Somewhere, Over The Foolishness…

Today’s Music: Slim Harpo – I’m A King Bee
Days Til Spring: SIX!!!
And if you can, please help out Merbear.===========================>>>

Welcome to the last Foolishness before Spring begins. And what a week it was – the warm! The cold! The office shennanigans! How can one survive such madness? Why, by taking refuge in the ‘sphere, of course. Here’s some of what I saw…
Sharp Little Pencil wrote out her Mainfesto (in poetry form, of course). Anja wrote a great freeverse about Ego, and John Phillips put this winter in Perspective

Seriously, if I didn’t get to read them and all the rest of you, I’d have probably run for the hills after this week, so thanks!

Last week I asked for a different form of perspective – yours, on how you prepare for bikini season. And while none of you have body issues, that isn’t to say you are issue free. Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are sun-kissed in italics.)

doing yoga and praying – Curvyroads
(I’m praying I don’t have to yoga.)
Drinking, smoking and thinking impure thoughts. (Mollytopia)
(So…nothing special then…)
applying for my bikini hunting license. – calahan
(Remember, it’s “catch and release”. Not “release the clasp”.)
covering up. No one wants to see a monster truck tire on thunder struts. JakLumen
(You should model that in the Deep South…)
Ignoring the bikini mandate and eating lots of pasta. –PLS
(Bowtie pasta is known for its classic hourglass shape.)
Studying for the “Official Inspector” certification exam. BT
(It’s the hands-on inspections that get you in trouble.)
making a Rainbow Loom swimsuit ~whatimeant2say
(Not Fruit of the Loom?)
drinking ALL the beers! (Words & Other Things)
(Too late! *gulp*)
Dreaming of winter! (Stacy)
(Nightmare.)
Going on a liquid-only diet. Beer me! – Erin E.
(Blogger, me!)
hot wax, sunscreen and gin, not necessarily in that order.The Sailor’s Woman
(Wait – you don’t drink them all at once???)
Not eating carbs. (hypothetically)
(There are some fine vegetable liquors. (perhaps…)
Installing a few wicked Apps, I just hope I won’t be late… Andro
(Smartphones can kill?!?)
Slapping a few choice asses, bend over girls… Andro
(Pretty sure they’ll slap back. Hard. Perhaps with shovels.)
Removing as many as I can, when it happens… Andro
(I’m guessing that’s one before the cops show up…)
A million burpees! Amy
(I draw the line at seven hundred fifty thousand and eight.)
completely ignoring it! – Benzeknees
(Ask not for who the bikini bares. It bares for me, not thee.)
wiki searching “bikini.” thematticuskingdom
(Hey, if you have to ask…)
guzzling beer so I’m too drunk to go to the beach. thematticuskingdom
(The Hawaiian Tropic girls will be so disappointed!)
nothing. I live in CA – it’s always bikini season. thematticuskingdom
(I don’t think it counts as a season if it’s all the time…)
buying protective eyewear. (MizYank)
(A sleep mask might be the only way to avoid the horror!)
Bikini? ja,ja,ja! My skirted suit might see the daylight… someday.brickhousechick
(A long swimsuit! Leaving even MORE to the imagination!)
Um, it’s called a Burkini. Maggie
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
finishing this tub of ice cream – Twindaddy
(I don’t think that kind of oil protects from sunburn…)
digging a very deep hole. Elyse 54.5
(Much like me, in these comments.)
Moving to the Arctic for the season.~~Addie
(There are those who say that will be the warmest habitable continent soon…)
Getting ready?!? This body was born ready for the bikini season –Marie Nicole 😉
(They make bikini onesies?)
Consuming prunes and imported Mexican tap water to get to my birth weight
(And it will go through you as fast as baby food did back then!)
shaving my back…sooo hard to reach..(SnB)
(Maybe your barber will give a volume discount?)
collecting yellow polka dots. sandylikeabeach
(Can you fit more than six on that teeny thing?)
There’s a bikini season?! That must be the one warm day we have. Kayjai
(I thought I saw Rob Ford in one the other day.)
shaving my eyebrows off (Rutabaga)
(I’ll just be trimming my ear hair.)

Congratulations to Maggie for her modesty! And from the offered choices, the most popular, by a wide margin, was Lobbying to bring back the swimsuits of the 30s. The long ones. So congrats to all of you you too. Unless your modesty precludes you from accepting?

