Category Archives: Friday Foolishness

Somewhere, Over The Foolishness…


Today’s Music: Slim Harpo – I’m A King Bee
Days Til Spring: SIX!!!
And if you can, please help out Merbear.===========================>>>

Welcome to the last Foolishness before Spring begins. And what a week it was – the warm! The cold! The office shennanigans! How can one survive such madness? Why, by taking refuge in the ‘sphere, of course. Here’s some of what I saw…
Sharp Little Pencil wrote out her Mainfesto (in poetry form, of course). Anja wrote a great freeverse about Ego, and John Phillips put this winter in Perspective

Seriously, if I didn’t get to read them and all the rest of you, I’d have probably run for the hills after this week, so thanks!
Mankini
Last week I asked for a different form of perspective – yours, on how you prepare for bikini season. And while none of you have body issues, that isn’t to say you are issue free. Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are sun-kissed in italics.)

doing yoga and praying – Curvyroads
(I’m praying I don’t have to yoga.)
Drinking, smoking and thinking impure thoughts. (Mollytopia)
(So…nothing special then…)
applying for my bikini hunting license. – calahan
(Remember, it’s “catch and release”. Not “release the clasp”.)
covering up. No one wants to see a monster truck tire on thunder struts. JakLumen
(You should model that in the Deep South…)
Ignoring the bikini mandate and eating lots of pasta. –PLS
(Bowtie pasta is known for its classic hourglass shape.)
Studying for the “Official Inspector” certification exam. BT
(It’s the hands-on inspections that get you in trouble.)
making a Rainbow Loom swimsuit ~whatimeant2say
(Not Fruit of the Loom?)
drinking ALL the beers! (Words & Other Things)
(Too late! *gulp*)
Dreaming of winter! (Stacy)
(Nightmare.)
Going on a liquid-only diet. Beer me! – Erin E.
(Blogger, me!)
hot wax, sunscreen and gin, not necessarily in that order.The Sailor’s Woman
(Wait – you don’t drink them all at once???)
Not eating carbs. (hypothetically)
(There are some fine vegetable liquors. (perhaps…)
Installing a few wicked Apps, I just hope I won’t be late… Andro
(Smartphones can kill?!?)
Slapping a few choice asses, bend over girls… Andro
(Pretty sure they’ll slap back. Hard. Perhaps with shovels.)
Removing as many as I can, when it happens… Andro
(I’m guessing that’s one before the cops show up…)
A million burpees! Amy
(I draw the line at seven hundred fifty thousand and eight.)
completely ignoring it! – Benzeknees
(Ask not for who the bikini bares. It bares for me, not thee.)
wiki searching “bikini.” thematticuskingdom
(Hey, if you have to ask…)
guzzling beer so I’m too drunk to go to the beach. thematticuskingdom
(The Hawaiian Tropic girls will be so disappointed!)
nothing. I live in CA – it’s always bikini season. thematticuskingdom
(I don’t think it counts as a season if it’s all the time…)
buying protective eyewear. (MizYank)
(A sleep mask might be the only way to avoid the horror!)
Bikini? ja,ja,ja! My skirted suit might see the daylight… someday.brickhousechick
(A long swimsuit! Leaving even MORE to the imagination!)
Um, it’s called a Burkini. Maggie
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
finishing this tub of ice cream – Twindaddy
(I don’t think that kind of oil protects from sunburn…)
digging a very deep hole. Elyse 54.5
(Much like me, in these comments.)
Moving to the Arctic for the season.~~Addie
(There are those who say that will be the warmest habitable continent soon…)
Getting ready?!? This body was born ready for the bikini season –Marie Nicole 😉
(They make bikini onesies?)
Consuming prunes and imported Mexican tap water to get to my birth weight
(And it will go through you as fast as baby food did back then!)
shaving my back…sooo hard to reach..(SnB)
(Maybe your barber will give a volume discount?)
collecting yellow polka dots. sandylikeabeach
(Can you fit more than six on that teeny thing?)
There’s a bikini season?! That must be the one warm day we have. Kayjai
(I thought I saw Rob Ford in one the other day.)
shaving my eyebrows off (Rutabaga)
(I’ll just be trimming my ear hair.)

Congratulations to Maggie for her modesty! And from the offered choices, the most popular, by a wide margin, was Lobbying to bring back the swimsuits of the 30s. The long ones. So congrats to all of you you too. Unless your modesty precludes you from accepting?
snowed-in-car
This week is Winter’s last one on the calendar til the bottom of the year. So, lets send it off in style, feeling good about itself. Offer as many well wishes for Winter as you like, but offer them by 2359 EDT, Tuesday 18 March, because that’s when this one closes.
Try and keep yourself to three Other answers if you do write-ins, and if you do leave an Other, add a way to recognize you at the end, and I’ll link back to you next week.


And until we meet again, enjoy this…
This one always makes me laugh, so I thought I’d use it again

Have a great week, y’all!

Advertisements

Size Doesn’t Matter. It’s How You Foolishness that Counts.


