Today’s Music: Godsmack – Voodoo
El Guapo: No dammit! It’s a party. And we’re all going to harmoniously sing happy birthday. Or else!
Easter Wallaby(EW): Or else what? You’re gonna call me a bunny? Listen buddy, I’m used to that from you people.
EG: Settle down, fuzzy britches. And keep that tail where I can see it this time too. *Grabs the bottle of chocolate liquer from her hand* Let’s not make this any harder than it has to be.
*EW grabs back the bottle*
GroundHog(GH): Hey! No cracks about fuzziness. *to EW* You’re looking good, baby. Can I get a hit of that? *Tips the bottle*
EW: *leans in close* How’d they rope you into this?
GH: I thought there’d be a Kardashian here. Not a bunch of second rate holiday icons. *Leers at her* Present company excluded of course.
Captain Kirk(CK) (standing next to Picard(CP)): People! We have to…settledown…be…ORganized…Thisconfusion…andbickering…iswhatthey…want…fromUS
CP: Oh, shut up you windbag. *drinks tea*
Abe Lincoln(AL) (moving away from the other presidents): Tea! A fine choice, sir. *Claps CP on his back*
Teddy Roosevelt(TR): *whispering conspiratorially* I have a bully accompaniment for that! *pours a liberal slug of whiskey in*
EG: *Wrestling Tom Turkey(TT) to the ground* Roosevelt, if you turn this into another Panama Canal, I will personally send you back up the Amazon with out a paddle! *Jumps back into the fray*
AL: Theodore, you need another drink like I need-
TR: Another hole in the head? BWAHAH-
*Abe Lincoln crams his stovepipe hat onto Roosevelts head, temporarily blinding him, and smacks him about the jowls.
TT has broken free from EG and is now under the refreshments table pecking at the St. Patricks Day Leprechaun. EW and GH are on top of a bookcase, slowly taki- OHGOODLORD! Let’s just say they’re…busy, and leave it at that.
A loud crash freezes everyone.
A cloud of dust and debris floats around the remains of the front door, which has been mostly replaced by the nose of a classic red Cadillac. in the back seat, Lipschitz, Otis, Bown Shugga and Mrs. Claus choke in the fumes, as Santa Claus bounds from the front seat.
SC: HO HO HO!!!! Why so cheeeerless, everyone? We’re here for a very festive occasion!
EG (*dusting the fallout from his lederhosen*): Thank you Kris! Now as I was saying before, we are going to sing a joyful Happy Birthday to a wonderful (wo)man. A (wo)man who has touched us all deeply, whether by collecting travel pictures for charming young lady who’s battling cancer, or bringing us weird pictures of Invisible Man fellatio.
A (wo)man who has stuck to her dream to publish – not one, not two, but three!!! books, with the promise of more to come!
A (wo)man who I am proud to call a friend.
And HE would apprecia-
SC *head snapping around*: Who? Who’d you say, boy?
EG: HE is the (wo)man we should all be proud- no, privileged- nay, HONORED! to sing happy birthday to, to wish H.E. Ellis the best birthday EVER!
*EG realizes he’s been shouting into a suddenly still room. He opens his eyes slowly from his fervor to see that he is now surrounded by a whole bunch of not-so-festive looking holiday icons, all of them victims of HE Ellis’ sharp and delightful wit.* Um…maybe we’ll just send her a card! *Runs off*
Sincerely, from me, and all your blogtastic friends!
Edward Hotspur
Ginger Snaap
Cheeky Diva
LizzieC
Rogue Blogger
SandyLikeABeach
Trask Avenue
Awesome….as usual.
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Thanks susan. I hope you get to know her!
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I’ve already started stalking her blog and downloaded her book to my Kindle….I don’t waste time…haha
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Thank you! I hope you enjoy it.
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Already am!!
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Happy Birthday H.EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.!
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Thanks Susieeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
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Thank you boththththththth! Yeah, that didn’t work out quite as well as I had hoped.
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I love goats! Happy Birthday H.E.!
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YAY GOATS!
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Woo Hoo!
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Hey, I love goats too, but where did we get onto goats?
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It’s in the stars, John!
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I thought Capricorn was a mer-goat – half fish. Or is my astrology book outta date?
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And John dives right in with the “getting on goats”.
Sigh…
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Grrr. As a TOPIC, ya prevert. Not literally! 🙄
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I’ll have to check out those books. And her blog. That way I can be in on the fun 🙂 Happy birthday, H.E.!!
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Have a great time over there Ashley! She’s a lot of fun.
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Thanks! Stop by any time!
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Happy Birthday…
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Thanks Bulldog!
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Double thanks, Bulldog!
