Today’s Music: Nina Simone – I Put A Spell On You
As promised (threatened?) here is the Harry Potter Limerick Omnibus! (Sounds so much more dignified than it really is…)
None of the limericks have been edited, except for the titles to make them more consistent.
Book One: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
A young boy with a scar on his head
His parents, both sadly were dead
When he reached age eleven,
thought he’d been admitted to heaven
But had to fight the “2 headed” teacher instead.
Book Two: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Everyone said that it was a secret
But Harry’s interest was piqued
Guilderoy was no help –
At his own shadow he yelped.
But with a phoenix, the basilisk was beated.
Book Three: Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban
The dog in the bushes was mysterious.
Harry though that he might be delirious
There were a wolf and a mouse
In a very haunted house
but the hero, in the end, was Sirius
Book Four: Harry Potter and The Goblet Of Fire
For Harry, the competition was grim
When it got down to Cedric and him.
They went from the maze
to a field full of graves
Soon-to-be-sparkly Diggory died on a whim…
Book Five: Harry Potter and The Order Of The Phoenix
The fighting was close and intense
Splinters and dust clouds so dense
Sirius turned quite pale
As he went through the veil.
Wait a minute – Love is Harry’s defense?!?
Book Six: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
Sirius had gone through the veil.
In Dark Arts, Snape threatened Harry with “Fail”
But Harry did more
Hangin’ with Dumbledore.
If only he’d built the balcony a rail
Find the Horcruxii was what Harry must do.
Set off with friends to defeat You Know Who…
But just like the flick –
though it might make you sick –
this limerick will be split into two.
Poor Dobby, he laid down his life.
And Ron pissed off his soon-to-be wife
but Harry stood tall,
one (ring) Wand to rule them all
The epilogue: Harry, with happiness, was rife.