Tag Archives: Unicorn pissing rainbow

Edward Hotspur and the Birthday Wishes


Today’s Music: The Gazette – Red
Note on Today’s Music: Don’t watch if you don’t like gender ambiguity.
But it’s a great song!

Edward Hotspur has been splashed in these pages before. But not this time, since we know how he hates unoriginal.

Let the rainbow urine wash the streets in celebration!

Let the rainbow urine wash the streets in celebration!

His poetry (both humorous and serious) are well known around the sphere.
Read one of his delightful true stories, and you’ll be wondering what else you were taught that was so wrong. Just stay away from the one about mayonnaise. Seriously, it’s a little disturbing.

I could go on, linking to posts about his love of Gazette, or his unabridged lists of search terms, and you’d still have no idea what the hell I was on about.
(Although you’d get to read some pretty good stuff! Including one of the best stories I’ve read. Period.)

Bent. But joyful.

Bent. But joyful.

So the reason for all this (if you didn’t read the title) is that today is Edward Hotspurs birthday!
I’ve known him for all of my blogging career. I’ve seen him stand up for what he believes, I’ve seen him stand up for other bloggers, and I’ve seen him be an all around stand up guy.

In one of my rare, sane posts, I’d like to wish him the happiest birthday ever! Until the next one of course.
And we’d like you to come along with us on his birthday adventure.
Happy birthday, Hotspur!
Come journey into the weird, sublime, unfettered journey into all things Hotspur.
Where?
You choose!
Either way, It’ll be a lot of fun!
Oh, and it only gets weirder from here.
Does Hotspur get earthy and romantic? Or is he headed to outer space?

Yes, we already know what Hotspur would choose.

Yes, we already know what Hotspur would choose.

See what other choices await for Edward Hotspur and the…!
Romance…!
Space…!
P.I…!
Poem…!
???…!
Sentence…!
Puns…!
Autobiography…!
Flowers…!
Squee…!
Relationships…!
Bacon…!
Unicorns…!

And Bonus Hotspur birthday wishes from
Polysallabic Profundities!
Stuph Blog!

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Hot And Spurious


Today’s Music: Rupert Holmes – Escape
Note on Today’s Music: Because I know he hates this song. hehehe.

(if you’re wondering what’s going on, check here.)
Many of you follow the refreshingly bizarre Edward Hotspur. So you already know he has a thing for Unicorns pissing rainbows. Here’s why. Sorry Hotspur, had to borrow your style for this one.

He was sitting around a campfire, enjoying his gassy beans- no wait, he was enjoying beans and then the gas that followed. He’d taken off his riding boots to relax, setting them to warm next to the fire. A unicorn burst into his campsite setting off mayhem among his compatriots.
They ran around in confusion, dodging the uriney torrent of warm rainbow issuing from the unicorn’s nethers. Only Edward kept his head about him. He reached for a boot, still with its spur on.
Billy Joe Bob Mellissa Jr yelled “You can’t drive off a unicorn with spurs!”
“You can when they’re red hot!” shouted back Edward. He took the boot from the fire, and jammed the red hot spur into an engorged opalescent unicorn testicle.
The unicorn turned bright red, squeaked, and darted off into the woods to find some bactine.
And that’s why he’s known as Edward Hotspur.
True story.

Now let’s take a musical break, from someone I was recently introduced to by Mr. Hotspur.
This is Miyavi. He is the hottest chick I’ve seen in a while. (Yes, it’s a guy.)

Scenes From The End Of The Post
I’m writing this at my desk as the sun streams through the windows. You’d think it would be wetter if it was streaming. Unless you’re streaming porn. That could be wet. Unless it’s home improvement porn. Lots of sandpaper. Probably not so wet.
Hold on, boss wants me to do something. Ok, I did something. I told him I wasn’t going to do it. That’s something, right? Might be the last something I do here, but still.
So where was I? Oh, at my desk. So it’s where I am. Can you have been somewhere and say you were there if you’re still there without having been gone anywhere?
Wait – My brain hurts.. I have to stop channelling Edward Hotspur, today’s flashmob victim honoree before my head explodes.

You should check him out. It’s like no other blog you’ve seen.
Rock on Hotspur, and keep on blogging!

Oh, and buy His Book

In closing, I would just like to say…
Salma Hayek.