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Happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS, I love Voodoo. The song, not the practice. That’s just weird.
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Little known fact, Twin – when touring, the original band members stay home and control the road musicians through Voodoo…
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See?!?!?! That’s what I mean by weird.
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Both Sully Erna and Rob Zombie live less than an hour away from me. Knowing that fact will explain my blog.
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Well now I’m simply intrigued. I have clicked the almighty follow button and will pursue this weirdness wherever it may lead.
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May Lord have mercy on your soul.
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He hasn’t yet. I doubt He’ll start now.
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One of us…
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Not likely. Such is my luck.
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THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!! THANK YOU, EL GUAPO!!!
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Cheers to the king of birthday posts …. but on this day, louder cheers to H.E. … Happy Birthday H.E.!!!
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So happy (and relieved) you like it, HE!
And happy bifthday!
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Cheers indeed! Thanks, Frank!
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Hooray! Happy Birthday!
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Yay me!
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Yay!
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Invisible fellatio…HA!
Also, maybe it’s just me, but I don’t care if he was president of the United States, Teddy Roosevelt was WAY out of line with his ‘hole in the head’ remark. Lincoln wasn’t a particularly handsome man BEFORE the John Wilkes Booth affair, so you can bet he’s sensitive now. Teddy should recognize that. “Bully pulpit” only goes so far.
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I think Teddy is just trying to prove that despite Frnklin is in a wheelchair, there is plenty of manliness left in the Roosevelts.
Franklin, of course, is just cool.
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And was awesome in ANNIE.
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Happy Birthday! Now where’s the cake?
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It was last seen being violated by a wallaby, Carrie.
Thanks so much for bringing that disturbing image back to my mind…
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Don’t you mean, Where’s the PIE?? Oh man, I’ve been waiting for the perfect moment to unleash this one. Thanks, Carrie!
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For goodness sake!
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What he said…
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What it was…
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I keep missing the opening shots and coming in during the credits… sigh,..
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So do I, PMAO, and it’s MY birthday! I’m such a loser.
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Okay… knock that off…
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A fantastic birthday wish. I feel as if it is my birthday as you have given me the gift of laughter 🙂 Great post.
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Best coment ever, Colline! Thank you.
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That it is, Colline. 🙂
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY HELLIS!
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YEAH!
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Thanks, Ginger. You’re the Snaapiest!
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Blogtastic & jumping back into the fray! My take-aways from this awesome birthday post! Happy Day!
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Thanks Laura! Hey, if you could take away a few of those creature too, that would be great…
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But leave the Grounghog. He’s got my stash…of confederate bills…yeah, that’s it.
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I will agree on that one…
Geoff
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What a star-studded cast! Awesome birthday wishes, HE!!
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Thanks Red!
I’d like to be clear here that I was channeling HE, and there is none of me in those post.
*crap*
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Yes, his post is almost entirely *crap* free.
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Awesome indeed Red 🙂 🙂
Geoff xxx
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Happy Birthday, H.E!!! Guapo’s blog makes for the best party venue, am I right? Enjoy your day!!
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Yes, El Guapo is the Dick Clark of Blogworld with all of the charisma and none of the rigor mortis.
Too soon?
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haha! Not for me!!
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I’m going to just say thanks and leave the rest of that alone…
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You say the nicest things, Grippy!
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Happy birthday to H.E. from the not-so-blogtastic fans of Guapola, too! (And I love Teddy’s use of the word “bully.” I think it’s, well, bully!) ❤
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Bully!
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Thanks Stacy!
And there is no definition of “not-so-blogtastic” that applies to you.
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Thank you for saying so, Guap. You’re bully! ❤
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Yeehaw! 😉
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I’ve got The Gods of Asphalt on my list to read! You throw a heck of a party, Guapo! Happy Birthday HE Ellis!
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Thanks for coming, Whitelady! Now come take your keys out of the bowl…
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Thanks whitelady!
Her books are fun reads. I hope you enjoy it.
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Pingback: Supernatural Tire Flipping Tribute For Hellis Birthday | sandylikebeach
So many auspicious Capricorns…..happy birthday, HE!!! Have a great one!!!
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You know, there ARE an awful lot of Capricorns having birthdays right now. Makes me wonder what it is about our sign that draws us to blogging. It also makes me wonder just what the hell all our parents were into nine months prior.
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‘Tis a fine season to be born, Weebs, as attested to by the great character of recent birthday-ees!
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I’m still waiting for my slice of cake.
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El Guapo ate it.
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AGAIN?? DAMN HIM!!!
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It was devils food.
Totally not my fault. I mean, how could I resist?
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Hrumph.