Today’s Music: Har Mar Superstar – Lady You Shot Me
Days Til Spring: 13!!!
And if you can, please help out Merbear.===========================>>>

As I write this, I’m hearing that today will be a delightful, sunny, pre-spring day with temps in the low to mid forties. The hope that the weatherman is right is what’s keeping me going. Along, of course, with blogs! Here’s some of what I’ve read…
Trent Lewin had some strong words about Manliness. Quornstar talked about Body Image, and Jots From a Small Apartment had a beautiful painting to go with a Difficult Question.

Thanks to them, and everyone else, for all the great reading. Seriously, I could have listed a few dozen posts above and not even scratched the surface.

Oh, and American Injustica honored me with a Liebster Award! Nothing better than a nice steamed Liebster! Or something. Anyway, she has a great site, and I love her Ink photos right along with her writing. Hope you check her out!

No...no, I think I prefer vanilla. Maybe. Hold on...

No…no, I think I prefer vanilla. Maybe. Hold on…


Last time, many of you checked out the poll, wherein we asked to take a look inside the churning maelstrom of your minds by asking you to finish the phrase I think…, and the view was spectacular! Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are reconsidered in italics.)

I just killed my last brain cell…1 Jaded 1
(My last was a suicide.)
therefore my brain cramps (Curvyroads)
(Maybe start with the easier suduko puzzles?)
I’ll respond to this poll. – Carrie Cannibalistic Nerd
(Are you sure you don’t want to rethink that?)
terrible things and then I blog about them. –Aussa Lorens
(Or you could act them out on a reality show!)
you probably shouldn’t have squeezed that.
(But the Charmin is soooo soft.)
This blog makes my butt look fat..zannyro
(I knew i should have gone with the vertical stripe theme!)
therefore I am (thawed out)
(What a chilling thought.)
people suck more often than not.
(Thus explaining the prevalence of porn on the internet…)
Fred Flintstone invented thongs… But can’t sing for toffee… Andro
(But he’ll do a mean lodge handshake for a brontosaurus burger.)
About purple, blue and red, but then blondes are fun too… Andro
(What, no pink?)
Another orgy is called for… Andro
(Not til you finish the last one we gave you.)
0443 is a terrible time to wake up on a Sunday morning in a strange city
(No. That’t a terrible time to wake up in any city.)
that was me in the strange city – Kanerva
(I’m not sure it’s just the city that was strange…)
that Starbucks has a lot to answer for – Kanerva
(And they will answer. At the top of their lungs. Whether the place is full or not.)
the interwebs are overrated – Kanerva
(1.9 billion facebook users would disagree. And then show you pictures of their cats.)
I need another chance to think about this – Benzeknees
(Don’t think of it as a chance to think about these polls. Think of it as a chance to escape them!)
(And take me with you!!!))

therefore I BRRRRAAAIIIINNNNSSSS!!! (I’m pulling out the stops for the win!) Linda Vernon
(NOOOO- That last stop was for the drain in the trophy bin.)
(Oops.)

you’re misinformed if you think I think. – Revis
(But…but I read it on the internet.)
…therefore I thinking that I thought. merlinspielen
(And did you ponder the cogitation?)
I think someone should convert phlegm into a biofuel.
(Umm…it’s the thought that counts?)
I think there should be a law against brain freeze. ~Maddie
(The Ice Cream lobby will take it under advisement.)
I’ve just about had it with all this fucking snow and winter shit – Hotspur
(Sorry. I’ll ask the snowmen to tone it down.)
Therefore I write. If I didn’t blog about it, it didn’t happen. (Dawn @ TFTM)
(My lawyer told me the security footage was proof enough.)
I work with idiots when one actually declared “ugh, I just hate thinking”
(We work for the same boss???)
Then, I forget what I was thinking. ~~Addie
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
Therefore I nap. – Lily In Canada
(What happened that you need to think about that???)
therefore I am a Democrat. Elyse 54.5
(I think we’ve established that there’s no thinking in politics!)
“What can I say about this Elixir? Rutabaga (an answer re-use!)
(That it will turn you into a great googly moogly.)
therefore I will be silly. thematticuskingdom
(Did you think you could avoid it?)
I’ll have some whiskey, 3 fingers, neat. thematticuskingdom
(Whatever happened to garnishing with just olives?)
it tastes nothing like butter. thematticuskingdom
(I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!)
therefore I have BRRRAAAIIIIINNNNNSSSSS!!!! Red.
(Participating in these polls disproves that.)
I think my thinker broke. – aliceatwonderland
(Try duct tape. And tequila.)
I think too much
(Not if you’re participating in these polls…)
If you succeed to fail is a confusing concept… (Dogging the Wag)
(I think you should lay off the fortune cookies…)
I think I’m awesome. Deanna
(You’re not sure?!?)
That Friday is my most favoritist of days! Kayjai
(This is why Monday hates you.)
assless chaps will be the new Uggs.
(I thought shame and regret were the new Uggs?)
I forgot to put my name to the assless chaps–Speaker 7
(Well, it’s not like they’re so widespread that someone would confuse yours for their- Ohh, you meant for the poll…)
Zorro …. no Sasquatch … Confused … yes (Frank)
(Just ask Leonard Nimoy. He already went In Search Of those.)
that rash ain’t gonna go away by itself. Time to head to the doctor.-Twindaddy
(How will you explain the rash got there by itself?)
in technicolor ! =)
(I see in 3D!)
only of hollow, timber surfboards. And it’s all YOUR fault!
(Better than hollow-timber thoughts!)
Can someone else just tell me what to think? Not A Punk Rocker
(Reading the answers this week, I’m pretty sure no one here knows…)

Congratulations to Addie for this weeks winning answer! And from the offered choices, the most popular were therefore I am confused and I’ll have the chicken…. So congrats to all of you who can cogitate while you masticate!
(Whoohoo! I’ve been waiting forever to use that phrase!!!)