This week is Winter’s last one on the calendar til the bottom of the year. So, lets send it off in style, feeling good about itself. Offer as many well wishes for Winter as you like, but offer them by 2359 EDT, Tuesday 18 March, because that’s when this one closes.
Try and keep yourself to three Other answers if you do write-ins, and if you do leave an Other, add a way to recognize you at the end, and I’ll link back to you next week.

And until we meet again, enjoy this…
This one always makes me laugh, so I thought I’d use it again

Have a great week, y’all!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Start your countdowns!!!

Todays Music: The Kooks – Stormy Weather
Days Til Spring: 90

It was harder than usual to wait for today to post this. It’s felt like winter here in NYC for a while now (though tomorrow is supposed to hit 60 F). And Autumn is just too early to start this particular countdown, because I’d go (even) batty(er) with the extra waiting.
So, as I do, on the first day of winter, I post the list of Winter Stupid, and the countdown clock til Spring, over there on your right.

The dichotomy is killing me.

For those who are wondering, or forgot, or blotted it out of your memory, winter and spring start off with the list of stupid things I hope to do that season. So without further ado, I am proud to present
The Winter Stupid:
– Ski. I’ve already gotten a couple of days in, but apparently the new thing is that the mountains set up a huge ramp, and an airbag in the landing zone. Laugh at gravity and have a safe landing? Where do I sign?
– Ice Skate. This also shows up on the Spring/Summer Stupid list, but why wait?
– Experience Canada in mid-winter. Ok, I already have tickets to see John Hiatt and Lyle Lovett together (acoustic). But sometimes it’s nice to add something to a list that you know you’ll be able to cross off.
– Surf. As stated before, I plan to be out 1 Jan. Hopefully the weather will agree.
– Drinking hot chocolate while watching snow fall. With my arm around my wife, obviously.

Spring is my favorite season, but I’m looking forward to enjoying this Winter.
Anything you’re looking forward to over the next 90 days?

Spring? Is that you?

Today’s Music: Jimmy Buffett – Lage Nom Ai

At last! Despite the local weather trying to convince me otherwise, It. Is. SPRING!!!!
While this past winter wasn’t brutal in my neck of the woods as far as snow, it was awfully grey and pretty damn cold, and I’m ecstatic to put it behind me and move into my favorite season of the year.
Why is it the favorite?
– The beginning of enjoying a cold beer outside on a warm evening
– Not wrestling with a heavy jacket
– Blooming flowers (for those who think I’m insensitive.)
– Rising hemlines (for those who think I’m too sensitive.)

Ok, maybe that hemline is a little too high…

Which brings me to a brand new year, brand new spring, and a slightly different list. Here’s what I’m hoping to do, and if anyone wants to come along, I’d be glad to have your company.
The Musts

– Surfing
My regular beach got slammed by Hurricane Sandy. Recovery is still going on. I’m going to try to get out there to lend a hand, and afterward, hit the waves.
– Kayaking
I will not be intimidated by you this year, Duck!
– Picnicking
In a park, with my girl, my guitar, her hula hoop and our books. A perfect day.
– The July Ice Skating date
It’s NYC. There are year round rinks. It’s a shame to not take advantage.
(Plus, I always get a serious case of the giggles for this one.)
– Evening walks when it’s warm out
Yes, to the homemade ice cream place.
– bike riding through Central Park
It’s a long loop, with just enough incline to make you think “dear god, why am I doing this???”. Worth it anyway.

WHEE!!!!!!
*pantpantpant*

The Maybes

-Jet Skiing
A place opened in Rockaway last year. No idea if they survived the hurricane. but jet skiing (or wave-running) is a thrill I always enjoy.
– Rock Climbing
My girl and I went indoor climbing a bunch of times over the last year. I’d love to introduce her to outdoor climbing up at the gunks.
– Hang Gliding
More fun than a barrel of monkeys! though let’s face it, at some point, they’ll start flinging poo. And that’s never fun. Anyway, go if you get the chance. It’s a fierce adrenaline high, and incredibly relaxing, all at the same time.
– Stand Up Paddleboarding
There’s a guy on the Hudson, downtown. That’s one of those things where a great day out is made even better by the location.

Looks just like me when I’m surfing!

The Would-Be-Nices

– Bungee Jumping
Yep, scares the hell out of me too. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to go again!
-Skydiving
Suck it, Gravity! this one is very dependent on the weather,and it’s very frustrating to have to go again and again just to be turned away because it’s too windy.
– Sailing
Possibly solo. Because not everyone enjoys a fifty degree heel with a rail buried in the water.
Plus, then I get to control the music.

