Is that a Foolishness in your pocket or- oh, never mind, I see it. It’s a Foolishness.

Today’s Music: Squeeze – Goodbye Girl
Days Til Spring: 55


Janus is displeased with the commuters.

SNOWPOCALYPSE!!!! (Sorry, we’re still in negotiations with Cato. Apparently he won’t appear until we promise to spell his name correctly or something.) Anyway, what can you do when the fluff is flying and you’re out of whipped cream for your hot chocolate (true story!)? Why, read blogs of course!
Here are some great posts I saw this week. Jazzy Beat Chick posted a beautiful ode to her father.The Waiting had a hilarious grade school run-in with beer (though she handled it completely differently than I would have). And Kina Diaz wrote a fantastic post about seeing herself from a completely different perspective

And Spreading Crazy Smiles nominated me for a Shout Out Award! (Possibly because of my catcalling during Chris Christie’s inauguration…) Anyway, I hope you check out her site. I’ve spent some time there, and am already enjoying the hell out of myself.

Thanks to them, and everyone else for giving me great stuff to read this week!

But the question this week is actually the question from last week, or last week’s poll, which asked what does the cow say?. And wow, were your cows talkative! Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are grain fed in italics.)

“what does the fox say? ” what? its curious..oh did you say COW? damn LizzieC
(Cow hopes curiosity doesn’t do to him what it did to the cat.)
It’s not what it says, it’s what it wears! (Stacy)
(Cow has a leather fetish.)
baa when he’s trying to pass for a sheep.
(Cow looks like a young William Shatner with that perm.)
you just squeezed my tit..sexual harassment! (SnB)
(Whew! I was afraid I was milking the boy cow!))
What does the fox say?
(The fox says Ylvis should be slapped vigorously about the jowls.)
(The blogger says WHY DID YOU MAKE ME LISTEN TO THIS???)

Chocolate Fondue. ~Maddie Cochere
(The cow wishes he had something to dip besides grass.)
Something really droll in a British accent -The Waiting
(Cow says we are very a-moo-sed.)
That farmer has a fetish for stools, and grabbing my teets… Andro
(Better then the farmer grabbing the cows…stool…)
Stop pulling my tits you great oaf :( Andro
(Cow prefers drinks and whispered sweet nothings first. Perhaps some lemongrass…)
To milk is human; to grill bovine. – Hotspur
(I really don’t want to know what Cow is cooking over there.)
go ahead, audition for jersey shore. I dairy ya! polysyllabicprofundities
(GTL, BABY! (Grass, thatch, lawn.))
Your hands are cold. Red.
(The better to stiffen the udders!)
You’re not touching me with those cold hands! Benzeknees
(It’ll hurt you more than it hurts Cow.)
(He kicks.)

“For ‘Moo’ Press 2. For ‘Moo Moo’ Press 3. For ‘woof’ Press 4″ – calahan
“Sanjay–I am your father!”
(Darth Holstein? Is that you?)
Isosceles triangle or, failing that, moo. Linda Vernon
(Cow studies hyperbolic arcs because moons are difficult to jump.)
take the batteries out of this damn thing before your mother loses her mind.Maggie O.C.
(Cows’s aunt will be giving calf a drum set this year.)
Jack! Jack! I’m safer than a beanstalk! Elyse 54.5
(Jack should have just gone to Grandma’s house…)
I told you not to bother me when I’m jumping over the Moon! Elyse 54.5
(But Cow!!! That’s my laundry bag, not a parachute!!!)
My poop is full of nutrients. In 62 days, you can put some in your garden.
(Cow says his doesn’t stink.)
brickhousechick says: “Why buy me when you get my udders for free!”
I bet I taste freaking fantastic. thematticuskingdom
(Cow is known for his good…taste.)
ting tang walla walla bing bang. thematticuskingdom
(Cow says he loves you. And chipmunks.)
The cow says you keyed my car. Is that true? Ross Murray
(Cow is lashing out because he’s still jealous I stole his girlfriend in high school.)
Would you like a fresh pie? (Frank)
(Cow definitely belongs on the menu instead of serving it.)
Get your hand off my nipples! Twindaddy
(Cow appreciates warm hands.)
Oi – I’m good with horseradish sour cream. Rutabaga
(Cow just wants to bathe in a Calgon demiglace before she’s taken away. To the dinner table.)
how now but only if it’s not brown.
(Is there a Brown Chicken to go with that Brown Cow?)
(Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?)