Oh, this old thing? Just some thing I poured on...

Oh, this old thing? Just some thing I poured on…


This week, with Spring less than two weeks away, we turn to the biggest thing on everyones minds: Bikini Season! So we’re asking, how will you get ready for this important time period? Answer often, but answer soon, because this one ends Tuesday, 11 March, 2359 EDT (Daylight Savings starts Sunday). Try and keep yourself to three Other answers if you do write-ins, and if you do leave an Other, add a way to recognize you at the end, and I’ll link back to you next week.

And to finish up, I thought I’d go with some incredible(y stupid) warm weather stunts.
First, I used this a long time ago and had forgotten it, but Dianne Gray reminded me about it on Tuesday’s post.

And this one I was probably introduced to by Frank

Have a great week everyone. See y’all around the sphere!

To Be Or Not To Be. That Is The Foolishness.


Today’s Music: Paul McCartney – Hope of Deliverance
Days Til Spring: 27!!!

I’m ecstatic! The temperature is above freezing! The weekend is almost here! And I got to read some great stuff this week too. Here’s some of what I saw…Samantha Hines wrote about a porch that was more than just a porch.T. Dawn gave a great fiction piece about being someone else, and this one’s a little old, but Quirky put up quite possibly the most hilariously disturbing food post I’ve been lucky to read. It has donuts. That’s all I’m going to say.
A great week of reading, from them and everyone else, so thanks for that!

Oh, and TwinDaddy at Stuphblog is highlighting me on Feature Friday! Probably because he’s trying to lose followers. But I hope y’all pop over to check him out and follow. He’s a great voice in the cloud.

Einstein
But one particular time when it doesn’t seem like anyone was reading was Valentine’s Day. In last week’s poll, we asked how, instead of doing the traditional things, you’d be celebrating. And I don’t think Hallmark makes cards for all your ideas. Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are dressed skimpily in italics

Catching up on all the foolishness… It is Friday after all (Kanerva)
(So…watching couples fight for parking at overcrowded restaurants?)
Hybernating until spring. Kayjai
(That’s barely a one month nap. Is it even worth it?)
Celebrating Zombie Day instead 🙂 Don’t ask… Andro
(And Jesus appreciates your devotion!)
Searching the TV Guide in hopes of a new episode of Shark Tank. ~Maddie
(In a stirring Valentine’s episode, the judges make a romantic dinner out of the dreams of hopeful contestants!)
No time for Valentine’s Day–I’ll be trading in my iPhone5 for a new iPhone 5S
(Buy now to get the Date-A-Hipster app free!)
Party Hearty on Mardi Gras! (Stacy)
(I thought King Baby came 9 months after Valentine’s Day?)
We went to a SF/fantasy/gaming convention! jaklumen
(Yeah, my wife needs extraordinary circumstances to dress up like Slave Princess Leia too.)
Roadtripping!!! Kanerva
(Better than icesliding!)
Washing my hair (Elyse 54.5)
(You were doing it in slo-mo, with that head flick, right?)
Hunting around in the yard for Cupid’s arrow, since it missed me and my house.
(Doesn’t having a diaper clad sniper in the neighborhood make the real estate values go down?)
to donate my heart, which is like a trampoline- stomped on and resilient. Samara
(It’s the Timex of organs!)
Celebrating National Organ Donor Day, which also falls on Feb 14. Samara
(I wonder how many overused livers they reject on the 15th…)
Hoping none of my friends catch the VD… 1 Jaded 1
(As long as they didn’t sit on a toilet seat…)
Canceling my plans and vomiting all weekend, huzzaaahhhugh –Aussa Lorens
(Funny, those usually are my plans…)
Drinking heavily.
(So…nothing special for Valentines Day.)
Trying to remember what romance was like before children. And drinking. Deanna
(For many of us, it’s the drinking while being romantic that leads to children.)
I will be offering group Commando weekends, well if it’s warm enough 🙂 Andro
(I really don’t want to hear about disassembling the rifles for cleaning.)
Enjoying a Saturday night in alone, strike that idea I want some fun 🙂 Andro
(How about organising an orgy?)
organising an orgy for something else, hopefully 🙂 Andro
(Sure, steal my idea…)
shoveling snow…sigh SnB
(Hey, it’s better than how the elephant tender at the zoo is spending his Valentine’s Day!)
Trying to figure out why my old Christmas tree is stuck to my balcony.
(That holiday spirit is year round!)
Celebrating St. Patrick’s Day early. – Hotspur
(I thought the early partying for that started March 18th?)
Cooking a beautiful dinner for me and the lovely Mr S. Valentine’s rules okay r
(Wait – the rules are she has to cook for him???)
I think instead of celebrating I will be going to the doctor to clear up that annoying rash left over from the last romantic holiday I celebrated…… PMAO
(No one celebrates groundhog day like you!)
(Thank goodness.)

