Today’s Music: Brody Dalle – Don’t Mess With Me
Once more, unto the weekend! Last weekend, I had my Big Brothers/Big Sisters interview, which was an awful lot of questions. Presumably I’ll hear back from them soon. Also spent a great day knocking about with TMWGITU – always fun! Throw in a little live music, and it wasn’t too bad of a week.
Oh, and I got to read blogs! Here’s some of what I saw:
Lance Burson wrote about Changing Music. Dawn posted about facing down Shame, and Linda Vernon gave us the biblical origins of Goat Hotcakes.
All in all, a very satisfying week of reading, from them and all of you.
But last week, we asked you for the most satisfying thing on TV – the next great reality show. And wow, are your realities stranger than fiction! Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are getting their fifteen minutes in italics.)
The Farmwives of Hot Coffee, MS~~Addie
(Watch as they consider moving to the sunny side of Two Eggs, FL)
My Cat Meme Addiction (Nadia)
(While you google them, you can haz cheezburger!)
Housewives of Whoville – Linda Vernon
(On a heartwarming episode, they all adopt Horton.)
Are You My Brother/Sister? Amy R.
(You’re going to put Maury Povich out of a job…)
Gene Pool: Make Your Own Baby Amy R.
(Watch as these artisans hand-create what the rest of us just order online.)
brickhousechick: “Naked & Fried” follow the life of a naked tan man…
(Now I know why that camera van is stalking me…)
Stacy’s Living Room Revelations (Stacy) ha!
(On the Thanksgiving episode, Norm realizes he can carve the turkey from the couch!)
experienced by turning off the TV. sandylikeabeach
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
How I Learned to Play the Harmonica with my Nose
(With very special guest, Stevie “The Shnoz” Wonder.)
Duckface Dynasty
(Tonight, Darlene cleans the bathroom before snapping a selfie in the mirror!)
Life With The Hotspurs
(Hotspur and wife both dress up as Miyavi. But who’s prettier?)
Confessions of the Chick-Fil-A Cow – Curvyroads
(The truth will turn all four of your stomachs.)
Real Red(State)Necks of North Georgia – Curvyroads
(In the episode that changes everything, Dwayne’s “Mom” tattoo is misspelled right before he starts his run for Senate.)
Bloggers Reveal How to Keep Yourself from Growing Onto Your Computer – Benzeknees
(On the season finale, Benze catches a virus from her PC.)
“DYIs: Hipsters On the Loose” KBerrios
(Hipsters go dumpster-diving, then redecorate one lucky person’s house!)
Or, the actual un-dislexic version, “DIY: Hipsters on the Loose.” KBerrios
(Hey, they were misspelling on teh internet be4 it was kewl.)
a show about me… trying to get on this blog… PMAO
(Watch as PMAO’s account is shut down for spam.)
(Again.)
Pork Dynasty: Swamp Pigs
(Bringing home the bacon. One bucket of mud at a time.)
Your question implies there was a 1st “great” reality show. Elyse 54.5
(WE HAVE ANOTHER WINNER!!!)
Real Bloggers At Home (SilkPurseProductions)
(Wait – bloggers are real people???)
Zoe:How the rest of the world survives Hawaiian Shirts
(Spoiler Alert: There’s a lot of rum involved.)
The Life and Times of Guap. (thematticuskingdom)
(That’s better suited for a PBS slot in the early am hours.)
(When everyone is asleep.)
My Child Thinks They are a Vampire. (thematticuskingdom)
(Wow, that…sucks.)
Following a $20.00 bill as it changes hands and opens doors.
(Isn’t that the entire schedule of Fox Business News?)
Mine was the $20.00 reality show – Susie Lindau Duh!
(And here I was expecting the $1,000,000 idea.)
Stop! Or my mom will shoot. (thematticuskingdom)
(Settle down there, Palin jr.)
Turning Brony: A trip deep inside the bowels of Bronyism. *NancyTex
(Those colorful, colorful bowels.)
The Secret Lives of GIF Makers
(Feel the drama – one flashing frame at a time!)
Real Villains of Gotham City – Thing Two aliceatwonderland
(Doesn’t our gov’t get enough media coverage already?)
IBS Unleashed – Rutabaga
(On tonights episode, Bill…toots…his own horn!)
Buckaroo’d! A show about zoophiliacs ditched at the alter by their horses – Joe Hoover
(I’d like to think that show has a small audience. But it’s probably huge…)
I Peed My Pants While Watching Sex Sent Me To The ER – Twindaddy
(Sponsored by Depends Undergarments.)