Lets all go to the mooovies. Yeah that’s all I got. Kayjai
(And enjoy our popcow! Yeah, right there with ya…)
“Moo. Milk my teats. Harder…harder..YES! Moo.” Not A Punk Rocker
(Umm…I’m not sure that’s milk coming out…)

Congratulations to brickhousechick for this weeks winning answer! And from the offered choices, the most popular was I’m the subject of a poll??? That’s udderly ridiculous! So it…behooves me to congratulate all you merry punsters!

My daily desk companions

Henry and Flo
My daily desk companions

Sadly, I spend a lot of time at my desk. And sometimes, I get frustrated with my coworkers or need to get their attention, so I flick a rubber band to catch their eye.
But that got me thinking…what else could I throw at them? Well, that’s this weeks poll. Answer as often as you like, and other answers up to three times. You even have extra time this week, as I will be out in the real world, and offline next weekend. So get your answers in by Monday, 3 Feb, at 2359 EST. Because that’s when this one closes. Oh, and if you leave an “other” answer, leave an ID if you like, or a mention of it in the comments, and I’ll link back to you next week.

And in parting, enjoy this.
I really don’t drink this much anymore. And I probably wasn’t near as funny when I did…

Have a fantastic weekend, y’all!
(The Foolishness will return in two weeks.)

176 responses to “Is that a Foolishness in your pocket or- oh, never mind, I see it. It’s a Foolishness.

  1. Heck of a winter we’re having, eh?

  2. Cannot through anything over to my coworker, since my throwing and catching skills are very poor.

  3. What the hell was I drinking when I answered last week’s poll? White russians?

    There is a difference between what I can throw and what I want to throw most days at my co-worker.

  4. Great take on drinking games. BTW … here’s a song that came to my mind earlier this week.

  5. El Guapo,
    You honor me. Thank you. Enjoy your IRL break!


  6. Spring is coming! Yay.

  7. See, well that answers my question… bad weather = people catching up on blogs ;)
    ps. London still seems to be behind with winter.

  8. Cows are best when they just STFU and jump on the grill…

  9. The first thing I thought of when I saw Goodbye Girl was NOT the Squeeze chestnut but, rather, the theme song from the 1977 Neil Simon movie of the same name sung by dreary mope-meister David Gates from Bread. Why, I ask? What brought that on? WHY!?

    Re: Cato vs. Kato. As I’m sure you’ve already noted, I never let a little thing like correct spelling stop me. You should let it get in your way, either.

    • I saw the Goodbye Girl with Richard Dreyfus again the other night. That movie gets better every time I see it.

      You’d think Kato would take any boost he could get.
      Maybe it’s his agent holding out for more…

  10. Happy Friday, Guap! And hope you got over the “Lets all go to the movies” playing over and over and over…like a bad nightmare only worse! You. Are. Welcome.

  11. That video is beer-larious…my type of lad :)

  12. I had so much fun reading through the responses and your responses to the responses. Epic foolishness this week!

  13. You’re making me miss being in the workforce with all this talk of throwing things at coworkers. I just can’t get that level of entertainment as a stay-home mom!

  14. Thanks for the shoutout, Guap! Still waiting for your drinking story. (See what I did there? “Waiting”? Sorry, ignore me, it’s early.)

  15. Mooooooochas Gracias, Guapo! I am a winner???? I knew waiting ’till my husband “bought me” prior to me giving him some of my milk – would pay off someday! My mama was right! :)

    • Each time I read through the write-ins, I kept laughing at the visual image I got.
      And you’re always a winner. Hopefully, being named here doesn’t take away from that! ;)

  16. Two weeks?? Hope you are getting out of the snow!!

    • I’ll have a couple of other posts (probably). But leading in to Friday, I’m going to be a bit jammed up, and these are more fun when I don’t have to rush.

