Today’s Music: Slim Harpo – I’m A King Bee
Days Til Spring: SIX!!!
And if you can, please help out Merbear.===========================>>>
Welcome to the last Foolishness before Spring begins. And what a week it was – the warm! The cold! The office shennanigans! How can one survive such madness? Why, by taking refuge in the ‘sphere, of course. Here’s some of what I saw…
Sharp Little Pencil wrote out her Mainfesto (in poetry form, of course). Anja wrote a great freeverse about Ego, and John Phillips put this winter in Perspective
Seriously, if I didn’t get to read them and all the rest of you, I’d have probably run for the hills after this week, so thanks!
Last week I asked for a different form of perspective – yours, on how you prepare for bikini season. And while none of you have body issues, that isn’t to say you are issue free. Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are sun-kissed in italics.)
doing yoga and praying – Curvyroads
(I’m praying I don’t have to yoga.)
Drinking, smoking and thinking impure thoughts. (Mollytopia)
(So…nothing special then…)
applying for my bikini hunting license. – calahan
(Remember, it’s “catch and release”. Not “release the clasp”.)
covering up. No one wants to see a monster truck tire on thunder struts. JakLumen
(You should model that in the Deep South…)
Ignoring the bikini mandate and eating lots of pasta. –PLS
(Bowtie pasta is known for its classic hourglass shape.)
Studying for the “Official Inspector” certification exam. BT
(It’s the hands-on inspections that get you in trouble.)
making a Rainbow Loom swimsuit ~whatimeant2say
(Not Fruit of the Loom?)
drinking ALL the beers! (Words & Other Things)
(Too late! *gulp*)
Dreaming of winter! (Stacy)
(Nightmare.)
Going on a liquid-only diet. Beer me! – Erin E.
(Blogger, me!)
hot wax, sunscreen and gin, not necessarily in that order.The Sailor’s Woman
(Wait – you don’t drink them all at once???)
Not eating carbs. (hypothetically)
(There are some fine vegetable liquors. (perhaps…)
Installing a few wicked Apps, I just hope I won’t be late… Andro
(Smartphones can kill?!?)
Slapping a few choice asses, bend over girls… Andro
(Pretty sure they’ll slap back. Hard. Perhaps with shovels.)
Removing as many as I can, when it happens… Andro
(I’m guessing that’s one before the cops show up…)
A million burpees! Amy
(I draw the line at seven hundred fifty thousand and eight.)
completely ignoring it! – Benzeknees
(Ask not for who the bikini bares. It bares for me, not thee.)
wiki searching “bikini.” thematticuskingdom
(Hey, if you have to ask…)
guzzling beer so I’m too drunk to go to the beach. thematticuskingdom
(The Hawaiian Tropic girls will be so disappointed!)
nothing. I live in CA – it’s always bikini season. thematticuskingdom
(I don’t think it counts as a season if it’s all the time…)
buying protective eyewear. (MizYank)
(A sleep mask might be the only way to avoid the horror!)
Bikini? ja,ja,ja! My skirted suit might see the daylight… someday.brickhousechick
(A long swimsuit! Leaving even MORE to the imagination!)
Um, it’s called a Burkini. Maggie
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
finishing this tub of ice cream – Twindaddy
(I don’t think that kind of oil protects from sunburn…)
digging a very deep hole. Elyse 54.5
(Much like me, in these comments.)
Moving to the Arctic for the season.~~Addie
(There are those who say that will be the warmest habitable continent soon…)
Getting ready?!? This body was born ready for the bikini season –Marie Nicole 😉
(They make bikini onesies?)
Consuming prunes and imported Mexican tap water to get to my birth weight
(And it will go through you as fast as baby food did back then!)
shaving my back…sooo hard to reach..(SnB)
(Maybe your barber will give a volume discount?)
collecting yellow polka dots. sandylikeabeach
(Can you fit more than six on that teeny thing?)
There’s a bikini season?! That must be the one warm day we have. Kayjai
(I thought I saw Rob Ford in one the other day.)
shaving my eyebrows off (Rutabaga)
(I’ll just be trimming my ear hair.)
Congratulations to Maggie for her modesty! And from the offered choices, the most popular, by a wide margin, was Lobbying to bring back the swimsuits of the 30s. The long ones. So congrats to all of you you too. Unless your modesty precludes you from accepting?
This week is Winter’s last one on the calendar til the bottom of the year. So, lets send it off in style, feeling good about itself. Offer as many well wishes for Winter as you like, but offer them by 2359 EDT, Tuesday 18 March, because that’s when this one closes.
Try and keep yourself to three Other answers if you do write-ins, and if you do leave an Other, add a way to recognize you at the end, and I’ll link back to you next week.
