

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  18. Poetry at his best!
    *applause*

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  19. I think you must be visiting someone in nearby Moo Jersey. Thanks to the good poems as I read it with bonjos in the background. Given all the Maynard G Krebs references, I couldn’t resist.

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  20. Oh, consider it dug! I use to have a Beatnik doll that talked just like this, but she didn’t come with a cow.

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  21. Hey, daddy-o! Your rhymes are like, so cool around all the pastures, dairies, and stock yards.

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  22. Totally love it. Now I want a burger.

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  23. Is there a side of cow tipping on the menu? (Is that really a thing??)

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    • I’ve never done it, but from what I hear, cow tipping is both a thing, and not near as much fun as it sounds.
      Plus if you screw it up, cows apparently get quite angry…

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  24. You have the beatnik thing down cold. Whilst wearing a Hawaiian shirt, which is nearly as impossible a feat as marrying a Kardashian girl for love. And by the way, where did you get the pic of Joaquin Phoenix?

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  25. I admire real travellers!!! They are fantastic, they make dreams come true! Moo

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  26. Sounds like the poetry from “Funny Face” with Audrey Hepburn & Fred Astaire.

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Ahem *best Ricky Ricardo voice* Babble-OOOoooo!!!

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