Twilight Sent Me to the ER- “Thing One” aliceatwonderland
(Spinoff of “50 Shades sent me to the Proctologist”.)
Congratulations to sandylikeabeach and Elyse 54.5 for this weeks winning answers! (Catch the behind the scenes action of their acceptance on “Accepting Inane Awards“, this week on TLC!). And from the offered choices, the most popular was I Wore The Foam Burger Suit at McDonalds. So congratulations to everyone self confident enough to admit they did that.
This week, spring is very much in the air, including the birds! And the bees! So obviously, it’s time for a sex-related poll. And you don’t even have to worry about catching a disease from this one! (Carefeul, Benze.)
Answer often, but answer soon, because this one closes at 2359 EDT on Tuesday, 15 April. Try and keep yourself to three Other answers if you do write-ins, and if you do leave an Other, add a way to recognize you at the end, and I’ll link back to you next week.
And since the poll wasn’t really about sex, enjoy this video that isn’t quite about sex either.
Have a great week everyone!
OMG, OMG I’m the first one to comment. I don’t have to scroll all the way down half of North America to add my two cents worths. Ok better read your post now….
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Woohoo!!!
Well done!
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LOL *chuckles*
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hilarious!
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Why thank you!
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questions though …
1. why big brother?
2. does your boss know what you REALY get up to
3. how cold are you ‘cos i’m bloody hot and ready to swap continents?
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1 – Big Brother was a badd typo on my part – it’s Big Brothers/Big Sisters, a volunteer organization for helping kids that I applied to.
If you knew that already, it’s because I thought it was something useful I could do with my time.
2 – HELL NO!!!! But he quit, next thursday is his last day, and I don’t think the new overlords that bought our company have any idea at all what’s going on.
3 – Warm has finally landed! But if you come to NYC, I could probably put you up for a few days.
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he he, good luck with the next over lords. as well as with becoming a big brother. hope you get to surf soon, me too actually – have the flu whilst it’s 40 degrees outside (very hot in fahrenheit too!). dammit!
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I was just thinking about my poor board, still leaning against the stereo in its board sock.
Not this weekend, but hopefully the next…
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keep us posted!
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I do hope you hear from the BB people soon. That would be a very cool thing. Have an awesome weekend, Guap.
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Thanks Eva. I think two of my references have already responded. I’ll check on the third.
It’s odd, because they said I should hear something this week…
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Hey thanks Guapo, for the great compliment 🙂 …made my morning (full of a one yr old tantrums so far) all the better.
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You’re welcome. I hope people check out the post.
Tell the one year old I said you should get a few minutes to rest on your laurels. 😉
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You’ll be a great Big Brother!! I hope you hear back soon. Hope you and TMWGITU have a great weekend. Spring is definitely in the air….finally!!
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Glad to hear Spring finally pulled into your town!
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Those are some twisted reality tv shows. 😉 Happy Friday!
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I’m both relieved and surprised that none of them are actually on TV.
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That last video was a hoot. Congrats to Sandy and Elyse! … good luck with the BB process! How was Thursday’s live music?
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Johnny Clegg was good last night, but he’s definitely getting older.
Seems like he’s starting to lose a step. he’s been at it for a pretty long time.
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Bottom line is cheers to a good evening!
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Amen! Red Baraat downtown tonight with a friend.
Should be a good show.
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Cheers again to two nights in a row!
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So to watch these shows, do I need to subscribe to cable? Because I might not….well, I definitely won’t 🙂
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I’m betting you can find variations of these on the internet.
But good lord, don’t google for them unless you’re prepared for what you might find!!!
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Quite frankly, reality TV scares me and I refuse to watch any of them (except FaceOff on Hulu) – and I am even more SCARED to query this on the intergooglenets
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My girl is a junkie for the Home reality shows, and a bunch of food network stuff.
Fortunately,they aren’t as bent as the other reality shows.
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What I hate is that they pit people against each other and everyone wants to see that angst – I find it distasteful that we are so excited about backstabbing and watching people’s distress.
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Yeah. we notice and comment to each other when contestants are nice.
Many people complain about that, and yet, the shows are still aired constantly…
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People love other people’s pain.
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Sadly, people are idiots.
One of the things I’ll be upset about when the apocalypse comes is me being too busy disintegrating to enjoy watching everyone else get theirs…(But I’m not bitter.) 😉
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When the apocalypse comes, you’ll be fixing everyone’s computers.
Sadly people love tragedy. And one of the things I don’t want to do is become involved with tragedy (I’m not saying I’m not like people – I’m just avoiding watching the programming that brings out that uglier human aspect that I probably have).