Spending time on C4C with lonely blogging buddies – Benzeknees
(Look, if you’re going to say stuff like that, it’s very hard to mock you.)
(Which doesn’t mean I won’t try.)

But I like Valentine’s Day…dammit, so much for my clever answer.
(Don’t feel bad. I never have clever answers.)
Shoving Cupid’s arrows up his keister, gently of course. polysyllabic profundities
(Downtown, they usually charge extra for gentle.)
Celebrating Valentoons Day watching a PePe Lepu Marathon-Linda Vernon
(Umm…those are episodes of TLC’s Strange Love: Skunks…)
Seeing a flemish bluegrass arthouse flick about cancer. For real (rollergiraffe)
(Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.)
Celebrating all the 50% off Chocolate sales after V-Day! –RoS
(But acne cleanser goes up to 150%.)
I’m french. I am valentines day ya fucker. (Marie Nicole)
(And now I see how “pardon my french” became a thing.)
silly. Same thing I do every day. thematticuskingdom
(But if you marry Punky Brewster, what will the children look like?)
trying to take over the world. Same thing I do every day. thematticuskingdom
(Wait – are you the one that’s the genius, or the one that’s insane?)
stalking people through their blogs. same thing I do every day. thematticuskingdom
(Only then will you prove your mousey worth!)
At Duane Reade, buying Easter decorations. BT
(Better hurry before the xmas decorations crowd them off the shelves.)
Trying to think of something that rhymes with ‘Politically Correct’.
(All I can think of is “erect”. Because apparently, I’m twelve.)
Shoveling snow. Walking the dog in the snow. Building a snow cupid. SNNOOOWWW!!!
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
drinking, big time. Alex A.
(Being single means never having to share teh Valentines booze!)
Trying to convince Al Roker to shovel your place. (Frank)
(He’s too busy shoveling crap on the NYC mayor.)
Buying a box of Valentine’s Day cards and having a bonfire with them – Twindaddy
(Ah, fanning the flames of love…)
working on the other kind of VD – you know the STD kind… Rutabaga
(One Standard Valentines Day, coming up.)
Prepping for my colonoscopy.
(Dinner and drinks with the proctologist first?)
Packing for my holidays! YAY!!
(I hope your suitcase is big enough to fit the whole class.)

Congratulations to the anonymous patron for this weeks winning answer! And from the offered choices, the most popular was a tie between Coming down from the post-Olympics high. (Curling is intense!) and Sending Ben & Jerry’s stock through the roof. (Loneliness never tasted so good.). So congratulations to all you Olympic level ice cream eaters out there!

Much more appropriate than that Thinker guy...

Much more appropriate than that Thinker guy…


This week finds the Greater Republic of Guapola in a ponderous mood. Philosophical even! But instead of Socrates famous “Like the sands through the hourglass…” (mostly because sand makes me think of chafing in awkward areas) we focus instead on Descartes “I think, therefore I am”. So this weeks question is What do you think?
Answer often, and take your time to ponder, because this one closes in ten days, on Monday 3 March, at 2359 EST. (My brain will need the extra week to recover from all this thinking, so no foolishness next friday. It’s also possible I’ll just be hibernating.)
Try and limit your write ins to four answers, and if you like, leave a name on your write-ins, and I’ll link back to you next week.

And as we had into the weekend, enjoy these!
First, here’s a clever falling domino set up. Turn your speakers down a bit, because the music is electronica.
Unless you like electronica, in which case I forgive you.

And finally, a brilliant ode to the Spiderman Musical. With flying!
(I think the audience member is Exile on Pain Street.)

And until we meet again, have a great weekend, and a thorough foolishness!

Frankly my dear, I don’t give a Foolishness.


Today’s Music: JD McPherson – North Side Gal
Days Til Spring: 34

Snow. Rain. More snow. Sleet. Oh yeah, freezing temps. How to survive a winter gone mad? Why, read blogs of course! Here’s some of what I saw… GingerFightBack blew me away with The Norton. Brickhouse Chick used a very scientific sample of one for her survey on What Women Want, and Exploring Pixie wrote a strong post about women and Google Suggestions.

They, and all of you, were in great form this week!

Antihero
But last week, there was foolishness, in the form of asking the stupidest question yet (probably), who should be the next antihero? And wow, were your heroes…anti. Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are apathetic in italics.)