  17. sunshinebright

    Enjoying all the comments and answers and replies. BTW, Jethro Tull isn’t exactly “my cup of tea,” but how’s about some Mangione?

  18. Off topic. Waaaaaay off topic.

    There’s an op-ed piece in today’s The New York Times criticizing Dieudonné M’Bala M’Bala’s views on the Holocaust. What shocked me–what made me grip my armrests–was the title in the print version:

    A French Clown’s Hateful Gesture

    Sacré bleu!

  19. I tried to think of a good response for someone who doesn’t have any coworkers. Haha. Happy Friday Guap! I loved your comment on my blog today! Made me giggle!

  20. Oh, stay warm Guapo. Spring will be here before we know it although I’d swear it’s already spring out here. Poor me. So, do you and Exile talk in real life now? That whole thing just fascinates me. Blog post! Blog post!

  21. Enjoy your time away!

  22. There are icicles hanging from the eves of my home in San Antonio this morning, Guapo, and that’s just wrong in every sense of the word ‘wrong’! I can only imagine what it’s like for you guys up north. Thanks for warming my morning up with Jim Jefferies! Have you watched the entire show? Hilarious!!
    Have a great weekend :)

  23. I did not make the cut again… I am going back to typing the answers in the little poll box…

  24. I’m too hungover to focus on being clever. That video nailed it. That’s the game I played last night. *dies*

    • Funny, that’s exactly how I feel when I write these!
      (Except I’m not hungover, and I feel that way all the time.) ;)

      Beer pong? I used to just toss the ball over my shoulder and enjoy the beer.

  25. dammit… I don’t think it fit, so I am typing it here too:
    I like to throw myself at my coworkers… wait… I don’t have coworkers… can I sue myself for sexual harassment?

  26. Don’t worry about Kato/Cato, Guap. From what I recall of him, he wasn’t bright enough to recall which was correct, either. Whatevs.

    Have a great weekend wherever you are!

  27. Have a great weekend off! Hope you are doing something really exciting!

  28. Okay, you’re winter is just getting silly now. And we’re officially in a drought in CA. I think a drought is more convenient, though, at least for the time being. Try to have some fun in the real world, Guap. I hear things behave by the laws of physics — what a snooze — but you’ll liven things up! You always do!

  29. Aw man, sorry I missed the cow poll. I must have been busy with Spot or with my crazy cow herd.

    And THIS is what my cows say:

    (Wasn’t sure how to add a photo. My cows have potty mouths, so you are welcome to edit if needed.)

    Have a great week!
    [Ed. Note - Ha! Never! And here's the pic]

  30. Holy crapola, there are links everywhere. This is not good for my ADHD OCD WTF. Brain frying.

    I about died laughing on the cow poster.

    • I’m thinking about using the cow pic as my work wallpaper.

      Everyone brave enough to be associated with their write in answers gets linked back. That used to take hours until my wife suggested I just put them in a doc.
      Thank god she’s smarter than me.

  31. What? I didn’t win? Rude! The cow commenting on his own tastiness was pure gold!! Gold I tell you!! :-P

  32. It is NOT suppose to be this cold down here.

  33. This is cold. Blizzards are a way of life – now we’re just hoping they happen during the week instead of ON MY TIME.

  34. I throw non sequiturs like there is no tomorrow. Usually on a friday after I’ve gotten up and had my cereal. What were we talking about again?

  35. We’re officially snowed in up here. It’s awesome. I get to stay inside. Forever.

  36. I love winters but not as cold as this!! OMG!!! The cars are almost covered by snow! That’s scary! I want Summer back!

  37. Buzz(words), you got me smiling, as usual. Was compelled to hum Goodbye Girl while reading your post. Now I’m listening to ‘The Singles 45 and Under.’ Music soothes the wild Blogger ‘ya know.
    Great links to check out, a pink flamingo (have a large economy sized version in storage; a must-have for any erudite home decorator),reminders of why I’m back in Cali (brrrr) and a funny. You got it all babe.
    As for office exercise? I used to keep a rubber gun, which fired rubber suction cup tipped foam darts, in my desk. At appropriate, probably inappropriate, times it would be used as a wake-up call to upper management. Used to sell these babies by the case in my old retail store. May have one left for YOU.