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Happy Birthday, H.E. Wow, three books, how excellent!! I hope you enjoy your birthday!!!
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I sure did! I spent most of it writing my fourth one.
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I’ve enjoyed all three of them, Bumble.
Gods of Asphalt is a really well done full length novel!
(Reapers with Issues is bent. But in a really good way.
That poor dog…)
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Pingback: Happy Birthday To…. H.E. Ellis! | Edward Hotspur
Hey, hey, I’m a blogger too, and I wanna wish HE a Happy Birthday! Geez, just ’cause I’m running a bit behind, y’all go and forget about me. 😦
Happy Birthday, HE. I hope YOU remember me. (Sniff, sniff.)
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How could I forget you? I’m gonna need to pick your brain come spring when I rebuild my ’63 Lincoln Continental Convertible.
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Never forgotten, John.
Kind of like that rash that hospitalized me for three days in ’85…
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Three DAYS? Pfft. You got me for LIFE, bucko! 😈
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Pingback: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! « H.E. ELLIS
Happiest of Birthdays to HE..;-)
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Thanks, Free Penny!
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HOLY WHAT A BLOG POST! I’d like to thank you all for making my birthday the best one ever. I truly mean that. Your generosity today was just what I needed right now. El Guapo’s got the best friends ever!
Once again, thank you all. You truly have no idea what this has meant to me.
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It really was our pleasure, HE!
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(Winces.) Ooh, don’t know how much help I’ll be, I don’t do FoMoCo. I speak GM, with a little bit of Mopar on the side. Now, if you want to restore something German, I can not only teach you about the tech, but also learn you all the good swear words for when you bust a knuckle! 😀
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Schiesse!
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Well done
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Guapola rocks!
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Thank you John!
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I’m late to the party, but Happy Birthday, H.E.! I’m on my way over to your blog right now to look around!
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Thanks for the words!
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Ha! Blog parties never end, Maddie!
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I’m impressed, and a teeny, tiny, little bit jealous. Three books under her belt? That’s worthy of recognition in and of itself!
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Thanks! It’s easy when you have blog friends like Guap here as fans!
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No doubt. I’d like to pretend I’m you, then have him speak about me to my children. Make sense?
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Oh, I can’t see this going anywhere good.
Fun? Yes.
Good? Probably not.
hehehe
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H.E. Ellis and I go way back…
Great birthday post, El Guapo!
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Nice to see you around Hook
how is your book selling? 🙂 🙂
Hope everything is wicked…
Geoff
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Thanks Hook!
Everyone knows HE. She’s like blog fungus.
(Hope that gets taken as a compliment…)
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Yes we do! I hope the book is going well. You deserve all the success that comes your way, my friend!
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Hey H.E. Happy Birthday 🙂 🙂
This is a funtastic posting Guap 🙂
What am I on about, All of
your posts are funtastic 🙂
Enjoy your evening now…
Geoff
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Thanks Geoff- you’re too kind!
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Thanks, Geoff! The more the merrier!
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Any friend of El Guapo’s
is a friend of mine H.E. 🙂
Enjoy the rest of your weekend…
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Nicely done, Guap. Happy Belated to H.E.! Hope it was grand…Guap, you certainly seemed to make her day. Lovely….
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Thank you Rogue,
Who wouldn’t want to do something nice for HE?
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Thanks Rogue! It’s been a blast!
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Happy Birthday Hahaha!!!!! 😀 May all the cupcakes and birthday cakes are with you!!!! Time to eat now!!! Yey!!!
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Thanks ristinw!
Wait – we need an excuse to eat cupcakes?!?
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I love me some cupcakes, especially the red velvet kind with cream cheese frosting…mmm….
[insert Homer Simpson drool noise here]
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OH MYYYYY.. I’m SO sorry I missed the party (not all the iconic guests, though) – HE is definitely one of a kind, which is why I think of HE(r) as my sister from another mister, ya know… ?
HE and EG and everyone else who commented (or made guest appearances) – y’all make the blog world ONEderful!!!
Happy Happy HE… it cool to have a birthday so soon after Christmas, yes?
And GOA is an AWESOME read!!! (just haven’t got to the other 2 yet, but I WILL)!!!
hugs and such…
🙂
janet
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Oh, and HE…? I hope I can find you a gift anywhere near as awesome as the one you brought to your own party!!! I may be gone for a while…
🙂
*whistlin’ dixie”
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Thanks, Buddha! I’m loving your fractal art by the way. It’s gorgeous!
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Thanks, HE!!!
🙂
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Happy Birthday HE! Guap really knows how to throw a party! Who knew Lincoln was so much fun! 😀
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