A fat bloke in a pink and lime green thong… Andro
(Or as I like to call it, my college years.)
Chris of Wombania… Andro
(The wine gums keep him surly.)
Dog the Bounty Hunter’s Aunt Freda… Andro
(She trained Dog well. Except for the slobber.)
The Soup Nazi. Hey, Seinfeld is making a comeback. (or King Kong) ~ RoS
(He uses croutons to pelt his enemies into submission!)
(And no monkeys!!!)

the last great hero flipped inside out? butimbeautiful
(Wouldn’t that be “the first average meh”?)
Beiber after Miley frees him from the clutches of Selena Gomez. ~merlinspielen
(Pay no attention to the Lindsey Lohan behind the curtain.)
devilishly handsome and unbelievably sexy.
(Hmm…never thought of myself as an antihero…)
Peter Parker’s Aunt May – John Phillips
(Behind every great superhero is an aunt who wishes he’d clean his room.)
Walgreens, for continuing to sell tobacco products next to the vitamins.
(That’s got to be the silliest thing I’ve ever heard! Who would ever suggest that???)
Did the Walgreens comment go through? That was mine! Erin E.
(Oh…um…HI THERE!)
To the muncher in the 4×4 behind me who is honking because i refuse to ice dance 1 Jaded 1
(You were their only hope to beat the North Koreans at Sochi.)
Ron Paul~~Addie
(Able to bring government to a grinding halt! It’s Two First Names Man!)
Dennis Rodman.
(Or as he’s know in North Korea, Tall Annoying Man.)
PMAO… Dick Cheney
(Dick Cheney is a wonderful man. HEAR THAT, NSA???)
Any govt official who gets to decide who gets benefits & who doesn’t – Benzeknees
(I thought those were all former DMV agents?)
Death. As in The Angel Of. I hear he’s on Match.com GO DEATH!
(When did he break up with Taxes?)
Death. I get so excited I forget to reveal myself – Marie (cyber house rules)
(But you look so good in the intimidating black robe with the hood…)
Hipster-man. He solved that crime before you even heard it happened. BT
(If only he looked as cool in his fedora as Kojak.)
Effervescent Banana Man —Linda Vernon
(He…peels his opponents apart and defeats them while they’re…split.)
Men who slide naked over bars. (Carrie Rubin)
(Oh, like anyone ever does that.)
Olivia Pope. I couldn’t help myself. I love her. Deanna from MMV
(Versus her mortal enemy: Nielsen Ratings Man.)
Rush Limbaugh – Twindaddy
(Anti “hero”, not anti “Christ”.)
Obama. He’s already the anti-Christ, right? Elyse 54.5
(Obama and Limbaugh are the same person??? So much is clear now…)
Toting beer and bacon..obviously a Canuck! Kayjai
(It’s Canadian Bacon. DARN YOU, EVIL WIZARD!!!)
Theses guys

(But can they get out persistent stains?) (Full disclosure: My comment stolen shamelessly from something Rutabaga said last week.)
Pull my finger, and I’ll tell ya… come on, do it – Rutabaga
(Sure, but…why are you wearing a gas mask?)

We can’t name the winner, because antiheroes shun the spotlight. But they’re out there… And from the offered choices, the most popular was the guy who writes these polls. Thanks!…I think…

funny-valentines-day-pictures-17
This week, love is in the air. At least, that’s what Hallmark and the jewelry companies would have us believe.
But for those of us that don’t buy into that, what can we do? Well, that’s this weeks poll. Answer often, but answer soon. Because while love is timeless, this poll closes Wednesday, 19 Feb at 2359. Please don’t go over 3 write-in answers, and if you like, leave a name on your write-ins, and I’ll link back to you next week.


And as we head into a (probably not any) warmer weekend, enjoy this – greatest product ever!

Have a great week, everyone.

Able Was I, Ere I Saw Foolishness


Today’s Music: The Feelies – Crazy Rhythms
Days Til Spring: 41

Another long week, but we made it to Friday! And how did we get here? By reading blogs, of course! Here’s some of what I saw… Ericka Clay posted a great piece of fiction that takes place in Brooklyn. Sandy Mitchell wrote the perfect Surfing Metaphor that also works for the rest of life, and Same Burn, Different Flame wrote about the importance of silencing the Little Voices.

Thanks to them, and everyone else for great reading while I was stuck in Canada and all week long.

To be fair, there was no one to stop him when he threw things...

To be fair, there was no one to stop him when he threw things…


Something I didn’t get to see in Canada were the answers to last weeks poll, where we asked what you should throw at coworkers. And wow, looking at the answers now, I’m amazed any work ever gets done! Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are on a coffee break in italics.)