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Sometimes there are good stories that come out of those things, that show the best of humanity.
But I guess that doesn’t make good reality tv.
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I think people forget that game shows were the first reality (or what they call ‘unscripted’ for want of a better term) programs – and Antiques Roadshow too!
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Antiques Roadshow is populated by psychopaths.
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Hee hee – viewers or participants or appraisers?
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YES!
*stashes Civil War era saber*
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ha ha – that was the big scandal years ago 🙂
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I’m not a fan of reality shows, though I’d certainly watch you!
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No way I’d go on a reality show!
Unless it was a “we’re just going to give him millions of dollars, film his reaction, then leave him alone” show.
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Now that’s my kinda show! I’d be right there with you!
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I’m sure you would be really great on Big Brother, but I’ve never watched it so what do I know? Hilarious video. 😆 Happy weekend to you.
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Ha! That’s a typo – I’ve since edited the post.
I applied as a volunteer for Big Brothers/Big Sisters, which pairs adults with children who could use a mentor/stable adult.
No way I’d go on big Brother. I’d miss my wife too much.
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These are all so good, I can’t pick a favorite, though the tanned naked man sounds intriguing. Then again, I think you can already see that on Dancing with the Stars. At least faux-tan anyway…
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There should be a reality show on how George Hamilton stays so tan…
This week was quite the creative crop of answers.
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Good luck with Big Brother – Sandy was a worthy joint winner!
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I think Sandy and Elyse deserved to win for saying what we were all probably thinking.
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You may remember that in that short sci-fi/horror story I posted a while back, that the cursed guy woke up inside the head of a female nurse… and stuff happened… that was weird and funny… and… where was I going with this?
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Wait – that was fiction?
I thought that was one of your memoir posts from “the lost years”?
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uh… no… but I was proud of that scene… when it turns out the nurse was gay, and her girlfriend shows up… I may have written the only lesbian love scene where there was a guy along for the ride offering commentary…
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I would have guessed that the hipster show was a real thing.
Any little brother would be blessed to have you as a Big. Sending my best vibes for good things.
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Thanks Hippie!
I don’t think the hipsters would do reality tv.
But they might draw it up as a reality graphic novel…
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Waitaminute…what Big Brother interview? Did I miss a post? What’s going on?
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Nono – my interview for Big Brothers/Big Sisters.
I’ve since corrected the post, since a lot of people thought of the tv show.
Leave it to me to mention that on reality tv poll week…
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Now I remember the post. My bad.
But you’d be great on Big Brother as well as a Big Brother.
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I’d be the one that poisoned the toothbrushes of the rest of the idiots.
And got away with it.
hehehe
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What were you googling when you found this video? Was there liquid near your nipple clamps, and did you wipe your hands off before touching your trackpad? And no, by “trackpad” I’m not referring to any odd body parts, I’m really talking about your actual trackpad.
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p.s. not only because you love my ps’es but man, Saturday Night Live needs to take lessons from those guys!
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Has SNL been funny at all in the last twenty years?
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stumped.
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I honestly have no idea what I was looking for.
*deletes browser history*
“Actual trackpad”. Sure that’s what you meant. Sure…
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Nothing is ever really deleted *bigbrotheralwayswatches*
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Yeah. That scares me a bit.
Fortunately, I’m an anonymous kind of guy, so no one really has any reason to do a deep background on me.
As far as I know…
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As far as you know… what scares me most is how google likes to add to my search queries playing the guessing game. No Google I was not going to ask “why does my armpit smell like weed” thankyouverymuch!
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So…you already know what that smell is from? 😀
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Actually I was randomly coming up with an odd question for you, then stopped and tested it out on google. See? This is how much I care for you and the extra mile I am willing to go just to make your day and bother you as you work. 🙂
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My boss says if you don’t start pushing me to update a server, he’s going to report your blog to HR.
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Can he do that? Tell him I’m scared. Just mist some Pine Sol in the room telling him you had to clean up somebody’s mess…
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He sits next to me and sees me laughing at your comments.
HE’S ON TO US!!!
OPEN A SPREADSHEET! LEVERAGE THE SYNERGY!
ROI THE BULLET POINTS!!!!
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uhm uhm *frantically searching for geek terms* gigabytes and uhm uhm *feels silly and foolish* add to the algorythms of *flashbacks from previous keynote speaking sessions* and megaherts of blah blah blah
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FANTASTIC!
The CTO would like to have you at the next lunch seminar.