And until we meet again, enjoy this…
This one always makes me laugh, so I thought I’d use it again
Have a great week, y’all!
Thank you sir….virtual dad…..I think I need to write an Ode to Pink Himalayan Salt.
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Loved the way that post flowed.
Van Gogh may have thought about painting Pink Himalayan Salt.
But wouldn’t have considered himself up to the challenge.
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Man, this is a funny group of people… but the one thing I know is that I love/hate Matticus. Grrrr…. always bikini season… chugging beer… I’m going to write him a message he can see from California… in the snow… the pure white pristine snow…
So this week, my company merged with an Australian firm. That boat/front fell off video made the rounds like hotfire as a result, funniest thing ever… it’s not in the environment anymore… sheesh.
Thanks for the photo and the Rob Ford mention… I needed some good nightmares.
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Make sure you use a…yellow font.
It will show better on the sattelite image.
(I think Matticus just uses it as justification to wear his mankini year round.)
I hope your merger is cause for celebration. We bought twice in the recent past, and they’re just now starting to consider workflow integration.
Fun times.
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Ah yes, the yellow font with the thick lines… You hear that, Matticus?
I hope it is too. We just tripled in total revenue because of this, pure share swap deal (little or no cash). You might laugh (I think maybe you’re in financial sector, so used to really big numbers) but we’re now 1.5 billion/year. And I get access to global markets and the like. It seems like the right thing to do, but the devil’s in the details and how well the integration is handled and conflict of interest situations (we used to compete against each other) are resolved. Fun times indeed. Yesterday someone handed me a partial differential equation to describe how the revenue situation will affect the share price going ahead, and asked me to rationalize it… I seriously hate math, and think I need a new job. Anyway, no biggee, it’s just work.
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I asked the Queen about house swapping and she was game until she found out exactly how cold you get up there… then she decided perhaps our non-winter wasn’t too bad after all.
I still think it sucks.
We had one “winter” week this year… One. The rest of the time it’s been in the 70’s and 80’s (f). Gross. I didn’t even get to visit the snow as often as I normally would.
Happily awaiting your snow scrawled message. I bet it’s going to say, “Come on up for a visit.”
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You and Guap and TD, all of you come up, drag Art with you, and we’ll have a good stink-up. Tell the Queen she is more than invited, and that cold is overrated… yeah… sure…
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Can you find us a three day window in August where the temp is at, or only slightly below freezing?
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You drink enough Crown and ginger, you stop feeling the cold after a while… you really gotta get up here in the summer now too, it’s awesome.
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Why don’t you make it yellow snow?!
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I think I did, dude. That Matticus should be able to see the glow from Cali.
Did you hear the interview? If you really want a laugh… be gentle on me though, I’m sensitive.
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Ahahaha! Good.
No I didn’t what interview?
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On my blog. Have you ever even been to my blog, Zoe? Admittedly, it kinda sucks, but today you get to be graced by my dulcet tones… actually, it’s kind of hideous. I should have prepped. Or drank some scotch before I went in.
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I sure have been to your blog. I must check it today
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Dude, you never comment! Ah that’s okay, I’m a lame blogger and know it, but I bet you get a kick out of the interview. I’m even doing CBC on Monday, that’s gonna be scary. Gotta prep, gotta prep…
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Oh my gosh I thought I followed you and I didn’t. I do now!! Wholly crap I’m so sorry!!! I’ll check out your interview for sure tomorrow!!
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Le sigh.
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I know I deserved that!!
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These are too funny! I keep missing your question posts…must pay more attention!
I also woke the house laughing at “The Front Fell Off.”
Happy Friday!!!
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That video is years old – I first saw it way back when, and it still gets a laugh out of me every single time.
Good morning, and glad you enjoyed it!
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That’s a great video.
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thank you.
Clark and Dawes have a long series of them, just about all entertaining.
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You were outside the building this morning. Does that feel like SIX!!! days until Spring? Who are you trying to fool? Us or just yourself? Worst case of denial EVER.
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All of us (Fooli-ishness. It’s right there in the title.)
Snow predicted for Monday, but generally, the temps are going up.
Thursday (1st day!!!) is slated for 50F.
Leave me my fantasy. right now, that’s all I got,
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I am your keeping-it-real daddy.
No need to thank me.
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Ah….I needed this today. Thanks for the smile. 🙂
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Thanks Poly. Glad you enjoyed it.
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Burkini sounds like just the thing for me. Thanks to you and Maggie for making my beach dreams a reality again.
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As long as the burkini doesn’t cover whatever lively colors you’ve painted your nails…
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I shall wear finger-tipless gloves.
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The front fell off?