Duck! throw it yell it and you warned em so all good Lizzie C
(It’s like confit-ti!)
a brick. works and you have a moment of daze to duck. Lizzie C
(I should have mentioned I work in a rubber room…)
I say flick boogers. x, Becca (LON)
(HR is going to ask the CDC how to quarantine that.)
snappy comebacks – That One Guy
(Coworkers provide such good source material…)
I throw my voice so he doesn’t know it’s me telling him off. The Sailor’s Woman
(That fern is going to get a bad reputation…)
grenades
(I can see why Bruno Mars broke up with you.)
Why would you need their attention? (Stacy)
(Someone has to know to wake me if the boss comes by.)
some really good one-liners….moments of pure brilliance! polysyllabic profundities
(Brilliance has no place in the workplace!!!)
If I throw something at Cimmy, “Nice catch!” should be what I say next.
(Preferably over your shoulder. While running away.)
I don’t have a coworker. I’m a homesteader.
(Showoff.)
My boss – John Phillips
(Don’t hurt your back lifting his ego.)
Nothing. I send emails. Accountants are to introverted for human interaction.
(How about adding lolcatz to “reply alls”?)
Slingshot balls of flarp. Red.
(I like to do bank shots with flubber.)
death stares. It appears I’m good at that. Or else, mosquitos (alive)! NBI
(Just don’t practice the stare in the mirror…)
Bag ‘O Badgers (pat. pending) and my resignation letter ~Miss R
(That’ll teach the Den of Weasels©!)
Flue virus – that should give a few days of rest for both me and them. (List of X)
(Wait – people use sick days when they’re sick???)
A paperclip that hit her in the eye. I stopped after that. Quirky
(Best to go out on a win!)
I throw non sequiturs like there is no tomorrow
(The bananas are effervescent this morning.)
Awesome super-effective original ideas that will nevertheless be ignored. – Hotspur
(I think I’ve worked in that office…)
foolishness. of course. thematticuskingdom
(Scientists are working hard on an aerodynamic foolishness that does not fall flat. Unlike mine.))
Me? Nothing. The kingdom wizard throws curses at them for me. thematticuskingdom
(I hide behind Betsy from Payroll.)
baseball bat. might be hard to smuggle in library. – aliceatwonderland
(Tell them you’re making Malamud’s The Natural come alive!)
fun facts and trivia that can be shared at parties – calahan
(I like to give minutiae on photocopying body parts.)
“up” Linda Vernon
(It’s all fun and games until it lands…)
From the dust on your keyboard, you could flick a dustball – Benzeknees
(If you mean that one creepy guy in Records, I don’t think that’s dust…)
A curve ball (Elyse 54.5 again)
(SEXUAL HARASSMENT!!!)
Popcorn if you know nobody’s packing heat (Elyse 54.5)
(Or socks! If you know no one is packing bags.)
PMAO says; I like to throw myself at my coworkers… wait… I don’t have coworkers
(So much is clear now…)
Glances which state clearly I’m not you’re team-building-activity buddy – Alex A
(I find not catching them during the falling exercise is much more effective than “glances”.
A paper clip shower. The Bumble Files
(With styrofoam conditioner!)
Deodorant. That dude smells really ripe.
(No, that’s just the hopelessness radiating off him.)
All of my coworkers died in a freak office related “accident” –Lily In Canada
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
another co-worker…so many aerodynamic specimens to choose from…Weenie Girl
(Any excuse to use this picture!)
ill-beat-a-mother
superballs. ummm, that came out sounding weird. – speedo
(And yet, so effective…)
brickhousechick: a confetti of vegan/organic quinoa drenched in pork fat
(The Food Network would like to hire you after you’re fired from that job.)
A collected volume of your blogs~Addie
(Woah! We just want to startle them, not kill them!)
Jelly babies! I know he doesn’t like them so I would get them back! MBT
(Hope he picks off the industrial carpet fibers first…)
Poop. We all need to channel our inner monkey once in awhile. – The Waiting
(*buys raincoat for office*)
My Diet Coke can. Full or empty depends on the amount of rage. Kayjai
(Funny, my tequila bottle has a scale to measure that right on the side.)
Insults – Twindaddy
(Those are best hurled, not thrown.)
gobbets of diseased flesh via catapult – The (Medieval) Mercenary Researcher
(Don’t the other lunch ladies get upset when you throw the meals around?)
Definitely BRRRAAIIIINNNNSSSS (Frank)
(What, and waste mine at work???)
Throw ’em a bone to go with those braiiins!
(…and that’s how caveman baseball was invented!)
Passive aggressive remarks-Not A Punk Rocker
(I suppose if that’s what you think is best…)

Congratulations to Lily In Canada for this week’s winning answer! And from the offered choices, the most popular was BRRRRAAIIIIINNNSSS!!! (Hey! It works!) So glad to see we’re all using brains at work for something.
Antihero
We loved Walter White. We cheered on Dexter.We wept at the trials of that guy in those viagra commercials.
They all have some things in common: they’re distant. Emotionally unavailable. Ratings getters. Which made those wacky pollsters in Guapberg wonder, who will be the next antihero? Well, that’s this weeks poll.
Answer soon, answer often – but answer by 2359 EST on Wednesday, 12 Feb, because that’s when this one ends. Please don’t go over 3 write-in answers, and if you like, leave an name on your write-ins, and I’ll link back next week.

And before we go back to the daily grind, enjoy this…

Have a great week everyone!

Is that a Foolishness in your pocket or- oh, never mind, I see it. It’s a Foolishness.


Today’s Music: Squeeze – Goodbye Girl
Days Til Spring: 55

Snowpocalypse

Janus is displeased with the commuters.

SNOWPOCALYPSE!!!! (Sorry, we’re still in negotiations with Cato. Apparently he won’t appear until we promise to spell his name correctly or something.) Anyway, what can you do when the fluff is flying and you’re out of whipped cream for your hot chocolate (true story!)? Why, read blogs of course!
Here are some great posts I saw this week. Jazzy Beat Chick posted a beautiful ode to her father.The Waiting had a hilarious grade school run-in with beer (though she handled it completely differently than I would have). And Kina Diaz wrote a fantastic post about seeing herself from a completely different perspective

And Spreading Crazy Smiles nominated me for a Shout Out Award! (Possibly because of my catcalling during Chris Christie’s inauguration…) Anyway, I hope you check out her site. I’ve spent some time there, and am already enjoying the hell out of myself.