(Can they pay you in sandwiches and 3 ply toiletpaper?)
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GHA! 1-ply! Why is it so hard to find??? Pay me in beer. Before the conference. I do better with a beer buzz, it ties the room together.
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Oh that’s exciting that you had your big brother interview!!
I laughed out loud so many times reading the reality show poll answers! And some of them would make darn good reality shows like: My child things they’re a Vampire — I would watch that. Stacy’s Living Room Revelations! and Addie’s Farmwives of Hot coffee! LOL!! What a fun poll that was!
And Gregory thanks you for the mention! (He’s bringing by a little gift later — hope you have plenty of goat syrup on hand! 😀
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I would like to know what other secrets from Stacy’s living room are uncovered.
(I bet she’s got a million!)
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Ah, into each Friday a little foolishness must fall. Thank goodness for that. And for sharing the good stuff that you read. I don’t know how you find time to do it, but glad you do. Same goes for the Big Brothers stint. You’ll get the okay soon, I know it!
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It’s hard to restrain the foolish spillage in real life to just a little for the Friday post, but such is my burden to bear.. 😉
There’s a ton of stuff I could link at the top, but I don;t want it to be overwhelming. It’s hard to narrow it down. For instance, your Loch Ness Manster was as entertaining as anything else I’ve read online.
But if there were 50 links, I don’t think anyone would click any of them.
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It was, “Goodnight, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.” ~ Jimmy Durante. Loved him with his big shnozz! Have a great weekend. Hope you become a Big Brother. Great.
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Yep, that’s the reference!
I like using famous lines and adding Foolishness more than the old titling scheme I used for these.
Durante was one of a kind. Thanks!
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Oh my gosh, Guap. You are beyond hilarious! The first answer to this week’s poll had me rolling!!! “Play with myself”. You are going to make one hell of a “Big” Brother!! 🙂 The reality shows were awesome too. 🙂
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I can’t recall a single conversation I’ve ever had (with the guys when I was drunk and younger) that didn’t include that as an answer.
And since this whole series has always been immature with a touch of classlessness, what other answer could I possibly use!
(Glad you enjoyed it!)
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Haha nice post! 😀 Those reality show names rock! People have such a great imagination!!!
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Thanks! I’m lucky to have fallen in with a bunch of fun, like-minded crazies in the blogosphere.
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You misspelled colourful. Embrace the U buddy. The U is your friend.
In other news, I’m still sitting at LGA due to a cancelled flight. This airport is nothing if not consistent.
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Holy cats! If they cancel yor flight, yo’re welcome to meet my friend and I downtown for Red Baraat tonight.
Us are eviul.
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Apparently I’m boarding in 11 minutes. Fingers crossed.
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Us rock.
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Yes, we do.
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I’ve always known Elyse and I think alike!
To echo many other commentors – you’ll be a great Big Brother. It is a wonderful organization.
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Thanks Sandy. I imagine if I don’t hear from them, I’ll get to play “exactly what sordidness from my past turned them off”.
Always a fun game!
And now that you mention it, I’ve never seen you and Elyse in the same room.
Hmm….
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haha
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hehe
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Soo crazy funneh! I’ve come to look forward to these Friday posts!
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Thanks Zoe. If they get too popular, I’m going to need more time to write them!
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Maybe they will go viral!
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I shudder to think what would happen if Reddit turned up here.
I’m also not sure what the answer limit is from polldaddy. I’m using a free account.
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lol well then you would have to recruit help!
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Are you asking to do guest snark on one of these?
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What’s guest snark?
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I guess it would be writing the responses in italics.
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I love smartassness!
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If you like, and think you can come up with the 20 – 30 responses for each poll, we might be able to work something out for you to guest-answer one of these.
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I’d be willing to give it a humble try,oh great leader..
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OhMyGodICan’tBelieveI’mSharingTheSpotlightWithSandyLikeABeach! Ooh ooh ooh! Only because, of course, we are both wise and beautiful women who know that reality TV is, ummmmmmm, un-fucking-real.
Guap, I said it before, and I’ll say it again, you will be a wonderful Big Brother. Just keep your clothes on.
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As soon as I saw your write-in, I knew it was the winner. Sandy’s was right up there too.
I’m looking forward to hearing back from them, one way or the other.
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And from the offered choices, the most popular was I Wore The Foam Burger Suit at McDonalds.
Nah. I wore a bird suit for Red Robin.
So congratulations to everyone self confident enough to admit they did that.
