Today’s Music: Huey Lewis and the News – Working For A Living
Hello, Hiring Guy,
I’m looking for a job. I have one right now, but I’ve improved this place as much as I can and I’m looking for new challenges. I would be a great hire because I’m really smart and will make you look good…until I’ve made all the improvements to your company that I can and then move on…like the Lone Ranger… into the sunset (room at the Hilton).
So here’s the list of stuff I’ve done. For money. Or booze.
Stuff with an * weren’t really “formal” jobs, but I got money. Or booze.
And at the bottom, I even threw in 2 that got away. Guess which one I wish I’d taken.
My Resume (and other stuff I’ve been paid to do)
Hey, all you parents out there, remember when you got paid to watch kids?
*Sang for some older folks for quarters for video games
High School General Store
Hey, it kept me out of the cafeteria.
Like a soda jerk, but I pulled the gas pump handles. Actually, it’s the boss who was a jerk. Dare I say Bozo?
And the smell does Not. Come. Out.
This wasn’t a formal hire.
But as I was always broke, my friends (the bartenders) let me drink free in exchange for bringing up a few cases of beer at the end of the night
*Stuck a pickle in my nose for 3 minutes
It covered my breakfast tab. Don’t judge me.
Movie Theater Usher/Concessions
Eating that much popcorn isn’t good for anyone. But it really tastes good. And I got to see movies as often as I wanted!
Coolest. Job. Ever.
Best. Job. Ever.
*Poker on a road trip.
Paid for my food for the trip
Deli Man in a Supermarket
There are some odd meats at the deli counter. And the people that order them look like the people that would order them.
All the food you can eat…
…Until you find out what’s in it…
…and learn that waiters (including me) suck…
Restaurant Project Manager
…and then you get to build a restaurant
Cook in a private club
Chef used to say that we cooked for the people who ran the world.
This is the only job I’ve ever had where I was so far out of my league, I felt bad about it.
The boredom was spectacular…
Professional Services Engineer
…until I changed departments
I work on ‘puters…
The ones that got away:
Of a start up “Boston Chicken” type operation in Westchester.
I’m telling you now, I was too young, and I was too inexperienced
But I’d have done a hell of a job.
Attendant at a MiniGolf/Arcade/Sailing lake in Montauk.
The one that got away.
This is a great story (I think) and will be it’s own post as I work my way through them.
Lotto Millionaire (????)
So I’ll start next week.
Oh, and I’ll need Tuesday off.
And a raise.