Thanks to them, and everyone else for giving me great stuff to read this week!

But the question this week is actually the question from last week, or last week’s poll, which asked what does the cow say?. And wow, were your cows talkative! Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are grain fed in italics.)

“what does the fox say? ” what? its curious..oh did you say COW? damn LizzieC
(Cow hopes curiosity doesn’t do to him what it did to the cat.)
It’s not what it says, it’s what it wears! (Stacy)
(Cow has a leather fetish.)
baa when he’s trying to pass for a sheep.
(Cow looks like a young William Shatner with that perm.)
you just squeezed my tit..sexual harassment! (SnB)
(Whew! I was afraid I was milking the boy cow!))
What does the fox say?
(The fox says Ylvis should be slapped vigorously about the jowls.)
(The blogger says WHY DID YOU MAKE ME LISTEN TO THIS???)

Chocolate Fondue. ~Maddie Cochere
(The cow wishes he had something to dip besides grass.)
Something really droll in a British accent –The Waiting
(Cow says we are very a-moo-sed.)
That farmer has a fetish for stools, and grabbing my teets… Andro
(Better then the farmer grabbing the cows…stool…)
Stop pulling my tits you great oaf 😦 Andro
(Cow prefers drinks and whispered sweet nothings first. Perhaps some lemongrass…)
To milk is human; to grill bovine. – Hotspur
(I really don’t want to know what Cow is cooking over there.)
go ahead, audition for jersey shore. I dairy ya! polysyllabicprofundities
(GTL, BABY! (Grass, thatch, lawn.))
Your hands are cold. Red.
(The better to stiffen the udders!)
You’re not touching me with those cold hands! Benzeknees
(It’ll hurt you more than it hurts Cow.)
(Seriously.)
(He kicks.)

“For ‘Moo’ Press 2. For ‘Moo Moo’ Press 3. For ‘woof’ Press 4” – calahan
(MAD COW DEMANDS A LIVE OPERATOR IMMEDIATELY!!!)
“Sanjay–I am your father!”
(Darth Holstein? Is that you?)
Isosceles triangle or, failing that, moo. Linda Vernon
(Cow studies hyperbolic arcs because moons are difficult to jump.)
take the batteries out of this damn thing before your mother loses her mind.Maggie O.C.
(Cows’s aunt will be giving calf a drum set this year.)
Jack! Jack! I’m safer than a beanstalk! Elyse 54.5
(Jack should have just gone to Grandma’s house…)
I told you not to bother me when I’m jumping over the Moon! Elyse 54.5
(But Cow!!! That’s my laundry bag, not a parachute!!!)
My poop is full of nutrients. In 62 days, you can put some in your garden.
(Cow says his doesn’t stink.)
brickhousechick says: “Why buy me when you get my udders for free!”
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
I bet I taste freaking fantastic. thematticuskingdom
(Cow is known for his good…taste.)
ting tang walla walla bing bang. thematticuskingdom
(Cow says he loves you. And chipmunks.)
The cow says you keyed my car. Is that true? Ross Murray
(Cow is lashing out because he’s still jealous I stole his girlfriend in high school.)
Would you like a fresh pie? (Frank)
(Cow definitely belongs on the menu instead of serving it.)
Get your hand off my nipples! Twindaddy
(Cow appreciates warm hands.)
Oi – I’m good with horseradish sour cream. Rutabaga
(Cow just wants to bathe in a Calgon demiglace before she’s taken away. To the dinner table.)
how now but only if it’s not brown.
(Is there a Brown Chicken to go with that Brown Cow?)
(Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?)

Lets all go to the mooovies. Yeah that’s all I got. Kayjai
(And enjoy our popcow! Yeah, right there with ya…)
“Moo. Milk my teats. Harder…harder..YES! Moo.” Not A Punk Rocker
(Umm…I’m not sure that’s milk coming out…)

Congratulations to brickhousechick for this weeks winning answer! And from the offered choices, the most popular was I’m the subject of a poll??? That’s udderly ridiculous! So it…behooves me to congratulate all you merry punsters!

My daily desk companions

Henry and Flo
My daily desk companions


Sadly, I spend a lot of time at my desk. And sometimes, I get frustrated with my coworkers or need to get their attention, so I flick a rubber band to catch their eye.
But that got me thinking…what else could I throw at them? Well, that’s this weeks poll. Answer as often as you like, and other answers up to three times. You even have extra time this week, as I will be out in the real world, and offline next weekend. So get your answers in by Monday, 3 Feb, at 2359 EST. Because that’s when this one closes. Oh, and if you leave an “other” answer, leave an ID if you like, or a mention of it in the comments, and I’ll link back to you next week.

And in parting, enjoy this.
I really don’t drink this much anymore. And I probably wasn’t near as funny when I did…

Have a fantastic weekend, y’all!
(The Foolishness will return in two weeks.)

Friday Friday Fo Foolish, Banana Fana So Soolish, Me My Mo Moolish…Foolish!