I just looked down.
Oh, geez……
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*falls over laughing*
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NO SPRING! NO SPRING! Let’s go BACKWARDS and have a winter re-do.
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Seriously, sometimes I really worry about you…
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Sometimes?
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I’m starting to think you lied about the palm tree being shaved into your chest…you know if there aren’t pics it didn’t happen, right?
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Pretty sure google would blacklist my site if I posted that pic…
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Google is all about a free internet. They would never do such a thing, except in China where it’s required.
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I have to say I work better during the winter, because I don’t want to go out when it’s raining. Now I’m completely wasting my time on sitting in the sun with beer. Which I really enjoy though :D.
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It’s slowly creeping above freezing here, towards the mid 40s.
I’m dreaming of the day I can sit outside with a beer.
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ah…burkini – that gives me hope. 🙂
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As a guy, I am very against them!
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Gosh, I hope no other fronts fell off 😯 😆
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Ha! I shudder to think what other fronts may have…
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😉
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ah, you made my day. i REALLY needed a chortle. actually, you made my year….keep going (no pressure)
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Glad you enjoyed!
(And I strongly suggest you get out more!) 😉
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I would but they only give me a day pass once a week….
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I’ve been reduced to sneaking out in the laundry bins…
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ha ha! don’t get tumbledried
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I will miss absolutely nothing about winter. N-O-T-H-I-N-G.
Well, okay, maybe just the super cute boots I bought at DSW.
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But now you can admire the boots without a layer of slush and salt on them!
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Word.
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Why all the scantily clad men nowadays. I must stop reading your blog at work in view of the office 😉
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Now I’m glad I didn’t post the accompanying 70s bass porn soundtrack with it!
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Sound is firmly switched off!
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My eyes! My eyes!!!! The image of that heinous swimsuit has scorched my retinas.
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*adds Mr Wild Rider to holiday gift list, marks him down for one mankini*
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Danny would howl and then he would try it on over his jeans.
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Six days ’till Spring????? Really? Promise??? Should I ignore the pending storm next week – Carajo! Those answers were hilarious! Congrats to Maggie.
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I’m ignoring the forecasts. Even though it just means I’ll be crushed next thursday…
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Loved the video. Hilarious! 😀 In your Polldaddy vote, you missed out “Being made fun of by Florida.” I was looking online to find out what that strange white swim costume is called, but all I could find was an ad which said, “Find the best selection of men’s swimwear at DICK’S Sporting Goods.” 😳
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Ha! I searched for “mankini” if you really want to see more of those horrors.
(I didn’t add the florida choice because I didn’t want to put you on the spot.) 😉
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I hope you and Ruta have a wonderful time hair-grooming this weekend…
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Egad! That would be fun!
(Until we got carried away and ended up bald.)
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Hahaha, thanks for the laugh-out-loud. And the fun visual.
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Once again I did not make the cut… so I am going to get one of those banana hammock things like that guy is wearing, and parade around until you notice me…
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Sure, rub in the fact that you have weather warm enough to wear it.
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Oh… I am… and I will… and there will be pictures…
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I think my vote got cut off… I am going to miss doing all those posts of sunsets and blue sky and flowers in San Diego that I do solely to drive people who live where it snows crazy.
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Got it. It well be added for next week.
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no… now I feel like I am resorting to guilt…
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Love Sandy’s answer!
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It was a great one! And good to hear from her.
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Yep!
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I only hope the front doesn’t fall off my burkini! Okay you’ll have to excuse me now, I have to go watch the door. I’ve always wanted to see winter’s ass.
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I think the dedicated burkini wearers wear two, just in case.
I’m going winter gets smacked hard enough to be a little timid next time…
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Have a good weekend, Guapo! (I hope you get some warm sunny weather soon!)
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Thanks Whitelady.
Nice today. But snow tomorrow.
Sigh…
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I hadn’t seen The Front Fell Off before – hilarious! A bit of Aussie humour goes a long way 😉
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First time I saw that (embarrassingly), I thought it was real.
Now I know those two are much smarter than politicians.
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LOL! They’re very convincing 😀
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I know you love winter, Guap. You’re just too stubborn to admit it. ❤
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Winter is best enjoyed near a roaring fireplace with hot chocolate.
Not on workdays.
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Agreed.
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OMG – that’s the second time in a week I heard the phrase “banana hammock.” Mollytopia tweeted that it was the number one search term for her blog.
I thought it was a pervy ride at a sex club. Then Arden told me it was a Speedo. And now Art has confirmed it. But it’s kind of a disturbing visual.
Drat! I keep forgetting to submit answers to the poll! I need to set an alarm on my phone or something…
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“Banana hammock” must be another gay slang term, along with G-strings being referred to as “meatslingers”. Oh right, meatslinger was last week with Jungle Boy.
