Trifecta – Use Your Brains


Today’s Music: The Ramones – Beat On The Brat (Live)
This week’s Trifectachallenge is the 3rd definition of the word brain:

brain: something that performs the functions of a brain; especially : an automatic device (as a computer) for control or computation

Two bloggers I love, Linda Vernon and Lizzie Cracked have been very supportive of me, so when they said I had to enter this contest, I felt, in the spirit of reciprocity, I couldn’t let them down. If you’ve seen the only consistent poll choice, you know why.
Even if this story goes nowhere near answering the challenge.

That’s Using Your Brains!
He was never the same after he got bit.
But he was my best friend. So we still hung out after the end of the world. Found a nice place some of the rich folks abandoned and just moved in. Got ourselves a generator and a game box.
It wasn’t bad.
Even if he did keep getting worse.
Everyone said I should cut him loose, but it wasn’t really that bad. Even at his worst he knew who I was and never tried nothin.
So, as spring turned to summer and summer to fall, we lived our routine. We played stickball and video games. Raided the supermarkets for food for me. He didn’t need sleep anymore, so hunted at night, and kept our place safe, even as it started to get more run down
He tinkered with things, fixing shelves and appliances, so we had a decent life.
You don’t believe me?
Try this then – true story:
Winter came and it was cold, colder than it had been. the house was coming apart a little too, especially around the window frames. I musta been bitchin about it more than usual because he kept looking at me, you know, with his head tilted to the side, like they do when they see something that interests them.
I thought our friendship was gonna come to an end.
I shoulda had more faith. Because I wake up one morning, and it’s warm! I go downstairs, and there he with this muck all over his hands.
“What happened?” I asked. “How’d you get it so warm in here?”
He held up his rotting arms, covered in the same goop that oozed around the windows and the outside doors, and spoke through his decaying living dead mouth.
“I…uuusssseed…..mmmyyyyyyyy……brrraaaaiiiinnnnssss!”

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107 responses to “Trifecta – Use Your Brains

  1. springfieldfem

    I love it! (also: love the Ramones and the pic from Shaun of the Dead).

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    • Thanks, and I’m glad you caught the pic, springfieldfem! It was the only reference I could think of to playing video games with a zombie.

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      • springfieldfem

        I constantly have red ink on my lab coat. I am disappointed no one has yet to say, “You’ve got red on you.” Such is life.

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  2. That last line made me bust out laughing! Clever story!

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  3. AAAAhhhhh! ::holds hands over eyes:: I can picture it in all its bloody glory! That’s freaking awesome. Creativity WIN!

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    • Thanks Asplenia. I only wish I’d thought of this years ago as a response to my Dad every time he said “Why don’t you use your brains?”
      hehehe

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  4. Hi,
    What a fantastic story, but of course the ending really just blew me away, how very, very clever of you, I just burst out laughing, way too good. 😀

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  5. I had the same reaction as Mel, above; almost choked on my Vienna Sausage, I chuckled so hard! Brilliant ending! I’d say it wasn’t much of a challenge as you had thought, was it?…. Most excellent… Ginger and Lizzie should ask you to write their ascension speeches when they assume the Throne of The Entire World next Midday Moon….

    Now I don’t have to say I didn’t write anything for the contest because I could only find one of my brains…. 🙂 Can’t shoot a guy for going for the cheap laugh, not online anyway…. yet.

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    • Thank you, Gigoid. You know, if you throw the sausage and some ketchup in the blender, it would look like…
      Never mind.
      (And we live for the cheap laugh here at Guapola!)

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      • El Guapo….I knew there was a reason I don’t have a blender! And since y’all live for the cheap laugh, well, I’ve got a huge inventory, just waiting to be used, or sold, cheap…. As Arnie has been known to mumble, “I’ll be back…”

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  6. That is the best. Really. If you don’t win with that, than certain judges aren’t using their brains.

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  7. whiteladyinthehood

    Guapo, you are a mad man (but in a good way!)…Good Job.

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  8. well…you managed, and quite adroitly i might add, to finally get “brrraaaaiiiinnnnssss!” into a wonderful story (forgive me if you’ve done this prior – i missed it) anyway EG, you da man! continue…

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  9. I give…you are the BEST!