The Pipe Dreams

– Trans Continental Road Trip
Very much on my list of things to do. Probably need to wait until I retire.
Or get let go with a kick-ass severance package…

Some thing on the list won’t get done. I’ll probably get to enjoy some things that didn’t even occur to me.
Do you see anything I left off, and more importantly, what will you be up to?

Oh, there should be sunsets too.

IT. IS. SPRING!!! And time for the Spring/Summer Stupidity!

Today’s Music: Today only, appearing at the bottom of the post.
Day’s Til Spring: 0!!!0!!!0!!!

At last. Spring. I can feel the earth softening, the trees starting to bloom, the hemlines rising.
The most wonderful time of the year is upon us.

Aaaaaaahhhhh…

Which means of course, that it is time for the annual listing of events for those like-minded individuals who really want to go out and play.
So here, more or less, is the (mostly) unexpurgated text of the email that went out the other day. (Apologies for all the non-imbedded links, this was copied right from the emial to keep that raw untamed fee…)
Anyone who wants to join in, let me know. Should be fun…

START EMAIL
Subject: The Spring and Summer Stupid

Well, the seasons have spun around again, and here we are on the verge (once more) of spring.
And if it’s spring, it means it’s time for me to try to drag you all down into the stupid with me.

(Don’t worry, it will be fun. And I’ll try and find bars and restaurants near most of the adventures listed.)

THE REALLY WANT TO DO
Surfing
Going to go with these guys again:
http://www.surflessonsnewyork101.com/

And for those of you that have them they give lessons to kids too. They have all the gear, all you need to do is show up.

Jet Skiing
Off of Coney Island. How can you say no?

Home

I think they might be the only ones in the city who do this. But come on, jet skiing? within city limits?
I really want to do this, though it is kind of pricey…

Kayaking
A bunch of options here
http://www.hudsonvalleyoutfitters.com/
These guys are a bit north of the city, and they do a bunch of fun tours. Some of them even include lunch! (It will even be dry! If the guide closes his storage bin.)
They also do rentals.

http://www.atlanticoutfitters.us/
These guys are in Port Washington. We’ve rented from them before, and it’s a nice day of paddling alongside the sailboats.

http://www.hudsonriverpark.org/explore/kayakingcp.html
These guys are out of chelsea piers. I’ve seen their kayaks in the water, but know nothing about them. Still, it’s possible…

Stand Up Paddleboarding
This was lots of fun for the hour or so last year. Best of all, it can be done on a weekday in the evening at the same place, which is
http://shop.nykayak.com/Stand-Up-Paddle-Board_ep_46-1.html
(They also do kayaking)
these guys were pretty good, and got all of us (5 people) up on the boards with no real problem.
Atlantic Outfitters above also say they do SUP, so that’s a possibility too.

Camping
Never been. Would like to go. I’m open to considering anything. The only requirement (says The Most Wonderful Girl In The Universe) is that there be clean indoor plumbing available.
Doesn’t sound unreasonable…
So, where are we going to go? The Most Wonderful Girl In The Universe and I should probably just start with a weekend, so we can get used to it.

THE WOULD BE NICE TO DO
Rock Climbing
Indoor is nice. I know of 3 indoor spots:
Chelsea Piers (really nice, but not the cheapest)
http://www.chelseapiers0.pth4.com/sc/club/climbing.cfm?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=chelsea%2520piers%2520rock%2520climbing&utm_campaign=Rock+Wall+Brand+-+G

Brooklyn Boulders (Never heard of them, but I’ll give them a shot…)
http://www.brooklynboulders.com/

Island Rock (Plainview, it’s a nice facility)
http://www.islandrock.net/

There’s another near midtown, but I can’t find a link.

I would really like to get outdoors to climb too. Most of my climbing is in New Paltz
I’ve climbed with these guys ( http://www.high-xposure.com/ ) but the original guy has since retired. We can find other guide services, probably through Rock and Snow. http://www.rockandsnow.com/store/

Flying Trapeze
http://www.trapezeschool.com/default.php
This has been on my list for the last few years, and I’d really like to go if the scheduling can be worked out.

AND KEEP IN MIND
Bike riding in central park (the path also goes past the bouldering area!)
Geocaching
Free summer concerts.

Also, hoping to get to Portland to go Bungee Jumping.

So, that’s what I’ve got.
Feel free to make more suggestions, and lets work out what we want to do when.

And may your warm weather months be as stupid and fun as possible!

/END EMAIL

If anyone wants to come along, or has suggestions to add, let me know in the comments.
And for everyone in the northern hemisphere – CONGRATULATIONS!!! WE MADE IT!!!

And now, for today’s music…
SNOOPY DANCE!!!