I thought the formal name for the piece was “slingshot”.
I don’t get it. Both, when on women, is applauded. Both, when on men, is “scary”.
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Sound like the universe is trying to send you a message…
(Quick! Change your number!) 😉
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My eyes hurt from that damn picture!
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Such a sweet, sweet pain!
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No, no it is not!
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That photo is frightening, Guapo. I’m not sure I can get past it. Oh, our winter, as you know, was too warm. Sorry…spring is on its way. What will you do on the first day of spring? Are you planning to go canoeing? Surfing? Hope it’s something fun. Enjoy!
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I thought Sasha Baron Cohen wearing a “mankini” slingshot was the worst.
I was apparently so, so, wrong after seeing this image here.
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If you do manage to forget the picture, I have a pic of a very hairy gentleman is assless chaps, if you like. 😀
I’ll be at work the first day of Spring, but I’ll take a few minutes to just go outside and (hopefully) enjoy it.
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Ha ha…oh pass, Guap! I’m still recovering with the last photo. I hope you can step outside for a minute on the first day of spring! I hope it’s nice out.
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I loved The Front Fell Off — classic! Thanks, Guap. Have a good weekend and I’ll see ya around the ‘sphere!
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Thanks Elyse.
Looking forward to bumping into you, wherever that may be.
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Great answers to last week’s poll. Still grinning. Speaking of unusual facial expressions, and who isn’t, I’d never seen that video clip. Holy Scheiße, that was too funny. It made my front fall off.
No wait. It was going bra-less that did that.
Stupid gravity.
Great piece to begin the weekend my friend. Gracias!
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Those two have a ton of commentaries like that, an awful lot of them very funny.
Glad you enjoyed it, and have a great weekend!
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Dear lord….a mankind and the front fell off…..I’m still smiling….
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Those two really are funny!
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I’m going to be looking for them….so excellent
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“Burkini” was brilliant! I’ve enjoyed the foolishness ever since I started following you, but I especially loved it this winter. We needed it! Oh, and thanks for “The front fell off,” which was new to me. Hilarious!
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Thanks so much, MizYank.
The polls will be continuing on indefinitely, probably until they change my medication. 😉
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Thanks for the shout out. Been delinquent lately. Way to much fun this year. Great snow year in the mountains.
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Glad you were able to enjoy winter.
I’m just glad it’s wrapping up.
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Another big dump yesterday. Going to Sunshine Friday and Louise again on Saturday. Staying at fairmont in Louise. Spectacular spot. Never stayed there before
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Have fun! Sounds like you’re having the winter that never ends.
(While my winter just feels like it will never end.)
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I know, late as per usual but what a laugh I have had reading through these comments, I always enjoy my visits into your Space Guap 🙂 These Friday foolishness posts rock 🙂
And now onto the next 🙂
Have a great start to your Monday my great friend and keep up the awesome blogging around here, everyone has fun in your Space 🙂
Andro
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You’re too kind, Andro. Thank you!
And I’ve been enjoying your flash in the pan entries.
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Thank you for reading those Guap, actually I am enjoying writing them and have just another six to finish for this quarter 🙂
Thank you for your great friendship
and awesome support with my writing 🙂
Andro
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The bare white man thighs have blinded me!
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Those thighs are a beacon of hope to millions!
(No one I know. But millions…)
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That bikini makes last night’s episode of “Walking Dead” look like a Jimmy Fallon skit. Yikes! As for our Canadian neighbors, I’m not ready to forgive them just yet. They tried stealing bacon from us!
PS- That video is priceless.
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Apparently Canadians get very angry when you ask for Canadian Bacon. They blame us for calling ham that.
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Hahaha, the “front fell off”!!!
Your comments back to our answers are even funnier than the answers.
And dang it, I missed the poll deadline AGAIN…
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I love that clip. And thanks so much! every week I worry that the funny is finally gone.
I’ve been busier lately, so I shortened the polls by a day, just so I could have enough time to write them.
Already started Fridays…
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No, sir, the funny is DEFINITELY not gone. 😀
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Hey Guapo! I’m enjoying the music. I’m with your other CA folks. It’s always pretty warm here, but I did sit out in mine for a few minutes. Of course, my skin is turning to leather. Yikes! 🙂
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Missed the poll this week! My bad! I’m really struggling with Kelvin home all the time – I don’t get enough alone time for reading. After almost a week of warm temps we got fresh snow & cooler temps today – it’ll probably be gone by the end of the weekend. Loved the clip about the front of the boat falling off – sounds like our politicians here. Our premier resigned last night.
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