    Nothing says ‘Hey I need more staff and a fucking raise’ like peppering the glass walls of a VP’s office with a few of these babies.
    Have no idea why I no longer work for Warner Brothers. Perhaps they were jealous of the move up from rubber bands. Farging Bastages.

    Don’t poke my head up often these days… but the sand under your feet is always a wondrous and silly place to do so, Muah!

  38. My Muted Voice

    I still can’t get over the winter the US is having while I’m over here in Germany and barely need a coat?! I like these kinds of posts…..looking forward to Fridays. :-)

  39. That top pic is HARSH looking! Stay warm friend! (it’s about 12 degrees here)
    The poll was super funny! Still laughing. Have a great weekend!

  40. Snowfree Belgium at the moment. I assume we’ll get our part in March.
    By the way, though possibly inappropriate, I really laughed at the title of this psot :).

  41. You’re so welcome to all that snow. My son got a puncture in the middle of a snow storm. Not a great way to end his working day. Henry and Flo look quite harmless, but I would find their presence on my desk, a tad disconcerting. :) Have a great weekend, and try to keep warm.

  42. Enjoy your break. I am so in need of one. YHNI. Hug up on TMWGITU.

  43. Sorry, I was the evil blogger who exposed you to “what does the fox say”. I couldn’t help myself. I also don’t know how to leave my name with my poll response because I’m technologically inept. But I hope we can still be friends despite my shortcomings!

  44. I was scanning the comments and had to stop when I got to your comment about Russian and sheep. I had too many baaa-aaa-aaad thoughts.

  45. The week was picking up when it snowed. Then – bleh – it melted. Then….a foolishness in the pocket. Perfect ending. <3

  46. This winter has been one big, fat Ernest Shackleton expedition. And I can’t even blame Al Roker. This really sucks.

  47. Hi, El Guapo! Your job interview question has been posted on my site today ( Thanks again for your contribution, I had lots of fun with it. All the best, C.

  48. At a work seminar on getting along with coworkers, the speaker relayed the story about a girl who stood up on her desk and aimed a stream of air freshener down into the cubicle of the smelly person next to them. That’s probably the most unique thing I’ve ever heard about being voluntarily “thrown” in an office. I don’t know how the other party responded!

  49. You know, you ought to be careful when trying to catch someone’s attention with a shot rubber band. It’s all fun and games until . . . well, I think you know.

    Also, why am I not surprised that so many of the cow answers involved pulling on the poor beast’s teats?

  50. Oh, I’ve got some catching up to do! Hoping to make the pollster roster this time around, but you never know….beautiful weather and too many jobs can be an irresistible distraction. Happy week!

    • Laura, your answers are a delight whenever they come in.

      And barring that, I always enjoy when you stop by. It always makes me throw a smile to the dragonflies around the house.

      • Oh, I love that you are so friendly with your little flies, Guap! The most rewarding part of being an artist is knowing that others appreciate your work, and the little bits of your spirit in each piece. Which are like those silvery-ball sprinkles you used to get on your birthday cake as a kid. If you were lucky.

  51. I really want to come up with something awesome to suggest you throw @ your co worker, but it’s 0536am and I am suffering #Thunderbrain *pouty face*

  52. Instead of a rubber band, maybe get a Squirt Gun and fill it with Lemon Juice?

    Wait. That might get you arrested.


  53. Sorry for being the last to comment Guap
    I haven’t been around our blogosphere very
    much over the past week… No excuses :(

    Have a superb Thursday and keep warm :)


  54. Pingback: Able Was I, Ere I Saw Foolishness | Guapola

  55. I’m so happy to finally be an aunt so I can buy drum sets for the calf

Ahem *best Ricky Ricardo voice* Babble-OOOoooo!!!

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