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  10. Awesome, Guap! I’m a sucker anything with a reanimated corpse in it!

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  11. Clever ending. I’m still laughing. Good job.

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  12. Haha, Shaun of the Dead! I know I’m safe at the library, since zombies always want brains and none of our patrons seem to have any.

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  13. Hahahaloling! Larry! You have out done yourself! The first two lines are genius! And the last line was nothing short of more genius! A masterpiece El Guapo! In fact, It is so brilliant that I am officially upgrading your moniker from Elnest Guapingway to El Guapo And you used Lizzie’s word and gave us shout outs! Thanks for putting whip cream and a cherry on the top of my day! : D

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  14. That was fun. I liked the structure of it and the amusement at the end. I don’t know how you made it work, but boy did you ever. 🙂

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  15. I was right there with you both.
    Ingenious 🙂

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  16. WordPress hasn’t been telling me when you post! I thought it had gone a bit quiet, it’s been doing this a lot lately with various people. That displeases me.

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  17. Very cool goings there Guapo, and the tunes are dynamite.

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  18. Cheers to your creativity … and the ending not only surprised me, it made me laugh! Well done.

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  19. You know, I like it not because of the gore, but because the two guys were friends despite their ‘differences’. AND sweet zombies are always the best! Awww…look what he did for his bestie…I like it. Nice job!

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  20. Brilliant stuff – a shoe in – Ramones too – what a find in my lunch break!

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  21. Great story, I had a good laugh…I am glad you survived this adventure!

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  22. I love the optimistic tone of the narrator — and the story within the story! So nicely crafted! 🙂

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  23. Bravo Guapo! (I’m sure somewhere in Argentina there’s a band with that name!) Well done…a touching tale of ‘undying’ friendship, humor, a great ending and brraaiiinnnnss, whats not to love?! Also love the Ramones song!

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  24. No! Oh my gosh, horrible. I love the conversational style of this piece. Drew me right in. Until the end. Then I was repelled. Well done.

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  25. You were the FIRST person I thought of when I saw the prompt. Great story.

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  26. Quite well done! I love the undead, newly dead and reanimated; especially when they are so hopeful and genius.

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  27. ♥. Although, I’m thinking that human brains are over-rated…….

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  28. Great ending. I like the plays on words and culture. You killed this.

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  29. Ohhhhhh. That’s ….. disgusting and wonderful. I’m not sure if it’s the third definition or not, but I liked the story for sure.

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    • Thanks JesterQueen.
      Pretty sure I missed the definition, but my art will not be contained!!!!!
      No?
      Ok, it was all I could come up with, but I laughed while writing it, and that’s good enough for me.

      Like

  30. How nice that our narrator’s loyalty was rewarded! You have a wonderful, twisted sense of humor.

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  31. hah 🙂 so ridiculous and hilarious! I had no idea grey matter was so insulating!

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  32. Nice story! I love the Shawn of the Dead picture you put up. Such a good flick.

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  33. Zombies rock…especially when they aren’t trying to eat you 🙂

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  34. (Standing ovation). Thanks for feeding me zombie after the season has ended for The Walking Dead. This was great!

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  35. Nothing like a little Ramones and a lot of zombies. What a fun story! I’m a big lover of all things punk rock and undead. Well done.

    Good luck on the challenge!

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  36. trifectawriting

    Thanks for linking up to Trifecta this week. If you haven’t already done it, you might be interested in clicking on the “Meet Your Fellow Trifectans” tab on our site and introducing yourself there. Hope to see you back on Monday for the new prompt.

    BTW, had this been the third definition, it’d have shot straight to the top. Loved it. Also, oddly, love that you don’t really care if it’s the third definition or not. 🙂

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  37. Ewwww! That was fabulous. You have a cracked sense of humor, for sure. 🙂 I loved the narrator’s voice.

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  38. Fabulous EG. I too found the last line made the story! hehehe. Ah, love my twisted friends. Great entry and fine writing.

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  39. Well done, Guap….I love this!! 🙂

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  40. And you should be proud of this one! It’s fantastic. I’m smiling from ear to ear. 😀

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  41. Pingback: Feature Friday: Guapola | Stuphblog

Ahem *best Ricky Ricardo voice* Babble-OOOoooo!!!

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