Why shouldn’t I be? Little known secret: Michael Synder and his brothers are from my wife’s hometown of Yakima, also the home of Squirt soda. (Yes, I know Squirt is headquarted in Dallas, TX– it started in Yakima, WA.)
It is a matter of local pride in an area the rest of the nation hasn’t got a f’ing clue about unless I talk about Hanford and the Nuclear Age (Hanford is not far from MY hometown and current place of residence).
It was an AWESOME job and I guess I should blog about that and my time as Santa sometime.
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No shame at all.
I was King Kong in the Empire State Building for two weeks one summer.
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Sweet! I’d like to know more about that story some time.
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I contributed other and said this: Do a pee, leave the seat up and think HARD about WHY I do something so annoying!
LOL I cannot see it there (so don’t know if it worked) – but it ias been something that has driven me NUTS since forever!
Miss Lou
xx
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I got it, and it will be linked next week.
A lot of people have the same stress over it as you do.
Not me, But I’m a guy. 😉
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lol *snorks*
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I would take copyright on many of those ideas if I were the people who came up with it… And then get really, really rich because the majority of people likes to watch all the drama on tv instead of just looking around.
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Ha! Yes, but just looking around denies us the editing to make it seem like everything was really blown out of proportion.
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Very funny El 🙂 Have a great weekend 🙂
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Thanks so much, Hugger, and you too!
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I still wouldn’t buy a tv. That video was hilarious. Happy weekend!
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Happy weekend, Jaded.
I envy you not being able to see some of the stuff on the air.
Like CNN.
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Laughed at the Chic-fil-a answer, too funny! I wonder if Banksy and the Chic-fil-a cow are one and the same.
I have a feeling next week’s answers are going to be epic. Oh boy oh boy oh boy! (She said when she woke up a he.)
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Ha! Reading through the answers, this might be the poll that makes my head explode.
Enjoy this one…
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Congratulations on your BB/BS application. I hope you will keep us updated as the process continues. Go Guap! xo
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Thanks Stacy. I’m hoping they come back soon, now that the paperwork is in.
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Shucks, I missed that last poll, Loved all the answers, I’m telling you I could have won that one! (At least I think I could have 😐 )
Hope you had a great weekend 🙂
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No one knows the arcane process through which winners are selected.
Some say it’s done via chicken bingo…
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Dang, people are funny round these parts. You make good laughter, Guapo.
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I got lucky to fall in with a crowd that has a great sense of humor!
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Guapo, you are just too damn funny.
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Thanks so much whitelady!
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Ok, Guap, your Dwayne comment was just hilarious, as was the rest of the post!
You are one funny dude…
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I think my wife gave me the setup for that one.
I can often come up with something amusing, but every so often she nails it with a great answer.
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Heehee, you go, Mrs. Guap! 😉
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Best of luck with Big Brothers/Big Sisters interview and hope you hear back from them soon 😀
I loved the responses from last week (very funny indeed!) you have a lot of very creative and clever followers 😀
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Thanks, I’m hoping I get something from them soon.
Thanks! These polls are fun (after they’re published and I stop over-analyzing the answers.)
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Sheeeeeet I hit submit without identifying myself.
Um, mine includes the O word and “multiple.”
This would be a purely scientific endeavor.
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Naughty but nice…
I will run through and
take a look next time
I am here 🙂
Andro xx
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This is definitely a record for lateness Guap
but I have already added some thoughts on the
gender change nightmare 🙂 lol
Hey have a great week now 🙂
Andro
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But I see you managed to get some good ones in!
Hope your week is warm and dry!
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Turning the TV off is not winning! That’s cheating. And we all know that cheaters never prosper, except for when they have lots of money already, which you can often get by cheating… Hmm… Okay, so, I guess I need to know if turning the TV would make me more money before I can endorse that as the winning answer…
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Well, you can work longer hours if you give up tv.
But I don’t know that that’s necessarily “wining”…
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That doesn’t sound like winning.
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Okay, I’m stopping right now to comment! I’ve been over here like 10 times, and keep leaving to read other’s posts…and then I’m all, where the eff was I? OH YEAH, at Guap’s. 🙂
Great weekly wrap up! You do such a good job! Oh, and who wouldn’t play with themselves first if they woke up the opposite gender??? Shit, I would only leave the room to pee on a tree. #loftygoals
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Ha! A real man would just pee out the window.
No comment.
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Of course I’m too late for the poll this week! Especially after you singled me out! If I woke up the opposite sex I think I would kill myself because I wouldn’t have two thoughts in my head at the same time. I could not stand being dragged around by my penis all day & night. 🙂
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But penises make such good decisions! 😉
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