Today’s Music: Dana Fuchs – Keep On Walkin’
Note On Today’s Music: I was going to go with Starship – Nothngs Gonna Stop Us Now after a twitter conversation with Aussa Lorens, but I’m just not a big enough fan of their music. It brings back too many memories of a thankfully gone era. (Settle own, RoS.) You should check out her blog though! (And RoS too.)
Days Til Spring: 62

kraken
RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!! Surprise!! The Kraken is this weeks Foolishness mascot! (Cato Kaelin wanted too much money.)
And what wasn’t a surprise this week? Why, the great blog posts of course! Here‘s some of what I saw…
In a classic case of “better him than me”, Brain Rants researched the types of people who poop. Benzeknees started taking an online class, and AFrankAngle put up a great piece On Compassion.
Thanks to them and all of you for more spectacular reading!

celebration
And then there was the question of last time’s poll. Or rather, last time’s poll question, where we asked How will you celebrate Tuesday’s? And wow, the party never stops with you guys! Here’s what you said. (As always, my comments are wearing a lampshade in italics.)

Reading Benzeknees! Elyse 54.5
(I recommend starting with her palms, moving to her aura, then the bumps on her head…)
I, King Julian – oh wait Im not King Julian..that could be a problem.. LizzieC
(Or it could be the solution!!!)
All of the above, naturally (Kanerva)
(A pity this answer wasn’t before the Computer Sex one below.)
not killing anyone.
(Then what will we eat for the celebratory meal?)
By having a hamburger and paying you next tuesday – John Phillips
(You’re such a sweet pea!)
With copious amounts of the sweet, sweet cheeba!
(Sonny Chiba?)
Sonny Chiba
by not forgetting to celebrate every Tuesday. Here’s to Tuesdays! 🙂
(Wait – Every Tuesday??? We’re gonna need more chips…)
Visiting every business that is closed on Monday. SilkPurseProductions
(Please tell me you didn’t eat at Fridays.)
You know I’ll be knitting, so I have checked that one. Ha! (Stacy)
(And here I was thinking it was my comments that had people in stitches…)
By reminding myself it’s only 3 days til Friday! SnaaapALongG
(Friday’s are boring. TUESDAY!!!!)
a celebratory nap! hang on I have one of those very day..butimbeautiful
(You’re going to need a nap to recover from all those naps!)
Help Guap build Guapolianville for his model train Linda Vernon
(In 1:86 scale, I think their daylong celebration is about 17 minutes…)
having sex on the keyboard and posting the results on my blog? Wife optional.
(I thought the keyboard liked to be on top?)
Thinking “why the fuck am I celebrating on a school night!” Elyse 54.5
(Because what’s going to school without a hangover?)
(Please tell me that wasn’t just me…)

Preparing for that damn camel and his hump~Addie
(It’s always the quiet ones…)
Having a drink with hopes for Tuesday Foolishness (Frank)
(Have a few more, and believe me, the Foolishness will happen.)
Eating tacos and drinking Tequila. I’m practicing for Tuesday tonight! ~Maddie
(Like they say, Live every day like it’s Tuesday.)
Make every tuesday FAT tuesday. Maggie O.C.
(Wouldn’t that make every Wednesday through Monday Lent?)
Tickle Me Tuesday, of course! –Benzeknees
(Oh god! It’s like the office xmas party all over again!)
Performing my morning ablutions at my office desk; floss, moisturize, nose hair.
(I use pomegranate juice to moisturize my nose hair. But I’ve never flossed it.)
With a keg, as is right and proper for every celebration. (thematticuskingdom)
(WE HAVE A WINNER!!!)
with a bottle of vodka hiding from the world. Tuesdays suck. (thematticuskingdom)
(Of course it sucks. You’re supposed to be using a keg.)
PMAO… Honestly, I don’t have a job, so I forget what day it is…
(Funny, I have a job and keep forgetting who I am…)
sitting at my computer, drinking, and wondering why I’m still alone – Twindaddy
(Sounds like you’re having two Mondays and moving straight to Wednesday.)
Drinking like it’s Friday, then feeling guilty like it’s Saturday. Kayjai
(Now you can sleep it off at work like it’s Monday!)
Getting fucking drunk. I may even wait until after work! –NotAPunkRocker
(I’ve found meetings to be much more fun when I start drinking early.)

Congratulations to DJ Matticus for this weeks winning answer, an answer after my own heart. And from the offered choices, the most popular was a tie between Thanking everything it’s not Monday and Pre-humpday knitting party!!!. So congratulations to all of you that I clearly don’t understand.
See n Say
This week, we continue to enjoy the new year in all its youth. Something else that reminds us of youth is that childhood classic, the See and Say. But it’s a very old toy, and some of the entries could probably do with an update. Well, that’s this weeks poll.
Answer as often as you like, up to 3 Other answers. This one closes ate 2359 EST, on Wednesday, 22 Jan. Because I’m going to try and put the next one up next Friday. And if you do leave an Other answer, leave a way to ID you and I’ll link back next week.

Well, that brings us to the almost end. But before we get tot the very end, I’ll leave you with these…
First, how about a little Muppets?.

And finally, MUPPETS!!!

And that’s the end, but I hope your own Foolishness lives on. Have a great week everyone!